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About Me

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  1. So I went to the hospital at 2:30 AM. They gave me a 30mg shot of Toradol. That only reduced it a bit. They sent me home. I took 2 Tylenol 1 and got in bed at 5:45. I woke up before 7:30 screaming in pain. My husband took me back to the hospital. This time it was another dr. He said he is sure I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and gave me another shot of Toradol 60mg. He gave me 200 mg of carbamazepine . I have to take 400 mg a day. It is an anti seizure medication that will relax the nerve. And he have me hydromorhone 2 mg for pain. They have me lined up to see a specialist. Sorry I am not making much sense I am taking 2 medications which make you very very sleepy and confused.
  2. Recently i was asked by someone to describe to them how it feels to suffer from depression, and to be perfectly honest i think thats a very very hard thing to do. I thought i would try and put it in words here before answering my friends question, so that others can read this, and share their thoughts and feelings with me, maybe you suffer or have suffered, or maybe you have a friend or loved one who suffers Before we go on, i am on medication and recieving councelling So thank you all for your concern So here is my attempt to explain things - I dont know what its like to feel normal, every day i wake up, and i find it hard to get my brain to wake, all i want to do is lie in bed and sleep. When you do wake up, you dont feel right, a strange feeling a bit like poisoning is inside of you, it saps your strength and your will. You take your pills, at a different time every day, sometimes you forget whever you have taken them or not. You feel gloom, like a pain in your heart, you feel scared and you cant snap out of it. Its like you are grieving for the part of you thats died. Things in your home get you down, the housework suffers as things build up, until you cant take it any more and have to do something. You forget to eat, or dont want too. You turn on the TV, 100's of channels and nothing you want to watch, then you turn on your pc, game after game after game sits on the shelf, none of them are fun to play. So you go back to bed, so tired, or you haev a shower and your head drifts away, sometimes you wish that you are the water, slowly going down the plug. Sometimes you want to be gone, after all, you have no friends, nobody cares Every day is the same, like living in a limbo, and the only way out is to beat the problems, or they beat you Small tiny things can make you worse, a bill through the letterbox, a bit of bad news about some awful disaster round the world, but almost nothing can make you better. Thats how depression feels to me, and i hope you dont feel down reading this, as atm im not feeling as bad as this, just remember how it feels Do you think i summed it up? Have u had a different experience? Toad
  3. Three o'clock Time for Jenny to come out And prettily get her coffee I pray to my pink paxil jar Pretty pills please help me Talk to her
  4. Fade to black Whiskey and pills No way back Lost will, forever still World in past Blood spilled My life I have killed Kids laugh and cry Love destroyed never to return Suicide in my eyes So many ways So many reasons Life faded away Heart torn and betrayed No more tears no more laughs Joy and misery combined Another world left behind God tried to take me once Now I want to go Me he no longer wants
  5. Hello I'm new here & so desperate. I had a Jack Russell terrier called Lucy, as all dog owners say, she was the best, so beautiful, clean & humanlike. She was about 15 years old & recently started acting confused, not eating much, tail was down, no interest, going a bit deaf, but as dogs can't talk, we didn't know the prob. We knew she had a bad tooth & maybe that was distressing her. We went to the PDSA in uk, which is a vet for people on benefit as my parents are pensioners & they gave her anti inflammatory & anti biotic pills, saying it was old age. They don't do scans or anything as they are a charity & is too expensive. We couldn't feed them her as she got aggressive & it was a physical impossibility to give the daily dose! Friday morning she started chattering her teeth & having violent seizures, her head, legs & body moving so intense & her eyes looking so scared i was much, it was hard to take. We took her to the clinic at 5.30am & they sedated her & told us to phone back at 10 am, we did & they said they had monitored her every half hour, bringing her out of sedation & the seizures started again, this happened for 7 hours. The vet said if she was to stay alive, she would need permanent sedation, no life for a beautiful dog. Thing is my mum is depressed & i have anxiety, her marriage is just a habit after 47 years & they aren't close really, the dog was everything to her, she treated it like a human. She says now it was all she had & is the final straw. Guilt is a sign of shock & bereavement, as is anger. She says she knew it was more than old age & blames me & my dd for not taking her earlier, but still the vet would have said old age & given her pills, who knows. She said she would have paid thousands to make her well. We all have cried non stop, i am taking valium like sweets, i see her, hear her, dream of her, smell her & we are all in total shock that she is gone & wewon't see her again. Can anyone empathise. Our world seems in tatters, i can't study, my mum is in bed with high blood pressure & i can't do anything to help, my dad is feeling guilt as there is tension between them & i worry about his health. I have read the below topic about pet bereavement & empathise with Max. I just know that she was put to rest whilst sedated, so she knew nothing about it. I just can't believe i won't play ball with her again, or see her chase cats. She was the best, so clean & always scratched at the door when she wanted to pee etc. I have lots of photos i can't begin to see. I've had to move her bed, her bowl, her toys, her chews, her lead etc. I'm so upset & don't know when this will end. Can someone help please Gary
  6. My friend has just been diagnosed with this crippling disease. I feel so bad and helpless b/c I cant do anything Her medication are injections of inteferon. OMG...I feel so sad. Does anyone have any knowledge of this disease/know anyone? I will be researching it online. Thanks...
  7. I have been taking medication for depression for about a month and a half. I was wondering if it is "normal" for me not to be able to orgasm as easily as I used to. When I am able to, it seems like it takes forever. Sometimes, when masturbating, I get so tired of trying that I have to stop. It is so frustrating! Sometimes porn helps, you know the sights and sounds get me going. Any ideas?
  8. i'm a survivor of a suicide attempt.. i took an overdose of pills 15 tablets 2b exact.. i was uncontrolably scared and unhappy and frustrated.... my parents were not understanding me but instead pressuring me whch lead 2 my suicide attempt th hardest thing abt surviving a suicide attempt is the shame that u face afterwards society places a stigma on u as a 'freak' somebody who's mentally 'unstable'... we who try to commmit suicide r no less sick than cancer patient our pain is real our problems r real.... i regret the night i spent in d hospital wid a tube in side me puming out all those pills... however tryig to commit suicide did not change or solve my problems wen i was realeased from the hospital all my problems were still there. i haven't been cured and i still am sick and depressed and overwhelmingly stressed i do wish 2 die but for wat i went through that night i cannot try 2 take my life again... but i do want to die.. please ppl out there help me fight this my own ppl r not wid me, my bf has left me, he left me in my time of need... i have no one someone pls help why should i live? i need an answer 2 that....i get a tight feeling in my chest everytime i'm stressed and i run tobthe phone 2 call my bf and he doesn't want 2 hear me orsupport me infact he has found another gf... i get up trembling in the middle of the night.. crying uncontrolably.. i cant function properly and my heart is broken my life is broken i cannot live widout my bf i need his support my parents do not understandand r involved in there own probs and i feel itsbetter 2 die than stay another day on this earth grieveing and suffering like this..... i have nothin 2 live 4..... studying getting a good job is pointless wen ur life is filled wid loneliness like minei have nvr experienced tru love or happiness i have always given up my happiness and given 2 everybody else its too over bearing i can't handle watching myself in the mirror, everytime i close my eyes i ask god why am i here? and why r u punishing me? i already took counciling but it hasn't worked, i don't sleep properly.... i don't wanna eat i get blackouts a few times 4 the day... i go deaf wid the silence i'm surronding by i have troubling breathing i'm reaching out 4 help but no ones helping me,i think to myself that god does not love me or care 4me otherwise i wuld nvr b this way but wat have i done 2 deserve this? i am sick and in need i cannot b put on any medication because of my suicide attempt, i cannot b sedated wen i'm in pain.. my body is filled wid pain somedays i can't move but inside of me especially my chest is filled wid anxiety and uneasiness and i feel like if i can see my bf or talk 2 him or just hav him hold me i'll b ok... pls this is my last chance HELP ME B4 I SINK
  9. I've tried doing a search online, but can't find anything, so I'm sorry if this is not appropriate for enotalone. If no one has any advice or anything, can you point me in the direction of a health-related website or message board? I got my wisdom teeth out this morning. All was good until the novacaine wore off!! I actually thought i'd be able to go to work tomorrow, ha, was i fooled! I'm not concerned about my recovery, I'm just not sure what is "normal" or if I should call the doctor (It's almost 10:30pm where I am, and I don't know if my surgeon's office has an ansewring service) Here's what's going on: I got out of surgery at about 11am this morning. After I take my acetaminophen/codeine pills I start to feel better, but then I got a hot flash and got really nauseous, so I laid down (on my side!!). I hadn't eaten anything so I was sure I wouldn't throw up. Later around 7-7:30 I took some more pain meds and tried to eat something b/c i thought maybe it was my empty stomach that made me feel nauseous...Nope, I ate and about 10-15 min later I got the worst hot flash and had to lay down (i was scared i'd throw up, and that's deff doesn't sound like a good idea with my jaw hurting as bad as it does!) That's really my main problem, except that I'm still bleeding. Not a lot, it finally started to slow down, but I still am, and it's annoying more than anything. Please let me know if you have any advice. Thanks.
  10. well, i'm throwing in the towel. i've written numerous posts here about my latest relationship. i've been focused on what i could do to make things better.........and i've realized it's not about me..........it's about my ex-gf. a little history. i got out of a 6-year relationship last december. it was very sad and difficult. 2 months later, i met my recent ex. she seemed really nice and cool and i enjoyed her personality. after i started having feelings for her, i realized she had lied to me about certain aspects about herself. i was hurt but tried to forgive them as the lies seemed to be because of her low self-esteem rather than just malicious lies to hurt me. we moved forward. things were looking better. then we had an argument and she tried to kill herself with pills. she almost died but her therapist thinks it was mostly for attention - not really to die. i supported her all through that - being in the er with her that day, icu, and then visiting and calling her when she was kept in the psych unit for a few days. i was always there for her when she needed me. after that, she went through a training program for a job. she was unable to get a job from it but a month ago got a different kind of job. so she's working for the first time since i've known her. anyway, we've had some rough spots, some temporary breakups and each time they are worse - becuase of her. she avoids, runs - and i find it to be selfish and inconsiderate. she never says, "hey, i need some time to sort things out, but i'll be in touch". she just stops answering my calls and my messages. like i don't exist. that's not love. i've been afraid to leave the relationship because i fear the loneliness, but now i am ready to move on. she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder stemming from her crappy childhood - and my therapist told me yesterday that they are not capable or really loving someone and that they view other people as objects who are not allowed to have thoughts and feelings. i've been so upset, especially by having to deal with some things from my long-term breakup that i avoided by getting in this new relationship that i feel very sad and lonely. anyway, i began zoloft. i've never taken any of those kinds of medications but i felt it would help - at least in the short term with my weekly therapy as well. it already has seemed to help my obsessive thoughts about the inner workings of this failed relationship.
  11. About a month ago I was put on 20 mg Celexa a day to help me cope with my anxiety. It has taken me awhile to get used to the medication's side affects (jitteriness, etc). I have noticed that my anxiety is calming down. But, I have ALSO noticed that I am tired more often, I go to sleep earlier, and I am tired throughout the day. Is that normal? I dont like being tired a lot because even though I am not working, I like being on the go and I like staying up late. Last night I was tired by 10 PM and went to bed. I am now usually sleepy by around 9 PM. Today, I took a nap in the afternoon. Will it be like this for the long haul or will the tiredness go away eventually? I also feel depressed about things, kind of down. Ugh! I dont know how people can deal with taking meds for stuff like this.
  12. My husband, who's 43 has to take sexual stimulants to have decent sex, the problem is that he also wants sex from others as well. He was the same way when he used drugs ten years ago. Meth made him extremely horny. Now he takes these pills, and there doing the same thing. This is the only time I get great sex forhours rather then three minute romps here and there. He's signing up to different sites looking for both bi-sexual, gay and other married people in our area to hook up with. When he's straight, it's excuse after excuse for not having sex. I can't believe these and other drugs can do this to him, but it does. He keeps telling me that I'm the one who needs something for sexual arousal as well, that wer'e never on the same page, never horny when he wants it, not when I do. Thats the only time I can get great sex, is when he takes his pills, then even afterwards he goes online looking.
  13. hello everyone, i have a friend, she is going through a lot right now. emotionally she is unstable. she has been feeling depressed a lot in the recent weeks and has been cutting herself. i don't know what to do to help her and to stop her from inflicting herself. the cuts aren't deep, but i'm worried that eventually they shall become so. i ask my friend why she does it and she says she can't pinpoint one exact reason, because it is a lot of reasons, little things like seeing someone or hearing something that gets on her nerves...like someone walking around dragin their feet irritates her and she goes into an irritated state and all those depression feelings rush to her. she goes to counseling but it doesnt help, they have put her on medication, but to me it seems that she has only gotten worst since she started her medication. i don't know what i can do to help her stay happy, things we used to do for fun are no longer fun for her and she's my best friend, i dont want to lose her, she is my only friend. if anyone could please respond with advice on what i should do to help my friend out of this hole... she recognizes that she has a problem but doesn't know the exact source because every little thing triggers it and she doesnt know how to stop feeling the way she does, for me as her friend, i'm dying watchin her do things to herself and be that way...what else can i do for her?????
  14. I was wondering if it's safe to stop your period from arriving by skipping placebo week and jumping right into a new pack of pills. Will there be spotting or cramping? Any long-term harm? And does it matter what brand of BC you're using? I'd like to do this on Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo so if anyone has any experience with this, that'd be great!
  15. As some of you may know I have started to see a psychologist. Today was my fourth meeting with him going every two weeks. I originally had gone there to get over some greif issues I have been having and to get professional opinion on some other things where I have had trauma in the past in my life. Funny thing is 2 weeks ago, last time I went he gave me some tests. I found out today that the test was an IQ test.. He said that if 100 is adverage and 115 is fairly bright and 130 is high level intelligence that I score a 120-130 range and possibly higher with further testing. This doesnt surprise me though.. What surprises me is that he says also that he thinks I have ADD (attention deficit disorder) and that I have been undiagnosed and untreated all my life. He said that alot of the things I have told him about my reactions to situations and now knowing my high intelligence plus some other test he gave me too that he thinks this is most of what my problem is. He said that I went from the workplace out in the world to being a stay at home person and that I have become bored pretty much. That I want to be challenged and my mind wants to be stimulated allt he time. All of this makes sense. I spend alot of time online doing 3 and 4 things at once. At any time I may have my hands it all kinds of things from building webpages to giving HTML/CSS support on another forum, to browsing posting here, all while hosting tournaments and chatting in my online gaming league ... and at that same time taking care of my son (20 months).. Cant ever seem to concentrate on just one thing, have to have more than one thing going and I think I have allways been this way. Im currently researching online what all of this is. Does anyone here have this personally? He also wants to test my 8 year old tomarrow to see if he also has ADD as he said that it can be genetic and the things I tell him about my son make him think its definitely a possibility. (he doesnt stop talking, he cant sit still , poor impulse control, lack of focus) He also said that 85 percent of the people treated with medications if the right dosage is found find that the problem totally disapears. He doesnt want to give me any meds right now as I am pregnant and will be for 12 more weeks plus I plan to nurse. He did say though it is something he suggests, also he is a psychologist and doesnt even prescribe meds so I have no clue how THAT would work.... Anyway... Any thoughts on this?? The meds? The condition?? Im kinda stunned here wondering what all of this means..
  16. I have an in home daycare. I have been taking care of an 11 month old for a couple of weeks now. Problem is he cries and screams to be held all the time. I feel like i'm not allowed to go to the bathroom. At first every time I would leave the room he'd cry, even If I'm a few feet away and visible to him, he cries. When I say leaving room, I mean going to get a bottle, going to fix breakfast or going to get my son who is 6 months out of his bed.Not leaving them unattended. Now, he even cries if I take a step backward, honestly. He demands to be held, gets angry and screams if I pay aother child attention, cries until I hang up the phone,hits everybody even his own mom. His Grandma who was keeping him before me is the one who called for my services but said she had to tell his mom about me. So they both came to the interview that day. The Grandmother said in response to my questions that the child was about 1, was walking, used a sippee cup for drinking but still took some formula.During the interview the mom stated (some of this info was volunteered by her before I could ask)that he was a very well behaved baby who rarely cried, that she wouldn't bring him over if he was sick because she didn't want to make my baby sick,she wouldn't drop him off until 6:30AM,and to pre-pay before my services. I did tell her however that she could pay by the day or week as long as it was paid beforehand and that after a while if I seen they were good payers that I would work with her if she had issues, but atleast the 1st week had to be paid in advance.She agreed. When mom asks me how he is, if I say hes alittle cranky she will say, "oh yea, I think hes teething. If I say he is screaming all day, she says "uh, I think its his ears". If I say hes fine, she says nothing. For the past couple of days shes even bringing tylenol for me to give him and says to call her if I cant handle him.Well, the other day after he had screamed for 5 hours and really upset my son i did call her to come get him.She called me later and said the MD said he had his Ninth ear infection in the past 3-4 months.I asked her what were they doing about it.She said she takes him back, it hasnt cleared up so the MD writes him the same antibiotic everytime and thats why it wont clear up. Come on! That sounds improbable to me. She brought him back in 2 days with a bottle of tylenol but no antibiotics for me to give.I have taken his temp several times, he never has 1, he never pulls at his ears.Oh, that day he screamed 6 hours, when his mom picked him up, he started laughing and hitting her!Anyway, she is bringing him 15-30 min. earlier than agreed causing my 7 year old to miss the bus,has charged her fees 3 times in 5 days, never knocks on my door, barges in and informed me today that 2morrow I will be keeping him a little over time because she has a meeting then has to go get her check cashed anyway so she can pay me. She did not ask me if I could or how much I charged for overtime(she already gets an hour extra plus my fees are dirt cheap)I'm starting to think that i'm putting myself at link removed he really sick or just spoiled or both?Could I be held liable if something is going on with him at home that I dont know about? My baby, 7 year old, my husband and myself have been sick ever since he started coming here.Plus my baby shouldnt have to hear that screaming all day. Do I give her a notice to find someone else or jump ship asap?P.s child can walk but refuses to, also he is not even holding his own bottle, the sippee cup i have to put it in his mouth and tilt his head back for him to link removed his age this is not normal.
  17. Most of the people in here seem to be a better type of person than I am, less messed up in a fundamental way. I am not talking about depression, saying your not as unhappy as me, just well your probably not as much a social freak. I don't like the word depression. I don't believe in psychiatry whatsoever except when a person is "psychotic". Well its certainly not for me. I am a very unhappy and miserable but aggitated sort of person. I always have been, really but especially since about the age of 12. I'm 31 now. I've been on the psychiatry bandwagon, medications, seen psychologists etc.. It didn't help me, in fact may have made me worse. They always say I have a "personality disorder" and symptoms of depression etc. I used to have real bad anxiety. For many years. I had HEAPS of full blown panic attacks.. Hyperventillation, Shaking, Rapid heart beat etc.. I used to be real neurotic. I believed I was dying of diseases. I thought I had cancer, heart disease, a stroke. I thought I was being poisoned. I wouldn't trust people not to poison my food or put drugs in it. I had equipment and I would take my blood pressure sometimes say 100 times a day as well as measure my pulse. Incredibly while I get anxious, I am nowhere near like before but the unhappyness is always present. Im not neurotic now. I dont know why it stopped. I was a severe alchoholic for a while. I was homeless and I got many charges against me, about 30. They were all stuff like disorderly behaviour, resisting arrest, property damage etc.. When I was drunk I often used to smash the bottles up and cut myself up. i wasn't trying to kill myself, i was trying to "hurt" myself but I wouldn't say at the time I cared what happened. I of course had heaps of stitches and a few operations, I am lucky i can still move my fingers etc. I am ashamed of the marks, I've got perhaps 60-70 altogether on legs and arms. Some of very pronounced. I used to hallucinate and stuff from the alcohol and have well hellish hallucination you couldn't imagine. I think my memory is permanently well a bit stuff as are some of my cognitive functions. I pulled away from Alcohol. Somehow.. Somehow I dont know how. It was more for other people. I was around kids. I had to stop. And I did. I am on disability. I've never had a job. I was quite messed up as a teenager. Like when I was 13 I smashed my fathers house up really bad causing about $30,000 damage (Australian dollars) and I threatened to kill him with an axe. I burnt all the pictures of myself and destroyed all my property and was put into a hospital against my will for several months. They put me on these medications and I put on HEAPS of weight. I lost most of it for a while but i've always had the disposition. Recently, I have put on heaps. At age 26 I was 85 kilos.. Now at 31 I have gone to 112kilos but this is also since i have stopped drinking. But damn I gave up alcohol and got off smoking onto nicorettes (actually ive been on and off the gum for 12 years, 5 years in a row now) but I can't damn lose weight. Its the one thing I can't beat. I'm too damn unmotivated anyway. Well Ive never had a girl friend, or even had any sort of sexual experience. Yes I want to, Ive got an ususually high sexual drive i believe and i am social. But girls always want to be my friend and are never interested. My sex drive is much lower now. I definitely feel i've missed out on to me the most important part of my life, not just the sex, but the relationship, the affection. Even when I was thin and fit I couldnt find a girl so now I reckon I have no chance cause I am really fat. I am too well unmotivated to shave and stuff anyway. I am on disability so i dont have to go out. I rarely do. I get lots of weird thoughts these days and "mix ups".. I think thats cause of the alchohol but sometimes i worry the nicorettes stuff my brain up cause for a while i was chewing around 3 times the maximum recommended dose and could not cut down cause i would get so stressed out and "depressed" and think really bad stuff. I always wake up each night feeling I am suffocated.. My heart races so fast and I get bad pain in my chest.. THen I get up and it goes away after 30 seconds. It probably some left over from the anxiety problem I had in the past. It usually happens within the first 1-2 hours of going to sleep. I cant concentrate on anything. I cant motivate myself to do anything. The more pressure I put on myself the more out of control my moods get. I know not to pressure myself cause I well I am a potentially extreme sort of person. I have tried medications they are bull * * * *. Antidepressant dont do anything, seem to make me feel like drinking i also feel as well so for this reason I keep off them. Especially the SSRI's seem to make me feel like drinking I think this may be because I reckon they make me much higher when I am drinking.People would say I would speak so fast they couldn't understand what i was saying. This would only happen when drunk on stuff with prozac. The neuroleptics are good to reduce stress and sleep but they ALL make my legs unable to stop moving and its torture. Even the new ones. They also make me really, really hungry and i've tried a few. Also i've had my tongue go funny on them and i get this weird feeling in my tongue whenever i take them. No way am i touching them. I dont trust them Lithium, mood stabalisers didnt help.. I dont think i have anything like bipolar anyway. Not yet atleast. So no i dont believe in medication anymore. I dont enjoy life. I often wake up and its not uncommon for me to have tears in my eyes but never full blown crying. I am always just trying to distract myself from the moment. But nothing satisfied me. The thing I would like most is a girlfriend but I am also unusually selective. I'd like a girlfriend almost just so i can die and say i have one. I dont want to die a virgin. I used to believe if i killed myself i would go to a sort of hell like in the hellraiser movies. this used to put me off killing myself bigtime. I felt i would be tortured for all eternity in a way worst than any prison of war camp etc.. I dont believe this anymore at all. I am a complete atheist. My life is miserable. The prognosis is poor. I dont believe free will exists by the way. I believe cognitiion is an illusion of biological processes. I dont believe i have a chemical deficit in my head just that my brain is of poor quality, a sort of crappy organ with deficits. I mean i did have brain damage when I was born (mild). I have extensively researched suicide methods. I mean high quality sources not just babbling rubbish. it feels liberating. I mean perhaps I could indeed slit my throat but why should i suffer my last few moments like that? I am NOT going to kill myself now, I cannot I have responsiblilities. It would mess some people up. You may say I have people its more they need me. I am there for *them*. But you know its a rational objective solution. I wish society was mature enough to say that for a select few, some people are just too disfunctional and it is humane to allow them to die. Why do you have to wait till people crack? Sometimes they crack and take down others? if people are to be held responsible for their actions (ie beaten up in prison) they should be allowed a respectable way out.. I just want to say that I dont want ANYONE else to think of hurting themselves. It may be a good option for me, but please your probably not like me. These young people who are so frustrated and depressed, at least your not 30 looking back going man i am old.. All my sexual conditioning is REALLY, SERIOUS, COMPLETELY MESSED UP. I mean I certainly don't find 30 year old women attractive. I havn't had women around to grow up with and I guess the conditioning move on. What chance do I have with a 20 year old women? None.. But my attractions have become abnormal. When you feel your programming is as messed up as mine. You realise its not worth it. But I hope all you other people find happyness. Bye
  18. my mom is in her late forties and having hip replacement surgery. to get ready the doctor told her to take iron supplements for 3 weeks prior to the surgery date. he told her to take five 65mg pills three times a day. thats FIFTEEN iron pills a day. at 65mg each, that is 975mg of iron per day. this sounded like a lot so i researched it and i saw you could overdose on iron. and the recommended daily value was something like 40mg on the high side... my question is, does anyone know if 975mg a day of iron is okay in this situation? or is it way too much for any situation? she is not anemic and we asked the doctor to verify this amount and he said it is correct but it still sounds crazy. i just want to find someone that might know someone who has had to take this much and have it be ok. sorry im rambling... im worried... THANKS IN ADVANCE EVERYONE!
  19. I was wondering if we can share the lyrics (or part of) that really is beautiful, touching or meaningful.. u know, those kinda lyrics that really touches your heart. If its not too personal, you can also tell us why this song touches you very much. We really want to know, don't we ... Me, You, My Medication - Boys like girls Found my way to the highway I don't wanna tell you the state Im in I've had too much to smoke too much to drink where have I been It feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in And I don't know where to begin We're all looking for something To take away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication The way back to the right track maybe you can help me find the door Is it too much to ask, too much too fast, too much to ignore It feels like your bodys getting closer but you seem so far away Medicine make it ok We're all looking for someone To take away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication Can you feel it? Do you feel it? Coming down You gotta get up Can you get up Off the ground Can you hear it? Can you hear me screaming? Can you feel it? Do you feel it? Coming down You gotta get up Can you get up Off the ground I wanna hear it Wanna hear you breathing Were all addicted to something That takes away the pain Me and you and my medication (Making the best of it) Love is just a chemical creation (Will it be permanent?) Synthetic sensation Me you and my medication Important to me because when i got dumped by one of my ex GFs i was looking to anything to take away the pain, and i still am. Nothing works so far.
  20. I wish that you could see me. See what I really am. Deepest fears. Secret wishes. Desperate longings. Fiery anger. Vicious words. You don’t know me. Can’t begin to appreciate, The darkness within. I wish, Sometimes. I dream, Occasionally. I’m disappointed, Always. My heart aches, My eyes feel heavy, My soul is like lead, I’m dragging myself along. I’m losing it all again. Just when I got it back. I’m right where I started. And I can’t take this anymore. Save me. I’m drowning. Fading away. Hurting inside. Aching outside. No escaping. Pain follows. Tears flow. Take everything. Leave nothing. Empty shell. No feelings. Just pills. And cuts. Killing myself. Slowly, surely. Almost gone. Would really like some feedback.....=)
  21. Just Seventeen - This poem could be triggering to people who suffer from self harm, eating disorders or suicidal thoughts. Just a warning. This sweet young girl, Just seventeen, She has this smile, Kind, so innocent, never mean. To those around her, she is the glue, The one who holds them tight, Yet when she is alone, her smiles are few. Silent tears fall down, Her face looks only to the ground. She’s waiting for someone to be her glue, Wishing that some day she would be found. Yet all they see are these fake smiles, To them she is so bright, Happiness they see, Never do they understand her fight. With deep new cuts, Secret trips to the bathroom, Tears are falling, She’s out of control, she knows what looms. Trying to stop, but she can't resist, Getting rid of her food, She doesn't want to feel like this, She needs to break this mood. So she cuts, she purges, She slices and vomits, The pain killers stop working, She dreams for the numbness. 88 pills, sit in front of her face, 88 pills tempt her fate, She doesn't want to die, But it may be too late. So she takes one, And just one more, She doesn't want to do this, She falls to the floor. She’s not so sweet, Not so kind, She’s not so innocent, She’s out of her mind. Scratching her skin, Cutting away, She can still feel your touch, She begs for you to go away. "Leave me alone!" She screams in vein, For no one is around, Is she truly this insane She takes the mirror, Her face it does reflect, She can feel that man, But where and how she cannot detect. She haunted, Shes scared, Fearful, Afraid. Nothing is left for her to do; She pours some pills into her hand, How many she doesn't know, Into her mouth, she feels herself floating off the land. Her vision is blurred, She turns her back, One moment your there, The next everything is black. Will she wake up? Just seventeen? There is no chance, This ending was never foreseen.
  22. Ok, well , I actually wrote this about a month ago... erm, dunno if its good though... As my nail jams into my skin Grazing softly As I grin Seeing comfort came to me once again Taking pills to kill the pain Though it's all just in my head I still hope for that time When it's all gone Staring boldly at the mrror Watching the tears fall down my cheeks Creating the rivers I feared to drown in Once Again Drowning out my screams in music Hiding my pain under my clothes Faking a smile so the tears don't come once more Bite my lips and pull my hair As I lay there on the floor Contemplating the ceiling I jam my nail once more Now I sit there in disappointment Wishing it all goes away I just close my eyes and say I survived another day... -TATY-
  23. Rest the trigger on your finger wait until I disappear caress the cold souless metal and blow away your tears shave off the excess blood carve away the pain as you lay aside yourself think of me and everyone remember the shame see me feel me laying on the shell take me in swallow me me and my hate take me away let me be slide me into your vein and embrace my presense as I swim inside of you shatter your flesh for me and my lonelyness forget me but reminice as you relapse fall back once again to the sadness behold the sorrow the pain you bring when you left the shower from all those who loved you tears of fire hidden in little metal pills im was your only savior your only souladjuster and I failed you but I am still here Be one with me and esperience the reality
  24. i had to vent one night, so i wrote this poem, its a little dark, but i am alot better now, i just want to know what anyone else thinks, i have blanked out the swares with asterisks. LIFE I don't know what to do, I think i'm gonna fall, Breakdown to the floor, And do nothing but bawl, This plane of life, Is about to crash, And in my heart, There will be a big gash I'm tired of being hurt, Tired of being used, I'm tired of being laughed at, And tired of being abused, My mom always says, "Life will get better", How can that be, When I'm put through the shredder, Some times i think, Everyones above, I,m just lower, And i'll never find love, I've tried many pills, I've even smoked dope, But it never helps, There's no way to cope, I got out the gun, I wanted to be dead, I loaded it up, And put it to my head, As i stared down the barrel, At the end of the muzzle, I figured it out, The whole f***ing puzzle, Life may not be great, Life may be unfair, But f*** what they say, I don't f***ing care, so now i'm okay, i'm feeling alrite, i can see my goal, its in plain sight.
  25. beacuse i didnt feel like pronouncing all of the language.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 1] mussles relaxed from pills that will soon induce convulsants...... stong an powerful that can have one spittn blood like faucets.... dialating pupils, outrageous movements from ones torso..... these haulucinations seem to tear flesh apart so unremorseful..... force from sadantants, will have ure heart ripped n shreadded.... knew from the making, this can have minds lifted n embedded.... feels like coke n benzine wedded, to kill ure whole Inhibitory drugs do u in such as peircing ure lungs jumpin from da 3rd story salucadations to ure kidneys which crumble as if artificial....... cuz anxiety is ruining u from overdoseing on Secobarbitals...... the dendrits of the possesor cringe to use mo forceful antidotes..... n u wana live right? when u on ah binge struggle on ya lass rope..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 2] faces of men twisted unorthodox parrallel to his existence...... yayo pipes from paradox promises de-swells reminisance...... bloody arms shaking from abrasive needles peirced in veins... sharing virus infected in colonies that seem to go n trains...... the horizon in their eyes closes, to show death in disguise..... these deamons come in surprise, to sho men their utter demise.... reach fo allies, held down to earth so u cant reach for the skies.... look in ya eyes, can't see anything but empty promosis n lies... premanition of premature xanax, flooding the upper level..... the brain becomes stagnant, reducing to influence from the devil... twitch in withdrawl, we see no activty from his lungs at all..... switch n appall, we pay respects for a man whos life has dissolved..... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance.... [verse 3] habitual practices deceived to feel licit reduce hypoxia.... the tissues decay n receive no oxygen its locked fo ya.... larynx sufferage, trachea place in throat to help him breathe... dis is from enveloped failed experiments to make humans bleed.... induce vomit the stomach cannot hold whats not meant to go in.... but u refuse to give up the ghost, to be dead n lifeless within.... pounding in the chest, shockwaves to help eyes rotate forward grounded in caressed, form ure seizures screamin help me Lord!!! da drugs are savage, they have no remorse on ure vital signs like thugs who r ravage, they beat until u can't think with ure mind.... [chorus 4x] elusidative eruption defined thru chemicals formed...... outrageous assumptions refined thru hypnosis re-born.. broken particals mended only thru expensive super science.... spoken 2 b remarkable, but thats by their own alliance....
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