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  1. Hello all! Hope you are all keeping well and safe during these crazy covid19 times. I am looking for recommendations for somewhere i can buy thats not insanely priced in the USA. I am basically buying the property to spend 6 months of the year in the US and 6 months in the UK as thats what my passport allows. I am looking to buy/move October 2021. My budget is $350k as i have to buy cash as not a US citizen. I am looking for something that has 3 bedrooms at least and is in a decent neighbourhood. I am going to live in the USA home from October 1st till March 31st so needs to be a state where it's warm that time of year, does not need to be roasting hot just warm, i want to avoid the UK winter! I guess that keeps me to the coastal states? I've been to California and Florida a lot, i really like both but Cali seems very expensive. Anyone have any recommedations for these areas or anywhere else please? I love Hawaii but that seemed too expensive too. Thanks in advance.
  2. My fiance and I were together for 14 years and broke up in January and I'm still not over it, so I'm moving 1000 miles away to Florida to "start a new life" and work and go to college and everything. In the back of my mind I feel like if I go so far away it will mean that there is no possibility of my ex ever coming back in the future, even though he's been dating his coworker since he left. He also told me not to go because I'd hate it and that's playing over and over in my mind. I'm having a really hard time with the anxiety of moving forward and starting over especially so far away. Any advice would be really helpful!
  3. well me and my boyfriend live in two different states, he's in Florida going to school and im in South Carolina. We've been going together for awhile now. WE met online 5 years ago, 2 years later started talking on the phone, and we just met up last june. We only get to see eachother every 3 to 5 months for a couple of days. Well ive been here in florida with him a week Sunday and i have to drive back home Saturday morning. I hate doing this because it hurts more and more everytime we have to leave each other and i end up heartbroken and crying, alone in my bed for like 2 days. sometimes even more. We have about a year and a half before we get to move in together but i dont think i can keep taking this. This long - distance thing is killing me slowly and my heart is aching. We dont get to see each other holidays because he works(seasonal) and when he's not working hes in school. I just hate having to miss him so much and it hurts. Its going to be a long ride back to South Carolina and he doesnt want me to cry in front of him again but i dont think i can help but to. I dont know what to do and breaking up isnt an option. I dont know if its that i need advice or i just lack an exciting life. Does someone have any GOOD advice on this?
  4. So by now everyone is aware of the deadliest hurricane to ever hit North America, Hurricane Irma (cat 5 and if there were cat 6's it would probably be recorded as a cat 6 as winds in excess of 200 mph in some areas!). Ten dead on the Caribbean Islands. Scheduled to hit south Florida late Friday/early Saturday as a cat 5 (winds 185 mph). Mandatory evacuations underway from Florida to the Carolinas, hope everyone makes it out safely!! Two more hurricanes in the Atlantic looming - Jose and newly-formed Katia. As if that's not bad enough, dozens of raging wildfires sweeping California, the fire raging in Los Angeles (near Burbank) has been recorded as the largest fire in Los Angeles history. My brother lives in Redondo Beach, approx. 30 miles south. / So what the heck is going on? Any ideas? Global warming maybe? Again, hope everyone makes it out safely! Scary stuff.
  5. I am not remembering anything really to what I'm doing. I'm almost 30 no place of my own and seems I just do whatever even if it is a dumb idea. I feel bad because I'm always reaching out but I know there is something not quit right. Just came to Florida on a whim always looking to get bailed out. Seems my life has already passed by all family is doing their own thing and I'm the one that was living a lie. This is hard to put into words. I just can't seem to create a life.
  6. So on Christmas I broke up with a boyfriend I had for almost 12 years. I started dating a week later and I am still with the new guy. I’m from NJ. I live in the same town I was born in. I am currently on vacation in Florida with my new boyfriend. We have been talking about moving to Florida. To the Clearwater, Tampa area. I am between jobs, I don’t like the cold winters and I would just like the chance to start over new somewhere. My entire life was wrapped up in my ex and now that its over I just want a restart. Is this a crazy idea? Will I regret it? I’ve looked on line at houses and see a few I like. I have enough money to hold us over until I get a job. How many people on here started over in a new state? I’m turning 50 this year. I would love to hear some success stories
  7. I've been writing some poems lately to help cope. You can see my story in the thread "broken long winded post". Thought maybe sharing would help some of you Plus i'll take the constructive criticism. If you want to know any of the meaning just ask : ) fibers, cells, nerves, and capillaries,all hands on deck i wish to sink the ship full of the memories id like to forget i can still see your body curves and all where you lay in the cocoon of cotton where we shared each other underneath your sheets i can still hear the clicking of the blinds against their frame i can taste every inch, i often envision the candle lit shower scenes freckles form upon the ridge of your nose, spotting your cheeks your hair accross your face as the Florida wind blows. Your smile and your laughter make the sun burn brighter for me calluses line the top of the palm of my hand pressed gently against your thigh your breath on my neck keeps me warm beneath the ceiling fan as our blood rushes through veins, eyes are wide the floor becomes mosaic and the pillows become the clouds: we hide if only you'd let me stay here in your arms deep inside echoes of giggles, echoes of moans a wall plastered with photographs no longer make this my room will you think of me when the first flake falls? will God bring opportunity for us to be entangled once more? i would take you fresh from slumber; no decoration upon your face hair pulled tightly back with a few strands out of place a wrinkled t shirt far too big and colors faded away; lost in a whirling spin much like you and me they say "distance makes the heart grow fonder" but too far a dare i find terrifying "better to have love than lost" is the cheapest form of lying a sucker i remain for even the simplest things traits overlooked by many were the first qualities i would see A hike through the past, a climb through your eyes; forest green lead me to a furry companion embodied this critter and I stay in the depths of your soul; a stranger to me now, still deep as a ravine i suppose this could be a means to an end, and end that has already began i thought I'd be in a different place when and if this inevitable Armageddon decided to strike and hit fore i wish to spend one more night with thee i wish to encapsulate both hips with my arms fly up to heaven as i drop down beneath thy knees the light you've lit and presented to me burns distant the moths enslaved by it now fly free like a serpent of sea, i stay here just me washing others away so selfishly, for now myself and I alone we must be
  8. Hello, I am 18 and currently in my second year of online college. The college is a well-respected school, not some for-profit scam school like Phoenix, Devry, or Capella. The problem is I am experiencing a lot of issues. No, it is not me just being lazy and not putting in effort. These issues are with the actual staff and interface itself. My student advisor is very absent a lot of the time. If I send her an email, she will not reply for at least a week and when she does reply it does not directly answer my question. I am taking 2 classes this term (semesters are split into terms rather than just one continuous semester) and will be taking 2 classes the next term, for a total of 12 credit hours. So far, I have not had a wink of support from ANY of my professors. I email them with questions I may come across and like my advisor, they take eons to answer. The answers I do recieve are very rude and basically contain a "figure it out yourself" kind of attitude. I am not looking to be babied. I know this is college and they're there to prepare me for the real world but my questions are actually very legitimate questions. The interface we use for the e-classroom is always buggy and has loads of problems. For example, one assignment I needed to do required me to submit it to Turnitin after completion. The Turnitin portal in the classroom was not configured by the professor so I had emailed him. No response. This was due Saturday and guess what happened? He graded my assignment a 0 because I did not submit it to Turnitin. How the hell am I supposed to submit to Turnitin if you did not configure the damn setup or answer your email?? I just sent him an email giving him a piece of my mind. I did the work and I deserve credit!! I had a perfect A in that class and now I have a B. Anyways, these are just examples of why I wanna transfer. I have several options of where I can transfer. I live in NJ and my boyfriend lives in Florida so naturally, I am gonna wanna transfer to Florida. Not only because of him though. I hate being up north and I have been to Florida many times. It is lovely!! I just gotta find out where I wanna transfer to. He lives in Tampa so I was considering USF but at the rate these grades are coming in, I don't even know if they'd accept me. I have a 3.57 GPA currently. All because of my professors being grade robots rather than teachers who should actually support their students. The school I am going to now is based in Florida but definitely I am not transferring there after all this nonsense that's been occurring. I was looking into several schools in Miami which have low requirements. Miami is a nice city and has nice weather, also has a lot of nightlife. I am considering transferring to one of those Miami schools but I'm not sure what I should do yet. I have a great job as a freelancer working remotely so money isn't an issue since my job will follow me anywhere. I just don't wanna end up making a decision that I would reget since I don't know if I'd be allowed to transfer twice if I don't like the school I transfer to. So what should I do? Should I try to transfer now or wait until I bring my grades up so I can go to USF? Thanks for your help!
  9. So my man of 1 year, to whom which I was engaged to cheated on me and abandoned our relationship for the other women, he then came back after some weeks and asked me to move to florida with him, I did, once in Florida the conatct between him and this women lingered, I fought hard with him in order to get it to stop, then she came to florida he told me nothing of this. Then He left me again, this time in florida, I was nto working at the time and obviously I didnt know anyone nor did I have any money. But I found a way. In the midst of this he was very mean and nasty toward me and so many other things, this is the short version. Now you guessed it he wants to come back to me. What do I do? Dating in florida has sucked, I hate being out here alone, and I could use some support? What do I do people?
  10. I am 17 years old, Male, High school senior, dating a sophomore. Well I have been posting here for a bit (pretty much since I started dating my current GF). Well my problem is that for the past 3 months we have been dating its like she is always asking me to go out. I have talked to her multiple times about it, like "Does it bother you I don't ask you out to dinner and to go places" and stuff like that. She always responds that it doesn't bother her.... then the worst words... "That Much"......... AGh I hate it when people say this... anywho. I feel like I am not being a good boyfriend. I feel like there is something else I have to do. I am not certain exactly what to do. Like, I wanna do romantic stuff, but I feel weird sometimes doing things. I feel like I need to fullfill this to her, to make her "want" me more. Not sexually, just like always eager to see me and stuff. I like that giddy feeling she gets on those special days (valentines). I have really bad memory and I always have trouble finding things to do on the weekends. So I guess what my questions are... are: How should I plan a good date thats fun and stuff? (even tho we are dating lol) Like whats something cool to do like artistic, or something that will make her be like, whoa I can't believe we did that? (I live in Florida btw) This is mainly for the ladies... What turns you ladies on? simply... (she says my abs... but I have to have my shirt off) How can I be dominant I guess through a date/dinner? I feel like I am always the one smiling and nodding.... I am not shy at all tho... lol Any suggestions would be great.
  11. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year. We were teenage sweethearts, loved each other very much. I lived in Vermont, she in Florida and she visited fairly often. After she went off to college she called me one day and said it was over. I had never experienced pain like that. As time went on, we started to keep in touch, we both felt that no matter what, we had each other’s backs. Fast forward a few years, I found someone else and I got married, had 2 great boys, but we still stayed in touch every year or so....just to see how each other was doing. Our conversations were benign, but I do admit to reminiscing with her on occasion, about how strongly we felt for each other. My marriage started to fall apart (I won’t go into that now) and I started to wish that I could’ve made it work with my teenage sweetheart. Deep down I always loved her, and wanted nothing but happiness for her. I decided to contact her due to a bad hurricane heading for Florida. I knew she was in a long-term relationship with a man but I had to know if she still felt the way I felt. It was her idea to meet up and see if we still had chemistry...(I realize that still being married with kids and her being in a long term relationship makes us bad people but we had to know) we met up in Boston for the weekend, and that spark was immense and immediate. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. We decided to see each other again, I started divorce proceedings but when it came time for her to break up with her ex....there was a snag. She couldn’t do it. Wether out of guilt, love, or something else, she kept putting it off. We would wait until he went to bed every night and we would talk on the phone into the wee hours of the morning. I kept asking her to break it off and she would reply “you don’t know what this is like (ummmm, yeah, I did...divorce...hello?!). After 3 months I told her she can’t have us both and she needs to make a decision. The following day she called me crying hysterically saying “I can’t believe you forced me to do this! I never wanted to break up with him!!!” I wanted to flip out, but I held my tongue. After he moved out, she told me they stopped talking. A week later, she slipped and I figured out they were still talking. I was very upset, not about them talking, but about the lie. This happened twice more but it was time for her to move here. She arrived and she was absolutely miserable. She cried at least 3 to 4 times a week about how she missed home and missed her family. About a month later I found out that she was talking to her ex again. I was extremely angry. After discussing it at length and telling her that I felt betrayed and lied to, She swore to me that she would not talk to him again. About a month later I found out that she was still talking to him because her phone was at receiving text messages late at night. When I confronted her about it she admitted that it was him again. She once again swore to me that she would not talk to him again. Last w she swore to me that she would not talk to him again. About a month later I found out that she was still talking to him because her phone was receiving text messages late at night. When I confronted her about it she admitted that it was him again. She once again swore to me that she would not talk to him again. A month ago she planned a trip to Florida to see one of her doctors and to see her family. Two weeks later the text messages start coming again late at night 11:30 PM 12 PM etc. when I ask her who is texting you at 12 o’clock she didn’t answer. The text kept coming and I asked her again and once again she ignored the question. The third time I asked who is texting you at 12:30 at night? Nobody? She replied Yep, nobody. This was a slap in my face as we both knew who was texting her. My dilemma now is she claims she gave everything up to move from Florida to New Hampshire to be with me and now she’s planning tomorrow to fly down to Florida for four days. I feel like a complete fool and I feel like my hearts been trampled on and she insist that I am not putting the effort into the relationship because I don’t trust her. She says that she’s not pursuing a relationship with him , My reply is always if you’re not pursuing a relationship then why is it a big secret? Should I believe her? She did give up a lot to be with me but I feel like she’s keeping her options open in case things don’t work out with me please help. ....Broken Hearted in New Hampshire.
  12. My father disowned me... I have never felt love by my father... He disowned me as a baby... I never got to meet him till I was 3 years old... From that point on he helped raise me with my mother... When I got older he would distance himself from me... He would yell and say horrible things to me... I noticed as a child he loved to draw so I tried drawing... Of course I wasn't good at it at the time but I just wanted to impress him and be close to him like a daughter and father relationship should be... He went into the army and than my family had to moved to Florida we told him and sent letter that we where moving to Florida and he got them cause he would send a letter back to us... My mom had e and my two siblings live with his sister while she went up Ohio to pack and move our stuff to Florida. Well during the short time I lived with her she beat me everyday and abused me... My face was black and blue, I had a busted lip and several bruises on my body... Ah end my mom came to get us from my aunt she cried when she saw me... She didn't know my aunt would do that to me. So she called my dad and told him what his sister did to me... He didn't believe her... When he came back from the army (he was in boot camp) it seemed things got worse... He treated more cruel than ever before... It seemed like nothing was happy... He pinned my siblings against me and abused me... Soon the army dishonor discharged him cause he wouldn't go to work all he wanted to do was do drugs... My mother would go to work to support us... My father began to hit me and my brother... He even slapped my mom in the face... After years of the abuse... It felt like I was forced to love him but inside i just wanted a dad that would treat me like a daughter... When I turned 18 he packed up his stuff and left... He promised he would be back home and he would make everything better... But he lied... A year went by and I was waiting for him to come home... But he never did. He finally told us that he wasn't coming home... He ended up getting with a new woman and her children and he disowned me and my siblings... I have tried to contact him and his woman called me the N word and some very unpleasant things... I cried and cried... In my heart I just want my father to accept me and treat me with the respect I give him... It feels like my heart aches nonstop... I still cry... This is the 2 year without him...
  13. So, my ex and I decided to get back together after a month apart. Fact is, as soon as I landed in Florida he started calling and texting me ALL the time. Finally a month later I decided to fly back home. Now I've been here two weeks...and besides the online dating crap he was doing everything else is back the way it was and quite frankly I'm not happy like I thought I'd be. Leaving and going back to Florida won't be an easy task, I don't have a set place I can run too. But it needs to happen eventually. Just putting this out there for those that think you wanna get back together....sometimes letting go is the best option.
  14. It's so crazy to realize how different I am now compared to only 3 years ago. Back then, I wanted the whole Martha Stewart life- a nice place with modern furniture and decorated like a magazine cover. I pride myself in my decorating/painting skills and I managed to decorate my house for cheap. But I spent a pretty Penney on my bedroom furniture and living room furniture. I paid it all off just over a year ago. But now I'm never home to enjoy any of it. And even when I am home, it's "whatever" to me. I've done some solo traveling overseas over the past 3 years and I'm now all about living a simple life at home, shopping st GW, and just traveling as much as I possibly can. I guess you can say that I've found myself? Great! I live in a small town, same boring town that I grew up in. My place is paid off. But I'm not too happy here. I'm most happy in Florida or Chicago. But between Chicago and Florida, I've decided that Florida is best for me. I will have no problems selling my condo here in my hometown. I cannot rent it or do Airbnb because of the strict bylaws. I'd sell it and at least break even, and then take my money and downsize to a smaller condo in Florida without taking a mortgage out. My plan is to make this happen by Spring 2018. I've been looking online and there are plenty of condos in Florida within my budget, but they are truly very small. Which is fine, I want cozy. but I'm having a hard time with the idea of letting my big bedroom outfit go. I spent 5k on it alone just 3 years ago. I'm sure I could sell it on Craigslist, but I won't get much for it. I can't bring it with me because it's just too big!! It won't fit in a small bedroom. The bedrooms are small that I've been looking at. but when I think about selling it, it upsets me because that's a lot of money down the drain. I feel like it would be easier for me to let go if I owned it for a few more years. I can stay in my condo for a few more years and just keep saving and travel when I'm able to, get some pleasure from it when I'm home, and THEN sell it in CL. It is an option and not such a bad idea to just stay here for a few more. But I'm not sure it's wort it! How can I detach myself from this furniture!
  15. I've started to look at apartments. Several years, and two kids later. With tax refunds on the horizon and the most stable and well-paying job I've ever had, I know this is the best shot I'll have for at least another year of moving out successfully. He slapped me again a week or two ago. Being a fan of classic black and white movies, I have to admit that when he's nice I manage to convince myself that the slapping wasn't such a big deal. But I've been doing this long enough to know that it is more than that. Not to mention that its not the worst its gotten. I don't know. I just need encouragement. I need to push past this feeling of self-doubt and guilt about leaving him. I need to feel like I'm doing the right thing, not to just know it. Does that make sense? I'm not an idiot, and I know if I were to stay (and I can't) that I'd end up dying a little more. That I will not be able to have a night out with him without fighting. That I'll have to walk on eggshells when we talk. That I'll end up in more debt, and my credit will get worse. I know these things, but he knows me. He knows how and when to make it evident that he is helpful to me. That life is also easier much of the time with him. Yes, he is my abuser, but he's also been the only person I have to vent to for years. When I run into trouble, my natural instinct is to call him. If something funny happens, I reach for the phone... to call him. Whether the boys are well or sick, he's there for them entirely. I've been looking at apartments, which seem to require that I make 3x the rent monthly (which btw rent in Florida is crazy. I don't make three times 1,300 to pay for the 2 BR I Bath apartment I need). I've been thinking about childcare. I've been preparing my accounts, and doing all of this secretly while smiling during conversation when I'm home. I feel like an , and its not fair because if it weren't for HIS abuse I wouldn't even feel like I need to uproot my life. But I have to do it now. I NEED to do it now. Just venting. Thanks.
  16. A girl at work has made multiple racist remarks and has been complained on multiple times for it and no action has been taken. Today I asked a question to coworkers in Florida involving the hurricane (due to the fact that my boyfriend's phone is broken and his family in Florida have no way of getting ahold of him) in a group chat. I simply said I was asking the people who were actually there... come to find out tomorrow I will be getting called into HR for that comment... why is her blatant racism ok and defended but my slightly off comment is being punished?
  17. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He was in the military and I dropped out of nursing school, and left my life to go to Alaska where he was stationed so that I could be with him. We are both from Pennsylvania but I was living in Florida at the time that I moved. Our agreement was that after he was out of the military, we would move back to florida (where my family was) because my dad had a job for him and it was just an overall better life for us than the little town we are from in PA. Oct of 2017 we found out he was getting med boarded because of an injury, and he also found out that his mother was leaving his father. It was like a switch flipped. He wanted to go back to PA and that was it. No talking about it, no compromise, no nothing. He was having a breakdown and I could see it from a mile away. We managed to work through that, after a few days of me staying at a friends house close-by. He was able to think things through and realized what was important, and he said it was me. Fast forward to now February and it's happened again, only this time, he said he loved Florida since he's been here, NEVER complained since we've been here. Had a job, we were saving so much money, we went out and had a good time on the weekends, went to a lot of sporting events ect. everything that you would think would make someone happy. But obviously he is not. He went for a short trip to PA to visit his grandma who was in the hospital for a brief time and when he came back, he literally packed his car and left me. No warning, no nothing. Just a lot of tears and him saying that he needed to find his "happiness" again and wanted to go and be by his family. He said he still wanted to work on things, but I did't even know things had to be worked on. Things seemed to wonderful. His cousin and her boyfriend even moved down here around the same time we did, in hopes they'd live a better life down here also. I know it's not another girl, i know he isn't cheating.. yet anyway. I just don't know what to do. my heart is broken. should I have offered to go with him, is it fair he just left me here??? I am his wife, shouldn't i be more important to him than being in close distance to his family?? We ARE young 23 and 24 but I still don't see that as an excuse. I feel as though all he wants to do is drink, chew, curse and live the country life like his family. Everyone is telling me i deserve better and to let him go but i just can't. I love him with all of my heart. I feel as though these feelings will never get better. I cry and have a meltdown every 5 seconds and although I shouldn't be texting or calling him, he's the only one i want to talk to when I am sad. And he rarely answers. I just don't know what to do at this point. Heartbreak is brutal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Ive never been in so much pain.
  18. So, I met this girl about two weeks ago at a bar, we connected fairly well. We chatted and went to the movies last week, and had a good time, and both enjoy eachothers company. I come to find out, she goes to school in Florida, 2000 miles from me. Figures, I meet a nice girl and she goes to school FAR away. She lives in a neighboring town though. She’s a junior, with one year left at school. I’m out of a four year relationship about 4 months ago, and its nice to know that there are caring girls out there. She went back to school yesterday, and had called and texted a few times since she has been down there. I know we aren’t really anything, but she really wants to hang out when she comes home in a few months, and will be home for like four months or so. I feel like I’m stuck in a weird situation.. I know she is going to do whatever, and that doesn’t bother me. Just stinks because we both started to care about eachother.. Here’s the thing though.. I don’t want to end up in the friend zone.. as in, unable to get out.. we have kissed, etc.. but I just don’t want to get stuck in that hell. She has requested I visit. What a weird situation.
  19. About 4 months ago an ex boyfriend called me, he and I had a long and complicated relationship on and off again for years. We started dating as teens and he was also dating his now ex-wife at the same time. He went back and forth between she and I for years. He eventually married her. We haven't spoken since I moved out of state 15 years ago he's in NY and I am in Florida. I never married and partly because he was the "one" I was always in love with him and no one else measured up. In our first conversation he told me he has a progressive illness that isn't curable but he is okay so far, he has some symptoms and complications. He is also in the middle of a divorce. I asked him if there was a chance he'd reunite with his wife or if he was seeing anyone else and he said no. I told him right then and there I wouldn't be in a ping pong relationship with him again. He said there was no one else. We continued to talk and video chat several times a week for several weeks and then I had to go home for a family matter and we decided to see each other. We got together one night but it was cut short because he got sick, he ended up in the hospital the entire weekend but he kept in contact with me through text messages. He had gotten an infection from a procedure he had due to his illness and he was also put on new medications. However we both agreed that we had an amazing time together that one night. We continued to talk a lot more probably every other day or so. We were supposed to talk the Sunday before Valentine's Day but he texted me that he couldn't call because he was ER and he texted when he was released that same night but I didn't know what was happening and I didn't hear from him for several days and many texts went unanswered. The day before Valentine's Day, I don't know why but I decided to check if he was on dating sites and I did find him on Plenty Of Fish and Match.com. Then I realized he would be notified that I looked at his profile on POF so I had to come clean. It was Valentine's Day morning and I texted him he was upset saying that I was spying on him, he said that when he was first separated he did join those sites but hadn't met anyone on there and it was only me he was interested in. We talked that evening and talked about what we both wanted, he doesn't want a commitment or serious relationship right now, he is just getting out of a long marriage and wants time to sort out his new life. (His wife left him because she couldn't deal with his illness and cheated on him and left him for someone else) I told him I understood but that I would give him time but I wanted to see where this could go, and he agreed. We talked about our distance and he wasn't concerned about it said that we will see each other we will make a point of getting together. He told me he would give anything if he and I could be celebrating Valentine's Day together, we decided that next Valentine's Day we will make a point to be together. He kept reassuring me over and over that he hasn't dated anyone else and that I was it. After that things between us became intense, we talked every day and he even wanted me to meet him half way between NY and Florida for a long weekend, I couldn't make it on short notice but he was planning to come to Florida in late March so we would see each other than. He was scheduled to have a biopsy in early March and he called me for a week straight before the procedure, he was so into me physically but also during this time I was checking Match.com because they show status activity and he was active on match, I know that just checking an email can trigger online status but it concerned me. I didn't hear from him for 4 days after the procedure, he had just gotten out of the hospital, it was supposed to be overnight stay but they kept him for the weekend. He had also decided that he didn't want to come to Florida in March because it was spring break so we had decided to meet in NC instead. When we talked after the medical procedure he decided on the week in March we would meet and I booked my flight. He also works in a profession that requires him to work round the clock during winter storms. So we didn't speak as much as we used to because he was working a lot during the snow storms in the North East in early and mid March. His mother is also very ill and has been in and out of the hospital and he had to finally put her in a nursing home and has been busy with making the arrangements for that as well as going through a very nasty divorce. I didn't hear from him for the entire week up until we were meeting in NC, he was going down ahead of me because he wanted to spend a few days with his family that lives down there. I finally had to text him and ask him if we were still meeting because I heard nothing from him. He was shocked that I was concerned and he said if I don't hear from him that means nothing has changed. We met in NC and had a wonderful time, we reconnected and we did a lot of just sitting on a bench and talking for hours, he confides in me and has since we started talking again, he shares his fears and worries about his illness and how the divorce is effecting his kids, we have heart to heart conversations that are deeply emotional. We connected physically and emotionally during that trip, we talked about taking a cruise in the fall. He will be taking early retirement from his job and he wants to live in NY in the summers and winter in a warmer state. He likes Texas and Arizona and even though he hasn't asked me if I'd move he has asked me how committed I am to staying in Florida. He wants to show me Houston since he loves that city and wants me to see it. He isn't great at texting and on the trip I realized that he isn't a big phone person, he barley has it on him and he was very open with his phone, he would look at and listen to message in front of me, he would open his texts even when I was sitting right next to him. He even gave me his laptop to bring to the hotel office because he couldn't get on WI-FI. He never left to take a call, I was more guarded with my phone than he was with his. But things have changed since the biopsy in early March, he doesn't text as much or call as much and he isn't as complimentary as he was before the procedure, he would tell me he liked my outfit or asked to see what I was wearing when we video chatted. He doesn't do that anymore but when we do talk he's the same sweet caring man, he asked how I liked NC and he said he liked it because he got to see me. He's the same when we talk as far as he confides in me and we talk about everything, he is interested in my life and what is happening with me but doesn't call as much or text and we are back to talking a few times a week. He isn't as intense as he was as far as being into me physically. Of course this coincides with his lack of match.com activity. Our trip was great and he was very much into me during the trip and I was confident he wasn't seeing anyone else but I can't shake this feeling, I don't know if I am worried about history repeating itself, he dated his ex and I casually all those years ago and then he would go back and forth between us, break up with me and go back with her etc. Then I got blindsided when he decided to break up with me and got serious with her and engaged within 6 months or if my fears are legitimate. Also I am a secret until the divorce is final, he doesn't want anything to screw up the divorce because its nasty and bitter but he says once its final we can be open that we are seeing each other. We also usually talk late at night when he goes to his bedroom, we have talked in the evenings and mornings but mostly its at night. I don't know if I should be worried there is someone else or if I am just paranoid?
  20. After looking through some of these posts, I think I may be going through a mid-life crisis. Events from the last year have caused me to have a gloomy outlook on life Background: 36 male, employed in IT, living in South Florida. I make a good income, have a decent nest egg, rent, and I'm reasonable shape. Not married, no kids. I look in the mirror and and all I see is an aging person soon to be an old man. I tend to keep to myself, I do have a friend or two I talk to. My brother was diagnosed with lung cancer almost 2 years ago. From that moment he has gone on a downward spiral and has dragged everyone else down around him. To top it off both my parents are in bad health as well. (My dad has been on deaths door more than once in the last year). I generally dont speak with my dad (I don't get along, he's a hardass), and my brother only speaks to me when needs something (money, generally) as he has lost his place, his car, and his job. He also tends to be a pathological liar, so its hard to tell which problems were caused by his health and which were caused by his own actions. I dated heavily in the last year (mostly online dating) and had many dates but nothing that could lead to marraige (The dating market in South Florida is tough.) The last girl I dated (who I was very interersted in) asked me to take her to disney and then droppped me 2 days later, and then told me she was suffering from depression and couldn't continue. She then blocked me out completely. Needless to say right now I am hesitating to start this process over again. With some negative feedback I recevied with my car (from women....an old honda) I ended up buying a nicer car and now regret the purchase. As for my job, it feels like its the same thing, over and over again. I see younger people come in (who do it better and faster) and are unburdened by past knowledge which is no longer relevant. I see incompetent individuals being promoted, making a mess, and then moving on to bigger and better things. I see men and women my age (or slightly older) who are climbing the corporate ladder, friends in construction who are making huge money, and I'm still a code monkey. I don't know how I can keep doing this another 20-30 years without going crazy. I broke my wrist 4 months ago in martial arts class (needed surgery). Beyond the injury itself (I've never had a serious injury before) I noticed peoples behavior around me change dramatically. People who were normally friendly began antagonizing me. The girl I was dating started giving me the cold shoulder. It was quite surreal to see how people around me altered their attitude towards me, even family. I still don't understand why. In theory, nothing is holding me back....in practice: 1. I'm going to feel guilty leaving where I am as I'm near sick family who may need my help. 2. I'm surrounded by the south florida "hook-up culture". At 36, it is getting harder and harder to find someone who doesn't have a past (and who wants kids). I think I'm going to have to accept being with someone who has kids from a previous relationship/marriage (this was always a deal-breaker for me). Now it seems like the only way to avoid being alone permanently. 3. I have issues with spending money, and I can see how people can see my behavior as being cheap. (I grew up in an environment of scarcity, so it does tend to cloud my view of money and spending.) 4. I tend to be very risk averse, so that works against me, both in dating and risk-taking (money, business, etc) It seems the older you get the harder it is to change. For those of you who have had these feelings, what lessons did you learn looking back after it was over? What did you do? Did you break through your issues and change yourself? Or did you learn to accept your place (or your "lot") in life?
  21. Please remember the people who died in Orlando and their families.
  22. Ive being going out with my boyfriend Trevor for a very long time now. Well he lives in Florida and i live in South Carolina. We get to see each other like every 3 months or so. When we're together we never argue or anything its just blistful happiness and pure love but after we leave each other it seems we start arguing over little things. Especially around test time for him because he goes to college in Florida. I love him more than anything in the world and breaking up is never an option. im just not use to being in a LDR this long and its harder than i thought it to be and it gets even harder with every visit. I just need some HELPFUL and non-criticizing advice.
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