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flower99

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Everything posted by flower99

  1. flower99
    well, from the looks of this, he doesn't understand & you don't trust. I dont think there is a way to fix this. His job alone makes you uneasy let alone his history of being a cheater. Honestly I think you can't trust him, because your gut is telling you not to. FOR GOOD REASONS. Instead of trying to rebuild with a man with a history of being a cheater (even with women he's made vows to...Huge RED FLAG) Why not start fresh with a different man, one with a better track record.
  2. flower99
    I Agree with n83 & It'sallgrand If you're her bestfriend & you're seeing signs...talk her to her. Take her out for a fun day & ask her how she's been. How things with P are & how he's been treating her. I went through this when I was pregnant. He treated me terribly & had a temper. I wanted to reach out to someone or someone reach out to me. I don't know, I guess no one wanted to get involved cause it is risky. But I needed a friend to understand & give me support & make me feel beautiful. Cause i wasn't getting it from him. And it appears O isn't getting that from P either. Be that friend to her, support her & stay by her side no matter what. Cause if things do progress, she'll need your help. It's not the weed. Weed doesn't do that. Probably not the stress either. I'm thinking just sides of him that hadn't been shown
  3. flower99
    Just so we can help & give better advice. What is it you want to proceed doing? proceed building a friendship? a relationship? or cut off contact with her?
  4. flower99
    Well I'm not sure what's keeping you apart from them. Is it your work schedule? School? or just different lives now? Call up your friends & book a night off work so you & spend an evening with the friends getting a drink & catching up. The more you separate from the parents and begin to live your own life, the more you will realize that you grow apart from some friends. The ones worth keeping, you'll have to work to keep (set aside time for them) because just like everything, if you don't maintain it, it will fall apart.
  5. flower99
    Wow I am so sorry that you are going through this. Has he loved you at all??? I would say YES he loves you...I'm sure he does, But just not enough to KNOW that you are the one for him & to be willing to let go of the other life he wants. You deserve a deeper more real love than that!! I agree, How can you Not be certain after 8 years....I think the simple fact that he is uncertain...after 8years (by this point he should know you inside & out) tells you he's not the one. 8 years is a long time. You either know or you don't by this point. And he doesn't. Question for you...how much longer are you willing to wait to find out?? Are you at the point were you are ready to be married & start a family? If so, are you ready to find a man that wants the same things as you??
  6. flower99
    no you're not being stupid. you're human. You possible feel insecure, because you feel threatend by thier relationship, the closness of the friendship. BUT remember, she sees him only as a friend, if she wanted to be with him, she would have. So what you two have is far greater. Your friendship is deeper, it stems into a relationship that even when separated couldn't keep you two apart..she came back to you....That's love.
  7. flower99
    experimenting is part of life. We may not want it for our children, but they are bound to do so. whether it is thier sexuality they experiment with, drugs, crime...ect. it's how we learn. how we find out for ourselves what truly brings happiness & what brings emptiness. Being a christian mother, turn to God right now. Seek his wisdom & guidence on how to handle this. And pray for his peace that surpasses our understanding. And trust that God is still caring for, protecting & loving your son
  8. flower99
    You are beautiful...special...unique....it's wonderful you see it Never forget it!!!!!
  9. flower99
    PERFECTLY SAID!!!!! every word of this speaks truth!
  10. flower99
    I'm not sure what comfort I can bring, but I wanted to let you know...this MAY not mean he's gay. I'm 24, I have a guy friend of mine who is straight. But he once told me that he's 'touched & played with guys before when he was 14' he told me that most guys have, it means nothing just experimenting. But whatever you do, remain calm & casual when talking to him. Bella gives great advice (:
  11. flower99
    give the glory to God! you've been blessed so that you can bless others you're doing well at it.....Keep it up!
  12. flower99
    p.s I have to say, you are really mature about the way your handling this. And the way you care so much for him & what's good for him. You sound like a wonderful person. I believe that if you continue the path you are on, growing developing, learning about yourself, persueing your dreams.....this may work itself out perfectly & you two come together again at the right time. But always be prepared & ready incase something changes that is out of your control.
  13. flower99
    Well no one can be 'perfect' we all have something, just a little off (: Yeah I'm going with unique!!!!! like you said you have lots of friends, in great shape, and have a pretty cool personality. so this makes you unique, not a freak
  14. flower99
    "I have learned more about myself in these six months than I ever thought was possible. I have achieved so much and learned to love me for me." This is awesome, you are on the right track! now if you've done this much in 6 months imagine what you can do with yourself with another 6 months. You need to focus on yourself, continue to get your life in order. Get working in that field you love & keep on growing. "But how can I get my ex to get over his fears of our painful but loving past?" You can't get your ex to do or get over anything. That is for him to do himself if & when he's ready. His fears are his battle to fight. It's possible that in time he may find himself & see the changes in you & himself and be ready to try again. BUT you have to prepare yourself for if that doesn't happen. You have to get over your fear of you two not ending up together. (because right now it's a 50 - 50) He is trying to disconnect himself with the 'talking himself out of loving you'. And that is a good choice for you to start doing too. Start prepareing your mind & heart for that fear by doing the same. I recommend stop having sex. You can't disconnect when you are intimite. Men are much more capable of that than women. But continue to use this time to grow & develope yourself. That will benefit both of you. And prepare you for whatever the future brings you, whether it's back together or different direction. You've see all you've become in 6 months so continue to grow & begin letting go, as he is. When you are ready to live without him, maybe the time he realizes he can't live without you. Use this time to your advantage. I wish you happiness...you'll be okay.
  15. flower99
    Illusion: something that deceives by producing a false or misleading impression of reality no I wouldn't want that!!! It's misleading, while one is are falling in love - the other is faking it & going through the motions. One days she will realize she's in love & she's been mislead. And the pain will be far greater than accepting the truth now. I'm guessing the individual wants something real, don't we all. Not just an illusion, because reality kicks in at some point.
  16. flower99
    i prefer surprise proposal....and shop together for the wedding ring. But do get an idea of the ring she likes...try to be suttle (my finacee wasn't, so I saw the proposal coming a mile away...but it was still beautiful & I was surprise by way he did it)
  17. flower99
    you would have helped if she asked right??? so what did you do wrong??? Yes you could have offered, but she could have asked as well. It sounds like a lack of communication that's all. I don't think you screwed up, she shouldn't be angry with you. Just next time offer if you think she could use the help. And let her know to ask you next time and you would have been there for her. That's what friends are there for.
  18. flower99
    congratulations!!!! enjoy your new man (: have a good new year
  19. flower99
    I fully agree with this. I would not send this. it does sound needy.
  20. flower99
    I am answering these questions Assuming I'm officially dating & not just seeing someone. am I still looking out for a better guy, when dating 3 months? No, Not looking for a better guy. If I was, than I wouldn't be dating. Open to other dates? No....wouldn't that be cheating? unless we are only seeing eachother the answer is definietly NO. The only way I would spend a lot of alone time with another man would be if he was a good, long time friend, or a relative. If your girlfriend is accepting dates from other men, and spending a lot of quality alone time with another man...I would question her movitives & doubt her faithfullness...basically I would NOT continue to date her. If she's still looking, than maybe you should to.
  21. flower99
    Agree, I usually love the least, but when I feel I love more & he less...I pull back (afriad of being vunerable) And it always seems he comes to me. Maybe that's how to find the middle??? when you both can pull back at times & the other meets you there. does that make sense...maybe I'm just blabing now.....lol
  22. flower99
    off topic, I saw your picture & you are stunning...incredibly gorgeous. I can't believe you feel like you have to measure up at all! Anything you do, do for yourself. Don't do it to meet someones standards. If you feel like you are doing that, get out of the relationship. find someone who loves you for you! who adores you & cherishes you regardless of your apperance...whether your 100 pounds or 200. Someone who believes beauty comes from the inside, that is a man worth keeping.
  23. flower99
    I totally agree & because he's priorities are on looks. I'd run!!!! His love is conditional & you may always feel pressure from him to be & look a certain way. He puts to much importance on the unimportant & not enough on what is important (you said he was not driven in a career..but puts so much emphasis on physical apperance?? seems backwards) I would RUN!!!
  24. flower99
    Don't be ashamed of this. I know it must be hard to admit, to your mom, but she loves you & wants the best for you. It's affecting your body & mind as much as it is. You NEED to talk to someone. Maybe your mom. Or maybe your physchology teacher. Tell him that you think you are obsessed & was wondering if he could help. If he agrees, open up to him. That is what he's there for. And I'm sure he hears weirder stuff everyday. I wish I had better words for you...But I really wish you happiness.
  25. flower99
    Ahhh...yes Love with conditions so if you get fat, he won't want you. If you get in a serious car accident & end up disfigured for life...He won't stay by your side because you will no longer meet his standards. That's scarey!! if you truly believe he's Shallow Hal (which he doesn't appear to be) And you don't want to marry someone like that. Get out now. Conditional love & physical standards you must meet...Find something deeper, because that's not true love.
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