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  1. Hey Jay Houston... I understand what you mean. I was rather meaning: would you be able to care less about looking for a partner even if you had the greatest confidence on earth?
  2. "As far as men go, it is not what they are that interests me, but what they can become." Jean-Paul Sartre "Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." Mother Theresa of Calcutta "A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset." J.G. Cozzens "We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach." Bertrand Russell "One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying." Unsourced "Whoever has the luck to be born a character can laugh even at death. Because a character will never die! A man will die, a writer, the instrument of creation: but what he has created will never die!" Luigi Pirandello "Eternity gives nothing back of what one leaves out of the minutes." Friedrich Schiller "It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people." Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman "Good Omens" "Maybe it's all part of a great big ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you've built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can't be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don't bother to answer. If we could understand, we wouldn't be us." Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman "Good Omens"
  3. While I was thinking about it, did you notice that in many oriental cultures celibacy (not in the sense of priesthood, but just abstaining from the life of love and sex) is regarded as a natural way of spiritual enhancement, meditation and concentration? Are we (mostly westeners here I guess) missing out on something unknown for being guided - and socially trained to be guided - by Desire?
  4. Hey, I was being more curious on the topic and found an entry that addresses exactly what was discussed about here... (psychological egoism) Hope you enjoy it link removed
  5. And Batya, have you discovered new things (new interests, new personal inclinations, etc.) during your life in the career? (i.e. after you started working)
  6. And what do you do in your freedom days? (if I may ask)
  7. I'm asking especially those who are in careers or are typically very busy and organize their daily lives with schedules. Preferably, I would appreciate the opinion of people in corporate environments but not only. Do you ever feel as if you lack the freedom of discovering new things (passions, opportunities, artistic and cultural interests) spontaneously, i.e. "by chance"... since you always have to follow a routine, have to be on time, and have no liberty to "look around"? Do you sometimes feel as if your personal interests (in arts/culture/entertainment) slowly become obsolescent as you climb your career ladder? Last question: Is anyone of you in a job and engages in free-time activities that are entirely different from those typically done by your colleagues?
  8. ...and this to an extent that when someone tells me to do something that I might have done anyway, I don't do it anymore, simply because I feel that someone else imposed the idea onto me. I feel as if others are controlling me. I simply want to be original, exceed other people's expectations, and make decisions independently. Following kinds of people restrict my feelings of SELF-growth: - parents - friends - ... - anyone who tells me what I should do, or what I'm supposed to do. I'm not stubborn, I'm obviously open to feedback... but I prefer to evaluate things by myself. I don't like when others put their finger in my thinking process. I noticed that especially during periods of stress, I easily become passive and follow other people's suggestions/commands simply because they are telling. In those situations, I stop thinking actively How to be always under self control?
  9. Yes, you understood. You mean like personals? Hmm... I heard such things also happen among normal friends, colleagues, etc.? I mean not only among 3-4 of them, but the entire class or such things O_o Is this true or fiction or some adult movies?
  10. I'm asking this out of curiosity since everyone (especially older folks, in their late twenties and early thirties) talks about such things, but I never really got the opportunity to see with my own eyes whether they're true. I'm not asking whether it's "right" or "wrong", or anything in the sphere or morality. I'm simply trying to fill the gap in my knowledge... Why, where (geographically, societally), when (at which age, under which circumstances), which events, actually lead up to sexual acts/relationships that involve more than just a couple? Where I live, it's still normal to talk about "getting off with someone met at the party", but it seems totally taboo to mention or even ask about this kind of experiences. I really don't know. I only hear rumors. Thanks
  11. Life is not endless, for most of us living in the 21st century. But endless are the possibilities in which we can live it... In this very moment, I feel a bit puzzled as to where I should start and how to "organize" my next years of life. After finishing highschool and when entering university (Fall 2006), I thought that I would be able to freely explore the world, start developing some new skills, e.g. learning a new musical instrument, doing some totally new extra activities alongside the uni studies... and soon noticed that university itself required some skills in time management. But I'm slowly getting used to that. Most of my friends either hang out in their freetime ("social life" = doing nothing really special apart from studying...) or already start attending career events, looking for internships, part-time jobs, studying like hell and fervently researching everything possible regarding their future career. Although I know that university studies, career, and social networking with the people who might become my future colleagues or employers, are really important things, I feel the necessity to be "out of the ant-colony" if I want to pursue my personal life goals. I would like to learn a music instrument or maybe even do a dance course... or learning professional cooking lol - anything that I haven't done in my previous highschool-life. The drawback is that all these ambitions would be somewhat unrelated to the field I'm studying at university (economics, social sciences) and reduce my "social networking time" (since I'd be doing something totally new alongside studying for exams, etc.). And I'm worried that both factors might somehow put at stake my future career opportunities. What do you think? Where can I start? Should I even care so much about career during my first years at university? Or do you think that instead of pursuing new skills, I should focus on developing more on my old ones, since that wouldn't require much time? Any advice is appreciated! Thank you so much
  12. Why? Hmmm? Is this also a kind of "absolution" you're talking about? My personal definition of altruism is that you spontaneously do something for others out of your own initiative, without caring about the non-retribution or possible loss of this action - this doesn't mean you ignore the negative things of life happy town mentioned! This means you are fully aware of them, but still do it because according to your own reasoning it is good for the person/s you are about to help. The only "feeling" involved here is the need for precision, not self-satisfaction or personal fulfillment. It is similar to what was defined here as "martyrdom", though martyrdom can often be associated with implied sacrifice. And martyrdom can be imposed by external constraints... not something reasoned out on your own. Apparently or not - rather than personal condescendance, I think the attitude itself is trashed out. Probably due to expectation that everyone acts according to the reasons that have been mentioned so far ("apparent self-lessness", absolution, etc.).
  13. Although I know that very few ordinary people can be really altruistic... I know that even the few who try to do so are often looked down upon by the cynics and pessimists of the world. I would like to ask you: what might be bad about being an altruist? About being spontaneously ready to help out friends (and not only friends!), from easy to risky issues, without caring nor expecting anything "in return"? Or, rather than being something "bad", do you think the problem is that they are easily preyed upon, they are easy targets of those who really care only about themselves and their own issues? Just wanted to exchange some thoughts on this...
  14. Many careers emphasize the need of "social skills", but I'm not sure whether there's a special meaning to the otherwise harmless expression "social skills" in the context of employment. Is it about being able to make strategies so that you can win the faith of tactically important people, and make them turn against your "enemies"? Is it about applying things such as game theory to real life, in order to "play chess" with the lives and decisions of other people (clients, customers, other employees, etc.)? In few words I would like to ask: are these skills employers require more towards strategy or spontaneous altruism/teamwork?
  15. Errrr... Do really so many thoughts cross your mind when you have to say something to an audience? I mean: I might be wrong, but it's appears as if you're thinking more about yourself rather than focusing on the people or on the thing you are supposed to do. Maybe you (or the media, or both) have created this idea that "public speaking" is a "personal challenge" (I recently heard that at some american universities, there are even public speaking contests! Oh dear!), or some big, important event. What if, instead of thinking of it as "public speaking" or something so grossly important, you just focus on the reason you are speaking to an audience? Everything else will follow naturally! e.g. I must promote a donation initiative to the audience after a theater performance. I simply walk there, make the people hush and tell them what must be said... well obviously if you pay a bit attention to the way you speak, you might get better results for the donation But what I'm trying to suggest is: focus on the objective, not on yourself. I'll let you know when I find out... I'm not saying I'm a daredevil, but that if I found out that hard-wired, unconscious irrational fears affect me as well, I would personally chose not to care about them... or do my best not to base my decisions and actions on them. From a logical point of view of emotions though, I think that the mere fact of knowing that a certain fear is "just irrational/hardwired" should be enough to relax a person and vanquish the fear... No wonder, haha I think I can ask a few more questions here then. What would economics say if we got rid of all "commercial fears" of the world?
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