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About Me

  1. She copies the way I speak! How is that even possible!? I'm not sure If you have read my previous posts, but if you have you would know she has never liked me. In fact, I'm sure that's why my oldest sister and her started talking bad about me. I know, this sounds extremely petty, but this behavior is getting on my nerves! I am a very good writer and most of the people in my family know that, but there was one time where I brought it up and she responded with "I didn't know you were a writer!". Keep in mind she barely knew anything about it at the time. Now, she's on to copying that! She took a writing class at her college, but I shouldn't be freaking out about that. It's probably mandatory. Anyway, i have noticed that anything I do or like, she will start to like the same. I really feel like she somehow knows this is getting on my nerves. Has anyone had the same experience? Also, why is she doing this? I know that most people say it's flattering, but it gets to me. I do know for a fact that she was jealous of the time I got on honor roll. She would always say: "I wish I was smart" in a sulky way. Then the year after that she finally started busting her butt to get good grades. Before that she always slacked off. She even started trying to sound smart by using nerdy terminology for everything. I know that in the past, she was jealous of me and sometimes I still feel like she is. It's like she tries to steal everything I like and ultimately take credit for it! It annoys the crap out of me. How should I deal with this? Thanks for reading this guys The help is appreciated I hope I don't sound too much like an A hole lol! I guess I'm just upset.
  2. I have been going through a motivational slump off-late, and it hit me a few days ago when I saw how I had wasted the weekend. I text my Mom to share this with her, and my Dad chimes in and gives me a long sermon about what would help my mental woes. While it was all good, healthy stuff he was telling me, I was really not in the head space to listen to any of it and I was kind of worn out by the call. I video call my fiance and joke about how Dads are always the ones to give us the "Dad talk" when we go to them with problems. His Dad is kind of similar, and we share a couple of jokes. My fiance has always been a very humorous, laid-back, loving personality. Although we live around 1000 miles apart, we talk so much throughout the day and he always greets me so lovingly that the distance isn't as palpable. Now during this phone call, he asks me what my Dad said. I start to tell him about how my Dad suggests waking up early in the morning. He starts to make a joke alluding to how I am a late-riser, which I am. He makes a couple more jokes which I do not even remember, but by now I start to get a little miffed and I tell him "It's late, go to sleep if you are feeling sleepy." I know that's a very passive aggressive way of saying I did not want to talk. A little while later, my phone starts acting up and I explain to him what's going on how this is a recurring phenomenon. My history with poor-quality phones is kind of a running joke with him and my family, so he starts laughing and joking about this one. By now, I am really annoyed and I repeat the same line as before, and I am sure my face looks pissed, too. After that, I have basically checked out of the conversation, telling him to go to sleep. He senses this, then abruptly says good night and cuts the call and I go to bed.The whole of the next day, I decide to not text him as I am still a little angry from our previous conversation. Finally, the day after, thinking this is a silly conflict to be mad about, I message him. He says he had wanted to give me space and just let me be the previous day. I ask him if he is mad. He says he isn't, just realized he needs to be more serious about a lot of things. I notice a tonal shift later in the day when we talk. Not wanting to push this under the carpet, I open up the conversation again, admitting that while I was definitely annoyed and some of my rage may have been spawned from a bad mood, I would never want to hurt him this way. He says it's nothing to do with me and he's just reflecting on how he needs to be more serious in life in general. I do not know if this is a permanent change or a phase. I do not want to tell him how to behave, but I miss his old self. Any advice? Edit: A couple of details I forgot to mention: I apologized to him during the last conversation. I told him I fully remembered how I reacted, and I am sorry I caused this hurt and this reflection. I also told him I am not going to dictate his behavior, but humor is part of who he is, and that I do not want to be the person who caused it to wane. I repeatedly said sorry and that I should not have behaved that way. Also, in the past, I always tell him that I am either not in the mood for a joke, or that he is taking it too far. I prefer to be tactful in communication. This time, I was having a low moment and was not in the most rational frame of mind. While I was at fault, it's not a behavioral pattern.
  3. My situation might be quite weird compared to the average poster. I'm an avid gamer, it's my main hobby and it's how I spend most of my time. Through this I've had the luck of meeting an incredible girl: she's selfless, responsible, smart, we are absolutely on the same wavelength, have similar life experiences and we just connected in a beautiful way that made us fall in love. We live in different countries which, of course, makes things hard, but we call every day and try doing different things together when we both have time. Caring so much for one another, we've made plans to meet and now the big day is actually coming in less than a week. Here's the problem though: my personality, in specific my insecurities, anxiety and just being nervous overall. It's always being a part of me, I don't like it, I've tried working on it, I develop methods, but sometimes it still hits me, my mood drops very low very quickly and I still struggle to deal with this weakness of mine. These issues can sparkle from something as her meeting with male friends, or her having loads of fun and laughing a ton with someone else. Just writing I know it sounds crazy: I don't know to want to be an obsessive jealous boyfriend and I really wish I could just not worry over such things. I still get these thoughts though. I'm also close to some of my most important and possibly last university exams now and studying, preparing is taking its toll on me: I spend most of my days on books, I lost basically all hobbies and I'm quite sure it's bringing its impact on the relationship. I don't have as much to talk about, my mood tends to be lower, I'm not as energetic as I could be, … and these things lead to me not making her laugh as much as I used to, to me not being as much fun to hang out with as before (I think, she never said anything like it). So a vicious cycle develops where I don't feel like I'm taking proper care of her which leads to me fearing she might lose interest and go for other people, even male friends, that make her laugh and are in general not so heavy minded which leads to me begin worried and nervous... She's always incredibly supportive, loving and I do feel like this could be the chance of a lifetime, she's just that perfect. So I'm scared: this side of my personality has already been an issue with a previous relationship and I don't want it to happen again, I don't want to lose her. I know I should at least invest more time into myself, whether it'd be getting back more seriously into gaming (which is a shared passion too) or just any hobby that fulfills me and makes me happier, but I'm still quite lost regarding what to do and how to handle such thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I'm sorry if the post is quite generic: I'm new too this, it feels weird talking about something so private online
  4. Hi, I'm Male, sixteen and I recently had a bad fallout with a friend. For this story to make any sense I have to start from the very beginning. So I'm an only child and I live quite far away from anybody my age. I went to primary school and I was often semi-excluded because I didn't know anybody and I was smarter than everyone there. I kind of grew up to be narcissistic and competitive. For my first year of secondary school this continued although then I met this guy who I'll call X. For the first time I felt like somebody cared for me and I truly felt like over the next two years I grew a different personality. And i dont mean that my old personality developed but that a new one was actually created and that two people were living inside me. I cared about this person more than anything else in the world and I would have rather died than let them down. They were always there for me and I tried to be there for them as well . Then earlier this year around 3 months ago I had a dream where I was sleeping with X and it was amazing. I was really confused about this because I had always been straight and had never had such thoughts before. I also didn't want to develop a crush on my bff in case it would jeopardise everything I had become over the last 3 years. I tried to convince myself that a) I was simply mistaking sexual love for the strong friendship love I actually felt for him and b) I told myself he must be straight and came up with tons of reasons why he had to be. Then one day in town he asked me did I prefer the top or bottom half of a girl. I thought this was a strange question so just said " I dont know . You?" He then waited for a while before saying " I like penis" then he started laughing and said " way to make it awkward. It was a really weird conversation and thought that he must be joking so soon enough I forgot about it. Then the next week I was in town with him again with a few other friends and i started asking some general questions on sexuality such as whether there were more than 3 sexualities ( cause I thought I might be bicurious or something.) And then I said something about X pretending to be someone he is not. I said this because around me he made all these sex "jokes" but he didn't around other people. After that he stopped talking to me. I asked him why but he kept ignoring me. Eventually he told me that he had confined in me about being gay and that I had treated it as a joke. I tried to tell him that I hadn't known and I though my it was a joke but I dont think he believed me. He's been ignoring me for 2 months now and our mutual friends have all sided with him too. I really don't know what to do cause I dont want to live without him and have started to get really suicidal. I can't help but look depressed in school and I think that he thinks I'm just putting it on. I dont want to put him under pressure but I can't handle this any longer and he won't talk to me and will probably tell me to piss off if I try to talk to him. What should I do?
  5. Hello, this is my first post here and not sure in the right place. I am in my mid twenties and I have a big problem with building relashionships. I think my biggest failure is communication and low confidence. I can barely be present inside groups of people. I have always this feeling that they are better than me and that I can be forgoten in the group and not heard because I deserve it. I really feel so sorry that people do not get to see my true perdonality as I get trapped in emotions and nervous when around people. But dont get me wrong I have a good bavkground in every topic of conversations, I have a great personality to bring in, I read, I am a kind person, and I have a good career. I just font know how to show all of this in public. I am scared. Later every time I get alone I think about how much I had to talk about that topic where I barely said a word in a conversation. I also do have very low self esteem. How can I help myself? Help me guys please! Any suggestion will be welcomed! I would modtly like to work on myself by myself than seeing a councellor. Thank you!
  6. Ok, so I used to be a social butterfly, I used to be a great flirt with people whom I felt comfortable with, I used to talk to anyone and everyone about anything, I could make friends very easily and had a lot of romantic and sexual attention. Along the way I’ve become cold and introverted and socially awkward. I’ve totally lost that side of me that was so bubbling with enthusiasm to get to know someone new, I knew I would get a positive reaction to a cold approach. Times have changed since I was a vibrant outgoing teenager, people rarely make eye contact, they are stuck in their phones. What are some sensible ways to approach people I don’t know to get to know them, particularly with a view to getting numbers for friendship and dates? The best things I’ve come up with so far are commenting on someone’s outfit if I like it but that seems a bit lame. I do believe people dress in a way to show their personality and affinity with certain groups. I wear a T shirt with my favourite Marvel character on and my favourite classic car for example. How can I indicate to someone I find attractive that I am receptive to being approached, without going and blatantly asking for their number? I don’t mind starting the conversation but I am more traditionally minded and tbh I don’t have the balls to ask a guy for his number in the same way I could ask for a woman’s. Any suggestions for conversation starters and ways to indicate interest to others?
  7. I been tading my boyfriend for 2.5 yrs now. To me it seems one side relationship and what i mean by that is i am the one who tries everything to make him happy. I cant get anywhere with him and am tired of trying. I been thinking about breaking up a lot but dont know how. I am 34 yrs old and he is my only serious relationship i had. We have different personalities yet, i am not a needy woman. I am very layback active person and for the last two yrs i been watching him coming back ftom work always tired and all what he wants to do either watch TV or play video games. The house is a mess all the time and when i say something he would reply by this is his place. I dont live with him but i am in his place sll the time. He leaves mess everywhere yet when i clean up it is never clean enough for him. I really dont know what to do. I am tired of him whinning all the tired. I csll hom drama queen as he complains all the time. If we do things together which is very rare, it had to be his wsy cause he knows it all. If any tweek in the plan happens he gets pissed
  8. Hello, I thought I would post on here because I feel I can't talk to any of my friends about some of the things that have been going on and been feeling very isolated and been losing my confidence. I moved back home from university in June and in late June I received some bad news that made me feel horrendous. Living with my family has been difficult. There is a drama every other day- yesterday we had to pick up my brother from the police station because he had assaulted someone alongside other things. Every other day we are dealing with him and his constant issues. I am the youngest of 6 and feel like my personality is fading away in that house. I am too embarassed to tell freinds because I'm scared they would think what the hell? That family is crazy- they have come from well-do do stable families and hence I can't feel like I can be myself anymore with them if they hear anything that is going on at home. The other siblings-brother, sisters etc always just tell me all their problems and issues all the time and I just feel like I am here to absorb everyone's problems and I am a walking counsellor. I feel like unless I don't play that role me and them wouldn't have much to talk about at all. My mum is pretty religious and believes that god will be our saviour and tells me everything will be fine again. I feel like I am losing my identity, motivation and passion for life and feel like an empty shell inside. It's really horrible. Any advice or support would be welcome as I feel very alone right now.
  9. I'm a 29 year old man who's in an increasingly serious relationship with a wonderful 25 year old woman, we've been together for about 6 months now, with talks of moving in together before long. We spend a lot of time together, most of which is great, I can see myself living with her for the rest of my life, though one of her personality traits has me on edge and I feel like I have to be cautious. I've only been with 3 different girls, including one 7 year relationship that was smooth-sailing until the end, I've never had senseless fights before somehow, they always had a reason and in retrospect it always made sense. But with this new girl, I feel like she can spin on a dime. We'll have a great day together and then she'll misinterpret something I say, or she'll extrapolate upon something I said, or I'll give the wrong answer to a question, and as a response she'll get angry in a way that seems unwarranted and unreasonable to me. For instance, we've discussed that we want to travel a lot, it's something that we've both always wanted to do, and that I personally have never taken the time to do. I want to do it with her, and we booked a major travel trip 2 weeks from now, involving 3 cool destinations in 2 different countries over the course of 3 weeks. So last night, we're discussing our desire to break out mutual desire to break the status quo, the fact that I want to travel, that I want to get out more and do stuff I've never done before. This is great for me, I've been waiting for this all my life, someone to go on adventures with. But last night she says she worries that it won't last, that I'll fall back in my old habits, which involved a lot of gaming and staying at home when I was single. We started discussing this in some detail, and I said something regarding how there would be some times when we're kinda "stuck", when we can't travel very much for some time due to financial and other restraints. I am willing to do a lot, I have already changed my life for the better in many aspects and I feel motivated, but I know that life sometimes gives you lemons. She took what I said as some sort of surrender - essentially, she was saying: please continue to strive to accomplish things and to live. And when I said I said "yes, but...", she viewed my reservations to mean I would revert back to being a boring dude who works, plays video games and sleeps. Even after I pointed out that it's a misunderstanding and I also am motivated to change my stagnant life (which she wouldn't call that, I do), she continue to feel anxious and disappointed that I was, at least in her eyes, not willing to put effort into staying in motion. She went off to sleep upset, and in the morning she apologized. Over the last few weeks, I would say that it's just about a weekly occurrence. I will say something that is slightly out of place, or she'll misunderstand something, and all goes to hell, sometimes for 5 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours, and in the worst cases overnight and all is better in the morning. It doesn't get particularly nasty. However, in once instance it got pretty heated in a way that I find uncomfortable, when I pushed back and really insisted that she admit she was making a fuss over nothing, which was bound to make things worse. I know that fights are normal in couples, but I'm not used to them and I don't know how to manage her outbursts. I find them increasingly worrisome the more I get invested into this woman. It's disheartening to be with someone who can go from happy to pissed off over a small misunderstanding, and it makes me nervous too, like I have to watch what I say. Part of me thinks it's not too bad, maybe I should just let it happen since it's quick and nothing bad happens if I just say my piece and let her be angry alone for a few minutes, she'll usually just chill out, but for me it's very emotionally taxing and even though it's not abusive or anything abnormal (I think), it's still a personality trait that irritates me. It's pretty much the only thing about her that makes this hard, because otherwise she's delightful, smart, intellectually stimulating and amazing. So what should I do?
  10. I was wondering if you could provide me with some insight on the following. He was very interested from the very beginning; however, I was a little bit hesitant at the beginning due to our different communication styles. We had a hard time understanding each other. He is a black and white kind of personality, very straightforward in what he thinks and also very traditional, which was not something that I am accustomed to or something that I am looking for, so I wasn't certain how truly compatible we would be if we ever got into a relationship. At the same time, during our getting to know each, he mentioned that I am picky with men and how I should open my horizons and be more open to different kinds of men and not just the men that I am interested in. I don't know why he said that as I do not think like that and I never mentioned that in our conversations. More ever, whenever we would talk about that, I would try to explain to him that that is not the way it is, but he would not listen and he continued to mention that. Now, he says that he doesn't want to pursue anything because we come from opposing cultures (our cultures are not that different, but yes they are different) and how I should be with a guy from my culture and how he wants to raise his kids (we both want marriage and family) in his own culture and customs and not that he imposes those on somebody who has her own customs. What do you think about all of this? If you would like more information, please let me know if that would help you provide a better answer. I didn't want to write for too long.
  11. Will people fall in love with you after you change (personality wise)? I don't mean a woman changing herself in order to get a man who was not originally into her, into her. I am asking if a woman has some red flag issues - such as being incredibly insecure, negative and clingy. If such a woman one day transforms and become completely healthy, confident and positive by and for herself. Will this make someone who dated her before when she had issues, who found her physically attractive, likes her but not into her enough to call her gf, into her and want to be with her now? Or is it more that if that person was not in love with you at your worse, they probably won't when you become 10x more fab personality wise anymore? I know there is a multitude of factors affecting the answer. But I want to hear what you think based on your experience. r
  12. Long story short. Me and my ex ended Sunday after a long battle with each other (Together 5 months but were good friends before we were together) he had a troubled family life and underlying mental issues I think. And me? Well I've accepted I go for men who tend to have issues or are passive aggressive and struggle with their anger. I've decided I'm putting my standards up again until I find someone whose on my level. Does anyone feel like they will never find a good looking man with a compatible personality to you? I seem to attract all the wrong attention and I don't know why! I'm also struggling after this breakup, I'm very numb but then I get a feeling of sadness coming and going.
  13. So I got quite a shock this morning. My Husband, who we've been living together for 10 years and married a year ago, and I was cuddling an playing on the bed. He had his jeans on and as we were goofing around I noticed something sticking out of his pocket. I pulled it and and found a used meth pipe. My jaw dropped to the ground. For background, we don't have a major history of drug use in our relationship. Maybe some pot here and there, and I know he's done coke a long time ago when he was hanging out with some bad friends, which he no longer sees. We don't have drug using friends, we don't hang out in any drug scenes. The funny thing us Meth has ALWAYs been the disgusting drug. We've had full on conversation talking about meth, and how disgusting it is, and how people are who use meth are foul, and he had never done meth in his life. But he works in a warehouse with truckers that come by everyday to drop off cargo, and the usual warehouse employees, and there are people who use meth at his work. He said he's 'only' been doing it for 2.5 weeks because work was getting so hard and busy he couldn't keep up so he asked one of his co-workers for it. He said he's been doing everyday since. And I KNEW something was wrong!!! He's been acting weird and doing strange and erratic things and I kept asking him 'are you high?' and he's been acting like a tweeker! Like last Sunday, on his day off, he got up at the break of dawn, took my car, and LOADED it with 2 tons of trash bricks covered in mortar he found on craigslist and started dumping it in our yard. I freaked out and was like ' are you doing!!???' and we had a HUGE fight. Well find out today, that yes, he was high on meth when he did that. So he excuse of using it because of work falls through right there. He has a very very addictive personality. He was a heavy drinker basically the whole time I've known him and only recently has he stopped. His dad passed away last March and every since then he's been struggling and going down hill. I never expected him to do meth, and when I married him, I didn't sign up to be married to a meth head. I don't know what to do. He said he would stop, but how do I trust him? He's been hiding it from me for 2 weeks. And even the 2 weeks thing I don't know if I believe him on that. He's been acting funny ever since his dad died. And I even found a broken pipe in his coat pocket months ago, on a trip we had, and he said he found it on the ground and was going to show me but forgot. Like what!!?? I told him you might as well tell the whole truth and admit to how long it's been going on, but he will NOT admit to doing it longer then 2 weeks. I don't know what to do. I am completely floored and pissed. This is not the life I want to lead. I don't want to be married to a meth head. He can't seem to get a grip on himself and deal with his grief. I don't know how I am going to trust him. . tl;dr: Found a meth pipe in husbands pocket, have no major drug history, but husband has a very addictive personality and was hiding this from me. Don't know what to do.
  14. Ok, here's the story. I've been really close friend with this person for two years, and she's awesome to be with. She's kind, funny, fun, a great listener, and she always give a helping hand whenever I need it, and I've been the same for her. From the very beginning, I knew we were complete opposite. She's dominate, aggressive, controlling, head strong, a drama queen, munipultive, and my biggest pep peeve that she posess is that she yells. However with me, I'm passive, sensative, a dweller, unforgiving, innocent, brutally honest and annalytical. So as you can see, we are complete opposite. About a year ago, someone have said to me that this friend of mine of who I've trusted for two years been saying sh*t about me behind my back. I absorb it, but I didn't take it in. As meaning, I made sure that the information she gave is secured in my mind, but I didn't made a conclusion that she did say those things. Like I've done with many of my other friends, I've always approach them if they did say those things about me. However, with her, I approached the situation differently because of her dominent personality. I would do anything to avoid confrontation simply because I'm not a fighter, and I hate to be yelled at. With her, I'll receive that for sure. So I thought of another idea. I've decided to talk to someone else about it who happens to be friends with the person who given me the information. I can't remember what I've said to her exactly. I guess I said some things that I shouldn't say, but I was very angry because I didn't what to believe that this friend who I cared about would bash me behind my back, nor would I want to believe that I've been lied to. Although, my objective of this converstion was really, "how do I approach someone who's dominent without being yelled at." Finally I did, and personally, I think it went well. I got my point accross in a delicate way possible, and I wasn't yelled at. I was also pleased when she said that she would never do that. Weeks went by, and she completely yelled at me, and accused me of bashing her, and spreading our problems to everyone when I haven't. Although, I've talked to my boss because I felt I was violated. This is the things that she was not too happy about. She said that I should approach her about it immediately rather than approaching someone else about it. She believes that is bashing behind someone's back She said that if I was truly a friend of hers, I wouldn't believe such rubbish. She said it's really none of our employer's business, and that I shouldn't have talked to her about it. She said that she doesn't regret yelling at me because she feels she needs to put the fear in me so then I would stop with this nonsense. She says that my behavior and my choice in action was pathetic, and that I need to grow up.
  15. A little intro...my boyfriend and I have been together 10 months or so...crazy about each other -get along great, practically live together. No huge problems thus far. He's the kind of guy who is very cool, laid back, responsible but fun...in a thousand ways I am jealous of his relaxed and friendly personality, because me, whom used to be all of these things, in the last 2 years have spiraled into what I assume to be chronic depression...i've seeked help, i do have a medical condition (hypothyroidism), but medication has not helped...progressively becoming more anxious in social situations, and will for no reason burst into tears and have anxiety attacks...i have good days and bad days. Today is a bad day - they have been frequent lately.. I tried to avoid any contact with him today knowing I would either put him in a negative mood too or that I would get irrational and reject his attemps to make me feel better - but he tried to be sensitive, and after an afternoon of attempting to do "saturday errands" i ended up telling him I had to go home and by this point we had spoken about 10 words to each other, and he was depressed as ever. I hate it because I don't want to push him away, but I don't want to hurt him either - I honestly feel that somedays or evenings, I ruin everything..and I can't control it. Nights he's spent staying up till 5 in the morning with me because I couldn't stop crying for no reason...he's so sweet but he's getting sick of it because he can't understand and i can tell. I don't know what to do...I think I'm ruining my relationship...and unfortunately this has affected all of my relationships in life (friends/family) - i'm just not a very fun person anymore... ugh...can anyone relate?? and advice??
  16. Well, the last few weeks have been...weird...lol. She has gone back and forth between wanting a relationship (only when i tell her to stop talking to me) and then being undecided again (when i say 'ok well then lets try it'). Although the other things seem to be working out in my life, i found a good job (apprentice electrician) which is hard to do at my age, car is in the shop and ive decided to buy a work truck instead of a motorcycle - sorry friscodj Yet there is still a void and i still make excuses for myself to call her or make excuses for her actions that should be inexcusable. I have come to the realization that she is not the kind of person i want to be with, nor is she the kind of person i CAN be with...even if i believed i should. I am very lonely still...which is why i still talk to her. I am trying my best to get out of the rut i am in but it is hard to escape. I am putting myself out there and looking to find a new girl and meet new people but its not working out so well. I guess what i miss most is companionship itself more than her. I also cant see any new girl saying/doing the kind of things she used to...so i get discouraged. Im also not sure if im even ready to find someone else...i dont want to get with someone else and come to find out im not and waste their time. The good news is i rarely feel like this...maybe a couple nights a week. Im motivating myself and im pushing through it...but i always slip up and message her. I am ok with talking to her...i really dont mind...i dont even mind going the friend route, but the other night i said some really mean things...really really mean things...worse than anything ive ever said to anyone. I know she has very low self esteem (which i believe is why she chooses to sleep w/ people she is only attracted to...to feel better about herself?) so i hit her everywhere...personality, looks, sense of humor, you name it i insulted. Why? i dont know why...i got this split second idea...it wasnt even out of anger...i just decided to say it hoping it would make me feel better and she would finally make up her damn mind...well now shes ignoring me and i feel horrible. Oh well, i guess this is a good chance to move on as much as i can...until shes done with whoever shes into now. Oh well, i guess it will be a surprise to her when i tell her to jump in a lake. Thanks for listening.
  17. This is more a commentary than a question. I see that people say "Women care more about personality than how a man looks". I think thats ridiculous!! I mean you dont see Hugo the Hunchback living it up with cheerleaders just because he has a "good personality". They call it attraction for a reason. Physical attraction is the foundation of building the realtionship all other aspects just build upon that! So please, stop saying otherwise.
  18. Hi there, I'm a reasonably handsome, confident dude, but there's been something on my mind that's kinda killing my confidence and bringing me down a bit. It's recently been bothering me more, maybe because I'm coming off a break-up, or maybe because I'm just getting older (nigh 21)... My problem is that my one humerus (upper arm bone) is about 1.5 inches shorter than the other, b/c I damaged the growth plate a few years back. I notice it, because it's really my only source of insecurity, but I'm not sure how noticeable it is to the rest of the world, because i've only been asked about it once. So either they don't notice, don't care, or are too embarrassed to ask... and I never bring it up either. I can get the discrepancy corrected, but the process seems pretty horrendous. Other than worrying about seeming freaky, (even though i have lots of friends, am in otherwise great shape, and have a pretty cool personality) it doesn't really bother me. But, I don't want to seem freaky either. I'm really not sure what I'm looking to gain from this post, maybe just get it off my chest a bit and get a little peace of mind. So I guess just leave your thoughts... maybe a haiku, your telephone number, a joke, pictures of your hot family members...? Thanks
  19. Lets face it... how can non shys be attracted to us shy people beyond superficial things like looks. I mean initially, it's not like we are able to wow them with our great personality. so why then, do people find shy people attractive at all?
  20. Dont know if this is the right place to put this in. This is a problem Ive had since probably middle school. I don't know why some people label me as being the quiet/shy type, I have never thought of myself as that type of person at all. For years Ive tried to get away from that type of personality yet nothing seems to work. I try to talk as often as I can, I've tried to initiate conversations with people. I often try to create small-talk, even if its the most random thing to bring up in a conversation. I know that I am not totally reserved. Yet I still hear it to this day and the more and more that I hear it the more pissed off I become. Its become so bad that now everytime I hear the word "quiet" I totally flip out (yelling, cursing etc.) Some of the people who consider me to be quiet are also the same people who will either ignore most of what I say or when I am trying to start a conversation they will use one-word answers and then not say much else. Yet they still consider me to be quiet/shy. People love to bring the issue to my attention all the time, I know there are some people out there who are less social than I yet they don't hear it as often as I do, its like people constantly expect more out of me or that there's something about me that attracts people to me and this quiet/shy crap sticks out like a sore thumb. I don't know what to do, I've tried everything that I can think of to shake this image. There is so much more to me, I wish I could be seen by my peers for other characteristics about me rathar than always hearing; "oh he's the nice quiet guy". I typically don't let most things that people say about me get to me. But for some reason, being called quiet/shy really pushes me over the edge. I sure as hell do not want to be remembered this way.
  21. I have told I have a codependent personality. How are you able to move away from paying to others problems and more attention to my problems and myself? How does one develop a codependent personality?
  22. I know that breasts are one of the main turn-ons for men about a woman's body. So I'm wondering, would men have trouble being turned on during sex if a woman is very flat-chested (like if she has A-cup size breasts or even smaller)? How important are (women's) breasts for men during sex? Would it make a difference if she has a very pretty face and is generally very attractive, or if you're in love with her personality? Would the man's age and/or experience make a difference? I hope this question isn't too confusing.
  23. Hi, I thank you for reading my post in advance Here goes... Me: 27 year old, male. Semi-successful, operate my own company on top of working for a large IT firm as part of the group lead. I'm highly attracted to women in charge and power. Her: School teacher, attractive and just what I'm looking for. Has a charming personality and from what I'm able to tell she might be about 10 years older than I am. So... I met her once when I had just bought my place, talked for a few and went our way, I liked her then because of her personality but didn't act on it. Two weeks ago, nearly 3 months later I met her roommate and he asked if I was interested in her. Evidently she thinks, "I'm cute" and had asked him if he knew I had a g/f. I naturally ceased the opportunity and let him know that I was interested so he arranged a visit to my place (gave them the tour), he left and she stayed behind to talk. 3 hours later I find out that I actually like to get to know her and I find a lot in common and that rarely happens. I offered to take her to coffee; instead she said "how about dinner" so I agreed. The only problem, the clash of schedules didn't allow it to happen and hasn't happened a week later (now). Well we tried once but she couldn't make it so she gave me the "Let's play it by the ear" spiel. To me that is a sign of: 1. She's not sure about dating someone next door? 2. She's scared? 3. Second thought? I've not called her or seen her since. Seeing how she's a neighbor I don't want to intrude, ring her doorbell or cross any type of boundaries making it awkward. But I still would like to get to know her and I'm really interested in striking a friendship before anything romantic. I'm a patient person (you can tell by my other post). I want to get the general census and see if I should call her and invite her over to "continue our conversation"... thoughts? PS. I can take constructive criticism so please if you do reply make it profound so I have something to think about
  24. I have to admit... this topic has been on my mind recently. I find that I have a big problem -- the guys whose personality I'm attracted to I'm usually not PHYSICALLY attracted to at all. I think it's true that most guys who are very intelligent don't tend to be so good-looking... whereas I am above average in looks, it's extremely hard for me to find someone who I also find attractive. So I have tried online dating. A few guys have caught my attention online because of their personality -- how they express themselves in their profile. So I smiled at them, they wrote me & we seem to have a personality click. Two of the guys seem intelligent -- one's a young doctor, the other a lawyer, both nice people. But they're about average in looks... and I don't feel a spark physically I guess. I feel conflicted ethically now if I should stop any type of flirtation or continue, knowing that I'm not so much physically attracted to them. I just think it's so hard to find guys who have both that I've almost decided to just... date guys who I'm not physically attracted to. How important is it really? I am also hesitant because my first bf was someone who I wasn't physically attracted to and our sex life was very... uncomfortable so to speak & I originally thought it was something wrong with me (he suggested I see a doctor.) looking back though I just realize that I wasn't physically attracted to him at all! So I am a bit concerned about that as well. How do I resolve this? Lower standards for dating... or wait until I find someone who I really feel a complete & genuine attraction to?? I'm just worried that that won't be til... oh I don't know... 2030?
  25. last night, me and the now infamous ex, had a fight, straining from words like "I don't love you like that anymore!" and "I don't want a relationship with you!" from her to "if you can't let go of me cheating on you a year ago,then thats your problem! I got over what you did to me after!" to both of us saying we care about each other and all that.... so we ended the conversation saying "I'll just do what's best for me" from both sides. Frankly, i thought it was the start of NC. so i didnt call her the whole day today. 640pm rolls and she calls me up! why? so, I picked up and said in a pleasant voice how nice to hear from her and how sweet that she called. asked how she was doing and she told me that the guy she's been hanging out with (the guy she liked after we broke up and then supposedly told him that she's not interested anymore a month and a half later) that he's helping her with her business in the shows and crowd I introduced her to. take note, i try to steer clear from those people already since I dont want to see her with them anymore, but since she's hot chick with an awesome people personality, the people have been pining over her like nobody's business. i told her how my day is going but that was about it. asked her if she was interested in watching a couple of movies with me but wasnt pushy. just told her "i think ud enjoy this movie, if u wanna catch it sometime" but didnt persist on it. anyway, I decided on picking up the phone because I would want her to do the same for me if ever i would want to talk to her. But then again, she's been insistent on being a "friend" to me, and so far, she's been consistent with her actions. she sounded surprised that i havent called her all day and I told her jokingly that "i wanted you to have a good day today" and topped it off with a dose of compliments of her being sweet to remember to call. i really don't know where this is going. input would be appreciated
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