flower99

^ great words Hope!!! Take baby steps! try reaching for his hand. Try kissing him....test his reaction. I'm sure you will be pleased with it. I totally know where your coming from, I'm the same way at times. It's hard letting your guard down..it's a risk. And to be honest, we've all had our hearts broken & we all break someones heart. Just like Hope said, "ask yourself, is the risk of getting hurt worth the benefit of the wonderful feeling of being in love, being happy, being open, honest and vulnerable with another person, if it does work out?" Because Love is a beautiful thing, but you have to allow yourself to feel it. there is ALWAYS a risk, but remember You always recover no matter what. And come out stronger. Let yourself love & be loved. You're worth it.

So you guys think I should tell my brother no I can't help you because I need to be there for my friend??? that does seems like the right thing to do... Even though I feel like she doesn't NEED me though? I feel like she just prefers to have me there rather than to fix things with her mom. But I agreed to this, under the impression she would try to patch things with her mom. NOT turn her away when she offered to be there for her. If I'm not there, do you think that would force her to work things out with her mom? because she really needs too, she's on the verge of cutting her parents out of her sons life.

Thank you all so much already..you're giving me more to think about.

My brother lives 6 hours away.. so can't really do both..I wish I could. Her son's father? Well she doesn't allow him to see her son. (I don't agree with her reasoning, same with her parents) Although he would very much like to & even works in the hospital she will be delievering in.

My only thing is this pregnant friend & first come first serve...She's always the first to ask for help cause she is ALWAYING needing my help. If it's not this, it's something else. Although this is the biggest thing, this year. My fiancee told me today he thinks she won't ever fix things with her parents, cause she doesn't need to. She can always turn to me. And I really see that. And truth be told..I' m tired. I'm tired of doing the work of her family, just cause she isn't satisfied with her own family. (if they were abusive or something it would be a different story..but that's not the case) And now I'm putting off my family to be her family. Her mom asked her last week if she could be there & help & watch her grandson....but my friend told her no. Honestly it upsets me a little that she turned away her mom & leaving me to do this. I agreed figuring I would be last resort, not thinking she would tell her mom no. Like I work 2 jobs & have a 4 year old of my own...I thought she would try at least to patch things up with her mom. .

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It is a wonderful sign that she let you move back in & that you see how you hurt her. I personally believe it can get better & she can trust you again. If both of you are in this 100%. BUT you haven't mentioned if you plan on giving up porn for her? Can you honestly tell her that? or have you?

Okay So I need advice, any advice will help...Thank you in advance.

Yes I agree with Keefy...Brightside....Maybe she did it to save you money (:

I agree keefy.... she probably didn't want to get into the discussion about the mistake she made.......But how could she have a problem with his 'mistake' he made than?? (which began after break up, not before like hers) And just because she wants to avoid the discussion really doesn't make it okay to lie. (kids do that to get out of trouble) Yeah It probably wasn't malicious intent...But I've hurt a lot of people without malicious intent, it still leaves scares I do totally understand what you are saying keefy & agree for the most part.....But my biggest worry is how many other lies she tells to avoid the discussions?? and if when she thinks shes gotten away with it, if it makes it easier for her to do it more often? (the habit building)

honestly....the letting sleeping dogs lie thing sounds good. BUT I worry & question why she felt the need to lie about it??? she didn't just hide it & change the topic or something....she lied & swore to you! much more, she had issues with YOU haveing relationship during the break up....while she was kissing some guy at work BEFORE she broke up with you. Personally, I know you want to start fresh & remain in this good place you two are in...But I think it may be an illusion. Because really we see that the relationship started with lies & secrets as to the REAL reason you two broke up. I think you should address this with her, not so much the dating part (because you also dated someone else) BUT the lying & secrets...that is serious

I've waited 8 months & 2 days...and a more in between. well 2 days lasted....1 week 8 months has lasted 2 years & we're engaged. Can't say it was because of the sex, but part of me believes it really did play a part. We developed & established the friendship & communication before adding the sex. but honestly I have noticed the ones that waited the longest lasted the longest, maybe because they got to know me more & cared for me more??? maybe just conicedence. but my personal opinion of men when I sleep with them quickly does change because I have a hell of a lot more respect for a man that can say no to me....for so many reasons... ..lol

Honestly...I don't think you have ADD. I think focusing is something you have to teach yourself to do. Most Everyone's brain wonders when reading, especailly when its' something of little intrest to you....like highschool usually is (or was for me) I totally agree with Maveriks words. take actions to get the results you want. You'll achieve at whatever you set your mind to.

Shes still has feelings for her ex. risky gets stupid when talking about him you drive her out of your house screaming... you took her back out of guilt. not love all in all...this doesn't sound good, healthy, or loving. My thoughts would be...mabye she isn't the one & a relationship with her sound risky...I'd prefer happy & healthy

I totally understand what your saying Valiantv....it is a hard one & sensitive topic for some single moms. For each mother it's different. My friend allows the men she dates to start disciplining basically off the start, because she feels her son needs to learn to respect & listen to all adults. I on the other hand, waited till I was engaged to encourage my finace to be an active father figure & disciplinary, because I didn't want each man I date to be steping in & out of his life. My finace makes suggestions to me at times, to do things differently....I'll admit I was senstive to it at first...didn't like to feel like i might be raising my son wrong. But lately I've gotten much better cause I really do respect him and his ideas & I realise I Don't know everything & there are some things I haven't thought of. And I think there may be things that JMNTampas wife hasn't thought of. She's obviously a very loveing & caring mother. But she may be holding on too much to her son, that his future is now at risk. If he's failing in school, has no work ethic, drive, passion, probably not much pride or self worth either....how can he achieve a happy, successful, prosperous life? find love? a job he enjoys? Because JMNTampa is not techinically his dad, they are still family, and a love, he cares about his son's future. Maybe talking to the mom & comeing up with a plan to make slight changes can be a huge step in the right direction for the 16 year old.

Yeah the change needs to start with Mom. Maybe time for some tough love too...if his studies are failing. No xbox till homework it done

I fully agree with all of Kellbell's words in this post & her prior ones I can't believe what your wife has & is doing to you & your children...it's so selfish, cruel & WOW....I am so sorry (hugs)

it's good to open up to anything but don't settle for 'whatever comes along.' Regardless of age, There are so many issues here (lies, jealousy, date with other men,insecurities over a picture and that just the beginning cause you aren't even in a relationship yet..how will you get past these?)....i believe you might be settling. Maybe all these issues are natures way of saying, get out before it's too late? just something to think about

It so hard to tell, but the best way for me, is to hold off on sex. A man who's truly into you for more than sexual relationship, will wait patiently. (like a gentlemen.) Because there is so much more to getting to know someone & it takes time. And someone who's True should just love spending time with you, enjoy the company. If he's bringing up sex so soon...it makes me wonder....cause he's letting you know what he wants (or won't have minded)

You're not an idiot....you're human (: we've all done things we shouldn't. But honestly I would leave it alone. And trust that if it's meant to be it will be. Because nature, God, fate, (the law)...whatever it is seems to be keeping you two apart (even before this issue). And It's Probably for a good reason. Let it be.

Wow, does your wife not care about his future????? does she not see that this is NOT a healthy life for a 16 year old? Has she no desire to prepare him for the world & raise him to be a strong, motivated, independent man that can be proud of himself??? you two need to talk about this. p.s Saying you can't stand her child...is a little harsh.Keep in mind this is what she raised him to be & encourages him in it...calling 3 times in 2 hours to check on him??what is she afraid will happen to him? he's 16 almost a man & she's treating him as a child. That needs to change! I'm afraid he will only rise as high as the expectations for him.

Wow I am so sorry for everything you're going through. I like your words, you may not get over it, but you WILL get threw it. Wow I have to say she was terrible to you, she left you in your time of need for your best friend...WOW that's harsh. Thank God she's out, cause there is someone far greater for you. if it's any comfort to you...I don't think thier marriage will last. I don't know them, or much at all about them..but like you said it's only been 5 months since you broke up after 5 years, she's on the re-bound, and it's the honey moon phase (so much changes), he's 23 now raising 4 kids and he can't hold a job...so much could & probably will go wrong. Fallback guy. i have to say. You are doing awesome. You've had so much going on, so much to deal, You're strong, hit down & you get back up...you're an ispiration. Every struggle is a time to grow & develop your character. (paraphrased james 1:2) Keep your eyes on the light at the end of this tunnel cause this too will pass. And you will come out of this stronger & wiser.

Hi there, Wow I looked this one up & it's amazing how many parents are dealing with this....there are some suggestions here that might help. link removed I can't say if it is or is not an attention getter, but it does seem to be fairly normal for a child to explore EVERYTHING....

Do it! I think that is a good plan. It leaves the ball in her court,allows her to 'take the bull by the horns'. If she wants you she will have to make a step...meets you have way! As well as you don't want start the relationship by you doing all the work, it sets the pattern for the entire relationship. You've shown interest, made the calls, took her on a date...now it's her turn to meet you half way. plus playing hard to get, acting like you don't care, can be a turn on for many women....wish you luck