maryale

Hi, yesturday was my first time with my boyfriend. I've done it before but it was the first time with my actual boyfriend. Anyway, we lasted like for 1 hour. I mean, I think I have a problem or what? I mean, I do get horny and turned on, but I've never felt an orgasm. For example, we lasted 1 hour in which he almost cummed 2 times but he controlled himself, because he wanted me to have an orgasm, too, but after one hour we were both really tired and he cummed, but I wasn't even close to. This had happen to me before with my exboyfriend, he used to cum really fast and I never felt an orgasm. I thought it was because of him, but I think it's my problem. After doing that, I felt satisfied but disappointed. I guess he expected more from me? We tried him on top of me, and he controlled himself for 2 times. He told me he wanted me to feel an orgasm, and to enjoy it, because he knows I've never felt one. So, he waited until I felt something, but I didn't. So, I told him that I could be on top for a while to see what happens. We changed position and I was on top, and instead he cummed, really fast. When we finished, I felt satisfied because I prefer giving than receiving and knowing that he cummed once and controlled himself 2 times, made me feel happy and satisfied. He insted felt bad, he told me he wanted me to feel something. He told me he liked it but that he failed his mission of making me have an orgasm. Is that really bad for a guy? I feel really bad. I know I shouldn't because it's not my fault, or is it? Neither his fault. I enjoyed every second of it. Maybe it's because he likes giving than recieving, too?

Background I've been with my boyfriend for about 1 month and 2 weeks already and I really really like him a lot, and I feel he's different than other guys I've dated. I'm not the greatest girlfriend at all, well, I suck being a girlfriend. I suck at it because I usually become paranoid, full of doubt and fear. I usually get scared that I open myself completely to that person and get hurt and broken hearted. So, most of the time I form this 'wall' and start controlling my feelings, not showing my feelings, hiding my feelings. I start to push people back, especially my boyfriend and start having negative thoughts about not expecting too much, just to avoid getting really hurt if I get hurt. This whole 'mechanism' makes me be a really bad girlfriend, because I've being selfish, because I don't show him anything, any feeling towards him. I never call him even if I'm dying to call him. I never look for him even if I'm dying to be with him. I act really indifferent as I didn't care of anyone or anything.. I really hate being like this because I really want to open myself completely to my boyfriend. I want him to feel the same things I feel when he's lovable and when he calls me and stuff with me. So, I've talked to him about this and he tells me he likes me anyway and he hopes I can change over time with him and open myself completely with him. He told me someday I was going to change whether it was with him or with other guy, but that he wishes it was with him. I've been wanting to change, I feel I can change with him and I want to change with him and not be afraid of feeling more. The Fight After one month of being together, not having one single fight because we get along really fine and have an amazing communication, the first fight took place this Saturday. He knows it's hard for me to call him with my whole mechanism and stuff. I was drunk and I called him (it's like the 3rd time ever I've call him) and told him to crash to my friend's place. It was 11:00pm, he told me he'll be there. He NEVER showed up. I'm 18 years old and he's 18, too. He knows exactly that my parents let me out until 3am, he knows that because he always leaves me at home at 3:00am, every single weekend. He had few hours to even call me and tell me he won't arrive, but he didn't, instead he called me at 3am exactly and ask me where I was ( * * *? he knows I'm home at that time), I was drunk and upset, and my mechanism was on, so I acted as I didn't care but he noticed I was upset. He asks me "Did you miss me tonight?" and I answer him "Whatever" he tells me "I did miss you tonight". Those are words, words, words, not actions and that doesn't fill my heart. I was like "okay, whatever" Then he tells me "What do you want to do tomorrow? We could watch movies and drink some wine." This really got me upset, he knows he didn't show up and he started acting like everything was perfectly fine, so I told him "I dont know, talk to you tomorrow" and I hang up. So, I woke up yesturday, still feeling mad and upset. He gets online and he tells me "Hello". I know when something's wrong when he says "Hello", he usually calls me names when he says hello. Anyway, I didn't even want to talk to him, not even see him. He was telling me to go to his place but I really didn't feel like it. So I told him, I didn't want to do anything because I wasn't in the mood. That was at 2pm. At 11pm, he gets online again. We started talking. I was much more UPSET NOW, because my sister told me he had talk to her and he told my sister I was having this little baby attitude. Maybe I was, but it was because I was UPSET, and I didn't really felt like talking to him. So, I was relaxing, trying to talk things out with him-- Him: I don't like this Me: What? Him: Us, fighting. We don't fight. Me: Yes, I thought that too. Him: I don't really enjoy this situation. Me: Me neither Him: May I ask you what's the main reason we're fighting? Me: Ok, I'll be honest. I really don't care if you want to hang out with your friends. I won't die if I don't see you one day, or two, or three, or even more. But if that happens, don't tell me you'll crash at the place I am, if you're not going to. And, don't call me at 3am, the time you know exactly I'm already home to ask me if I'm still at my friend's place for you to arrive because you want to see me, in that case, don't call me at all. Him: Yes, I know I screwed up. I had plan to go there, and I was going to, really, but I got really drunk and I never arrived. But this isn't the big deal, it isn't the end of the world, not even a good reason for you to get all upset and act as a little child about this. Me: What? it is for me!! I got really upset, so what? It would be better if you could just told me you were going to stay with your friends. At leats I would have done another thing rather that stay at my friend's waiting for you. I shouldn't have call you in the first place, I only called you because I was drunk. Him: (in a sarcastic way) If you really regret calling me, I'm sorry, man. Next time try not to call me so much and you won't feel that bad as you're feeling. You don't even call at all, you prefer calling other people than me, but that's okay, I dont ****ing care, I do the same. Me: As if it was so hard not calling you. Him: What? you're saying it's easier if you don't call me. Me: I never call you, sorry for being such a b*tch, but it's true. If I was sober on Saturday I wouldn't have call you at all, or do I sometime? The only time I call you, you don't arrive. Him: You know you told me you won't talk to me when you're uspet because it doesn't solve anything, well, now I'm the one upset and I don't want to talk to you, so talk to you some other time. Me: Fine. I know I was totally harsh, I shouldn't have tell him the stuff I said, but I was really upset. I guess, he has all the right to be mad at me now. After that, I felt really bad and text msged him, telling him: "I'm sorry for expressing myself like that, I didn't mean it, I was just really upset. I know that what you did on Saturday isn't the big deal, but I guess it was for me. I knew that If I talk to you, we would get into a bigger fight, and I was right. I guess the reason I got so upset was because I finally felt I could open myself with you and change, and I wanted to be with you and you never arrived. I guess you had your reasons for not arriving. I just don't want to be like this with you, and I'm sorry for being so rude." and I haven't got any response from him since then. I know I screwed up really bad. I feel terrible for this, and I like him a lot and I want things to go back to normal. I really don't want things to get out of hands and break up. I guess it's his choice now, I don't know what more to do. I apologized already and I'm waiting for him to talk to me again.

I was wondering.. What turns you on? What do you like girls to do to you to turn you on? What do you like girls to do to you while having sex? While foreplaying?

Thank you. I'm 18, My boyfriend is 18 and my exboyfriend is 16. I mean my ex was two years younger than me, and that's why I see myself with him in 10 years, not now, because I think he's pretty young and immature right now, and probably he didn't even loved me, he might think he did, but probably he didn't even know what love is. I mean, I think about my ex, but I can handle it, I think about him but I just wonder how are things going to end between us, since I usually had a great communication with him and I sometimes miss talk to him, that's all. Even if he comes back to me, I won't get back together with him because rigth now I just want to be his friend again, not his girlfriend. I just miss him sometimes. The conversations and stuff. With my boyfriend, I know sex was really soon but unofficially we were seeing each other for about 6 months already, and decided to go out with him one month ago, in which we had sex the first time about 2 weeks ago. Besides the lack of telling each other our feelings, we're really opened with each other and we have a lot of things in common and we see each other everyday, and no we don't have sex all the time, just once a week, or twice? I mean, our relationship is good, we have a lot of fun together and we talk about stuipid stuff and all, I just want him to tell me what he feels for me more often. He had tell me what he feels but only once or twice, and tells me he doesn't say it so often because he think I'm gonna laugh at his face. The same happens to me, I fear I tell him all this and laughs at me.

Here's what I think, when I call a boy 'Hottie', 'Hot', 'Sexy' it's because I think he's sexually attractive and I just want to get into his pants & when I call a boy 'pretty' is because I think he's adorable and cute and probably I see him in a more serious way not in a way, which in my opinion it's better to be called pretty than hot.

I'm going out with this guy and we like each other a lot. We're really comfortable with each other and we trust each other. Besides trust and liking each other, we're really sexually attracted to each other. We've been going out for one month and well, we don't really talk about how much we like each other, or talk about our feelings. Sometimes, I really need to hear what he feels for me because I sometimes get the feeling he's just with me because of the sex. Lately, we barely communicate and talk about each other, we just make out and have sex, and sometimes I feel I annoyed him a lot but I don't know, sometimes I rather stay quiet and don't speak at all, and it makes me feel so empty and I get really annoyed and I just don't want to see him or talk to him and when this happens to me I just want to disappear and be with other people than with him. One week ago, I told him things were strange and that I felt we annoyed each other a lot, and he told me he didn't feel annoyed when he was with me, so I decided to tell him I was kidding, even if I wasn't. Yesturday i told him I needed to tell him something, and it's about this, because I'm not enjoying it at all. I know I should talk to him and tell him what I'm feeling, but I don't know how. Help? I like my boyfriend a lot, and I really want things to work out and I want to hear he likes me from his mouth and I also want his actions to show me what he feels.. but, in the other hand, I think a lot about my exboyfriend. I mean, I was the one that dumped my exboyfriend, so I don't know why I feel like this when it comes to my exboyfriend. When I dumped him, he decided complete No Contact between each other. We barely see each other anymore and we don't talk at all. I just get online, see him online and read his nicknames, that I think they're all referring to me because it's about hate. When we broke up, I broke his heart and since then, he says I destroyed his life. He still doesn't want to know anything about me and the last time we talked he told me he didn't want me to ask his friends about him, and that he wasn't going to ask my friends about me. I mean COMPLETE NO CONTACTING EACH OTHER! I know I'm satisfied and happy with my boyfriend, but I feel I think a lot about my exboyfriend, I know he still loves me. He used to tell me he loved me every second and it was great, since he showed me he cared a lot about me. Now, I even constantly think I want to marry him in 10 years (but I doubt he wants to marry me), I mean, why do I feel like this about my exboyfriend now that I'm NOT with him and when I was with him he totally annoyed me?

I'm scared, and I've always been when I start a relationship with someone. I'm scared to fall in love because I panic someone will break my heart. Most of the time, I cover myself and form a barrier for not getting hurt and most of the time I don't enjoy it. I always try to be chill with relationships, and be understandable and not jealous. I've always been very indifferent and I look tough and strong with guys. I really don't let any boy treat me bad or disrespect me under any circumstance and most of all, I respect myself and won't let any boy play me or anything, and this keeps me alert with boys. I have a problem and is that I don't like showing my feelings, because I'm afraid I'll get hurt. So, when I feel something, denial comes and I swallow all those feelings just to make people think I'm strong and nothing bothers me. At first, I can control, because I think it's nothing what I feel. Then comes denial, I start saying to myself I shouldn't be feeling this or that. Then I admit it to myself and keep it to myself. and so it is, it stays inside of me. I swallow everything I feel. This happens to me everytime I feel something with a boy. If it's attraction, or if I feel love, or if I feel jealousy. I swallow everything and then I can't handle it anymore, and I cover myself in a barrier, in which I don't let anyone come in, in which I wanna be alone. So, I reject people, lie to people, treat people badly to make myself feel better. I'm afraid right now and I guess this is my mechanism for not getting hurt, but really I'm getting hurt and I'm suffering. Right now, I'm going out with this guy, I like him a lot, but I'm really scared. I'm scared I fall in love and I'm in such a defensive situation, prepared for everything, and forcing myself not to fall in love or feel more than what I'm feeling. I don't wanna feel more because I'm scared. I'm scared that when I feel more, this guy cheats on me and breaks my heart. I'm scared to enjoy every moment with him openly. and my mechanism starts to run. I form a barrier, defend and protect myself, force myself not to feel more, and I don't let him get into my barrier. So, I start treating him bad. I don't call him, don't look for him, and try not to show any interest on him at all, treat him as if he is just one more in my world, that he makes me nothing, and when he looks for me, I reject him and tell him I don't wanna be with him (but I REALLY want to be with him, I just do that as a defensive mechanism, I guess, for not getting hurt) and he look for me again and this makes me feel good, in a strange way. He shows me he really cares about me and it makes me feel good. He doesnt know I do this, I don't let it show, so I'm not worried about freaking him out about it. I just need a constant reminder that there is nothing wrong in my relationship with my boyfriend. I constantly worry about stupid stuff, if he likes me or not, and if he wants to be with me or not. I mean, I think it's insecurity, but I have a normal self esteem, I believe someone would be lucky to have me, and I respect myself and I like myself enough for not letting any guy treat me bad. So, then I start thinking "If he doesn't like me, or doesn't want to be with me, don't be! No one forces him to make those desicions", but still I feel bad and insecure. I mean I like myself enough to know I'm pretty, I may not be a supermodel or anything, but I know I have my qualities, but I'm really insecure about things. People I know ask me why am I with my boyfriend (my boyfriend isn't that attractive at all), they tell me I'm too much for him, physically relating, but I don't care I like him for who he is, I don't care about his appeareance. And still, I worry when my boyfriend says other girls are pretty, I usually think he's gonna leave me for them. I'm constantly paranoid that he's gonna cheat on me. He doesn't know I think this when he says those stuff, because probably he'll think I'm pathetic to think it that way. I swallow my thoughts when he says those things because he has always tell me that jealousy is for inscure people, and that he isn't insecure and I have show him I'm not insecure (if he only knew..). When we're around his friends, I usually don't like being there, because I'm afraid he rejects me or denies me. I usually say "Hello" to him and I don't even kiss him and then leave and make a phonecall or something while he finishes talking with his friends. I do this because I'm afraid that if I kiss him to say hello, I'm afraid he asks me why am I doing that, or I'm afraid he says any comment that will hurt me, so I rather don't do anything at all. When we're holding hands, he's that one that takes the initiative to hold my hand, because I rather don't risk and don't do anything at all. Same with kisses, he's the one that gives me kisses most of the time, because I'm afraid he rejects me or anything if I take the initiative of giving him a kiss. Why am I like this? I wish I could take his hand and kiss him without being afraid.

I had "sex" on Saturday with my boyfriend. I was on my 4th day of the menstruation and we didn't use a condom. I say "sex" because he didnt really cummed inside of me because we stopped like 5 minutes after starting having sex because I had to leave soon. I took the Morning After Pill today, just in case. I know that was totally irresponsible and I won't do it again but now im freaked out!

Is having sex while Menstruation bad? Is it easier to get pregnant or not? I've heard there's like three days after or before or during (not sure) having the menstruation when you can have sex without a condom because the possibilities of getting pregnant are really low. Is it true?

We're both 18.

I know this guy like almost a year ago, and we became really close friends. Then, I dated him for like 3 months, in which we made out one month and now I've been going out with him for 2 weeks. We like each other a lot and we feel really comfortable with each other. Well, the only thing we've doing is make out and that's all. But suddenly yesturday, we were making out and things happened, one thing led to another and when I realize we were about to have sex. I stopped because I freaked out, not because I'm scared, I've done it before, but I was freaked out because I think we were going too fast and we haven't been together (going out) for a long time. Besides, he haven't fingered me and I haven't done anything to him. I mean, I really wanted to go on and have sex with him because it felt comfortable and right but in the other hand it didn't feel right because I felt we were going too fast in so little time. Besides, we never had the sex talk or anything-- I know that things just happened, and that's great, because it just happened without planning it but probably if I had have sex I would feel bad after it. Should I stop thinking this way and just go for it (I want to but I don't know) or should I wait because it's still too soon?

Hey. I'm a girl and let me tell you, as far as I know, there's no more sexier man than a man that has a positive attitude, self confidence and great personality. I prefer a dude with a great attitude, than a dude who's hot. It's all in the attitude.

THE BACKGROUND SINCE THE BEGINNING I used to see this Guy#1 everyday at school but we didn't know each other and really we weren't interested on knowing each other, he was just one more guy in school. He graduated on May, and I started hanging out with his friends, so I met him and we started talking and getting to know each other. For me, he was just one more dude in the group I hang out with. I had fun with him and he became my drinking buddy. We got to know each other each day more and more and we found out we were really alike and we had a lot of things in common, we became friends. In that time I was seeing this other Guy#2 and on August I went out with him. Three days after, I found out Guy#1 told my sister he liked me and he wanted to have a serious relationship with me, exactly the day I had say 'yes' to Guy#2. I didn't care because I liked Guy#2 a lot, and Guy#1 was just my friend. I started to hang out with Guy#2 a lot, since he was my boyfriend, so I didn't see Guy#1 that much anymore. The times I saw Guy#1, he was always telling me things like "You should dump your boyfriend and go out with me" and I would laugh and say "ha-ha sure". It didn't affect me at all, because I was really into my boyfriend, not him. Then things started to get ugly with my boyfriend. I would stop hanging out so much with him and start hanging out with my friends more. My boyfriend didn't like that I hang out so much with Guy#1, he didn't trust him and he was always telling me Guy#1 liked me and that he didn't want me to hang out anymore with him. HOW COME? He didn’t want me to hang out with my friend! I really disliked that, so things became uglier between him and me. Somehow being with my boyfriend wasn't as fun as it was before. A sudden flirting and attraction grew between me and Guy#1. I started to prefer hanging out with Guy#1 than with my boyfriend. There were days I didn't answer my boyfriend’s calls, and I didn't want to see him. He was really dramatic and jealous, and I'm really free and fresh. So rumors started, my friends started telling me Guy#1 had a huge crush on me and probably that if I dump Guy#2 he would ask me out. It actually sounded good to me, but Guy#2 "loved" me. Things between Guy#1 and me were growing. We were always together, flirting with each other, an amazing sexual tension between us, and just knowing nothing was able to happen between us since I had a boyfriend, turn us on even more. When I was with Guy#1, I didn't want to know anything about Guy#2, so most of the time I avoided him. I knew it was enough. After breaking up with my boyfriend, Guy#1 started calling me each day, hanging out a lot and staying up late talking through IM’s. He would be attentive and sweet and funny. He would be charming and flirtatious. He told me he liked me a lot, I just knew something was going on, but it was just attraction from my side. He would steal kisses from me, but just kisses on lips. No tongue or anything. My attraction for him grew and grew. He would ask me for kisses all the time and I would say no every time. After 3 weeks, we started kissing without tongue. 2 days after, we kissed with tongue and it was amazing. He was really turned on and he wanted more and more but I didn't feel it was right. We kissed for 3 more days, and then I decided to stop because I felt really used. I talked to him and told him we weren't going to keep kissing. He understood, but made him promise I owe him one last kiss. RIGHT NOW I feel really bad, since I'm not those kind of girls who kisses guys because I feel like. I'm the kind of girl who plays hard to get and acts indifferent around him, who won't look weak even though I'm breaking inside. I felt really out of me. So, I decided to be me, again. Guy#1 would still look for me, and call me. We would still hang out and drink together. We would flirt, but make him know nothing was going to happen. He would try to kiss me, I would move my face. When hanging out with him, we were just helping ourselves so much for not to kiss. It is really hard to help ourselves. He would lay on me shoulder and kiss my neck and breath in my cheek, and I would move my face just for his lips to touch mine, but we had to control ourselves. We controlled each other for three days. My friends left me alone with him last Thursday, we both were drinking and we just kissed, A LOT. We couldn't help ourselves. It didn't feel that bad after all since I know he likes me and after talking so much about he liking me and that he wants me to be his girlfriend and that he would never break my heart. Part of me believes him, part of me doesn't. On Friday, we kissed a lot, heavily. It felt so right. On Saturday I got drunk with him and we were holding hands and kissing each other. He would kiss my neck and I’ll kiss him back and it felt right, too. We hugged and I kissed him and we looked as we were boyfriend/girlfriend. And since then I haven't seen him. He called me on Sunday like 3 times. But everything's getting out of my hands, I think it's because I feel I like him, a lot. I want his whole attention for me, and I want to make him fall in love with me. I want him to feel the urge to see me and hold me. I want him to get jealous when I'm talking to other guys. Should I tell him I like him too? He's always telling me he likes me and that he wants me to be his girlfriend, I haven't tell him I like him but I have told him I'm afraid to be his girlfriend because I don't want to get hurt, and he tells me he won't hurt me. Should I tell him I like him? But I'm really afraid he hurts me, since he's exactly like me and right now this is killing me. Or should I stop this completely?

One month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, because secretly I felt attracted to one of my friends. Me and my friend always flirt and we have our inside jokes and it's obvious something's going on. Well, for the whole month, we've been fooling around and one week ago we kissed for the first time. We have kissed like 3 days since that. He says he likes me and he's really interested in me. He tells my sister that and all my friends and his friends knows something's going on. I just don't want anything serious now, since I just broke up.. besides, I'm afraid of being hurt and I'm almost sure that this guy is going to hurt me since he's exactly how I am, and I tend to hurt guy's feelings. a lot. without wanting to. Now, I feel really used, since everytime he wants to make out, he calls me, and there, he gets what he wants, and then he's like "I gotta go, bye" and he leaves. Yesturday, for example, he looked for me, we kissed and then he left with his friends to meet with some girls. It's not jealousy, I think. I mean, he can be with any girl he wants, but I just won't keep making out with him, if he's going to use me and look for me just when he feels like it and then leave me when he feels like it. Besides, if he says he likes me so much, well, I just don't think so. I can't really talk about this with any of my friends, because no one knows I've been making out with him. Now, I'm confused. I don't know if it's jealousy, or if it's his way to call my attention because most of the time I'm really indifferent, I usually act as I didn't care about him. I know that when he calls me today, or I talk to him today I'm going to be a total * * * * *, and I don't want to, I wanna keep being like I am with him, and when he looks for me to kiss, I just won't kiss him. Once I start being a * * * * * at him, he'll know I'm mad at him for leaving yesturday and obviously he'll think it's because he went to meet some girls.. and partly, it is, but most of it it's because he just looks for me, gets what he wants, and leaves. I feel really used. and I hate it.

My first time was in April, and I did it with my boyfriend. Twice. The first time, it really hurt because he wasn't doing it so gently, at all. I really didn't feel any pleasure or anything. The second time that day, we did it again, and I just didn't feel the pleasure at all. He had a nice moment, I just didn't, I didn't have an orgasm. Then the last time was on June, we did it three times and I didn't feel anything pleased, didn't get any orgasm either. He did, though. I just felt like some hole for him. He came off before I could actually feel the pleasure. The only time I did felt some pleasure was one time he fingered me, but not in sex. Is that normal? Is something wrong with me?