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flower99

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Everything posted by flower99

  1. flower99
    First thing hun...Ignore everything he said about you, because you know he doesn't know the whole story. or even what's been bothering...which isn't him-it's your roommates actions. Sweetie, Trust your gut. Of course she is not being sincere. She has proven her self to be a liar a number of times already. do you honestly think this guy is making it up? I doubt it. He may be an a$# but he's been honest. I doubt he even knows that she has a bf. She was flirting with him in front of you, called him when she found out he liked her, hiding him from the bf....why? cause she wanted a 'friend'?.....She's lying to you. Trust your gut. SugarCube is right. "seems like your room mate does not respect you or your emotions. I know you say she is your best friend, but do you really feel like she is your best friend? Because your best friend shouldn't be doing what she is doing" She's not a good friend, from what I'm seeing (reading) she's not a good person.
  2. flower99
    Exactly! she doesn't seems to be a women of good character, morals or values.
  3. flower99
  4. flower99
    how long have they been together??? do you think she would have cheated on him?
  5. flower99
    a boyfriend?? than what are her intentions with this guy?? why is she flirting with him? why is she going out with him when there is obviously an attraction? how is her bf feeling about this?
  6. flower99
    if DN senorio plays out...great, even amazing! But on the other hand, for a best friend to do that to you...well that's pretty harsh! There are better ways to go about it. What she could have done, would be tell him...I do like you, but I value my friend more she's hurting & i should be there for her. And if they are meant to be it will be, maybe a week later or a month..whatever. But out of coutesy, she could have given you a heads up, and let you know he was joining the get together. She hasn't been upfront with you, she's saying one thing to you & doing another. Personally i couldn't be friends with a someone who couldn't talk to me about this, just be upfront. Honesty is important to me.
  7. flower99
    Oh geeze I totally know this feeling. I wish I had the magical words to comfort you, but I don't know them.. There are 2 things I do to get myself out of that spot. 1. Thank God for those good happy memories. And remind myself that every relationship & person played a part in creating the man you are today. Had it not been for that relationship & those intreactions with the family, you would not be in the place you are in now & in the happy healthy relationship you're in. 2. other times I try to remind myself of every bad thing in that relationship so I don't miss anything. lol But the thing is, Making new memories is the best way to go. People come in & out of your life, everyone of them leaving an imprint in your life. Be thankful for them & let them know it. And continue growing as a person. sometimes that means growing apart, but never forgetting.
  8. flower99
    what would go through my head - well first I would think 'he lost intrest in me' than, I would reassure myself and think of other more likely possibilities..such as he's probably having a rough day & isn't talkative. Which is when I would strike up conversation & see how he is Why do you ask???
  9. flower99
    I don't think it's possible to give your child too many hugs & kisses. AS long as your just as firm as you are loving. When she whines. Tell her to 'use her words to comminicate'. If she won't use her words, don't give her any more attention, negative or positive, until she speaks to you. Point out to her that 'mommy & daddy use words to talk not whines. you don't see mommy whining when she's thirsty '(my finacee used that one, it seemd to work I would have never thought of it) But honestly I don't think too many hugs or kisses can be harmful as long as it's balanced with being firm & disicipline when needed. You're doing great, your little girl is lucky to have you.
  10. flower99
    Yep mediation is the cheapest way I know of.
  11. flower99
    Definitely proceed with more caution than if you had no kids. Prior to kids, you only had your own safety to worry about. But now, you have a child to protect. So physically protecting them is the first step, so don’t bring a man to your home till you are sure beyond a shadow of doubt he is trust worthy. (Protect from thieves, abuse,stalkers & petifiles) But on top of the safety of their home & body. Protecting your childs mind & heart. Children become attached & need a father figure to look to. So if there is one there they will be looking to him. Make sure he is a good father figure, good character. And don’t introduce them to the child till you are sure of this. And serious about this man. Because when your child has men entering & existing their life, it leaves scars (depending on age of child,when they are really young, they forget the men, but when they are approx. 3 ish they ask a lot). And leaves him dealing with adult issues, creates abandonment issues & other issues. Showing a guy a picture of my kids, not so much a significant step for me, I show everyone my son (: but that’s just me.
  12. flower99
    Wow, for Y to call & uninvite Z and go so far as to say she is unwelcome, that is HUGE. For me to do something like that...It would have to be deeper than jealousy...if it were jealousy , she wouldn't have been invited to begin with....but she was - and then she was told she was unwelcome.... I have a feeling there is more to this story. As to why she is unwelcome....maybe she 'wronged' Y is some form? either Y is incredibly insecure & jealous & loves drama...or there is more to this that is untold.
  13. flower99
    I fully agree with this. It is not the pot. that is the problem. Sleeping all day, bad moods, lazy....That's him. I smoke pot almost daily, I maintain 2 great jobs & am up at 6 am everyday. Never miss work, never late, and have great attitude (so I hear).....It's a choice. You blame pot, because he does, he uses it as his excuse. Weed is his crutch. He's quit the other 'drugs' & became depedent on pot. Quitting pot won't be so easy. It's is NOT physically addictive, but it is mentally adictive. which is sometimes harder to break cause the core to the issue is deeper. He's been honest from the start with what he does & who he is. You were hoping that will change...it won't. One day maybe... But don't plan your life around that one day...cause it may never come. Decied what you want based on who he is. Not who you're hoping he'll be. He's says he's tired of fighting against MJ..he's giving up hope & he finds it to 'hard' (which it will be harder than the other addiction, because it's his last crutch to lean on...but he's GOT to be willing to fight for his life). As much as you'd like to battle it for him, there is nothing you can do. He's holding on to it, he's avoiding dealing with something in his life & he feels the need to 'escape'. He'd rather blame everything on the weed than take responsibility for his life & change things. He's got to believe in himself, believe he's strong enough to do kick this & he's got to WANT to take control of his life-rather than escaping it. I think you were very wise to move out.... I wish you much happiness.
  14. flower99
    I like this plan. Since there is No actual proof. You can't do much else. But your gut is telling you somethings up so of course you want to say something... So maybe ask him exactly like this, in front of your sister.....it's casual, direct & not screaming acusations, just 'i heard this..is it true' & his response will answer your questions.
  15. flower99
    So true... time to redefine those boundaries.
  16. flower99
    I feel for you...I'm the same, I'm at the point were I'm now starting to resent it & people ....ugh!! lol it can be a blessing. but sometimes a curse. Hazy ambers right, The more you give (of time or money..anything) the more people expect. What I've started doing, is start not offering & saying no more. And see people response, it's been showing me which are friends/guys to keep around & who to keep my distance, so I don't feel used. the good ones, understanding caring friends/guys. Will of course understand & still love you & even help you. The others, will be shocked, maybe offended, maybe still stand there & expect it from you. Keep your distance from them. People mistake kindness for weakness. Be strong and take care of yourself first.
  17. flower99
    I laughed.....lol well said......This sums it up perfectly....
  18. flower99
    I consider Seeing someone to be casual, no commitment, getting to know eachother to decied If you want to date them. And Dateing to be exclusive with commitment
  19. flower99
    has she ever asked how many people you've been with???if so just tell her 4. there is nothing more that needs to be said. You are a good man that has been faithful to her.
  20. flower99
    I would tend to think yes, it's because we like to feel attractive. And we feel attractive by putting emphasis on what we're proud of. I don't have big enough boobs for clevage & not so proud of them since having a baby....But I do wear tight pants cause my butt is what I'm proud of. I totally agree with Hazey Amber. If you're girlfriend does it because she believes it's the only way to be accepted by society, she's got some other issues & does it to be liked.
  21. flower99
    In a psychology class they taught that the divorce rate is much higher with couples who live together before marriage. For the reason - you practice marriage without the commitment.
  22. flower99
    my suggestion would be, take it slow don't contact her loads (like you said) But if you are both online, strike up conversation. Maybe talk a couple times, than check how she feels about getting together for coffee..see where it goes. Since she initiated conversation last time, that leads me to believe she is ready to talk & start some kind of relationship (whether it be friends, or dating..can't say) but she initiated conversation, so she's ready to talk. With out back round information as to how you hurt her? as well as how long it's been since you last spoke prior to this contact? I can't say much else. But if the hurt was something that requires some kind of sincere apology, give her that. She may not be so cold than wish you luck & happiness
  23. flower99
    Wow...these are great words. You've really been through a lot meantime. it's given you great insight. I wish you much happiness Definietly!!! your head knows before your heart does. it is a hard road, but it won't be done in vain. Every good thing you lose is replaced with something better.
  24. flower99
    it's a cycle. It will continue forever...or until you get out. you know what you need to do. You just have to build up your confidence again. Keep letting go everyday & trust you will be okay. You were a better women before you got in this relationship, you'll be a better women when you get out of it.
  25. flower99
    How do you pull yourself away when you love him???? Decied you love yourself more!!!!!!! you don't like what you're becoming, understandably so. So imagine what you'll be in 2 more years. This is unhealthy because it's going to kill the person you are.Take care of yourself and the person you want to be & do what's good for you. You've got to love more than you love him. Love yourself too much to risk losing yourself to him. it's going to be hard leaving. but not impossible & it will be the best thing you can do to save yourself & become the women you want to be. I wish you happiness!
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