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About Me

  1. I've been together with this guy for a few months now. It has been really nice, he is always there to help me. We cuddle a lot, spend a lot of time together. We have sex quite often, sometimes twice a day. There is only one thing that threw me off quite a bit. I noticed that he wasn't fully enjoying having sex with me. he lost his boner a few times when we were having sex, and he didn't really seem into it except when he drank. He actually said it to me one time. He wasn't able to drink enough that day otherwise we would have had amazing sex. I've talked about it with him and he only said the following: it was like a motorcycle, with some you can just hop on and drive away, with me he first had to start the engine but when eventually we were having sex he was enjoying it. My question is, what does he mean by this. I have tried to ask it again if he could explain it in more detail. Ever since he said it I've been feeling really self-conscious. The answer that he gave me made me really upset. We could talk about it forever, I'll never get it anyway. so there is no point. And nothing I could willingly do about it. He compared it with someone born without sight that is asking you to explain colors. I wouldn't understand because I am a woman besides other things. I hope you guys can help me understand him.
  2. Ok, another new topic from me, and this time w/ some good news. But I will get to that in a second. Im shy around people I dont really know (makes dates kinda amussing I guess). I know girls like a sweet guy (after she sees he is not a needy guy). Now, when Im w/ friends who I know, we flirt, cuddle, joke etc. But I just cant seem to do that around new people. I mean, I even have a hard time going up and talking to some one. I know Im a good looking guy, and I can joke w/ the best of them. What should I do to try and stop this string of shyness stopping me from talking to the hotties at a party? I mean, come on, I have what ppl seem to want, but how do I make the ladies want me? Now to the date. I talked to a girl online for no more than 45 min before asking her to lunch. No cemesty what so ever, but I went out on a limb and asked. I felt REALLY odd about this. But it got me a date. Thnx
  3. Hiya there everybody! Ok, I'm in a kinda weird situation. I'm bi-curious, and last night my best friend came round to sleep-over. She has done "things" with girls before, and I had too, but not very much. I was very curious, so, to cut a long story short we got into bed together and enjoyed it very much. Today, whilst she was still here, my boyfriend came round, and we somehow found ourselves in bed with each other, all cuddled up and touching each other. Nothing serious happened, I mean, he only touched her upper-half under clothes and lower-half over clothes, and I enjoyed watching him do it to her at the time. She seemed to be enjoying it which was a turn on for both me and my boyfriend. But later on in the day, when we'd long finished and I was cooking lunch for all of us, I started feeling really REALLY bad. Sick with myself, and I just wanted to escape the knowledge that I had let my boyfriend touch my best friend sexually and enjoyed it, and I wished more than anything that it hadn't happened. I felt jealous too, and worried in case he liked her body more than mine. He kept on about how "nice" her breasts were and stuff, and said that to see her and me together was a real turn on, though he felt a tiny bit jealous. So basically, what should I do? I never want it to happen again, but at the same time I do, but I don't want to feel wretched and stupid like this. What should I be thinking at the moment and how should I, a person with a very low esteem and low opinion of myself, whose boyfriend cheated on me once before and I could never trust again, whose now done this with my best friend, be taking this? Please, any advice would be most appreciated. Thanks Lottie xxx Ps: He said afterwards that he didn't do it to hurt me or because he fancied her or even liked her in that way. They only met today, so he'd only known her for an hour at the most. He said he preferred my body and said some funny, if a little insulting, things about her. He kept kissing me and cuddling me close when it was going on as if to reassure me and felt really bad about it afterwards apparently.
  4. ok well over winter break i met this girl at one of my friends house... i dont go to school with either one of them or anything... but we were at his house (there were like 10 of us there) and it was kind of a small party. we were just hanging out and somebody said we should watch a movie. so we stuck one in (i dont even remember what movie it was) but that girl sat next to me. about half way through the movie she leaned her head on my shoulder so i put my arm around her and we kinda cuddled for a lil bit. then she got thirsty and got a drink for me and her. when she came back she decided to sit on my lap instead of next to me which was definitely cool with me. so we reclined in the couch and cuddled and talked. didnt watch the movie at all. but anyways... the other guys went out to the hot tub and the two of us stayed there together. we kept on talking and she started kissing my neck and ...... other stuff happened... it ended up with me stopping her cuz we just met... and both of us are virgins and i just didnt think it was worth it right there... i asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said no... i was shocked and went home... about a week later she finally called me (i wouldve called her but i didnt have her # and i dont know her last name either lol and i dont know how she got mine)... anyways she said the reason she said no wasnt cuz she wasnt interested in me but it was because her parents are VERY overprotective. I asked her dad if i could date her and he straight up told me no. i asked if he would be alright with it if we had a dinner with them first or something so he could meet me and see what im like and he shot that idea down... he really just doesnt want her to date anybody... well we talked on the phone for a while after that without her dad knowing... but one day during our conversation he picked up the phone in the middle of our conversation and started yelling at her and grounded her from the phone... i guess all i want to know is what do you think i could try to see if her dad would ever let it happen... cuz im not gonna date her behind her parents back. i dont think it would work too well that way... thanks for reading this LONG post and replying...
  5. hey all, A few days ago, somebody asked for ways of loosing his gf without him actually saying its over. People responded by saying that shower her with affection, and tell her u love her every 5 mins, be extremly sensitive blah blah blah, and jus very nice to her and u'l come accross and desperate and she'l leave you. Now I by nature am a sensitive guy, if i love a gurl i'l go all out for her, and I lik to cuddle and show affection, not in excess thou. But I never knew it was a turn off for gurls!!!!!!!!!! yea i havent been in too many relationships, but is too much affection a turnoff? I can understand that if ur moving too fast, that could scare some gurls. Should i pretend im not that sensitive in my nex relationship even if i am? Any opinions appreciated.
  6. Has it been to long has our love went away, Have you thought about me am I over you today? When we talk are we getting close once again, Or is it just a friendly talk every now and then? When I come over and we cuddle and fall asleep, Is our love still there or is it burried to deep? Could I be getting over this or is my mind playing a game, Are you over me or is everything we had the same? I may be getting better but I am still so confused, But when I am with you I feel so amused. I can finally look at you with a smile on my face, But still the tear is there and it's something I cannot erase. So why am I like this why is this happening to me, Even though my eyes are open still it's you I see. My heart beats for you and in my heart you shine, If you no longer had a heart I would be there to give you mine. Whenever you need something or someone to be there, Call me up and let me know I will give you anything I can spare. When you are angry or even have a tear fall from your eyes, Dont be afraid to come to me and let out all of your cries. When you are in trouble or need someone to talk to, Just know that I will listen and be nothing but true. So just know that I love you no matter how things are, That somewhere out there I am never ever to far. Tell me what you think??
  7. hey all..... ok, so after every time my gf and i make out and what not she usually gets off or so i think. she usually grinds on me for a bit, and i finger her, and i go down on her..... and then afterwards, when cuddling and all that jazz, she says (nearly everytime) that her eyelids won't stop blinking.....its like they are spasming uncontrollably....so is this a sign that she has definatly gotten off, and that she has had an orgasm (perhaps multiple) and the eyelid thing is and afterglow affect? just wondering, -surfer349
  8. This isn't so much my problem as someone else's but it's buggin the hell outta me and my girl so I'd like to know what the rest of you have to say about it... My good friend "GUY" is going out with my girlfriends good friend "GIRL". They've been goin out for over 2 months now. They've both really liked eachother for a long time and after alot of convincing "GUY" finally asked "GIRL" out... "GIRL" wanted him to for such a long time... From what I see "GIRL" isn't serious about a relationship because it's only "highschool". "GUY" would like a relationship but nothing really serious. You'd think they'd be ok... Now, "GIRL" is very busy. "GUY" is always trying to do stuff with her even for like an hour a week or something but "GIRL" always says she's busy doing something like cleaning her room or visiting with her mom. So you get the distinct feeling she's avoiding "GUY". She can never find time for him. "GUY" is really disappointed and hurt but hides it. He has been avoiding talking to her for such a long time and "GIRL" really doesn't think there's a problem. Alot of people have talked to the both of them about it and both know now that there is indeed a problem. Me and My girl talk about it often on what we should do because if it goes on longer then someone or some people are gunna be really really hurt. It's also aggrivating people that they aren't doing anything about it and it's annoying to have to stand and watch this happen. "GUY" and "GIRL" think about eachother but thats really as far as it's gone. "GUY" tried cuddling with "GIRL" but apparently she didn't liek it cuz she was too figgity... They haven't kissed... It's been probably over 2 months... I'm sorry that was long and the GUY GIRL thing gets annoying but these people would murder me if they knew i was asking outside opinions... I most likly won't use all of your advice but possibly some if it's good but please give your thoughts and opinions... I'd appreciate and sorry if i've wasted anyone's time... - ST
  9. Yeah. today I had the girl I like come over, and we went swimming, and she put her arms around me and stared right into my eyes, and she started moving a bit... but I just stood there.. and she backed off.. she did that twice..... I hope I didnt miss my only chance to kiss this girll... But it was all good though, after that we cuddled alot.. All in all it was a good day...
  10. Hey ..I have a question about making my first move. well not necessarily that .. but say for example I was downstairs with my g/f on the couch watching a movie and I wanted to go upstairs to my room and felt she did too .. How would I do this without just standing up taking her hand and walking up the stairs. BORING!! I was thinking something like .. Cuddling a bit, then kissing .. neck, lips, etc .. Then taking her hand and chasing her up the stairs to my bed .. That way when we're there we would have already been started to get in the groove and it would be a lot easier to continue on to oral, etc ... That's my plan as of now .. Anyone else have an opinion?? Also since I can't have 2 threads one on page or w/e .. There's a girl that really acts like she wants me .. is there a for sure way to find this out .. I can't really ask because she's kind of seeign someone .. and I am too .. but I'm just curious to know lol .. and for future reference.. Thanks again!! Thanks in advance
  11. Well I asked this girl is she liked me striaght out because i my heart couldnt take the pain from holding it in, and she said she liked me only as a friend and that she doesn't want to lose me. And when i hung out with her, we had ice cream together, we cuddled, held hands, she put her head on my shoulder. Does she just like being flirtacious, having someone around like me, or is she afriad of going out with me? Sometimes she gives me signs and sometimes not. I like her a lot and cannot stop thinking about her. What do i do and does she like me or teasing me?
  12. Hello, Long story made short - X left me back in August. December, after a short stint with another guy, we began hanging out again. Everything was so wonderfull.. the no contact rule works wonders! I really thought everything was going to work itself out... Anyways, about a3 weeks ago, things went south. I found out later she started seeing another guy. From seeing her almost every night, it turned into her never calling me back, and never hearing from her.. This if course completely devastated me.. it brought up all those old feelings. We went to dinner the night before valentines day, and i put my cards on the table with her... she said I can do allot better, she can't give me what I want and I can't give her what she wants blah blah... the girls version of "I have met someone else.. I don't want to hurt you so I won't tell you whats actually happening" A couple of days later I wrote her that I didn't want to come over like we had been doing.. cuddlying.. having dinner etc... she wrote me back what did I have a date or something.. I wrote her back no, but I heard you did .. blah blah blah... I don't understand why you do this, I got over your other "rebound" or whatever (She didn't know I new about him)... I thought we we were now going to get married after everything we have been through. Anyways, she writes back saying sorry, she thought we were working on being friends.. and doesn't know what I'm talking about re other guys. We never had sex, but hugged each other, cuddled.. went out for dinner together.. careessed each other. I didn't think we were working on being friends? Friends don't do that? I wrote her back saying your a great pretty fun girl, but being friends is never going to work.. and I that would marry her now as I really know how much I care for her. Anyways, I havn't spoken to her since.. our paths have crossed a couple of times in the street.. she goes to the other side of the street. There are all these feelings inside me.. I so want to call her, ask her how she's doing.. hang out.. cuddle with her... I so wonder if I did the right thing.. I was so respectfull and patient waiting ... and now this? Worse of all, mondays my birthday.. I so want to hear from her, I hope she'll say something.. but probably won't. I guess I need somewhere to write my feelings down!
  13. went for dinner with the ex last night and everything was fine. at first she said she wanted to play the field to make sure i was the one but i said that if she does i ant going back as we have been here before She said she doesnt think that there is anyone better its that she is scared to committ Then we came home for a while and cuddled and she was talking about our future and i asked her if we would ever get married and she said it is a big possibility Thing is now she is gone although she said she would mail me i feel on tenterhooks and wonder what to do next Any advice would be greatly appreicated
  14. I have been seeing my girlfriend since the beginning of January. We hit things off really well. One small drawback (at least it felt like that at first) was that we live in two different cities about 2 hours apart. However, we talk almost every night on the phone and every other weekend we visit each other (I go there or she comes to me). We have made a small trip to the coast that was fantastic. It seems like every time we are together, everything is fantastic. We spend all sorts of time cuddling on the couch and going out and doing things (when possible). Things seem very good. I had knee surgery about 4 weeks ago and I have been stuck on crutches for the last month. Needless to say, I haven't been able to do much as far as biking or what we would normally do. She comes over here and we cuddle on the couch and watch movies, maybe go out to dinner or a comedy club. I'm just not able to be too active right now. On top of that, I started physical therapy a couple of weeks ago and I have not been sleeping much at all (an hour or two a night) because of the pain associated with that. One of the highlights of my day is to hear her on the phone at the end of the day and talking with her. I am just hoping that I am not too loopy or giving a bad impression because of my lack of sleep and what I am going through with my knee. We have not talked about the whole distance thing very much as we have only been dating since January. However, a girlfriend of a friend of mine was telling me that it is rare to find someone who is willing to wait very long for something to materialize as far as living together, etc. Now, up until then, I hadn't put too much thought into it. I just thought that since we were doing really well, that the conversation would happen eventually and that I would let her be the one to bring something up along that line. Besides, my girlfriend is intelligent and has good common sense. She doesn't seem to have a problem with the distance thing. My thinking about this is that this distance has forced us to learn good conversation up front. We talk on the phone every day and we have got a routine down for talking to each other. Some days we have more than other to talk about, but I have really grown to love hearing about her day and telling her about mine. That is something that never fostered that early in my past relationships. The other thing is that I really do miss her in between visits (and she misses me). We are essentially learning very good communication skills with each other up front and we tend to plan more things to do (once I can walk properly again). I suppose that from the work on my leg and lack of sleep that I may just get a little down. And, from that, I may just be wondering if I should bring up stuff about the distance and that reassure her that I do want us to live together eventually or if I should let the relationship grow as it has and not introduce things into it in conversation that really aren't there. I guess I am curious as to what would be going through her mind and what it is that she wants from the relationship and when/if she wants to live together in time. I have a very good career and a good house. She has a career that she likes (and then again doesn't like sometimes) and a house as well. I would never ask her to just up and leave where she lives. I would be totally willing to move to her and get another job. I am a software programmer with two bachelor's degrees and I really don't think I would have a problem getting work in that in any large city. I suppose I am just curious if anyone reading this would have some insight into whether I should be the one to bring up the distance thing and the issue of being closer in the future (since we have only known each other since January I also don't want to freak her out and make her feel like I am pressuring her or expecting anything). I suppose I am a little confuse (he he he, welcome to dating). Thanks
  15. hey i just need some advice on what to do rigth after my bf cums.i mean after a handjob or bj, we usually cuddle and stuff.but i wanna know if i should keep on touching him" there" or stroking him gently as a post-bj massage?? or does it hurt him if i keep my hands down there? should i remove them completely? i find it really sexy to keep on touching him after he's done. any insights?
  16. Recently my ex and I have started to hang out a little more than we have been lately. Since our breakup 3 months ago we have stayed friends and talked semi-frequently. I have written on here before in regards to getting back together with her, but now I have another dilema. Since our breakup we have had intercourse one time, and that was over 2 months ago. Since then, we have not done anything physical with each other and she has told me she doesn't want to do anything like that because she doesn't want to give me "the wrong idea". Well in the past week, we have seen each other 3 times. Each time per her request. The first time she suggested we watch a movie, so she came over to my house and we watched a movie. Ended up being 2 movies. The thing that is confusing me, is that during that time we cuddled, held hands, etc and she didn't have a problem with that and said that I did not make her feel uncomfortable. We did not kiss, touch sexually, or anything like that. The other night, I went to her place, we sat on the couch and I waited for her to make the first move, and sure enough, she laid down into me and we cuddled and she ended up falling asleep with her head on my leg. Again, no kissing or anything sexual. My question is, is this normal??? I mean if we are just "friends", I dont think that this would be going on. I would like to think that it's a sign that maybe she is regaining interest in getting back together, but I could be totally off base here. I am trying my best not to think about it or read into it too much, but it does make me curious and I really do wonder why she would want to be doing that. I'm sure some of your responses will be for me to ask her, which is probably the best thing, but if I do she may become upset of me asking questions and I don't want to ruin anything. Say she gets upset or something and then stops doing all of that stuff. I guess then I would know that it doesn't mean anything. It's flattering but at the same time it's confusing the heck out of me.
  17. I've been dating this guy for about 2 weeks now. We hang out quite a bit, and get along really great. We always greet eachother with a hug, and depart eachother with a hug as well. We're going out on my boat tomorrow, and I was wondering. What are some ways to make it known that you're ready to be more intimate? Not intimate in the sexual sense, but holding hands, cuddling, maybe a kiss or two?
  18. Hi my name is Brent im 19 heres my thing Me and my girlfriend who is 17 have been going for a month and things looked SO perfect .. Then out of no where she is like , im confused and she is not sure what she wants , she says its not me , its all her . We went out today and things at first were bad, just silence then we talked and then we went to eat to talk more , we talked a lot , she sayed that she doesnt know if she is just scared , or nervous or what, i am her first boyfriend and I know that makes it hard when she is not used to it yet .. I dont know at first i thought that it was just going to be a little phase but then she is like away, no holding hands , cuddling or kissing is going on .. Even things like nicknames are no longer being used , usually at night we will talk on AIM since its easiest to do , and she is just getting weird and i mean she always Calls me babe and now she isnt calling me it .. I dont know what to do , she is going to make up her mind soon BUT im now just getting irritated its been 2 dayz , and i told her she can have a week. Now im just Blah , I am performing VERY badly at work , Im a cashier at wal mart and people are asking me whats wrong , cuz im not smiling or anything , cuz im hurting knowing that I may lose her .. I told her that Im here for her NO matter what she decides to do , Im now thinking that she is going end it NO matter what .. But im not sure even on that .. Well is there anything that any of you would do in this situation ? I mean i dont want to lose her , she really is special and great for me .. hope someone can help me thnx , PP
  19. There is this guy whos my kinda boyfriend (thats a whole different story) We act really the same as we would if we were going out but we just havent put that title on it because of complicating reasons (his most recent ex is my best friend) We cuddle all the time and everyone is always like ''WHY ARENT YOU TWO GOING OUT YET???'' to me its not that big of a deal to actually put the lable on it, but eh. I always think about him, like when i get bored i remember the times we share, and when im falling asleep. Is this just me or maybe does he think about me as much as i think of him, or at least a little bit?
  20. what's up guys?,....i've got a problem and it's a big one!!.I meet up with an old private-elementary school mate after 10 odd years,it was a relatively small school,everyone knew everyone since students parents worked in the same company!...anywayz so i meet up with her by last summer at this club i frequent,and i remember literally staring at her through the crowd thinking "i know this girl from somewhere!!"......picture this,she's about 5' 5",black,curly,short hair,dark-brown eyes,pretty eyelashes(these eyes will turn a block of granite to a slurpy!!!!),sweet,full lips,with a smile to die for!!,breasts are kinda small,but she really makes up for it in ass!!!,.....anywayz,....back to my story,so(put your tongues back in your mouth),...anywayz i'm staring at her the whole night,then i coincidentally meet another friend who went to the same private school that we went and well,the rest is history,i went up to her she gave me her no.,i called her we hit it off,for like a weeks we would mainly talk on msn,she would flirt with me/compliment me alot.....she would be the aggressor,calling me from school (she goes to university,and stays on campus),...so anywayz i enede up going by her and after ah while i'm cool with her moms cuz she was the nurse at our school ,we'd go in her room and make-out do shit(no sex),for ah while it went on ,we'd go out,we'd do shit,'d get physical,i'd finger her ,.....now i left out an important part we went on a date after all the talkin' and msn thing and we kissed an that's how the fling started,since then and all the months,she said she didn't want to be a couple,she says let's just have fun and she doesn't want to be ah couple,she wants to leave her options open....!!!......so anywayz 2 weeks b4 valentines day,now in our country we have carnival which is what the name sugests ah 2 day thing that has pre and post carnival parties......anyway we planned to hit them but we'd not be as a couple per say,cuz it would be awkward as her dorm friends and her would be out as a group......anywayz 2 weeks b4 valentines(5weeks ago),...she says she just thinks we should be friends and not to waste my time on her and i'm perfect and she doesn't know what she wants and she doesn't want to hurt me,so we leave it there(this was a saturday)......she tells me on msn that following tuesday that she missies me but she still doesn't know what she wants,but she know she has feelings for me,i told her i have feelings for her too and i wanted us to be a couple,she says she'll think it over and get back to me the thursday,she nevr did,but she sms's me and tells me she hopes to see me at a fete the same friday,i wait at the entrance of the party a couple hours wating for her and her crew,she comes and more or less plays off any kind of attachment to me,she dances with other buys the entire night and ignores me,......our dance culture is very exotic,so it's that much painful to see someone u like dancing with other guys,......so she comes once for te entire night and "checks up on me".....and that was it,....i left the fete passed her on my way out givin' her a "look",....i didn't call her,she didn't call me,......sunday i see her at another fete i pretend not to see her ,apparently she saw me but "she didn't think i wanted to see her becuz of the friday"..so didn't approach me,.....i see her huggin' some guy(they weren't doing anything), but they were close....i'm pissed again,not getting any sleep,the following week we talk and she appologises and says she didn't know that she hurt me and blah,blah,blah...she said she didn't want any attachment in front of her friends to avoid awkwardness and questions she couldn't answer,so i fooloshly give in,not blindly,but nonetheless foolishly,and i ask her what she thinks about us and.......she tells me she'll think about it and to come up to her dorm that wednesday,so i go there,she shows no sign of disappointing news,and i play along we cuddle,kiss,we're on her bed,she puts on a blue-movie,we just watch(i'm horny as hell).......after about 20mis. her roomate walks in and she's like to me softly"i was rehearsing this all day,basically i've been manifesting my feelings for someone else onto u!..........so ah'm pissed,i don't call her,but i shit her up on msn about it and she's like there is no other guy like she said it was just something she said ,,,,and that i'm so perfect and sensitive and she's ah waste of time and blah blah,so i end up going to a lime around her area and she's like pass and meet her by her dorm after if i wanted ,so i did bout 11:30 and we went in her room,cuddled on her bed and i basically made moves on her with no-response and that was it, i left,.... we talk about fetes that we were planning on going(not together),......i called her later that week she promised to call and she didn't , so i didn't and that was 3weeks ago...we talked earlier ths week on msn(we've been ignoring each other online).....and she tells me to collect a chain i left at her house and i know what thay means,we end up talking about how she treated me and she had excuses for all and apologees,in the end i asked her how she felt about me,she said she doesn't know,i ask her if she had been with anyone the past few weeks she said no,she said but in the past WEEK YES!...she said she met a guy and they haven't been as close as we have (dunno if they did anything)....i ask if there's an "us",...she said there hasn't been for ah while.....i told her b4 when she told me to collect my chain that she could do what she wanted wtih it ..discard it if necessary...and she's like she'll keep it cuz it means something to her a particularly fun episode in her life.........i ask her if she likes the guy she said as much as u can like someone inna week yes... i instanl left the chat ...she sent me ah forwarded joke-e-mail later this week and i told her in an e-mail that i'd appreciate her not sending me any messages or e-mails.....there has been silence sine(that was mon.)...........what should i do,.....give up on her....i can't get her out my head aND I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS FOR HER PLZ.....SOMEONE GIMME AH SUGGESTION ON THIS!!!!!
  21. My best friend recently broke up with her b/f about 2 months ago. After the broke up she started spending a lot more time with me. Just recently we got out of school and have spent ever day together and almost ever night. We spend a lot of time at our friends house watching movies at night and a lot of time she wants to cuddle with me. She once told me while we were cuddling that we both need a b/f and g/f. She also said, "Its good that we have each other so we have someone to cuddle with when we don't have anyone else." She always hugs me and stuff in public, and sits near me and kinda hangs on me sometimes. Sometimes I feel like i having feelings towards her but I really don't know. There is another boy that she likes but he is pentacostal and i doubt they will ever be together. I do not know if she has feelings toward me and I'm afriad to ask incase i mess up our friendship. What do ya'll think? Me and her both are 17. Cya'll later
  22. I'm having trouble getting the first kiss off on this girl...i guess u could say we have been dating about 3 days...we have gone out ever night since Friday. We were not alone on these dates though, we were with friends but we were alone when i was driving her to where ever we went...we have cuddled, held hands, i've grabbed her ass, huged her, but when it comes to the first kiss i become really nervous and try calming my self down but I can't get myself to do it. The first time we went out i droped her off at her house and walked her to the door, an no one was around, which is a perfect setting, but i just huged her (but i was really sick from the dinner and didn't wanna kiss her then throw up (wouldn't look good). The second night I walked her to the car but a friend of ours was with us and i just huged her again...and then last night we watched a movie together and cuddled (our friends where there again with their g/f's and b/f's) and I walked her to her car but their were people around again and i just huged her. I talked to her online last night and we talked about kissing and I told her how it took me till my 4th date to kiss my first g/f and i get really nervous and feel like im gonna do something wrong, she said she is the same way. I need some help getting the first kiss over with, what are some techniques for calming yourself down? How should i do it? What poistion should i hold her in? and should i use my tongue or just give her a mouth kiss?
  23. I started hooking up with this guy about two weeks ago, and he says he really likes me but he's very busy every day (we're in college and he has more classes than me and more extracurricular activities). He also has to go to bed early and I always stay up late and sleep late. We've slept together twice but after the last time we decided we shouldn't for a while, because it was way too soon, but we want to get to know each other better. The other day we had a dinner date and he didn't show up and didn't call until an hour and a half later. We finally had dinner tonight, and afterwards we were cuddling together and I said "We should take a nap together sometime." He said, "Well you could just crawl into bed with me when I'm sleeping." I'd really like to do that, but I don't want him to think I just jump at the chance to do whatever he wants me to do and he can just expect me to show up whenever he says and he can just blow me off and I'll still be at his beck and call.
  24. First off, I would like to say thank you to whomever helped me with a previous dilemma, that has been worked out and we are now on good terms. I have a different problem now however with a different girl, and I want to see if you all agree with me on how I should handle it. It could get long, but I'll try my best to keep it to a minimum. To start off, the girl is 18 and a freshman in college, and I am 21, and a junior. I first met her through friends at a bi-weekly dance party (I am part of the group that puts them on, along with these friends), and after that night I didn't have any contact with her until last Monday night (a period of a few weeks), when I was invited over by one of her friends to her room to play cards and drink a little. Throughout the whole time I was over there, I found myself looking in her direction a lot, and vice versa. I hinted to one of her friends, who happens to be one of my best friends as well, that I liked her. Apparently, the girl felt the same way, and she told my friend that if I would ask her out, she would accept. The next night, we watched a movie together, and cuddled in bed afterwards, where she initiated hand-holding and kissing. I wasn't about to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable, unless she made the first move. She left around 1:30 that morning due to having an early-morning class. Same thing happens the next night, except I am with her in her room. I left at around 1 AM due to also having an early class, and also due to her bed being a little smaller than mine (I am a big guy) so it was hard to get comfortable at all. The next night is another one of those dance parties, and not many people show up. I ask her to dance, but she is rather shy, as she doesn't like to dance when there aren't a lot of people around. But here's the strange thing - she has initiated almost everything. MSN conversations, handholding, kissing, etc. She even has invited me over to her room often in the past few days, and often messes with me when I am there. We talk 2-3 times a day online. Pretty much the only thing I have initiated at all so far were a few MSN conversations, and I asked her out to a movie this upcoming week, to which she replied that she would have to get back to me on it, which is fine. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's just strange that the physical contact (cuddling, not sex) just stopped immediately...I understand that she is a freshman in college, I was one once, and that she has to become more comfortable with herself, as well as others. I don't want a relationship right off the bat, just some more opportunities one-on-one with her, to get a better idea of what she's like, which so far, I like. I don't have solid feelings for her, but she did make me feel a way I hadn't felt in a while...a sense of completeness. Now for my question: Should I talk to her about how I feel, or just wait a little bit to see if she confronts me? If she didn't like me, I don't think she would talk to me so often or want to spend time with me much. There's more, but I'll cut it off here. Let me know if you have any comments, insight, or if you need clarification on anything. Thanks again for reading.
  25. Hi everyone. I've read through as much as possible and I'm still not quite sure where to post this so feel free moderator to move it if necessary. I don't kn ow whether or not to give you the full story as it is quite long - it can be found at my home page btw. The story goes: I was a religious fundamentalist and a virgin at 32 because I was 'keeping myself'. She was a 'white witch' and fairly liberal in her sex life. We met at work. I was disillusioned with my faith and I gave myself to her. It was great but we hit trouble immediately. I confessed my 'sins' to my church. They told me to break up. She tried to convert but stopped halfway which left her in a psychological mess. We hung on to each other for dear life and fought everyone to stay together. I lost most of my social world/church life. I was sorta disfellowshipped. We moved in together. We had some terrible rows because of the pressures on us - for the first year I felt really guilty after sex even though I enjoyed it while I was doing it. Her grandmother died, my grandmother and then my uncle died. We moved to another county and I went to college. She helped support me through it but hated her job. She kissed some other guy at a New Years party - we fought. She kissed and fondled another guy at a wedding about 4 month's later. We got married July 19th 2002. Xmas 2002 she had a sexual 'indiscretion' with a mutual friend from Spain - she insists they didn't have intercourse. I was doing my exams - we had a row that lasted weeks - I got him sacked from his job and he had to leave the country. I almost had a nervous breakdown and had to be sedated by my doctor. We patched things up and seemed to get along for 6 months when she went to another city to a party. There was a communication blackout on her part for a day and I lost it because this had been her m.o. before when she was being unfaithful. We fought for several days and she blocked me out. I had no job, no religion and seemingly no wife - I took an overdose. She broke into our house and 'rescued' me. We moved to another city and started going to therapy. Last xmas while I was in another city working she called to say she was leaving me. I've been crying on and off for 7 months. We've done the NC bit and broken it. We've met and discussed stuff. We've kissed and cuddled. I have tried everything possible to bring us back together but she has frustrated it all the way. Yet she comes to me and sends me messages saying that she has always loved me and still loves me. She asked me a couple of weeks ago to go out with her again to try to rebuild then the next day she backed down again. We were supposed to have a day out yesterday as a precusor to starting together. I asked her to clarify another of her 'indiscretions' that she had 3 months ago. After kissing and cuddling with me two weeks in a row she kissed and cuddled some other guy at a party. She said at the time that she knew him from work but refused to elaborate. She said that it didn't count as being unfaithful because we were separated (even though she was still kissing and cuddling me?). I asked her last Saturday to clarify what had happened before we went out on Sunday - she refused. I asked her was she still seeing him - her answer: "I refuse to answer that". I asked her to assure me she wouldn't two-time me again - her answer: "I can't give you that assurance". I went home and texted her. Told her she was the most dishonest, distrustful and deceitful person I knew. Two hours later she replied saying: "I'm not seeing anyone else, you're doing this to yourself". I was stunned. Why would she deliberately mislead me? Why would she play a game like this? I'm heartbroken all over again. I've changed my phone number and I've decided that if she wants to communicate with me again she'll have to do it with the therapist present. I honestly felt like I was losing touch with reality over the weekend. I feel like I'm in a waking nightmare. How do you get over someone? How do you cut them outta your life? I've made new friends, got a new place to live and a new job - all that's left is to never see her again - yet I'm afriad to do that - when we were good we were great but when we were bad we were terrible. I really believe she has serious psychological issues when she can play games with my heart and mind like that.
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