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About Me

  1. My ex and I had been together for 10 months now. Early, he used to spend time with me, we used to talk often, laugh, have fun. He made me his world. After 4 months or so he started getting distant and stopped spending time with me. When I confronted him, he said that he thought I was using him and that his sister said I was using my past as a way to gain sympathy and love ( I had been through an abusive relationship a couple of years ago) He added he didn't fall for all that but due to cultural and religious differences he thought this was the best excuse to push me away. Drama happened we cried, talked things out and every thing went back to normal for a while. Again he started pulling back, being indifferent, preferring his friends over me. I had no idea why. But he said he was depressed and that I wasn't being supportive by complaining all the time that he wasn't as talkative and loving as before. I often felt hurt and started to get insecure about our relationship and I would get emotional over little things. He explicitly stated that his female friends held precedence over me especially one friend who he says he like a sister because he knows them longer than me. I felt upset and said that I was not his priority. He got all defensive that he didn't mean it like that. "Just because I prefer pizza over pancakes. Doesn't mean I hate pancakes." His blame shifted to me, that I am the reason he was getting indifferent because I wouldn't stop creating drama. His opinion was that I was making a mountain of a mole hill over petty issues. I don't think cancelling our date three times..or not being there for me when I have a bad day was too trivial. However considering that he was feeling overwhelmed and hurt by all the pressure I was seemingly putting on him. I promised I will try to change that. Later he asked for a break, but insisted he wanted to keep talking and hanging out with me. It was really strange that he was more at ease when on a break than otherwise. He stated that my expectations were high in this relationship and he can't keep up with them so he needs space to figure it out. He felt he was becoming numb. But we will be going on date on my birthday and that I was important to him. He still cares for me. My birthday came, he texted me a happy birthday. I asked if he would call. He simply said..no because I will get the wrong idea. I got a bit upset. I asked if the date was still on and he says "Its unlikely that will happen". I panicked and asked I wanted to talk what was going on. But he kept ignoring me the entire evening and went off to play video games. I got furious, I had held resentment from the past few months and I left a voicemail crying that I am tired of his indifference and lack of empathy. I felt unimportant and didn't hold much value in his life. And he doesn't message or talk to me again". At night he responds saying that I am only hurting myself in all this and making him responsible for hurting me. He broke up with me. After a few days we talked over the phone. He said he didn't know whether he wanted me in his life anymore. I created too much drama. I should have accepted the fact that he remembered my birthday and texted me. About the date, he said he "became " and forgot about it completely and that he was sorry, he doesn't us spending good time together. "You are not good enough"...that's what he exactly said. He was in fact paranoid and scared of meeting me. We decided to give each other space for a couple of weeks. His friend told how he had taken off a week from work since he was so upset. Later when I talked with my ex again, he stated he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. I proposed maybe we should talk things through and spend some time together and see how it goes. He repeated the same thing that he was sorry but he thinks he will never have feelings for me again. Then he said he wasn't good enough for me. Some things in the past turned him off. His reasons were that it was both his and my fault for him losing his feelings. He sarcastically added that I could have a second shot at the relationship if I could reverse time. He wants to be friends though. I told I had still feelings and can't be friends right now. And have gone NC since then. I just don't understand what did I do wrong? All I ever asked was to be treated with love and respect and suddenly that is "high expectations". I wanted us back together and work things out. But I guess I hurt him too much and he doesn't love me anymore. How can he just lose feelings, in a couple of weeks and say he can never have them again? I feel guilty and sad. I can't seem to concentrate on anything anymore. Any advice on this situation?
  2. Happy Birthday my lovely friend ...10 years have gone by in a blink love ( and we were only early 40's sob ) I wish you a happy day and much love and kindness and happy blessings on this ...the strangest birthday I hope you ever have xxxxx I LOVE YOU XXXXX
  3. I found the You Tube Channel of a friend who I no longer have contact with on any level. I worked with her, We were good friends, I was toxic our friendship ended but we still worked together I got help left her alone (Unless something work related happened which was rarely) I don't know why maybe she saw me grow as a person and she told a mutual friend that she wanted to be friends with me again. I was both happy and scared. Happy that she saw me grow as a person but scared if we became friends again I would fall back again. I told the mutual friend that I have nothing but love for this person because by God putting her in my life I felt so blessed that I grew as a person, So anyway a few months later I got a transfer and I knew I was never going to see or hear from this person ever again (unless God has other plans) I thought about saying nothing but then I though no, This person was special to me and God blessed me by putting her in my life. So I gave her a little good bye ceremony. She had told me she wanted to be writer so I gave her a blank journal and wrote some inspirational things, I told her she was a blessing in her life. I gave her three ribbons two blue one pink, I said it was symbolic since I was not going to be around The pink was if she ever had a baby girl. The blue was for a baby blue and the last blue was if she ever got married and needed something blue. The final thing I gave her a pen which I had engraved with an acronym starting with her initials and the letters MJBYLYAKY GB which I told her was acronym for MAY JESUS BLESS YOU LOVE YOU AND KEEP YOU GOD BLESS. Saying goodbye like this made it so much easier to let go and I hope it did the same for her too, I am not saying I never think of her or I never miss her or that I never reflect back on my mistakes sometimes. But I just want her to be happy in her life, Anyway for some unknown reason I looked at her You Tube channel and I noticed she changed her profile pic (She had not posted in many years so I just assumed it was doormat) So an idea came into my head to wish her a happy birthday but how do I do this on a public forum and not embarass her (One of my toxic traits was that I did not respect social media boundaries to say the least. So how do I do this,My you tube channel does not have my name but she might be able to guess it was me For example I might wright something like For all those out there who like Michael Jackson and don't want to BEAT IT (The song) I would like to wish you all a very Happy birthday and for a special friend who because God put that person in my life I grew as a person May Your Silver (she turns 25) year and every year after bring you closer to your golden dreams. The end, My meaning is for it to be an eternal birthday wish,Kind of to let her know in a way that although our season in life is over, She is not forgotten. BUT I am torn about whether this is a good idea or not. Part of me says It is a great idea and might make her birthday a little bit special. and ANOTHER part of me says Leave it alone. The way you said goodbye was more than enough Thank You all in advance for taking the time and any opinions that will help me decide one way or the other,\
  4. Hello everyone, I need some advice. So I have been with my partner for going on 4 years this August. He is a very nice guy who I love. There a just a few issues that I am not happy about. I just turned 27 and he is 28 years old . Both are entrepreneurs ( just explaining this for a little background). He can be a bit selfish in some ways. If we go to get some food and the bill is $20 he asks me to send him $10 which I don’t mind doing however, I used to treat him to dinner all the time just being nice. I stopped doing that because he barely reciprocates. He literally tries to split everything down the middle. I remember going to the laundromat one time and I had 2 dollars in cash and my debit card. My wash was 2.75 he asked me if I had the $2.75, I said I have $2 but I could take money out of the ATM. His wash was $8 and he had a $20 bill on him. Instead of him loaning me a $1 he let me take out $20 from the atm with a $4 transaction fee. When it comes to sex he hasn’t went down on me in almost a year but he always just pulls his pants down and expects oral which I do smh. I told him that he hasn’t gone down on me in almost a year and he said he will start doing it. This was almost two months ago. He said we can hold out until my birthday which was on April 16th, 2020. My birthday comes he gave me a card that he got from the dollar store the day before. Which I was thankful for. Then he said we were going to get lunch and took me to McDonald’s. He then said we were going to eat somewhere for dinner and when we went to the Columbian restaurant the restaurant was out of food. He winded up getting himself something and I didn’t get anything for dinner on my birthday. I asked him could we try to eat at the Columbian place the next day to make it up and he said yes. The days came and went and he has not mentioned treating me to dinner. Remind you it is quarantine time so I get that things are closed. However, him taking the extra effort to see if some other restaurants had food or even cooking me dinner would’ve been so appreciated. I cook everyday and I go down on him whenever he wants. I talked to him about 4 times about why he doesn’t go down on me and he says he will do it next time. He doesn’t aim to please me during sex at all. We never have date nights only if I suggest them. I used to get him gifts throughout the year but I stopped because he was always taking but never randomly did nice things for me. Every time we have alone time he’s always talking about his business 24/7. He never asks how I’m feeling emotionally or if he does he turns the question back around to it being about him. He is funny, smart and attractive. I never have to worry about other women and when I complain about something he does try sometimes. Am I wrong for not feeling satisfied in the relationship? Or even calling off the engagement? Please let me know. Thank you
  5. So I’m turning 19 next month, I have been with my boyfriend for the past 7 months, he is a few years older than me. I absolutely love giving gifts and really try hard to make them very thoughtful. My boyfriend is taking me on a weekend trip for my birthday which I love and am very excited for. However I found out today, he also ordered me a pair of $150 vibrating panties. I know I mentioned before that the idea of having a pair seemed like fun to me, but I never wanted him to buy me a pair, especially not for my birthday. His past gifts just haven’t been romantic and I feel like this one isn’t either. Not sure if I’m just overreacting though, I would love some advice, thanks in advance!
  6. So I met this new guy and he lives kinda far from me. He has visited and everything was great. But i acted on my fight or flight response when hed take a while to message back. To make it worse bc i consulted friends for there comfort they messaged him trying to help Behind my back and told me after. After a day of silence he said yeah we cant talk anymore. But then a few days after that wished me a happy birthday I said thank you and and made a joke about it it's the following day. No response. No happy birthday the next day. Is there a way to fix this why would u bother saying happy birthday after u said u couldnt talk anymore? I really would like to be able to talk again. And realize what I did wrong here.
  7. I have the best relationship with my boyfriend and I’ve never been happier in a relationship than I am now. We spend almost every day together and love each other’s company. I have seriously never been happier. But sometimes he goes out with his friends and I’m left at home by myself, which is fine! I’m not one of those girlfriends that doesn’t let her boyfriend go out! I love that he has friends and goes out and has fun, but it makes me feel lonely because I don’t have any friends and I don’t have anyone to talk to or anywhere to go when he’s not around. I used to have quite a few friends but I’ve slowly been pulling myself away because I’ve realised that they’re not the best friends. So now I’m feeling incredibly lonely. I spent my birthday crying to my boyfriend because I had no friends to celebrate my 20th birthday with. And I feel bad for burdening him with my problems. Most of the time I’m fine with not having friends but as time goes by it gets to me more and more and I’m scared that I’m the future im going to end up depressed because of it. I have a bit of a past with mental health so I’m scared I’m going to fall into that again. I guess I’m just after some reassurance. Is it normal to not have any friends but still have an amazing relationship?
  8. I went through a lot of trauma in life and learned very early on that my thoughts, feelings and opinions don't matter. To this day, it's hard for me to open up to people and to speak up when necessary. This has been causing problems in my relationships, because the closer people get to me, the more they realise how little they actually know about me. I like talking about facts, so my boyfriend for example knows my birthday, my favourite kind of cake and that I dislike being out in the rain. But he doesn't know how I feel about my birthday, or why I like that certain kind of cake, or what's the matter with rain. It's not that he hasn't asked, but I simply don't know what to say. As soon as my own feelings are involved, things get hard. I'm terrified to be rejected if I put my feelings into words, and I can't seem to get over it. People always joke that I've literally told them every detail of my day without mentioning myself or how I felt about something even once. It feels lonely in my world, and I want to share what's on my mind with those I'm close to. I wish I knew how to overcome this.
  9. I was with my Ex for almost 5 years. I had posted a thread on here explaining it. We split up around July of last year, and have not spoken a single word to each other after November 1st. We remained Facebook friends, up until a week ago when she posted a new cover-photo with her rebound boyfriend (They've been together since we last had contact) and quickly unfriended me. Out of the blue, completely unexpected. I was kind of upset she unfriended me, as we had kept in touch just by liking each other's posts occasionally. Which wasn't ideal, but not contacting her first-hand made it easier to move on with my life and helped me cope. I'm still coping, I am. Even 96 days after our last conversation. But, it has indeed gotten easier. My birthday was 2 days ago. I was casually just sitting at home on my day off alone, and I get a text. The very last person I expected to wish me a happy birthday, did exactly that. It caught me completely off guard, and I spent over an hour debating on whether or not to reply. A sudden rush of emotions flooded me. Her: "Just wanted to wish you a happy 24th birthday, I hope it's a good one, and I hope you're doing good." Me: "Thanks young lady. I'm doing good. I wish you the same." That was it, she didn't reply (I ended it with a closing style statement just to avoid a converstation). 3 months ago, I would've killed to recieve a text from her. Now, I just feel confused, and lost. It brought back many demons I shut out. Many glimmers of hope still cross my mind like a pest that I try to rid away. What if she was thinking about me? What if she misses me, but is too-stubborn to reach out? Or what if she is just seeing if I would reply? Maybe to see if I am holding a grudge? I still talk to her family monthy, her parents and I were and still are very close, we just keep things about "her" distant/not talked about. I don't know. All I know is that no-contact has helped me cope and let me spread my wings. I guess now, the counter is reset. But I feel, indifferent. Most days, I find myself thinking about her many times, it does get easier, but her texting me set me back a few steps. But I chose to be indifferent, and reply to her. Part of me hopes this is a foreshadow of what is to come, perhaps she will reach out again much later in the future, but the damaged-part of me knows not to give my hopes up because she cannot be trusted, nor be a partner, ever again, after what she did to me. I like to consider myself a strong and independant man, but thinking of all the stuff I went through because of her, left part of me in pieces. And I am unsure of whether or not they can be pieced back together, ever again.
  10. My ex and i were together for 8yrs. We are in our early 40s. We were also engaged. Our relationship had hit really bad/stressful time. So he broke up w/me about 7months ago,and i moved back home. He now has a new woman,she is now pregnant! Anyway i just discovered via facebook that now they are engaged, and she announced it on my birthday! Did he just seriously propose to my replacement on my birthday? SMH!
  11. Hey everyone, I'm breaking this into two parts so you can skip the backstory bit if you want. BACKSTORY So last year I started dating a female friend. We've been close friends for 10 years now and both belong to the same group of friends. The last few years she's been away at Uni and travelling but every time she comes back we always partner off to talk about things, including relationships. She's always been great for giving me advice and vice versa. Last year at a party, she drunkenly admitted she'd always had feelings for me. I reciprocated and we kissed. The next few weeks we found ourselves meeting in private and started having sex. We started dating after that but still tried to keep it quiet to our friends but obviously they all found out. Things were amazing for a while and i think she loved me or at least she said she did. Things got bad when she went back to Uni for her last year. It was fine while she was over there, talked every day made sure we kept each other in the loop. But when I went to visit in February, after the first few days, we ended up arguing over stupid stuff and she got uncharacteristically upset about things. I ended up leaving on weird terms. After a week she ended things, saying she thought she was ready for a relationship but isn't. I was absolutely gutted. She said she wanted to stay friends but all we'd do is argue over the phone and message for the next month. When she got back, we agreed to meet and realised the chemistry was still there. We carried on meeting a lot and fell back into sleeping together. We agreed to dial things back a bit and begin by seeing each other. I was happy again, things were great and the arguments stopped. She went back to Uni, we talked every day, she finished up and came back by the beginning of this summer. THE SITUATION Since then we've seen each other a few times a week. Gone on holiday, done pretty much everything together. There's not been a single day when we haven't talked and planned out our weeks together. She even started staying at mine and hanging out with my family while I'm at work. Well back in September she broke her leg and ended up on crutches. She came to see me the first week but since she lives in a different city said it was gonna be hard for her to come over again. I offered to come see her as usual but suddenly she started making excuses. I didn't think much about it until it started getting ridiculous. She did come up once but spent the entire time on her phone and left early the next day to go meet friends. I'd booked off two weeks at the end of last month for my birthday where we'd planned to go away for a week and then the next week I was having a birthday meal and party. The weeks before this she started to message less and less, kept making excuses and was suddenly busy seeing friends all the time. I finally started to ask what the hell was going on and she kept making excuses. We didn't go away because of her leg apparently and then she didn't even go to my meal and turned up to my party late. She acted distant and then left early when she said I was acting distant. We've talked on and off since then until finally she told me last week that she's met someone. She's apologised for hurting me but she just doesn't think we work anymore. I told her I'm absolutely heart broken but she's downplaying the whole thing saying she thought we'd stopped seeing each other a while back and were just hanging out as friends which is bull. I don't know what to say. I've literally just completely lost her. She said she wants to stay friends but that'll be it. I told her I didn't want to. Well the horrible part was that it was her's and another friend's joint birthday this weekend. I didn't wanna go but all our mutual friends begged me and I didn't wanna be rude to him. The night started off alright, it sucked obviously because she was there and I just felt like crap for the most part. She tried to talk to me but I was still hurt. Later in the night, she starts an argument because apparently I'd talked crap about her which wasn't true as I hadn't said anything to anyone about the situation. I went home and she rang to apologise and asked to come over so we could talk. We did but after I explained that I've still got feelings and it's not fair on me, she started crying and ended up leaving. She apologised again over message the next day and said she'd miss me. A few hours later I get a message saying that her new guy is annoyed at her for coming to mine last night and she can't speak to me anymore. I messaged this morning to see if that was it and if we were just not gonna talk anymore. She said she wants to but we can't atm, maybe in the future we can meet to talk. I'm absolutely gutted. I've never felt so alone. I just feel like everything's been pulled away from me all of a sudden and my future's gone. I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that she just doesn't want me anymore and she's long moved on and see's me as not even a friend anymore. It's her actual birthday today and I don't even know what she's doing. I'm just out of the loop and by myself. What's worse is that I'm supposed to be going to a christmas meal with friends next month and she'll be there. I've paid a lot of money for it and I don't even know if I can go. I'm gonna have to see her and know she's happy and with someone else. What do I do?
  12. I have never liked the fall/winter season, I miss the long sunny days and warm weather. Any tips on how to enjoy winter? I'm looking forward to my birthday and Christmas, but I feel like all my friends stay at home and watch Netflix. I do have a busy routine but the short rainy days are not fun.
  13. I have an awful feeling I am late ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I haven't missed it in years But anyway ....Happy Birthday my lovely friend I hope you had/are having a wonderful day Love you vic xxxxxx
  14. I was looking for advice my bf of 6 years who I was saving for a house with split up with me the day after my 30th birthday after surprising me on my birthday with a trip away and lots of gifts. I am absolutely devastated as I had no clue anything was wrong, he told me he is not interested anymore and would rather be out doing other things than spend time with me. Has anyone went through this before and how did they cope? I feel my whole world has collapsed
  15. My ex boyfriend's birthday is coming up at the end of next week and I really need your help! We broke up about 4.5 months ago and since then have had little contact, I think mainly because we couldn't move to friendship which was never firmly established. Also, I'm not sure if we are both over it enough to just move on. His birthday is next friday, and i am planning to send him a friendly card. I know this doesn;t seem like a big deal, but I just want to mess things up by doing this. My plan is to send a card with no mushy words, and without any indications that I think we should rethink our breakup. this is not my reason to sendit to him at all. I just want it to be a nice birthday touch. Am I mistaken in thinking that this is ok to do? Will he take it the wrong way. If you can, please help me think this over!! Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I kno I shouldn't stress over this so much, but I think that if a couple of you will answer, it will help me put the stress away. One last thing to keep in mind is that I have never sent him birthday card before, so this will be the first one I will ever give to him. Does this change a lot? Thanx
  16. Hi guys.... Most of you may know me and my story by now. (Standard Re-cap: 12 Yrs. Best Friends (When Harry Met Sally)...constantly supporting one another, closest soulmates, always underlying attraction; always saying "i love you" and treating one another like family...1.5 years ago, he made the move to take it to the romantic level....heaven for 12 months...distancing occurred as he had doubts about his future, etc.....horribly painful last 3 months filled with lots of "come here, go away"...a final break-up on the EXACT SAME DAY that he finally lost his job...and since then....he has refused to speak to me.... Has talked to my family, took a vacation w/ my best friends, told everyone he'd "like to be friends with me some day"...but that "it's just TOO DIFFICULT FOR HIM right now (then why is he choosing this?)....during initial begging, crying, asking "why", he was angry and said "you have to respect what i want, go take care of yourself, i have to take care of me and we can't take care of one another....it's too painful" (I know now...all the right stuff). Anyway, last week, he "reappeared" at our mutual tennis club (I posted that occurrence). It was terribly awkward. I played it very cool, casual...as did he. No talk of the relationship or anything that happened....it only last 5 minutes. But it was RIDICULOUS in its absurdity and total lack of honesty. It's not like we're teens...he's 38. I'm 31. We've been the closest of friends, priding ourselves on our communication for 12 years. To see one another, and have all of this tension between us is SO dishonest and counter to anything. Still, he made it plain as day that "I need to respect his wishes...that he will talk to me when he's ready to be friends" (Isn't the one who's being dumped supposed to give that line....not the one who's choosing to do the breaking up???). Anyway, tomorrow is his 39th birthday. I've been with him and his family every year for his birthday for 12 years. I decided I will not call...he has said he'd call me when he's ready, and has yet to do so. The big question.....Do I at least send him a card ? One that acknowledges how much I know him, but is no different than the ones I would have sent as a friend during the long friendship? Please give thoughts and feedback as I don't want him to feel "pressured" by my sending him a card but also want to continue to send messages in a positive, non-suffocating way that his decision to end the best friendship he's had for most of his adult life is his choice....that I am here and interested in re-building trust and platonic love and support whenever he is ready. PS - As far as I know, he still has no idea what he will do for his job.
  17. My ex gf 's birthday is coming up.We have been apart two months now .I was going to buy a card this morning but I thought I would check with my fellow Enotaloners first. I want to send a card just to let her know I still care.Anyway I was looking at this card and on the front of it ,it said things like"I'm still thinking about you","you are special" and " you mean everything in the world to me." Do you think this card is a little to emotional?All of it is true for me, but I dont want to scare her away as she is easily pressured. Thanks for any replies cheers
  18. Hi, Real quick synopsis: Went out with and lived with ex for two years. He moved out on March 15th. Started NC over Memorial Day weekend and pretty much have stuck to it since. Slowly starting to recover and move on. So, Went out on date Sunday with an awesome guy from New Zealand. He too just broke up with his live in girlfriend about 3 months ago. We met through a colleaque of mine. Had an amazing date. Went to eat Italian. He paid for it (which my ex could never do). Ended the night with a walk by the ocean. He walked me to my car and we had a passionate kiss. He asked if we would see eachother again and I said yes, all he needed to do was just give me a "shout." Here's the problem: Had such a great time on the date. and I thought he did too. I emailed to thank him the next day as well as tell him that I had just ironically found out that another colleaque of mine knew him because her husband played in his band. He emailed me back saying thank you for my email, acknowledging that indeed my colleaque's husband was in his band and that he was going to their house for their son's birthday on Saturday (which I was also invited to). He finished his email with small miscellaneous banter, and that was it. He didn't ask me out again. Didn't ask if I would be at the birthday party. Nothing. I understand that we only just had our first date on Sunday. But he seemed so adamant to ask me out the first time. I'm just confused. I understand that we both need to take it slow because we just got out of serious relationships, but I just don't want to play any games. Help! Give me advice!
  19. Me and my boyfriend tried having sex 3 times already ... but it never hapened because he says im too tight... We both really wanna do this but dont kno how... And we're gonna be alone tomorrow and maybe try it again but I need to know if there are any ways of opening myself up a little more... What positions would be best to try?... What else can I do to make myself not as tight I'm willing to do anything to have sex with him... my 17th birthday is August 18th and his 19th birthday is August 15th and we been together for 7 months August 16th... We wanna be able to enjoy each other for the best birthday present ever... HELP ME PLEASE!! I NEED answers by tomorrow evening Is there ANYTHING we can do to make sex easier?
  20. Me and my ex broke and and we are "supposively" friends now, but we just don't talk anymore. We haven't talked in like 3 weeks and I'm wondering if we are still friends or whatever, so i text messaged her cell phone cuz i didn't know if she wanted to talk to me or not on the phone and i asked her stuff about our status of the friendship and she never text messaged me back. Her birthday is coming up soon. I don't know if If she wants me saying Happy Birthday or not?? I dont even know if we are friends anymore. What u think I should do? Just don't talk to her no more either?
  21. Hi all, my bf and i have been dating for about 6 mths now. Yesterday was his birthday but things didn't turn out quite expected. I gave him his surprise lunch, but he got a bigger surprise that he failed all his exams and had to retake, baked him a cake and brought it to his place but because of the cake, we fought and had a big fight over the phone. It started with that he was going to have a guys night out and well, he didn't know abt the cake, so i went up to his place, whilst he was in the room, took the cake out and gave it to him. But he said he couldn't eat it cos he was too full. So i was upset - cos he could have shown some appreciation but he din say anything and on the way sending me back to my hse, he kept scolding and screaming at me. I was affected by it and kept crying. then he called me back and said he was pissed at me for spoiling his birthday. N he went drinking with his pals after that. after he drank, he called me again at 4am and told me he was at my place and wanted to say good night to me. I met him and he went back shortly. I wrote him an email regarding his behavior, saying that i don't expect him to scream at me when things happen. He read the email the next day, and he called me up to tell me he's sorry and will meet me later on today. but he cancelled lunch on me, cancelled dinner on me, met his friend for lunch and after my tuition and i called him, he told me he was tired. (WHEN he's with his friend who recently broke up with his gf). Then this evening, he told me he doesn't want to meet me anymore. Say he needed his space etc and he's tired. What is he thinking of? N i can't control myself and my behavior. help. i m on the verge of another breakdown.
  22. Quick recap. 4 months since the breakup. Ex couldn't deal with conflicts between his grown daughter (still living at home) and me, so I lost. He broke it off. I maintained NC for the most part (except when my dad died, and around our second anniversary, and a few chatty emails last month). Have been doing NC for three weeks now, and plan on continuing. Last email from him was a really mixed message -- incorporated his business under the name of the place I live (for no legit reason), but at the same time it seems like he is trying to tell me to move on. My gut says he will be back at some point, but it will be a long time. I told him I was going to go to NC, and only send birthday and Christmas cards. I am happy enough with my decision, it is just easier for me, as I get way too emotional and read too much into his responses. His daughter's birthday is next week. I don't know if I should send a card. We did manage to resolve some issues after the breakup and she knows I don't hold her responsible, even if she was the catalyst. She just couldn't accept her father is a new relationship so soon after her mother died, which is totally understandable. I blame him for doing nothing to help her and for jumping into a relationship without considering all the consequences. In our last exchange, I had asked my "ex" if it was okay to send a card to his daughter, and he said "sure, that would be great". I feel if I don't send a card, I would be sending a message that I am angry and taking it out on his daughter. However, I also feel that by sending a card, I am giving him the idea that I still maintain hope -- almost like I am weak and trying to hang on -- hope is a message I don't mind, but clinging and weak is NOT a message I want to send. My reason for sending the card is that they were part of my life for two years and I still think of them as family. What should I do?
  23. To make a long story short...I dated this guy for over a year on and off. We were very serious at a point, but he had a problem about chosing between his child's mother and me. We finally decided to stop seeing each other, but still we messing around almost everytime we saw each other. I finally decided not to call him anymore after I found out that him and his ex got back together, and got an apartment. It was a over a month before I spoke to him. He called me on my birthday. Fine he wanted to wish me a happy birthday. The next thing I know out of the blue he calls me again about 3 weeks later..to make sure I was safe during a snow storm...sure that is what he was really calling for. I called him back and had a brief conversation with him, to find out that him and his ex just broke up the day before...Is he calling me cause he misses me or is he looking for me as a rebound from her...I am really confused because I still love him even though everything we had been through and how much he hurt me...What does everyone else think?
  24. I have been going out with this girl for about 11 months now 12 months in 2 weeks. Well since oct. 5. Well anyways we started out having so much fun together. We loved eachother and life was great for the first 2 months. We decided to drink one night prolly in the the 3 month and that is when I discovered she is a mean drunk she is very rude. So basically we start arguing like basically once a week. Then february comes around and I cheated on her. .......Damn I regret it everyday but I cant undo what I have done. Since then I have been called very rude names, hit, disrespected. She started to stop doing so much of that in June. Well at the end of June she started to talk to my friend a lot more because she said that she was going to plan something for my birthday with him. They started talking at least everyday once or twice. She told me on the 28th of june that she doesnt want to keep talking to me. This is like 8 days before my birthday. I started thinking a lot of maybe she is trying to hook up with my friend I have been friends with for like 5 years. Then we were together on my birthday and we saw eachother here and there. My cousin was out from the 3-10 of july so I was mainly focusing my attention on her. So I wasnt spending too much time with my girlfriend because it was nice not being put down everyday. Then my cousin left on the 10th and me and my girlfriend starting talking a little more. We had a rough weekend of the 10th and the next weekend as well. I still had this feeling she was talking to my friend so I kept asking my girlfriend if she ever hung out with him or anything and I couldnt get the truth out of her for the life of me. Then one day at the end of july I was talking to her brother and he admitted to me that my friend and girlfriend and my girlfriends brother were together and went to an amusement park together and were having fun all day. But still my girlfriend finally gets caught in the lie and confesses to me about that then like 2 days later I told her this is her final chance to tell me the truh about everything and she admitted that her and 2 of her friends went over and said hi to him the weekend of the 17th but that whole entire night I could not get a hold of her and her friends were answering the fone being really rude. I just feel that she has done something with my friend and wont admit it. Everytime I bring it up very calm she gets mad and says screw you u we shouldnt be doing this relation ship and bla bla bla. I honestly feel very hurt. I am In love with this girl and I have been through a lot with her and I still everyday get yelled at for some reason or another. She deffinetly wears teh pants in this relationship I could say. Im really in love with her and I feel that it is time to leave. I dont know how to do it or anything. I feel trapped with her. Please tell me if you think this is deffinetly not a good relationship and get out of it and run. Or if I should get out of it and still be friends with her. Or do you think it is worth trying to keep. Since August 5 I asked her back out and we have been doing a lot of fun things. I treat her soo good but I dont feel she appreciates anything I do. I bend over backwards for this girl. I take her on trips and everything. There isnt anything I dont do for her to make her happy. Do I deserve this much redicule for something I did so long ago. Is she going to be like this forever please someone help. She doesnt trust me and I really honestly dont trust her that much. Has she cheated on me with my friend to get revenge. Do girls like to get revenge or no. She has a lot of respect for her body. But I think she would do it just to make me know how she felt when she found out even tho she isnt tellin me if she did. HELP I KNOW I AM CONFUSING
  25. Here's amy FIRST poem. I wrote it for my girlfriend for her birthday. Giving it to her on Wednesday. The lines about the numbers, I got that idea from a poem off here. Thanks. Couple inside jokes in here, so don't think I'm weird lol (aka. biting) ---------------------------------- Take a pen, draw a smile accross my face, I think of you, and my heart begins to race. I need you now, let me see that smirk, Because slow n steady just aint gonna work. If I start walking now, I'll be there soon, We can share kisses under the nightsky moon. Take my hand, come fly with me, Soar towards the clouds, look at all we can see. Hold on tight, and don't look down, Wave goodbye, let's ditch this town. Just you and me girl, that's all we need, Forget it all, lets pick up the speed. Let me hold you, I promise I won't let go, Because without you, I just feel so low. Let me kiss you, or would you prefer a bite? F*ck it, I just want to touch you all night. Bite me back baby, I know you want to, Isn't it true, that I bring that out in you? Cuddle up, fall asleep in my arms, Go to sleep girl, turn off all the alarms. I wanna watch you dream, close those beautiful eyes, I'm telling the truth, I haven't told one lie. However much you may think I want you, Multiply by one hundred and add one hundred too. Yes, I know math ain't your subject, But is it working? Are you turned on yet? Happy Birthday to a girl that deserves so much more, What did you choose a guy like me for?
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