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About imsoinlovewithher

  • Birthday 09/14/1988

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  1. rabbitskin: yea that is how I'm feeling right now. Only attracted to her. It's definitely a possibility that I feel for her personality first. Definitely. Relationship with my mam? It's normal and perfectly Ok. apart from I feel very weird about hugging her or getting close to her physically like that. Does that mean something?
  2. No it is sexual. The full story is, my and my 'girlfriend' actually talked about 'us' the other night and I don't understand how I like her ( I like her to touch me, kiss me, make out etc.) but I'm repulsed by the idea of ANY OTHER girl doing anything to me. I've never heard of this before. I'm not lesbian and I'm not bisexual. But I want a physical relationship with a girl who I'm in love with. Is this common? Am I abnormal?
  3. sorry, maybe I didn't say that very clearly. How common is it for a 100% straight girl to fancy and have feeling for one other girl?
  4. Really important question: How common is it for girls to like JUST ONE girl and no others. To feel repulsed at the idea of other girls touching her but having strong feelings for one particular girl. For it to feel different with that girl, like it's not a lesbian relationship, like it's just 'right' and whilst everyone else outside the relationship would see just two lesbians together, it doesn't feel like that to the girl in the relationship. It just feels normal. (i.e not being lesbian and not being bisexual. Fancying lads but also ONE girl on the whole planet and not finding any other women remotely attractive.) So is this normal? To not fancy any other girls AT ALL or even think mmm she's nice. But to fancy this one girl, but not really feel like you're fancying a girl. How many people have experienced this? Is this common? Thankyou to anyone who gives their opinion.
  5. tell her. Im 90% sure she already knows. my girl knew before I did anything. I really think she already knows. tell her. hear what she thinks. accept that she probably doesn't like you back. things can't get much worse than what you're feeling now right? say that the only reason you were thinking of leaving was because you have feelings for her and you just want her to be happy but you didn't think you'd be strong enough to see them together, but you are willing to try because her friendship is important to you. Just tell her and see where your conversation goes. You've got a great friend in her, how many people could say that their best friend would choose them over a bf? I bet not many.
  6. Hi, first I want to say I hope nobody is offended by this post in any way because I'm a girl in a relationship with another girl and if this is something you don't want to read about, then don't. But I need help. I'm a girl in love with my best friend. She likes me too, I'm not sure how much. Basically, she found out I like her 'that way' about three months ago, and it turned out she likes me back. So since then when we are alone together we make out and other stuff. We are extremely close. We've BOTH said we would die without eachother. We have to pick universities at the end of may and we both sat and cried one night at the thought that we'd be in different places. But we never talk about our relationship. A couple of months ago I said to her "are we just friends who 'do stuff?'" and she said "you're thinking too much, I don't want to talk about it." We never talk about "us" in that way. I have no idea if she sees us as a couple properly some time in the future. We act like friends around eachother most of the time. The only time we act differently is when we're alone and have been for a few hours. The word girlfriend or date or going out or anything like that has not been mentioned. I'm also insecure. I often get upset because I feel that she doesn't care about me or that im going to lose her. She knows this and has reassured me a lot that she couldn't physically leave me and that she cares about me too much to leave. I've been very honest with her so far about my feelings. She knows I get upset and hurt when she gets bored at college and goes quiet and doesn't talk. It happened today. She suddenly got bored and went all quiet and it was horrible. I asked her what was up and she said she wanted to go home. Then she went and talked to a couple other friends and seemed to feel a bit better after that and that made me feel like crap. I was hurt and jealous and upset and I started crying a bit. although I don't think she really knows. it was like a knife ripping through my heart. I was glad though that she was feel a bit better, I do just want her to be happy. Tomorrow is going to be boring at college too and i'll feel so bad cos I feel like i should entertain her and not let her get bored. I feel so pathetic and helpless when she goes all quiet and doesn't talk. All I want to do is to help her and cheer her up, but even if I did know how to do it, I lose all rational thought and I feel so hurt and sad that I can't cheer her up at all. I'm completely useless. And then knowing that makes me feel even worse. I feel depressed. I dunno if it's because of her, I don't mean it's her fault, but cos I am so mentally involved in her that it's exhausting. I think about her all the time. It's pretty * * * * at home too though, just me and my mam and we're not getting on great lately. I don't tell her much about college cos more often than not it reminds me of her and I don't like to talk about bad things that happened at college if they involve her cos I'll probably end up crying. I've kinda lost other friends that I did have in a way cos I love spending time with her so much. But I never really had that many friends to start with. It's a big loop and I don't know if it'll get better when I go to university. If we both stay at home will I just be even more jealous and get even more insecure and get even more depressed because she'll make loads of new friends and I might not and she might get sick of me or think im boring. If I move away for uni though, it would kill me because I feel like I can't live without her. I love her so much I really couldn't live. I don't know if I would feel better if she was my girlfriend. If she said to me "be my girlfriend." I think I would but then i'd still probably be insecure and all that stuff. I know I should just try and enjoy what we have, and some days I do, I honestly do. Some days im on top of the world and I have a few great things to look forward to. But I'm hurt. I want to know where I stand with her. I want her to need me as much as I need her. i want to talk to her about "us" but I think it's too soon and it would freak her out and I don't want to freak her out. I think right now she wants someone who can entertain her and look after her whilst she's going though all the stress of universities and exams. I've been doing my best to do that, but I'm starting to snap. We're so close and so involved with eachother. We see eachother fridays and saturdays most weekends and I see her every day at college. But we miss eachother when we don't see eachother for a day. Honestly, and I know she misses me, cos she's told me. and this girl doesnt lie. but there's always a but and I don't thnk I'll ever put my finger on it. What the hell do I do? Move away for uni and cut my losses and get over her n/c. Or talk to her about us. Or talk to her about everything I've just written. Or do nothing and hope that I can pull of being a happy/chirpy friend and hang on a bit longer before talking to her. I'm worried that talking to her will make her think "god, what now? she's always got a probelm" (cos we've done a lot of talking about stuff like this lately) i know i build little things up into big things sometimes, im probably doing that now but my heart feels like it's being dragged through a few bramble bushes and twisted into a knot.
  7. Hi Im sorry I cant answer your "do all friends act like this?" cos I have no idea. But none of my friends have acted the way she has....apart from my girl lol Does the lad want to get back together with her? I don't know what you should do. I'm sorry, im wondering the same sort of thing right now. I think you should stay friends with her but have you got some other friends you can spend more time with...concentrate you energy on? If she keeps breaking up with her ex cos of you, that's her problem, not yours. I think it was great of you to say to her that she doesn't have to let go of him, I know how hard that would've been to say with your heart breaking inside. sorry I couldn't really answer anything
  8. I saw her last night and now I actually miss her. I have plans today, so I should be busy later and that will hopefully help to take my mind off it but my heart is sort of aching. I don't really know how to describe it. I don't know why I'm posting this, I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts down.
  9. I start uni in sept this year. I have to make my decision on my two choices by may. Things are going quite good at the minute, we've still been making out even though I haven't initiated it. I think she may feel uncomfortable with the physical side, but I do think that she really, really cares about me. If anyone ever mentions gay or lesbian or anything like that when we're out, she never catches my eye, ever. She never brings it up later either. I found it quite funny when one of our friends accidently said that my girl fancies me. Our friend started laughing and said "not in that way, I'm not saying that haha" I was kinda laughing along but my girl showed very little emotion and comletely avoided eye contact. i think I need to do more things outside my relationship with her. Apart from her, there's not much else in my life. I know I should really try to get a job or join a club or something but I'm lacking the motivation. I'll give it another month, then might try and talk to her. I don't think her family would react very well with her going out with a girl. She cares a lot about her family, so I don't know if it'll ever happen.
  10. Yes I am still unsure where I stand on the relationship front. I've decided to back off a bit physically, and see if she initiates making out etc. cos she might just be confused and might not REALLY like me in that way. If she just wants hugs and stuff like that, then at least I know she's probably not really sexually attracted to me. I don't want to bring up the subject of "us" again though, cos last time she said she didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to put pressure on her or anything. But I don't think she'll EVER bring it up cos she finds it really, really, really hard to talk about how she's feeling. She is a great listener and very understanding but she really can't say how SHE feels. I wish she could, it would make this whole thing so much easier. I think I get insecure sometimes because she is so closed book that I doubt whether she even wants to spend time with me, let alone be my girlfriend. Although, saying that, she is very affectionate with hugs and small kisses etc. I don't think it's bad enough to go for professional help.....but ask me again in about 3 or 4 months and I might have a different answer. It might be good for me to move away for university, but then I'd have to move away from her and I don't know if I could physically tear myself away from her.........
  11. I don't think I'm depressed. I just go from being dead happy to dead sad really easily, depending on the last contact I've had with her. I'm OK right now, I DEFINITELY think my jealousy is getting better. Definitely. Now I just need to work on the insecurity bit somehow...somehow... thanks for everyone's input by the way
  12. I told her about a week ago that I am insecure and get jealous sometimes. She was really understanding and I felt loads better after telling her. But now it's all coming back,feeling down,feeling unwanted, feeling just really crap. I promised I would tell her if I felt sad again so I'm going to talk to her when I get a chance. I don't know what to say though. Hi, I feel down again. I'm still insecure. It's stuff like her taking ages to reply to text or her sharing a private joke with another friend or her not seeming bothered about saying bye that sets me off with my insecure, down, horrible feelings. But those things are normal things that I don't want her to change. I don't want her to feel like she has to reply to my msgs dead quick or feel like she's not allowed to have fun with other friends or be dead sad when she has to say bye. I don't want her to change any of the normal things she does just cos it sets me off. I want those things to stop setting me off. I'm worried that if I tell her the kind of things that set me off, she'll either feel awkward and things will be become weird between us cos she's constantly walking on eggshells trying to make me feel OK (which I really really don't want her to do) or she'll take it the wrong way and think I'm saying that I don't want her to have other friends and she has to reply straight away etc. It's so hard. But whilst I don't tell her those minor things that trigger me off, I feel like I'm hiding something from her. HELP!
  13. No I'm not insecure normally, I'm normally quite good with talking to people I don't know. I'm not insecure at all with every single one of my other friends. It's just her. Maybe cos she's the only one that I want a relationship with? I'm not feeling great right now cos I've just come home and said bye to her and I'll be totally down by tonight if I don't hear from her. It bugs me so much that it can affect me like this. If she rings me or texts me in the next few hours, I'll feel great! AAh sooo annoying. I don't even know why I feel down now, cos I feel like she's not bothered about seeing me? aah im frustrated. Not knowing where I stand with her is definitely putting me on edge!!
  14. I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone is different. You don't have to label yourself anything just cos you're seeing a girl. Just see what happens, see how everything goes. This might just be a random one off thing or you might start noticing other girls too. lables are too general in my opinion, everyone is their own label
  15. do you think it could be being made worse by the fact that I don't know where I stand with her and I don't know if she wants a proper relationship or not? Or would I still feel insecure anyway?
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