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flower99

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Everything posted by flower99

  1. flower99
    Wow, I'm so sorry...Hugs..that's got to be hard Is it worth it? I'd say NO. you two have been dating 6 months. 2 of the months fighting. And all 6 months YOU investing the time & money. The fact that he always makes excusses NOT to drive and see You..I think is a red flag. And now him not standing up for you when it comes to the grandma & her treating you like crap. Another red flag. It sounds like you're much more into him than he is you. You are trying so hard to smooth things over & make it work. Investing time & money into this. And he's just not intrested in putting in any effort into this relationship. And not intrested in protecting your feelings. do you really want to marry someone like that? you & him & the grandma can live happily ever after (: Relationships involve a lot of give & take, meeting half way, and you are giving giving & giving of your time, energy, emotions & money....for what? I dont' think he's worth it. I think you deserve better.
  2. flower99
    Well first of all...if the son asked her & she LAUGHED & AGREED, What would than make him hit the bf? obviously she had no problem with whatever it is, he should have seen that from her reaction.Because it isn't something your son wouldn't joke about or wanted to hear...Should not lead him to hitting him..... that was out of line. And I do think he owes an apology. Yes he meant well, but acted poorly (without all the facts) But if you voiced what you think & feel about her bf, there is nothing you can do about it. And the more you push your opinion on her the more it's really going to push her away. Just be there for her, pray for her. Don't go her home yet. Send her a card (not asking to talk about it..cause i"m sure she doesn't want to) but just saying you're thinking of her & love her. You're her mother, she still loves you, she'll be back, be ready to receive her. with you luck
  3. flower99
    awww....you're sweet. Ignore society. They don't speak for everyone (: If you love her & she loves you....sex shouldn't shake it. believe me a 'quicky' can be amazing at times. Don't feel the need to live up to societies expecations. (that is impossible, believe me women feel pressure to) The only expectations you need to pay attention to is your women's. Talk to her, find out what they are, what she needs, what she likes.....you'll find it may not take 4 hours & you both can be quite happy & no more pressure....Relax...Enjoy it!
  4. flower99
    Awww....i'm sorry. ((hugs)) for every loss, something better comes along. If he's not the one for you (which I'm thinking he really isn't) than that means, someone is BETTER for you. Someone will treat you better, will love more, will cherish you and all you are, someone will handle you more gently, someone will put YOU on the pedestal. Look towards the light at the end of this tunnel. God will give you strength through this.
  5. flower99
    I agree with Shadow light. Great words You are doing Awesome!!! You sound like such a wonderful mother. You've done the best you could & it was amazing. Don't feel guilty, You have provided for your son everything he needs. Even when it was something you hate...be proud, you are a wonderful mommy. And formula...well thats the next step. he's getting older & now it's something you need to do. At 4 months I had the same problem, I wasn't producing enough milk, I had to switch then too....I felt guilty (originally i had planned on him having breast milk much longer) But at the same time i knew he got the breast milk at the most important time of his life. So I did my best. God provides the rest. My son is turning 4 now strong & healthy. Sweetie, You're doing wonderful & your doing your best, that's all a person can do. God provides the rest. Enjoy this period of his life...there are many upsides to it.
  6. flower99
    Totally agree!
  7. flower99
    How can you give up? well I wouldn't look at it like giving up. I would look at it as drawing a line, there is only so much crap you can be put through & put your child through. Stop thinking about what you want it to be & all it COULD be. Look at what it is. Sure you have your great parts...of course you do.. And you say it "could work" if.... but it hasn't, and it isn't.The bad out weighs the good. if happiness & true love was truly meant to be found in this relationship ...You would have found it by now. I believe you deserve better..but are settling. Keep on trying if you like...I wish you the best whatever your decision is.
  8. flower99
    You're confused? Everyone who posted knows him they are friends with him......What did you really expect them to say? They they are young too, not much experience trying to change someone yet. or experience knowing the difference between a healthy relationship & unhealthy one & the damage it can leave or where it will lead you to in life. Plus, Love with out honesty & trust & a good foundation...can't last. different morals & values & lifestyle & expectation so where will your future lead you two????? Do you really think this is what God intended for you...to marry a porn addicted man who constantly lies to you. Do you think this man is going to draw you closer to God??? When you think with your head & not with your heart, this isn't so confusing. But when you let your heart lead you...it will lead you astray. I wish you happiness
  9. flower99
    seriously......men feel a lot of pressure? Why is that? is it the women that you feel pressure from? or something you feel you have to live up to?
  10. flower99
    I'm really sorry I have not much to offer you...cause I'm a girl (: with no experience wtih anxiety management techniques.. Foreplay is seldom less than 4 hours??? WOW...I would think you're losing momentum... when it comes to me & my finacee our forplay, sex & cuddling to a movie after...... is almost to never 4 hours (; ha ha ha why does it make you anxious? do you build it up more than it needs to be? Cause wow, 4 hours everytime...
  11. flower99
    Yep you two are VERY different people.....the issues I believe are beyond repair...they go far to deep different morals & values & lifestyle & expectation so where will your future lead you two?
  12. flower99
    yes he know that we are thier putty in there hands. Change that. don't be his putty. Don't allow him to feel like sh*t. You know your lie was mild compared to the list of crap you wrote right here that he's done to you. So regardless of if he turns the tables on you...YOu know the truth! . Yes it's only been 3 days & I know it's hard...I'm sorry (hugs)...but it's going to get worse before it will get better. You CAN do this. Just keep your eyes on the light at the end of a tunnel. Pray. Take care of you & your child now. Getting back with him, would NOT be healthy for you & your child....so always remember you're doing the right thing & God WILL give you strength. believe it & Believe in yourself.
  13. flower99
    Okay. My advice is...He's a liar. You can't change him & if he really wanted to change he would have done so by now. This is him. Take him or leave him. My greatest lesson I ever learnt through my experience & friends experiences "Never date someone expecting them to change, it doesn't happen." I know you love him. But I dont' think this is a healthy relationship At all. I don't think you'll be happy 5 years from now...The entire relationship was based on lies. And as the bible teaches us, we need a good foundation. He doesn't have it & your relationship with him doesn't have one. A healthy happy marriage can't be built on this. I think you are younge & you found your first love. But like 90% of the worlds first loves...he's not the one for you. You are younge, there are so many men out there. Find a man who You can't write an entire page of lies he's told you in less than a year...This is a Huge red flag. Darling, You deserve better. You deserve someone who's words you can believe. Someone who brings out the good in you. Someone who knows you deserve honesty, who won't cheapen you with lies, like it's a game. Don't look at who he could be, see him for what he is. He's a liar. -just for next time, space your post into paragraphs. It makes is easier to follow & read. You'll get a lot more advice from others that way.
  14. flower99
    Totally agree...don't play games Talk to him, find out the truth...ask him why he's on one?
  15. flower99
    Completely agree with MarkfromMark here (:
  16. flower99
    Wow..... my thoughts.....You said it all perfectly here! Follow your brain (it knows what you need to do).. your heart lead you a stay. You deserve to be the only women! And telling her his feelings so he can let them go? doesn't seem right..I would feel betrayed.....I totaly agree with where all of that could lead. You are right to feel what you wrote. from the sounds you've been very wise & mature about this situation. Stay strong & follow your brain.
  17. flower99
    Darling, You aren't happy & he's not happy. As a result your child probably isn't either. There is so much lies & hurt in this relationship. the fights lead to screaming & hitting. This is unhealthy for everyone. Why stay? These problems with him won't go away. Time can't erase the past. If it's only because you are lost & empty without him, than fix that inside you. Find yourself again. You don't NEED him. You CAN do this. If God brings you to it, he will help you through it. You have the strength within you to make it through this & come out wiser & stronger for it. It's time to focus on you & your child now. Best of luck, I wish you happiness.
  18. flower99
    Yes sometimes men do propose when they don't want to marry....mainly if there is pressure. In your last post you said. " I had been pushing him pretty hard to get married, but when he finally did it he seemed thrilled!" Why push someone to marry you?? If you felt the need to push...maybe he wasn't the right man. Don't have a friend talk to him...there isn't a need to. You See all the signs. He's not the man for you. He's even seeing another women. Don't waste your time & engery with him. That you can't make contact with him is a blessing...thank God for it. There is a reason for it & I think it's the best thing for you. Stay away from him,you don't need him. Now is the time to focus on You. And your child. I am so sorry for the hurt you are feeling & for your sons injury. But Stay strong. If God brought you to this he'll bring you through it.
  19. flower99
    Completely agree!!!! Girl whether he loves her or not, who knows. But I think it doesnt' have much to do with the reasons to get out of the relationship. physical fights & lies. That's not healthy for you & especailly not for you children.
  20. flower99
  21. flower99
    I'd dump him. I wouldn't feel like a priority to him & I wouldn't feel special or the only women in his mind. I would feel lied to & taken by a fake. I wouldnt' be able to trust him, so I would dump him.And find someone who values morals & honesty DUMP HIM he isn't worth another day of your life. Life is to short.
  22. flower99
    it sounds like you're growing up & he's staying put. You live 2 different lives. he doesn’t understand yours & you can't accommodate his anymore. Personally he doesn't sound like a good friend. You offer to help- but because it at the drop of a hat, he makes you feel like crap for it. When really if you’re asking for help you should appreciate it when you get it! Especially when you are making the time to go out of your way to help him.(regardless of your busy schedule) It is a lot of drama & he doesn’t' seem to value you or the friendship. Friends should be Understanding, patience, appreciative. You two seem to live 2 different lives & value different things now. I'm not sure how a friendship like that works. Unless there is consideration & a common ground, common interest. Do you two have that anymore? if you want to selvage the relationship I think you have to be upfront & honest with how you feel. Or just let go.
  23. flower99
    He sounds childish & ungrateful. does he work? school? have a license? how old is he?
  24. flower99
    Awww...I'm glad you're feeling better about things. We all fall onto the negative road sometimes...Happy you found your way off of it (:
  25. flower99
    actions speak louder than words. You adore her & cherish her & she humiliates you and dismisses you...That doesnt' seem right. Women want to be treated good, you're doing that & she makes fun of you for it. Either she is so self absorded that she doesn't see how much it hurt to be made fun of in a group of people. Or she just doesn't care how you feel. Neither are good qualities. Think of your future-Will she kiss you in front of everyone on her wedding day? When you're married you will be in a lot of public places together, will she do this every time? I personally think you deserve better.
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