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About Me

  1. Hi All, First off, I want to take the time to thank anyone who is willing to over me some advice. Okay, so to start my ex-boyfriend and I were in a strong and committed relationship for a bit over 4.5 years. We recently broke up on March 27th of this year due to something I did, an active of extreme impulses. We are both in our 20s, him 23 and me going on 21 in a few months. This particular incident began when I called him to see if he’d be able to send me a few dollars to order UberEats around noon. With the pandemic going on, I lost my job working at an elementary school and have been low on funds. I live with my grand currently and also attend college. Anyways, he sent me the money because our kitchen sink was broken at the time. My grandparents felt that if the sink was broken, the whole kitchen was too, lol. After that discussion and him sending the money, he asked if I wanted to go to the mall. I explained to him that it was closed due to the lockdown and perhaps we could grab food instead. He shared that he’d think about it and let me know later. I never bought food because around 3 pm, my grandma cooked after my grandpa temporarily fixed the sink. Anyway, he called around 5:30 pm to see if I was still interested in spending time with him, and I agreed. Around 6 pm, I was heading to his place to pick him up and on the way had informed him that I ate earlier, but wouldn’t mind a bit of snacking. About 5-10 after saying that, he began to think about what I said and changed his mind after I arrived. He instead wanted to just go to the gas station and head home. I have been going to therapy twice a week for two months now, but still have a minor issue with my extreme reactions. So, I got more upset that necessary and called him out of his name and yelled. I apologized immediately, and headed to the gas station. I was still a bit upset at him and asked for him to remove the pump from my car since it was on the passenger side. He said no multiple times, and I kicked him out of my car. He only walked half a block before I gave him a ride, but he told me later that evening that it was too late, and he was done. I have been around way too many toxic relationships and traumatic experiences, and unfortunately, took things out on him. He is very strong, a wonderful man, and I so much want him in my life for good. I’ve made those kind of mistakes throughout our relationship, but just recently seemed therapy and psychiatry. I had trust issues that stemmed from unhealthy marriages throughout my family and an abusive mother. I wasn’t always dependent upon him to make me happy, but I did a bit towards the end of our relationship. He has given me so many changes, and just recently I have been working positively and hard to better myself. We have broken up some times before, not nearly as long, but I would always beg and plead for his return. He would always love me just as much too. I believe that he is the right person that came at the wrong time. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused by my mother for years and he would always comfort me. I was there for him a lot too. He is an excellent compliment in my life. Currently I have been doing no contact for about 3-4 days, not much, but he doesn’t have me blocked on anything. I jus want to know that as I continue to better myself and let go of the trauma and other people’s experiences, is there a chance that we could get back together and make it work the right way? We have the same life end goals, support each other and have loved each other hard. We never cheated or anything to that extreme. I love him very much, and I do pray for his return. What should I continue to do? Thank you all.
  2. Hi guys! I would like to ask for your opinion on the following: First, let me say that I have had such amazing support from my ex MIL and my ex SIL throughout my hardship since last year. We get along beautifully and talk to each other often. That said, my ex SIL's daughter will be graduating from college this month. I am going to send my niece a check for $200 which, to me, is a nice gift. Obviously, her grandmother will be sending her a gift as well. Here is my dilemma: I don't intend for my ex MIL to tell me how much she is sending but, at the same time, I do not want to outshine her (which I might not). So, should I tell my ex MIL that I will be sending my niece this amount, or just send it with the hope that I won't overshadow her gift? Thank you so much!
  3. well my ex and i broke up over 7 months ago. we had not been talking until about a month ago.. we were both transferring to a new university (the same one) and we were both a little nervous. i guess he needed me there for support because he contacted me and we started hanging out again.. things were going WONDERFULLY and we were seeing eachother a few times a week. we spent valentines day together (his idea) and i seriously thought we would get back together. well this past friday he got angry and pretty much told me to get lost because i got mad (not even really mad, just asked him not to use the word with me )when he jokingly called me a b*tch.. well he said we can't go on the way we had been, we need to be just friends because thats all we are, that he doesn't ever see us getting back together... the same old stuff he has been telling me all along. well thats not the bad part, i took that and i left. i didn't contact him all weekend and i was just feeling sort of like "whatever" about the situation. i was tired of being his friend when it was convenient for him, or when he NEEDED me in his life. he got comfortable with his new situation (living away from home) and no longer needed me.. whatever.. well, here is the kicker last night at 1 we get a call from my dad, he and my grandpa were out of town visiting my aunt and my grandpa had a heart attack and passed away. i am very upset by all of this, but still sort of in shock and it hasn't really sunk in. this morning i called my ex to let him know (they were close when we were together) he wasn't happy to be getting a call from me, he did sort of the "what" answer.. but he said he was sorry and if i needed to talk i could call him. well just about 30 minutes ago i was REALLY feeling down and i called him, like he said i could.. he said that he coulnd't really talk because it "costs him (well my mom) too much because i don't have a lost of mintues left.. if you want, i'll call you when i get home and give you the number at the appartment" i said "no, thats alright, i'll let you go. bye" and i hung up. i COULND"T believe it, i would spend ANY amount of my money/time if he EVER Needed to talk to me, about anything... i am just floored by his comment and can't believe it. its not like im just some stranger to him, i was with him for over 2 years. i spent days/nights talking to him when he was stressing about his MATH classes for goodness sakes. i stayed TWO hours after school so i could meet him after his class to hang out because was having a bad day, and he can't spend a few minutes using his presious money to comfort me a little bit when im going through this??? i just don't get it. do i really mean THAT little to him?????????????
  4. It has been about two months since my Grandfather died. We were really really close. I used to think of him as my superman. I'm worried something is wrong with me. I haven't cried since the funeral, and even at that I didn't break down at the funeral. Yes I bawled but it wasn't the cry your heart out because it hurts so bad. I did that the night we found out he died. Is it normal to not cry and to not feel.... sadness whenever I see his pictures or he is mentioned?
  5. Alright..This is really hard for me, but i am trying to break up with my boyfriend of 19 months. For a really long time now we fight constantly, to the point where i don't even want to be around him anymore, because I know sooner or later it will turn into an argument. Not just a little argument, it has got physical at times, and then the emotional abuse comes out, and by the time we both calm down, i feel like i have lost my mind. I am not going to tell you that I probably didn't have anything to do with the arguments, but the thing with my boyfriend is, is that he is extremely controling, to the point where he hates my family, my best friend and every other support system i have. He is overly critical of all of my friends and even my family. I feel at times he wishes he could get me away from them, so he can have me all to himself, and just control everything i do. The problem i am having now is, that the week after Christmas we broke up because he made a comment to my grandmother, about how she baby's me and that im going to turn out just as screwed up as my mother, now not only did he hurt my grandmother, he hurt me too. I didn't see him for that week, we had plans for new years and i didn't go with him, and then i finally broke down and saw him (which was very stupid). I wanted to try it again, even though there are sooo many RED FLAG on why i should stay away, i just couldn't. The first day we hung out it was wonderful, but as the time went on, i found him doing the same things he was doing before, and even though i wanted to come back with an open mind, he sucked me back in and we went right back to fighting like crazy, to the point where i felt like i was losing my mind. He yet hasn't apologized about the comment he made about my mother, in fact he blames it on my grandmother, because he says,"she's always sticking her nose into our business." Keep in mind he was screaming at me in her driveway in the middle of town and all she told him was to lower his voice. I know i need to leave, and its so easy to say, that this time i really am going to do it, and i really want to because for the last 19 months its been the same thing. and the other day he told me that i don't even do anything for this relationship. However, he wants to get an apartment together, we fight like cats and dogs yet he wants to live together, which is something i don't really understand. But he justifies it by saying i think it will help us, and its something we really need. I haven't been able to commit to it because i know its not what i want. I am happy where I am right now, and I have a lot of other things to focus on right now than moving in with him. A few months ago my father was in a really bad 4-wheeling accident, and he was in a coma for 3 weeks and in the trauma unit of the hospital, he is better, but living in a nursing home now with a serious brain injury. I am trying to go to school, work, look after my father ( im the only child my parents are divorced and i have to take care of all his bills and whatnot) plus try to have a life for myself. And he just doesn't get that, he hasn't been compassionate or even empathetic about the whole situation since it happened, in fact there are many times when i tried to have a conversation with him about it, and he just tells me i shouldn't cry, i shouldn't be angry i should just get over it because its my reality, which is true but sometimes you want your "partner" to just be there for a shoulder to cry on (am I wrong?) I feel that i have just completely lost myself throughout this whole relationship, he just takes everything he can get from me, and says well i see other people walk all over you, and sometimes i just figure she lets other people do it, so i might as well do it too. I feel like such a fool, i used to watch talk shows about girls that had boyfriends like this, and would always think they are so stupid why don't they just leave, but now that i am one i realize that its just not that easy. And part of me thinks that the only reason i really did go back was because he was my comfort zone, ironically i don't even feel comfortable around him. Its alright when i am angry, but then the sadness sets in and the guilt and i feel like i should go back, because he really doesn't have anyone. I mean he could because everyone (his whole family and even mine) have tried to help him get on his feet (recovering drug addict/alcoholic) but he just takes from everyone until they have nothing left to give, and then he just tells them to F off. I don't know i just really wanted to share my feelings right now, and any advice would be wonderful, i just need a way to just stay away for real this time, because i have been given so many chances and i don't want to do it anymore, i love him but i just can't be with him anymore, and it hurts so bad to say that, but he is impossible to be with when everytime i turn around he hurts me. Thanks.....
  6. When my (now) fiance and I first got together, his family was very against it. There are 8 years between us, and the relationship is long distance. For the first several months, when he and I would talk on the phone, I could hear his mom in the background saying terrible things about me. They would argue often while he and I were trying to talk. I spent three weeks with him last summer. One day he and I went driving in the country side. We got lost, and the only person he could think to call for directions was his grandma. She freaked out when she found out he was with me, warning him about how I was a runaway looking for a free ride. Obviously, she was making it up as she went. We blew it off, and later that day when we got back to his house, a message was waiting on his mom's answering machine from grandma. A week later I finally met the rest of his family (I'd only met his mom and his brother until then). When I met them, they were all very nice. Even his grandma. She hugged me, and the first thing she asked was whether or not my parents knew where I was. Which was ludicrous anyway, seeing as I was 19 and legally an adult, so it didn't matter if my parents knew, even though they DID know and we'd told her that all along. But once again, I reassured her. And from that point on she spent the day socializing with me, praising my good nature and saying all kinds of nice things about me. She even made a point of telling me to never hesitate to visit her before we left the party. Now it's almost a year later and we're engaged. We were nervous about his family's reaction, but his mom was very supportive from the start. So we thought things would be fine. Then he tells me that he's worried about talking to his grandma about it. Apparently she's been back to accusing me of being a leeching runaway again recently. That upset me quite a bit... I felt like all the things she said to me at that party were a lie. Now I don't know who to trust. His mom hasn't criticized me lately, but she's been getting into it with Aaron over our wedding plans. The rest of his family has been great from the start and I really love them. But his mom and grandma have been a huge influence in his life. They are the people that we REALLY want on board with this. And because of the fact that we're choosing to live out there near his family, far, FAR away from the love and support that I've always known in my family... I'm very worried about being thrown into the middle of this brand new city without anyone familiar. I'm afraid that his family will turn on me, and that will add a lot of stress to our brand new marriage. I don't know what to feel or think. I keep hoping he'll change his mind and agree to live here instead. But I don't think that will happen. I'm just really scared to be stuck out there surrounded by people that I will always be afraid hate me.
  7. I can't believe we've been broken up for 10 days, this is the longest we've been broken up..and i really know that it is for real this time. The only problem i am having now is that at moments i get sad...not so sad that i feel like i have to run to him or call him, but just watch out the window to see if he drives by or drive by his house on the way to somewhere (which is on a main street) so its not like im driving out in the country completely out of my way just to see if hes outside. so i feel that looking out the window for him or just driving by his house, isn't so bad. I am just sad because i feel that these last 2 years were a waste, i have known him since i was 9. he was my best friend growing up, we "dated" when we were little, and we have so much history and our lives are a lot alike, its just so hard for me to walk away from that. Some days i wish i would have never attempted to get ahold of him again, i wonder where my life would be now if we never got together. Because now i am so scared, from every bad thing that happened between us, so every good memory i have of him...is really gone. I just feel so decieved, like for so long he was being this fake person, trying to do the right thing, but he hasn't hit rock bottom yet, and i know that he still finds something glamorous with the whole drugs and drinking. Sometimes i feel that by me leaving will cause him to finally hit rock bottom, because for so long i was his support...i was there for him more than his family, but as time went on i realized why some of his family had back away, because they tried and tried to help him and he just walked all over them repeatedly. He did the same thing to me, so many times...where i finally got to the point where it was like "it's not working anymore, i might as well just leave." This whole situation is so complicated, i am mad at myself because i didn't leave a long time ago, sometimes i think maybe if i would have left a long time ago...it wouldn't of gotten this bad, and maybe he would have changed, and i wouldn't feel this sad. Other than all of this, he did call me twice today, the first time he called i was at school, the second time i had just gotten home, but my grandfather had gotten the phone...i sat there while they exchanged words for about 5 minutes...but i just couldn't tell my grandfather to give me the phone, i just didn't have anything to say anymore...and i didn't want to hear him cry to me... I just don't understand...why it is so hard for some people to be nice, when we talked awhile ago i asked him that, and he said that for so long all he ever saw were his parents fighting, and when he was younger and even now he sometimes believes that it is normal...and i just told him that it was a cop-out...and that i could say the same thing...because my parents were abusive towards each other, but i don't feel the need to beat someone to make them listen. He tells me he's going to do everything in his power to get me back, to get me to trust him again...but in the same breath he says he doesn't know what to do...I just don't understand that it is so obvious on what he needs to do. Not saying that if he did do it i would take him back, but there always is a possibility. I don't know i guess i am just venting, Thank you for listening. any comments, advice or even words of encouragement are welcomed...you guys are what help me through the day..and give me the strenght to stay away...and move on...so again thank you...
  8. I'll start off by saying that the last few weeks have probably been the toughest of my life. Everything that could go wrong has done and anything that can go wrong probably will. To start I broke up with my long term girlfriend after finding out she'd been meeting some other guy. I'd known about it before and I trusted her when she told me they were nothing more than friends. However, it developed into more and I couldn't take any more. So we broke up and it's hurt me alot. However, things on that front are slowly getting better. At the time where we were splitting I also had to endure the anniversary of my father's death which, again was difficult, especially given the state of mind I was in. However, after all that, i had to pick myself up. I started back at Uni last week and I had to get myself focussed for going back. But, with my overdraft at it's peak and me already owing money out to various people, it was typical that my student loan and bursary application got messed up. So, I'm still awaiting the arrival of that and dreading the direct debit payment at the end of the month if it's not through in time. Then I was struck with the news that out whole housing estate is to be demolished as the houses are no longer safe. The materials used to build them are starting to disintegrate and the houses are basically falling apart, so it looks like we'll have to move away from here. (deanssouth.tk). And, just as I thought things couldn't get much worse, my grandmother was taken into hospital on Thursday having suffered a relapse of a stroke she had before. It looks like she'll be ok *fingers crossed* but it's still worrying. Things can only get better I suppose. I must be about due some good luck anyway.... a lottery win would suffice!
  9. Ok another post about marissa. the jist of the whole thing is i met her about 2 years ago and weve been good friends since. we go to movies in a group and the mall in a group im sure you get the idea. Well saturday she left for canada then went to flordia for vacation shes been using her grandmas cell phone. Since it's her grandmas she cant make calls her grandma only allows her to text message people so every day weve sent about 40 or so messages to each other. next week were going to see a horror movie in a group of people who will be making out through the whole movie, she always sit next to me at movies and I asked her if the following weekend she would like to go with me to another horror movie just me and her. She accepted then i asked her if she would like to walk somewhere after the movie because her mom dosent like her to go to the movies with just a guy. So i asked her to make sure it would be ok and she said that she just wouldnt tell her. were going at the night hopfully it will be cold so i can make the next move! I think that this is a big sign that she likes me. but what do you think am i right? any other ideas for me and her to go to just me and her?
  10. I found out not too long ago that his grandmother, (who i used to get along with really well) has cancer, and I feel really bad and concerned ... I want to call him, and ask if she is ok, the family hasn't told her what she has exactly, she is a nervous person, so they don't wanna worry her...she just knows that is a potential oportunity that she has cancer... but I feel really sad this is happening, as I know that my exes family is really tight, I called his grandma directly to try to avoid calling him, but when I asked how she was doing (as a general question) she didn't volunteered the info, so I obviously didn't push the issue. But I'm still concerned, and I would like to know how she's doing. I never got along too well with my exe's mom, so to call her....i don't know... she e-mailed me this morning,( can you believe it, we talk more now thru e-mails, than the whole time I was with her son, I think she likes it better this way, as she always thought I was't good enough for him) anyways, she but also didn't say anything about her mom's health. I guess i have no choice huh? i also want to call him to know how he's doing, I still care for him, i've been doing NC for 2 weeks, last time he called me and we spoke for a while...we broke up in May2004, 2yr live-in- relationship, i'm the dumpee...we were fighting too much for stupid stuff....he broke it off, I moved out, now I'm with someone new, which I'm beginnignt to care for, but I know i still have feelings for the ex....he was my first " I love you" guy, know what I mean? I wasn't his... anywayz, Should I call? I don't want him to think i'm using this as an excuse to call... seriously.. I really care about his old G's health.... what do you guys think...
  11. ok first of all i put on a few pounds over the summer because i was at my grandma's house and she's a cook'n fool. but i started to get stretch marks on my arms and stomach, they aren't too bad but i wanted to know if the will go away if i lose weight and how much do girls care about them??? o yea i'm also wondering about penis size. not trying to be a perve or anything, but i'm 15 and at 6". is that small for my age?
  12. uhm hi my mother called me today. she says my grandma is dying from cancer. and im not going to get to see or speak to her before she dies. me and my grandma were never that close, we didnt even speak the same language...literally. but im sick and tired of everyone and everything i love dying, the one person that i trust with my problems hates me now so im forced to keep my feelings to myself but i dont know what to do -stitches aka the antihero 13 please someone reply i need help i dont think i can stand any more loss i just cant cope anymore
  13. Ok, I'm not sure if I believe in "fate".. as my experiences with such ideas have failed. but this situation confuses me.. ok, here's what happened. there's this girl I went to private school with.. we had a few classes together and even talked from time to time. I then ran into her a long time ago somewhere and she actually came up to me and started chatting.. this was probably last year.. after that, I never really thought about her too much until these past few weeks,and before this, I never really entertained the idea of asking her out on a date.. but lately I find myself thinking about her all the time.. mostly just kicking myself for not asking her out that first time I ran into her.. but, about 3 days ago, I saw her again.. at the bookstore, ironically, also accross the street from the place I saw her a year ago. I was with 3 other girls (all of which I have no romantic interest in).. so she just smiled and waved. I wanted to talk to her, but I wasn't really sure if it was a good idea given the situation . plus she was with her grandmother. anyways, isn't that odd? out of all the girls I went to school with and could've seen somewhere, its the one who's been on my mind lately.. now I know you're probably thinking subconsciously I wanted to see her again so I went to a place close to where I saw her last.. that would make sense, except it wasn't my idea to go to the bookstore. it was my friend's idea, and I never spoke of this girl to her.. anyways, what should I do? I don't want to find her number in our school directory, because, well, that would just be creepy.. but I really do want to see her again.. any help would be greatly appreciated. --lost and confused in connecticut
  14. Ok heres the thing, a lot of people here already know about my family problems. Well i used to be able to act mature and deal with it well with out getting mean, and now i can't. I totally lose it when sticking up for my self and end up looking like a complete phyco path. just as if not more immuture as they are being. I don't like who i have become, I have started to swear a lot, put others down, and treat everyone how I feel I am treated. I don't want to be like this, I want to change, I want to be nice when others are mean and I want to make them feel good about themselfs even when i am being put down, because i feel that it is a big part of why others have to put people down (because they feel badly about themselves) I want to be the kind of person people like to come around. I am always so negitive and always acting so depressed about everything.My mother brought it to my attention the other day, she said i am starting to act a lot like my grandmother, and she is the one i have most of my problems with. I want to change so bad, but have no clue where to start. Please if anyone has advice please help. love Qtpie87
  15. Ok well my girlfriend and I have been going out for little over a month now. I am in University and she live in my hometown. So i dont get to see her every often. But since Feb 14 is coming up I though it would be a good time to show how much I like her, but early this week she tells me that she is not going to be around for Feb. 14. She is going away to she her grandma. Well that took me be surprise and I didnt know how to answer other then saying ok thats fine. What do you guys think I should do should just wait till she gets back and just do something special then. Or ask her to stay for Valentines Day and go see her grandmother the next day. Since I dont get much time at home ( about once every two weeks for the weekend) I almost ever get to see her, but I dont want to sound selfish by asking her to stay. What do you guys think please any advice would help. thanks
  16. Ok, I posted on here yesterday with the heading "confused and need advice" Short version is that my boyfriend recently broke up with me, and gave me no indication that he was feeling different about our relationship. He is a very indecisive person, does not know what he wants to do with his life, etc. (which has been a source of arguments in the relationship) and he told me he needed space and time to figure things out. He said he was bothered by the distance separating us (we live an hour away from each other). That was exactly a week ago. He has continued to contact me, I have not initiated any contact with him. I talked to him yesterday. My grandmother had been in a car accident and then fainted later so she was in the hospital. He basically told me that he couldn't be with me right now. Ok, whatever. Then I get an e-mail today. Here's what it said: Hey, I was just wondering how your grandmother was doing? Please let me know? Anyways, sorry for everything, I've just changed in my feelings toward us. I know it sucks to be on the receiving end of things. I never, ever meant to hurt you, and I know I have. If in the future, I realize I've made a mistake, then maybe I'll make that call to you. But who knows where you'll be by then. Either seeing someone else or no feelings towards me to try again. It's just, the distance is old, and I'd rather have something closer. I know you say, well, we could move closer to each other. Well, I'm not ready for that right now. That's a huge step and you were right about that in the beginning, moving in with somebody. I realize that now. Well, I just want to be single to do whatever. Anyways, as for talking, that's up to you. I could do it as friends, could you? Well, I guess I'll talk to you later, sometime maybe? Why does he even want to talk to me? He doesn't want to be with me, yet he acts like he might be making a mistake. What's the deal? I'm just really confused and would like some advice. I have not responded to this e-mail, and I don't intend to. I just don't know where he's coming from. I welcome men and women's advice!! Please help!
  17. i had a guy over 3 mouth or so i break up him about a mouth ago i love him alot him atlot. me and him spead togother everyday afterschool one day i went to my grandmother just for 4 days went i got back from my grandmother we stop see each and one day we try to movies and we didnt bc he have to see his real mom in arkansas and he call me everyday then he stop call me and i have feel he was cheatin on me one day i call his brother and tell hem i want to break up him and we haug up and the next day he call my cell phone and tell me why i want to break up with him so did and he say he not cheatin on me so i believe him and one day i call him on his mom cell and i ask him qestion see if he is really not cheatin on me and he said no and i said ok then a few week later when ask him at. me and this girl in my class i told i that i am goin out with him and she was cool and i told her did my boyfriend (now Ex) is call her and she yes and i got mad went told me and i call his brother but he wasnt home i talk his grandmother told her he was talk to the other girl and he never call and she say this mom cell phone bill was higt and i was ok . that day we break up ask he want to i call him once in awhile and he said is would be good and i cry sometime but i was try to be happy and now he got a other girlfriend i talk on computer few day and told me he miss me and i said i dont believe you he have to show it to me and he did put i love u or i miss u over and over and ask me if he or i can call him i told him no and my mom told me dont talk him if talk me i can it stated a week ago and he still have a girl when told that to me........... me and him is just a a year and few month older me he is now 16 abd i am 15 now................. what would do get back just move on get better pereson them him or wait on him to call me and go on dates with other people..... plz help
  18. the girl i love lives in utah and i live in arizona. i get to see her everytime i visit my grandma. but in the mean time we are apart. is there anything romantic i can do over the phone, email, mail, etc.? please help me.
  19. hey.theres a friend of mine who i havent spoken to in a while.last time i saw her,she was hurting becuase her grandmother was seriouslly ill in hospital.since then,her grandmother has died. i was a little stupid last time i saw her because i accidently took something of hers by mistake and she got a little mad at me.and we were on good terms because i called her at 11pm a few nights before. so basically,i want to know how to approach her.i just want to know how things are with her as i care about her but have no idea how she is
  20. Here is her email to me, and my reply is below. Hey you, I know it's been a while but school and work have kept me extremely busy. Up until Thanksgiving I was averaging 4 hours of sleep per night. Needless to say that I crashed when the holiday came- but it didn't last long, back to business as usual. So I have a new addition to my household- his name is Oliver, he is 3 months old and he is the cutest black kitten you have ever seen; though I am not sure that Sumo would agree. Sumo is having a few behavior issues now that I am really dating again and with the new kitty, he is prone to throwing tantrums that would shock even you! But anyway, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving- or should that be plural- I seem to remember you eating more than a few dinners in the past years. How is the biz? I already know it's keeping you busy! And how are you holding up? I want you to know that if you ever need anything- and I mean anything- you call me, I mean it. Maybe my radar is rusty, but I have a feeling from the short email that there is something going on with you. I really hope that you are able to talk to someone about everything that is going on. If you learned anything from our relationship let it be that you can't hold everything inside too long- if you do, you won't like the outcome. Nobody needs a hero, you are a person (admittedly a very strong person), but you do what you can do, and that has to be good enough- you don't have a choice. I know I am babbling on as always but I just want to make sure that you are okay- and I don't just mean for the moment, but for the long run. Take care of you- okay? Forever and always, Lindsy Here is my reply Lindsy, Wow sounds like you have been busy. I got to be honest the line where you said, "maybe my radar is rusty" made me laugh. I just pictured you in a radar tower like they have at the airport. "Evan to Lindsy requesting permission to land". Wow am I a dork, but seriously I can't really complain about to much. So much has happened in this short year, in regards to life and business. Danny and I got great job offers our fathers have made us full partners based on our hard work ethic, and as a result we sold our business. They made us such a sweet deal that we had to take it. I feel such a sense of accomplishment and we both agree that we have done a tremendous job. I am currently getting everything ready for the end of the year. After Christmas we close our doors and the business is no longer ours. I have decided to travel for a month or so, and am off to South America in the middle of January. I am also going with my Grandparents and mother on a Caribbean Cruise in February for my Grandmothers 80th birthday. I cannot wait to tell them, well my mom knows, but I can't wait to tell my grandparents (it's a surprise) I am not going to lie and pretend that everything at home is going great. I feel like I have to watch after my mother as her mood changes from day to day. She just sat me down last night and told me that she is moving to Florida because my Grandfather is getting old, and we do not know how many years he has left. I am going to miss my mother more than anything, but I told her that I am not a child anymore, and she has to do what is best for her. I have tried to send my grandfather money several times but he will not take it. Pride in this family is crazy, and I know where I get it (I still think you are the most stubborn person I have ever met). Sometimes I want to quit or think what if I fail, but then I realize I do not know how to fail or quit, it is just not who I am. Justin and I were looking to buy a house, however I have decided that I do not want to purchase a home, because we cannot agree and have decided to rent a bachelor pad. I am really excited because I cannot wait to decorate the place, and being the kid that I am, get some really cool toys. I do not know why, but sometimes I just cannot grow up. Any way as far as what I have learned about relationships, I have learned that communication is the key. I have come to realize that I was always better at expressing myself when I would look into your eyes, then over a phone. Regardless I have learned that even the strongest need help, and only the stupid never ask for it. As a person I like to think that I have grown in that sense. I am the same compassionate person that I was with you, but now I am also more of a communicator (this is also helpful in business) Well Lindsy I have to be honest, and to say that I do not miss you, could not be father from the truth. I have been meaning to call, but I just can't seem to find the time. I would like to think that someday we could go and have a cup of coffee, or for me hot coco if you were ever in my neck of the woods, or vice versa. I am and will always be your number one fan, because I believe that you are headed for greatness. You and me are so alike in so many ways, and I want you to know that I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!! You are the most beautiful person I know! I hope that you know that I am always going be here for you, if for nothing else, to at least listen, because Lindsy! You always have a friend in me. I am going to call you before I leave the country so that we can catch up a little bit, but until then please keep in touch. I think of you often and am always curious as to what you are up to. Tell sumo that I miss him, and give Oscar a Kiss for me. Tell them both that I am sorry that their mother snores and drools in her sleep…. Oh wait that was me Until our paths cross again Evan
  21. I take 4 effexors, 4 depacote, 2 concertas, and a bc mini pill a day! That 11 pills! Yikes! I am bipolar manic/depressive ADD and these pills are supposed to be working, yet I find myself as depressed as ever. My doctor has uped my dosage again and again. IM TAKIN PILLS THE SIZE OF HORSE TRANQUILIZERS !!! Will I ever live a normal life? It seems that every thing I try seems to fail. I've been in group therepy for over a year, went to rehab for drugs/suicide attempt, had DOZENS of shrinks, physcologist, counsolers, therepist, ect... Am I just destined to be crazy? I dont wanna live in a mental ward and strut the fasious hannibal lecter mask and street jacket for the rest of my life! anyone got any advice?
  22. I am 14 and I have really liked this girl for a while now but she is a really good friend. I have told her how i feel but she is very shy when speaking about her feelings. I had arranged with her 2 weeks ago that i was going to stay over ni grandmas house on tues so that we could hang out together (she lives near mi grandma) but i was texting her today and she said that she wouldnt be able to come out with me because she was staying at her aunties house. I told her that i was annoyed because she had broken her promise. I said that if she didnt want to come out with me then she should just say and i asked if i should stay at my gramdmas another day and if she would come out with me if i did but she told me she really couldnt be bothered! I then sent her a text saying: "If you cant be bothered why didnt you just say to start with? You know that i want to see you sometime, we made plans ages ago for me to stay at my grans and now you have broken your promise. I know that you will be out with your mates but im a friend as well, or i thought i was. Are we still friends, if we are then why dont you want to cum out with me? If you dont text back then ill take it as a no." She text back saying: Yeah we are mates, i aint seen a lot of my friends at all this hol if uv got a problem with that then thats your problem not mine so dont get funny with me. I have never heard her speak like this, i am unsure if she is really staying at her aunties house - it may have been a lie because she had changed her mind about seeing me! I really fancy this girl and i dont want our relationship ruined by this. but i dont think she is amking much of an effort at us being friends. What should i do? can any1 give any advice? Thank you for taking the time to read this!
  23. I've recently confirmed my stupid best fren's behaviour 2 me and i'm going 2 leave the relationship. The thing is that after confirming it today i received news that my grandma had been dianogsed with colon tumuor. Do any of you have any advise for me?
  24. im a 19 year old high school graduate and i am afraid that my grandfather will die of cancer he pretty much smoked all his life and i am upset about it he is 72 years old i lost my grandmother 5 years ago through a stroke she was 65 i was 14 im now 19 and my grandfather is dying of cancer and i need help coping with this because it is to hard to deal with i dont know if i should go to his funeral because it will be hard if you have any advice on what i should do then please tell me thank you. cute_one
  25. okay ive got a friend whos really sweet, smart, kind, carring, and cute. shes 12 im 14. shes really she even though we are good friends. she gave me an anchor pin from her grandmother (she had two, she gave me one). whes allways relly nice and she loves nature and the sea as well as i do. i what to tell her how i fell but how? will she say yes? what if she says no and doesnt what to be my friend any more? please help! thanks for you time.
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