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About Me

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  1. Have You ever loved someone But knew they didn't care? Have You ever felt like crying But Knew you'd get no where? Have you ever looked into their eyes And said a little prayer? Have you ever looked into their hearts And wished that you were there? Have you ever felt their heartbeat, When the lights were turned down low? Have you ever whispered 'God, I love You' But you'll never let me show? Love is grand, yet it hurts so much. The price you pay is high. If I could choose between Love and Death, I'd rather choose to die. So do not fall in love, my friend, It doesn't pay a dime. It only causes broken hearts, Yet it happens all the time. So do not fall in love, my friend, You'll hurt before it's through. I ought to know this truth, my friend - I fell in love with you.
  2. The night you told me about Emily I said, “You’re not the person I thought you were” and that shocked you. You cried harder when I said that and you begged me not to mean it, but I did. I still do. The boy I fell in love with was sweet and kind. He was dedicated, devoted and loving. He would have never left me for someone else. The boy I fell in love with was also goofy and immature and I knew that he had a lot of growing up to do, and I was so excited to grow up with him. I knew that he could teach me a lot about letting loose and not taking life so seriously. That’s part of the reason why I fell in love with him in the first place. I knew that he would be a perfect balance to my personality. That’s such a rare thing to find and it turned out to be so easy. The boy I fell in love with was not afraid to tell me the truth. He was honest with me about absolutely every aspect of life. When times got tough or arguments heightened, he never let me walk away. He chased me no matter what because he knew that life without me was a little less happy and a lot less loving. The boy I fell in love with followed me out into the night when I was crying at sat with me in silence until I was ready to talk. He was loyal and true and I knew that, in time, he would accept me again despite my frustration and tears. The boy I fell in love with hiked with me in a snowstorm to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. The boy I fell in love with used to let me put my cold feet between his warm legs in bed. The boy I fell in love with held my hand when I was scared, encouraged me to pursue my dreams and always made me feel welcome in his arms. The boy I fell in love with went snorkeling with me in the cold November waters of the Pacific in silly wetsuits and masks. The boy I fell in love with planned a future with me and Claire and Coda in a house somewhere in the redwoods, or by the ocean, or in Chicago. The boy I fell in love with called me Bunny and wished me sweet dreams every night and thought I was beautiful every morning, even when I wasn’t. The night you told me about Emily you became someone completely different. You lied to me. You said you didn’t want to like her and that you didn’t want to break up, but your actions spoke differently. When I asked you to help me work it out, you pulled even further away and made no effort. You. Gave. Up. If you truly meant what you said, you would have distanced yourself from her as much as you could and worked on reconnecting with me. But you gave in to temptation. The boy I fell in love with would have done anything to hold onto me because he knew how wonderful I am and how special my love is. I don’t know who you are anymore, and I don’t care to. You’re cold and distant and disingenuous. If that is the type of person you want to be; if that’s the kind of boyfriend Emily wants, then she can have you. I love who you were. I am in love with who you used to be.
  3. This kinda pain doens't go away I have to deal with it and play my happy card To let everyone think I really can take the pressure... To make you think I didn't care like I did... But I can't lie anymore You lied to my f****** face Made me think I could keep your pace Guess what f*** you! I don't want to love you I don't want your s*** This heartache isn't what I signed up for This pain wasn't the plan Even now I wonder your truth... was I really "the love," the only one that was worht your existence? He's gone He left He isn't gonna stay for the rest He found fun in other things He wound up making me cry Even when forever was just another lie He's gone and found fun where he wants My heart hurts I feel lost again Cuz being found Is only in your arms When I lost you I knew it was true Thats when I felt like I had swallowed glue And guess what All I ever wanted was you. F*** you F*** this I don't need your s*** I found out That's right I know Don't lie It's gonna make me fight I wish you could make me fell better But that * * * * wasn't something to forget I trusted you I loved you And I get this? F*** you F*** this I don't need your s*** A HEART A heart is not a plaything a heart is not a toy but if you want it broken just give it to a boy Boys have to play around with things and see just how they run but when it somes to kissing they do it just for fun You'll wonder where he is at night you'll wonder if he's true one moment you'll be hapy the next you'll be blue Each chance you have to meet your heart begins to dance your world revolves around him there's nothing like romance But when it stops you'll wonder why you'll worry yourself away you see my friend I'm loosing him more and more each day Boys never give there hearts away they play all girls for fools one moment they say they love you the next moment there palyin it cool Don't ever give your heart away don't ever go astray for broken heart's count my friend it never turns out the right way Love is fine but it can hurt the price you pay is high if I had to choose between love or death I think i'd rather die So when I say don't fall in love you'll be hurt I know it's true you see my friend I know cuz I fell in love with you Well what do you think? -Ash
  4. This is the story of a girl who makes a mistake. The girl meets a boy who she deeply loves, and the boy loves her just the same. But she is new to the world of love and does not know how to keep it. The boy knows this, for he is nearly a man, and has been through the mistakes it takes to learn how to keep that love. He knows that this knowledge is not something that can be told and learned, but must be felt and learned. So he sits back and he waits. This boy enjoys his time with the girl, doing everything he can to build the relationship. He is successful as the girl feels better than she ever has. But one day the girl has a doubt, she starts to build a picture in her head that things could be better, that she can find someone better, or do whatever she wants with whoever she wants and have no consequence. She feels like there is no limit to the high so she plays with temptation. She soon cheats on the boy, and as the boy had been prepared to do he leaves her. The girl feels fine at first, but as the days pass she realizes how bad it really is. She remembers the joy she felt, and decides to try and get back the boy with the promise that she will never hurt that boy again. She goes to the boy and pleads with him to take her back, she tells him that her days of hurting him will never happen again. The boy still loves her, and he believes that she is sincere in her words. But the boy knows that there is a difference between believing what you say and meaning what you say. The boy does not take the girl back, for he is certain that the girl does not know the truth behind her words. The boy leaves, and never again does she hurt him, never again does she try to hurt anyone for that matter. So the story goes of the boy and the girl who fell in love, but never made it. The years go by and the girl after being true and honest for many years finally finds someone who makes her feel as good, if not a little better than the boy did. The boy does the same, as he was sure he would. One day the boy and the girl meet each other at random in a coffee shop. They talk for a moment, and give each other a look of sadness, for they know that something good was broken, and can never be gotten back. The days and the nights fill their life with joy, and although the girl is saddened by what she went through, she knew that the boy had acted in the most loving way possible, and made her become the woman she is today. END: Because you Because these things in life are so important. Sometimes learning is so important. Because you decide why you do it. Others do not decide for you. So the story goes
  5. Doesn't it just put you in your place? Isn't it incredible the way love puts us all back in our places? How it humbles us and resets our perspective on life? We've come along way the last 6 million years - from caves to communities, through thousands of years of philosophical evolution, building bridges, laying roads, overcoming obstacles our ancestors could never even concieve of. We've landing on the moon for christ's sake! We've split the bloody atom! We've turned the spotlight of science on the universe and the only thing more incredible than what we saw then was what we saw when we turned that spotlight back on ourselves. In the next 50 years we face threat of extinction at the hands of our own doing, and we're coming to terms with the fact that unless we play guardian to other species on the planet, they'll simply cease to exist - and even more phenomenal, we're beggining to embrace that responsibility. We've consistently overcome every obstacle in our path - disease, ignorance, war... we've even overtaken biological evolution, controlling our very genetics and refusing to accept death without a fight. We're not perfect, but we're close. Thanks to the combined development of human understanding within a single person's life we've elavated ourselves to such dizzy heights our humble past is but a spec on the horizon. And yet... despite all of this, there's one relic of our past that still defies us, the one relic that we consciously, willingly submit to. Love is the product of psychological defense mechanisms programmed by genetics and expressed through hormones and behavioural reactions with the ultimate aim of proliferating an individuals genetics into the next generation, preserving the species. There's no mystery, it simply exists because without it, we wouldn't exist in the first place. There's nothing divine about why we are attracted to one another, you can't pick your partner with a quadratic equation. We fall in love in the same way the first human's did as they stepped out onto the African plains. Which is why that's our mark. Our birthmark. No matter where we go or who we meet in the future, we carry that relic with pride because there's nothing that represents our species more than that. We may never unlock the final secrets of the universe before our sun burns out and our species is snuffed out, but that's alright, because I love you.
  6. I'm only 20 years old, but I've managed to fall in love with two remarkable men in my lifetime, just to have it all taken out from under me both times. Not too long ago I was wondering "How could this happen to me ... TWICE? Woe is me!" But nowadays I'm starting to see myself as incredibly lucky for having the opportunity to suffer through so many learning experiences. I never thought I'd get over my first love. I made so many desperate mistakes trying to get him back - calling, stalking, e-mailing, texting, crying, begging. I didn't start NC until nearly a year after the relationship ended. Even then, I didn't think I could ever fall in love again. I didn't think another man could ever love me the way he did. I don't know when I realized I was completely over him. I think it was approximately a year and a half after the relationship ended. I ran into him and I realized that I had no feelings toward him at all - positive or negative. I realized that I had no desire to contact him, no desire to ask him how he was doing or why he never told me he was married. We simply exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways. I don't think I'll ever see him or talk to him again. And that's completely okay with me. I feel like I'll never get over my second love, but now I'm realizing how blessed I am to know from experience that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. I just hope it won't take another year and a half! I made a slew of mistakes with my second ex, but never repeated the mistakes I made with the first ex. There was no calling, stalking, e-mailing, texting, crying, or begging. There was, however, post-breakup dating, and lots and lots of sex. Sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn from them, and I've definitely learned from all of mine. I guess I'm posting this to let you guys (and myself) know that THINGS WILL GET BETTER. I promise I promise I promise. Stay positive, love yourself, and know that you WILL fall in love again some day, even if you think it's not possible. In the meantime, friends are the most important people in your life right now, so let them help you through this - they want to see you happy. Everyone that has helped me through my rough times on this forum is a friend in my eyes
  7. I thought I'd come so far, My love. As easily as we fell into this I just assumed my mind would do the same; Fall in love for real and the rest is history. But it's still here, Whatever's wrong- With me, that is. The higher road, the better road... It's so much harder Than just.. Falling down the rabbit hole. It's seeping in Slow, some days.. Most, in a breath Everything's all wrong And undone. (1 step forward 3 steps back) If it could be carved out, This... Defective... I can't find the words. But I'd say, take it. Please, take it. You're the one thing I can't turn my back on. E.
  8. In the movie the Runaway Bride, Richard Gere's character, a reporter, does a story on Julia Robert's character, a small town woman who has left the altar about 4 times and is known as the title suggests. In his investigation as to "why" he not only falls in love with her but discovers one key fact. None of the approximately 4 men Julia ran from knew what kind of eggs she liked at breakfast. On the continuum of intimacy, how important is it to you that your partner know the minute details about your likes and dislikes, the minutae of your daily routine and mention them in a way that makes you feel important/special or just acknowledged? Importance is a relative term of course but I'll give you an example. I have seen many posts on this board about the importance of "deep" conversations to intimacy, about the importance of grand romantic statements of love, devotion, "above all others" and the like. Obviously those are important too. But in your daily life, does one type of communication make you feel closer to/bonded with your partner than the other?
  9. O.K. so I'm a girl...I tend to fall in love with women but am sexually attracted to men. I haven't had a relationship with a person of either gender. But can you be bisexual if you say...fantasize about being in a relationship with a woman but having sex with a man? ...Or if any sexual feelings you feel for a woman are secondary to or come along wit or are barely noticed compared to the emotions..the whole "falling in love" thing...And what if you can only picture yourself being in a relationship with a guy even though all of your heartbreaks have been caused by women, whereas the men you've liked seemed to only have been infatuation.....Oh, and I might have fallen in love with both guys and girls. but it feels different for each gender and this is all over the course of a lifetime, not just one person or something? And what exactly constitutes "falling in love?" What if I really just want companionship from women because I haven't been in a relationship and don't have anyone to talk to a lot? Yeah, I'm kind of confused...because I thought I was heterosexual and would date guys and everything, and I still want to...but when I think about it, the people I think of when I say "Yeah, I know about heartbreak, unrequited love, love" whatever...are usually women...usually - there are a few guys too. Please give me some advice. Thank you to anyone who's still reading this! (I know, I tend to ramble...)
  10. If any of you have read my previous posts then im talking about the same girl in all of them. Anyways im falling for this girl i met that lives 1000 miles away from me and i think its going to give me a lot of pain in the end. I dont know what to do about the situation, i dont even know if she even feels slightly the same way as i feel towards her. I just cant stop thinking about her, whenever i get the chance to just sit and relax i start to think about her. Ive called her a few times and ive enjoyed it so much i wish it could just last forever. Only one of my friends gives me positive support on this, also a fellow ENA person also gives me support. I just dont know what to do..i feel so lost and confused. Should i continue to talk to her the way i do now and risk falling for her even more, or should i just force myself to stop while i still can
  11. Hello. My Situation I'm right now in a relationship for 2 months. I know it's not that much. I mean we're both 18 years old. Anyway, we used to be friends and then we started liking each other and we decided to go out to see how it'll go. At first we both thought it would be like a Friends With Benefits relationship, but no, we started to like each other more and more every time and now we can call this a serious and official relationship. I'm the kind of girl of mind over heart. I don't like falling in love and getting hurt, and I'm not dumb and stupid in relationships meaning that I do not let a guy do whatever he wants with me. My dignity comes first than anything. I think I've never fall in love because I've never let it happen. Every time I feel I'm liking someone very much, I usually block myself and try not to feel anything more for the person. And this is what happening to me right now with the guy I'm dating. I'm scared, I guess. He's just like me in a guy version, me being much more in defense on falling in love. He usually tells me he's just letting things happen by its own and that he won't block himself and he wants me to do the same. But it's hard for me. Even more if he disappoints me and hurts me. His intentions are not hurting me or disappoint me, I think. He's really honest and he won't lie to me to make me feel better, and I like that, but I guess truth hurts sometimes. The Prob I've never found any problems against those who smoke weed or do drugs. I'm very open-minded about that, until now. I knew my boyfriend smokes weed and does drugs before I went out with him, and I didn't care at all. It's his life and I like him how he is and I'm no one to try to change him. But it's affecting me. He's smoking too much now and I found it not acceptable anymore. In fact, it disappoints me so much, HE disappoints me so much. It's a big let down for me now. And I'm trying so hard to accept him how he is, and accept his habits of smoking weed because I like him, and I want to be comfortable with everything he does, but it's so hard and it hurts, it hurts so much knowing he won't ever change for me, not that I would ever ask him to change for me because I don't want him to change, I mean, I would love for him to stop smoking but I know he won't and I won't ask him to stop. I don't want him to change for me, He won't change for me. He already told me he won't change for me and it hurts. VENTING It hurts because I'm not enough for him to change? I've told him few times this, about the disappointment and how it affects me, and you know? he tells me that if I don't like him for who he is, then I shouldn't be with him and this hurts me because I'm trying so hard to accept him how he is even though it affects me sooo much, and he tells me this and it hurts, IT HURTS SO MUCH. Am I not enough for him? Doesn't he care about my feelings? about how much harm he's making me? About how much he hurts and disappoints me? It hurts! How can I let myself fall in love with him without being scared, if he doesn't even think of me. I'm not saying he has to stop smoking (I wish, though) because I know he won't, but maybe he could talk to me and tell me he'll try his best to lower down or anything, but instead he tells me that if he slows down he won't do it for me, that he'll do it for him. Maybe he's right, but doesn't he think of me and how I feel? If he does it for him, he's doing it for me, too, but that isn't his intention. Doesn't he care about me? I'm so sad lately, and hurt, and disappointed, and I know I'm the kind of mind over heart strong girl with invisible barriers to protect myself from getting hurt, but I like this guy, I like him so much and even though it hurts I don't want to leave him, but there's always a limit. And sometimes I think I'm too much for him, and why should I be with someone who depends on smoking weed? That cares more about his weed than about his girlfriend's feelings? Bout how his actions hurt me? How his words make my heart break into 1000 pieces just when he says "I won't change for you, so if you don't like me then leave me." Someone who cared about someone wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that to him, because I wouldn't want him to leave me. If you say that it's because you really don't care about being or not being with the other person, because maybe I could've answer him "I don't want to be with you and I want to leave you" and he wouldn't mind. I shouldn't be with him, but I am, because I care about him this much and knowing he doesn't care about me as I do, hurts me. It breaks my heart.
  12. I told my ex I was gonna do NC in an e-mail, and she replied. She told me she was happy with her love life right now. She said usually her interest in someone dies down after a month - a month and a half, but exceptions are her current boyfriend and I. But then she said she realized she was using me to get over her ex, who she is back together with now, and that she's sorry. She also told me about something that I once told her, that I would always love her. She said in the e-mail that she really wants me to prove it. Needing to clarify on this before I did NC, I messaged her asking her why. Her: not tellin u to love me forever or prove to me that u will love me forever... but b4 wen we will still in a relationship i wanted u to prove that to me Me: I'm just wondering why it matters to you. If you can't like me back then there's no point to it. Her: there is.... Her: well was... Me: What is it? Her: i thot i wanted to b in a relationship where i m the one bein loved, and the person i love will always love me more than i love them Her: so that way, i kno i will always be in their heart Her: cuz if u do prove to me ... i will eventually fall in love with u. and i mean really. Her: theres no point of sayin anythin right now. i just want u to b happy, i m sry for bein selfish and jealous. u can hate me from now on Her: i just wanna say i m sry for askin so much Then I asked her honestly if she thinks there is a chance for us in the future. She could only say I don't know. So I'm not confused, but I really want to do things right at this point. If I prove to her I will always love her... she will eventually fall for me, or so she says. Now how do I do that? Just stay good friends with her and always be there for her?
  13. I am 30 years old and I fell in love. You can't tell your heart who and who not to fall in love with. i fell in love with a 1st cousin whose 18, who just came to the country a few years ago, so i didn't really know him but as we got to know each other we just fell in love. I know the relationship is not appropriate but we cannot let it go. I know he's younger on top of that and I am just lost. We are both lost because our families are tearing us apart. We've been hiding it for two years. I know the relationship will be looked down upon but in my eyes because we are in love i am blind to what everyone else sees. Do you feel we are wrong as well?
  14. Hello, my husband left me a month ago and i am taking it pretty hard. We had problems but we were working on it, this is the second seperation in 4 months. The first time I told him to leave this time he left on his own. We both were doing things wrong and we both wanted to be right fighters. I was changing the things that he didnt like and he was slowly changing the things that I didnt like. basically our problems was him talking to women online in more than friendly way. Eventhough I trusted he wouldnt do anything in real life he did fall in love with someone online. His problem with me, and why he says he left is because I was always checking up on him. He says he was tired of all the accusations and me being suspicious. He also says I was controlling and this is what I was working on because I was. And I did check up on him. I was working on that, but I slipped and checked and he left. He says he is over and done. He just couldnt take it anymore. He says he doesnt hate me, he says he loves me but isnt in love with me anymore. The problem is I cant let go of him. we have one child together and I love this man so much. For me he is my soulmate, my true love my other half and I want him back. My mind tells me to give up and let him go since that is what he wants. I want him to be happy, and he says right now he isnt. My heart wont let go though. I need him, I love him. He is my everything. Any advice on what to do? I am trying this since I am about to breakdown on all levels. Is there hope or am I just lying to myself?
  15. It's the second time Ive fell again I promise ill never ever love again For in the end All I do Is end up getting hurt by you Once, twice why don't I take my own advice Don't get close and you'll be happy Scared I always was, but pushed my way through Both times ended in nothing but * * * * I'm tired of these ways The way they hit you again and again With their appetizing fruit You bite it And become a mute You fall in love, and you make your way Down to misery hello again gloomy day They act if they care they say they wouldn't dare to turn away to go away for you're all they want for all there days yet one step around a different corner and poof your nothing but another runner so run, run, run again because I will never ever fall in love again
  16. How do you break the viscious cycle of meeting the wrong women, giving too much and then ending up destroyed by it when SHE ends it? I recently met a woman and we really clicked - things were great. She was coming on very strong, rush rush - but it didn't feel wrong - we just went with the flow. I trusted her, got closer to her - let her in...I didn't fall in love, but I did love her. From one weekend to the next - she was gone. Told me her emotions were all over the place, she probably just had cold feet, that she would probably feel completely the opposite next week....but something felt like it was missing and she was scared...things moved too fast. She left me that day, and I have never heard from her again. It has been over 2 weeks - my birthday has just passed - and not as much as a text message on my phone. For whatever reasons, I don't know - but it leaves me destroyed inside - and that is what I don't understand. No, she wasn't the greatest thing since sliced bread - but I still cared a great deal about her. Now she's gone completely - and I'm the one left thinking "SHE walked away from ME?"....and feelings of being absolutely good for nobody. Before I met her, I was fine - single, totally fine. I was in 2 relationships prior to meeting her and I was fine with those too - with them ending - or going nowhere. I've dated - no problems - I'm still me, and I know who I am. Now, after her - after goign through this with her - my entire world has been shaken up - and I just don't get it. Why her? Why is this happening after what I went through with her? I"ve been through thtis sort of thing before - and Ive come back each and every time....but my question is what am I doing wrong? Why does it still feel like the be all end all - that I am so worthless to her, and to any woman I may meet? It doesn't get easier the mor eit happens - it just gets harder it feels....so what am I doing wrong? What am I not learning? What am I supposed to do?
  17. Hi all. I was a frequent visitor to this forum about 6 months ago after my g/f broke up with me. I remember clearly that all I wanted to hear were some success stories from people who had successfully got back together with their ex partners. As this forum helped me so much during one of the worst times of my life (some of my worst moments are posted on here), I wanted to give something back and give those who are desperately in need some cause for optimism. My g/f and I got back together in May after 2 months apart. It didn't come easily, but in the end the patience, the time apart and most importantly, the No Contact was what really brought us back together. I took time out to re-discover the real me, the person my ex had fallen in love with back at the beginning. I read books (yes, relationship books), I became best friends with David DeAngelo and his eBook series!! I exercised like never before. I socialised. I took up the drums. I read page after page of threads on this forum. When all I was thinking about was her, I posted my thoughts, my regrets and even my tears while the wonderful, wonderful people on this forum helped me get through each day. At this point I must mention MajorD, Scruff and Enolaton. They may not remember me, but I sure fire remember those guys and their help and support. When contact was re-established (I broke NC), I kept everything to a minimum. I never brought up the relationship. I was never bitter. Everything I said was said in a positive light because we can't help being drawn towards those with a positive nature. I never complained about anything, ever. I never made fun of anyone in front of her because only insecure people do that. I even teased her gently. Everything I did was done with a cool, confident smile. But its important to state that how I was behaving wasn't an act. I wasn't trying to be somebody I wasn't just to impress her. As a result of our time apart and six weeks of strict no contact, I had actually become that same independent, interesting, confident and funny guy that she had initially fallen in love with 2 years earlier. I was me again without actually realising it. You may think that six weeks isn't a long time, but to me, it was an eternity. It wasn't all easy though. I had to keep my burning love for her under wraps and let her come to me. But in the end she could see the true differences in me. I tried to add a little mystery. I didn't tell her everything I had been up to and gave her just a taste of what she had been missing! In the end she couldn't resist and asked me back within a couple of weeks. It's now six months since we broke up and four since we were re-united. Our relationship has never been better. I know everybody's situation is different but sometimes there is hope. But there are no magic ways. You just have to look after yourself, because the more you do, the sooner you will move on. There are always doubters who say that people break up for a reason, and you know what? They are absolutely right. Me and mine broke up for the best reason possible - so we could get back together and fall in love all over again! I remember something I read on this forum and I kept saying it to myself. "If you're going through hell, keep going, it gets better." I want to thank the guys and gals who helped me so much. I hope you all find the happiness that you deserve. Love Rob
  18. Well im a really shy kid, i dont talk much to many people and up till recently i was in average shape now getting to be looking better tho. about 3 years ago i started talking to this guy on line and we were best friends, he commited suicide but i also have an alternate account on which i have people that i know but dont know its me sort of like an alias, now someone ive confided in about my loss and ive fallen in love with her, i know she feels a spark but she dosnt want to say anything becasue we havnt met i want to tell her who i am but i think sheel think me a creep or just wont want to talk to me me what should i do? i was thinking since im clever and always have something to say maybe i could be myself and she could fall for me that way if thats the case can someone tell me how to make introductions to people you already know? becasue if i can get in with the group she hangs out with i believe i can get her to see the real me any help would be greatly appreciated.
  19. A while ago, I found out that I was falling in love with my best friend – yeah, the classic scenario. It's like you never buy into all of the clichés, until it happens to yourself. I do tend to crush on people quite easily, but those are mostly so superficial (and pretty funny); it’s nothing like I feel this time around. He's been my friend for almost 8 years, and he has been with me through some very hard times. My life changed dramatically (for the better) last year; he helped me get through the hardest period in my life (family and stuff), which I’ll be thankful for the rest of my life, no matter what. We’ve always been really good friends, but it wasn’t until 2 years ago that we became best friends. We can talk about everything with each other and do so. There’s a mutual sense of respect between the two of us, something I cannot find myself having with anyone else. He’s basically everything I want in a guy, and it astonishes me to have realized it just recently. We used to act like complete dorks around each other, yet when we needed someone to talk to, we knew where to find one another. But lately it feels like something has changed; it might be the fact that we’ve both matured a lot last year (we both started university, which turned life upside down). We definitely have another kind of friendship, something I can’t explain somehow. He’s always been such a genuine and supportive person, and I found out I was falling in love with him overnight. It’s like, all of a sudden, I woke up and found myself wanting to be with him; I saw him in a completely other light and my heart has been craving for him ever since. Lately I've been sending out some rather classic signals, although it's so hard to tell whether he picks them up. Feeling the way I do, it’s like I’m (over)analyzing everything he says or does when I’m around. The way he looks at me, how he touches me, especially what he tells me. He would call me out of the blue, asking me how I feel, if I have had any results back from my doctor (I’ve been suffering from epilepsy, but it somehow might be over), telling me how he would love that etc... There was this other thing once, when I was feeling pretty down and I told him I felt like I was missing something in life, and that my life was pretty worthless, he answered ‘What about me?’. I can’t help but think (or hope, for that matter) that he was trying to tell me something. But that might all just be me overanalyzing things ;-). A couple of weeks ago, he suddenly asked me to go to the movies and eat out afterwards with just the two of us, which we never do (other friends go with us otherwise). To this day, I’m still confused if I should interpret it as a proper ‘date’, or if it was just us, as best friends. I know that, as his friend, I’m ought to tell him how I feel and everything, but I can’t find the courage to do it, as I don’t want to risk what we have. Before telling him, I want to make sure there’s something on his side as well, but I can’t seem to get any clear sign. Basically, I have no idea whatsoever how I can be ‘certain’ or at least have a clue whether he’s feeling something as well.
  20. i met this woman and i fell in love with her okay after 6 months we go out and well i got ever drunk adn she had a few drinks anyway alot of things went down that nite and she came to a gas station to get me i was lost in a big city well i was mad at my self and what was going i had way to many drinkks well i asked her to tell me how to get to the highway and she didnt just asked what was going why i was so mad i was going to tell her that nite i was planning on moveing to her city and wanted to let her know i was thinking of asking her to be my wife in time that she is the only one i want anyway when we went out i saw a friend i havent seen in 20 yrs so we drank and drank told stories and so on and started talking about fighting and so on lol but it was just talk like ill kick your butt as we did as kids and so on well she wasnt in to that and so she got up i was like man what was going on anyway i walk out side she is in her van and said nite i was liek man this chick is leaveing me well we wasnt to far from her house any way but i took that to heart and then here we sit in the car a few hours later when i had all this great stuff to to her but was drunk and mad now anyway every thing got bad from there she pulled the keys out and broke the thing and the keys wouldnt work any more i was like okay look we have been satting here for an hour in a bad spot of town and you need to go now befiore the cops come she was like no and wouldnt go she has two kids at home and so on i wanted her to go she wouldnt so i was liekk well get this chick outta here anyway you can so i acted liek a nut and she stayed the long she stayed the more i nutted up anyway now she thinks that i am teh kind of man that would hurt her and so on and i have never hit a woman in my life i dont even hit my son or yell at him anyway now i am broking hearted cus she is like give me space and so on and told me she doesnt want to lose me or push me outta her life but doesnt want to date me and one day we can become frineds based on trust and respect ,it kills me i asked her for a chance and asked if sshe ever given any one a 2nd she said yes but its a no go sayying that she has been hit by her exs and its going to stop how can i show her that i am not a nut or would hit her okay wel the nut part i am but not in a way that would ever hurt her i talked with her the other day for the frist time and she was like in fear i can here it in her voice that made me sick after all that went down i havent been able to eat or sleep or any thing for days and now i heard that in her voice it hurts to the core of my being that she thinks that way of me and that i have hurt her that way
  21. She scans the speckled ceiling for patterns indicating life faces come, and when they go none are wearing smiles She loves herself hates the world often ponders on the verb "to be" She thinks it might be best to live alone She falls in love with shadows feels the sky and everything that moves and always wondered why she was the only one who could She knows the pain hates to cry She asks herself why is everyone so cold and blind? how they mass like schools of fish illusory protection brightly colored stripes in every color of denial they could swim away to open water and be free She wanders in a universe her own or so it maybe seems She doesn't end where I begin She tore apart my sovereignty made me understand that I am hungry, cold and blind represents for me the Yin a Force without which I am ill-defined She disagrees She doubts in me managed to elude a reciprocity light devoid of heat like so much fire in a dream of what use is a dream? I found the will to view it philosophically regaining my composure and a measure of my dignity it is to be She is free and all the dots scatter
  22. My first love broke up with me two months ago and up until Saturday I was still spending time with him and contacting him like a mad-woman. He treated me so badly though , that i decided yesterday to cut him off and out and start healing. He's been seeing new people and has made a bunch of new friends (girls too!) and now I'm so afraid of seeing him somewhere and I keep thinking of all the girls who will fall in love with him just like I did! I don't want to hurt anymore. Any advice??
  23. and the title basically sums it up. but i do, and yes im still young, but people my age (15, 16 ish...) can fall in love too. im sick of being alone...feeling like the only virgin left in the world...ugh...feeling like the only one who just isn't interested in someone. and oh yes, i've fallen very hard before...but for some reason, no one is sparking my interests. so what if im not looking...i don't want to have to look. i want to wake up one day and be completely and utterly surprised. like it normally happens. i want it to be when i least expect it. BUT WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG!? i want to fall in love! i want to be crazy over someone and have someone crazy over me. what if i go through high school without experiencing love. then what? ah, im not quite sure why im writting about my problems on here...maybe someone will actually listen.
  24. Dear Dumpers, "falling out of love" seems to be one of the biggest reasons for a breakup. for those of you who have been in a LTR of 1 year or longer, and if you claimed to "fall out of love" with your partner ... what are the reasons that made you feel this way? for example ... at a high-level, very generally speaking, we can say something like "unmet expectations" .. if we drill down a little further we may be able to attribute this to the dumpee either changing from the person whom we fell in love into someone that dis-attracted us, OR we got to know the dumpee was not really the person that we fell in love with in the first place (symptom of people putting on best behaviour during the courtship phase) another example could be, over the years the dumpee failed to take care of themselves physically (became fat or sickly or whatever) and thus we "fell out of love" with them ... the above were just two examples, i'm looking for other reasons (details, not high level fluff) what you dumpers have felt that caused you to "fall out of love" let's hear it! remember, i'd like to focus on dumpers who claim to have "fallen out of love" .. ultimately I hope this thread can give us some insight into things that may help us poor dumpers from doing things that may trigger the "falling out of love" feelings
  25. I fell in love with my best friend. I know everyone has done this at least once in their lives but I went absolutly crazy over this.....emailing him and calling him day after day. The problem is that I want his friendship back so badly that it is killing me but he will not talk to me. He originally said that we needed time apart but I never gave it that time now I feel even if I stop trying to contact him that so much damage has been done that he will never want to have me in his life again.....so how do I right the wrong and get my friend back ?
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