Michael_H

yea you have phimosis I have the same thing and got some topical steroids from my doctor and with that plus stretching it isn't really a problem anymore, not at were I want it to be but its no longer painful or that restrictive. so go gets some topical steroids from your doctor and stretch it alot should solve the problem. I considered circumzition too but I would advise against it as the whole process is extremely painful and there is a long recovery time and a good level of risk that you could get an infection and possibly lose your penis, also you lose alot of sensation so masturbation/sex will not feel as good ever again.

Yea thanks to everyone for their advice. Breaking up with her was very hard and is still ongoing. Originaly I planned on moving out and just getting away as soon as possible but after looking for an apartment I realized the one I already have is alot better than anything I can find, I dont wanna have to give up my apartment just to get away from her sooner. in the meantime I told her she has to move out by the 1st, she would always say yea i'm looking but she never actually called any place or did any real looking so I made her a list of places with phone numbers. still need to get all her belongings together and out of my apartment. Im staying at my parents house until she is gone, and that will be on jan 1st at the very latest, if she doesn't leave by then I'll get her physicaly removed by the rcmp, as her name is not on the lease and she has no legall claim to stay living there. its been sooo hard to follow through on all these things, the way she talks to me about all the issues is really confusing, because she truly believes there are no issues except for those that are my fault, and she never does anything wrong and if I ever bring up a recent example of her insulting me/hitting me etc she justifies it somehow, sometimes it really leaves me feeling like its my fault and I should strive to not upset her and make her happy. because I still have feelings for her and I really wish that things could be repaired and that she would respect and love me. I know its never going to happen, but I dont really realize that it is never going to get better until the next time she makes me cry, then its all very clear but later she acts like nothing happened and I'm just a cry baby or being "emo" and I forget/repress the whole traumatic event until next time she phsyicaly/emotionaly/verbally abuses me. its hard to get prespective on the whole thing, because she is so good at making it seem as though she does no wrong and I am the sole reason for any problems. anyways I really apprecaite all the help and advice I have received here. I dont think I would of been able to follow through on this whole break up if not for the prespective I got from everyones advice. I am really looking forward to starting the new year with out looking back. thanks again to everyone

Thanks for all your advice everyone. I finnally got enough courage to tell her how I felt and that I never want to see her again, which was really hard to not just say we should take a break or we should maybe change somethings but to actually spit out the words and mean it that I never wanna see or talk to her ever again. and we are officialy broken up and hopefully I can start the recovery process and move on.

wow thanks for all the replys, I think I made it sound alot worse than it is. first of yes this is my first and only relationship. and I sleep in the closet because we only have a 1 bedroom apartment and she doesn't like me sleeping in the bed with her, when I used to I would have like the 10% of the side of the bed with no covers and she would like to stretch out and would often kick me off the side. she says she cant sleep in the same room as me because of my loud breathing. I was sleeping on the futton in the living room but she didn't like getting up while I would still be sleeping, so we have a little storage room/closet that has room for a skinny lil bed, well its just a foamy on the floor, it wasn't her suggestion I sleep in there but i found it a nice retreat that was quite (her typing and talking while late night gaming was hard to sleep beside while on the couch when I had to get up early for work). and yea she has never had a job and I usually do (dont right now going to college full time) but she comes from a very wealthy classy family where everyone is a rich lawyer (dad, mom, brother) and I come from low class family and I grew up in a trailer park (wasn't always that way but my dad died and my mom was just a homemaker with 3 kids no education, but she took night classes and did a good job raising us and supporting us). money is a big thing because I basically have none, really struggling to get through college and she has an endless bank account, credit card that her dad pays for, and a nice car that I get to use (mostly to go get her food lol). so I get to eat alot of take out which I would otherwise never afford, and we went on a few trips that I could of never afforded ( I still had to pay as much as I could which basically bankrupted me and I'm in serious debt). but yea it seems easy to say "run for the hills" when you hear about the bad things but it really isn't THAT bad, I mean she isn't hitting me all the time, maybe once a week or so she jokeingly will play around and hit me, it doesn't really hurt alot but I still dont like it and always flitch even when she goes to touch me. but its not like i'm just a leech of her, I still pay half the rent and bills, and used to pay half the food when I was working but she basically pays for all the food right now. sometimes when I think about the money issues I feel like I'd be better off on my own because I'd have more say in how I spent it, mostly not having to spend lots on trips cause that really hurt me financially. and with her "e-boyfriend" she doesn't really like him, well I wouldn't say that but they never have cyber sex or anything, she basically uses him to help her advance on the game faster, and leads him on so he will continue to go out of his way to help her. when I voice any objections to her and this guy she freaks out saying stuff like "what should I never talk to anyone? I should never be allowed to have any friends or talk to anyone ever???" which is not what Im saying but its pretty obvious that the guy thinks its a serious relationship, he always calls her pet names and they spend lots of time together and he talks about coming to visit her. my biggest issue is the intimacy, I really like cuddling and hugs and everything like that but she doesn't, if we could just get that sorted out I think things would be alot better, she used to go to a therapist and phycaitrist (sp? lol) and I feel like if we could do some counseling things could get better. and when she quits gaming that will be great cause right now I bearly talk to her or hang out with her, but a few weeks ago I was helping her with finals and she didn't game all week and it was really a great time because I actually got to spend time with her. I dont know its so easy to look in and say omg she is so bad etc but I mean there are some issues I just need to get them resolved and things could be great and we could get married and have a family. I really love her and it makes me feel good alot of times when I take care of her, and things like prepare her a nice meal and set it out for her and she is very thankful and nice. its not like she is always yelling at me and hitting me. and I think once I finish school and get a nice job that she will have more respect for me because right now she sees me like her family does, low class uneducated, and basically not worthy. and I started working out recently so I think once I have a really chisled/ripped physique that she will be more attracted to me. I just need some time to get a good career and become more attractive and things will get better. and after some counseling I think the intimacy issues could be resolved. I don't know... I want a future with her but right now I just feel like I wanna get out of the stresses. we've talked about getting different apartments recently and I think that will help alot. she will have to make her own food and do her own laundry etc, then later when we move back in together she will be able to do more around the house. I feel bad making it look like she is this horrible person because she is not, and I love her alot. I just need some help getting through these tough times, because I really think it will be better in the future.

so a little background info. been in this relationship with my girlfriend for about 6 years now. I would say we have a pretty disfunctional relationship to say the least. before she met me her old boyfriend supposedly "raped" her, by raped I mean he would force sex with her whenever he wanted and she would cry during the sex and he would care, she tried to kill herself with her meds but was saved at the hospital. at the begaining of our relationship we had sex often, maybe once every few days, and she would always just lay there basically traumatized and let me do her, she said later that she only let me have sex with her so much because she didn't want me to leave her, but after she became more secure in the fact that I loved her and wasn't going to leave her she basically stopped having sex with me. she is a pretty sexual person and probably masturbates at least once a day to some of the nastyest porn you can think of, but whenever she does I have to leave the apartment, or sometimes just the room, but she can never do it when I'm around. even if we were watching some porn on tv or finished having sex or anytime she was ever having an orgasm I could never be in her presense. over the last few years I think we probably had sex once a month, and that sex would be her masturbating by herself to orgasm (while I was out of the room/apartment of course, not 1 exception) so she can get wet then she would lay on her back and not move a muscle while I got on top and she would say stuff like are you done yet, or hurry up etc, and it would last on tops maybe 3 minutes before either she kicked me off or I managed to orgasm. afterwards she would instantly leave the room and be obviously upset. so over the last few days she has been getting pretty horny, probably because she has some internet boyfriend that she is always playing world of warcraft with all day and chatting with on voice chat, I see their text and he is always like oh sweetie, night hun, do you really like me? and all this other e-boyfriend talk. we haven't had sex in about 3 months. ok so today she asks me if I want to have sex and I had to think about it because its really strange for her to ask for it (I can't remember her ever asking before, maybe once) and I dont even like it, leaves me feelign all weird after. anyways she says that I can only have sex with her if I "rape" her and I am really aggressive, like her ex was when he basically would rape her, and she said at the time she really didn't like it but thinking back it makes her horny. so I agree and she tries to explain what she wants, so I grab her pick her up and carry her into *her* room ( I sleep on the floor in the closet no joke) and proceed to take her clothes off and talk dirty and bind her hands behind her back, and attempt my best at "raping" her, but thing is... I was so weirded out by the whole experince, and the fact that she constantly was critizing how I was doing, saying oh god you can't kiss can you, no dont do that, god do this!!! your doing it wrong!!! I am really not enjoying it at all but trying my best to do what she wanted. after about 5 minutes she says this isn't working and to "hurry up and finish" so i just say I finished when I didn't, in fact my penis was bearly erect I could bearly penetrate her anyway ( I dont have any kind of ED problems ever before, very healthy and young "23) so I got off and felt so terrible I instantly had to get out of the apartment. oh and also she said before we started that after I had to clean the entire apartment, she usually does this though, whenever we had sex in the past 3 years I always had to do something right after, like wash the dishes or something in return for her letting me do her. our relationship is so messed up, I love her but I really feel like I just want to excape!!! anyway I can, I just wanna run away and never see her again. please I need some advice, I dont know what to do. some other weird things about our relationship would be that every single day I have sole responsible for feeding her and I have to make dinner every night or bring home take out, she is seriously like a 50's husband that goe "Whats for dinner!!!!" and I do all her laundry and all the house work, I mean seriously she has never done anything even one time. she just plays online computer games 24/7 (thats how we met but I quit gaming 2 years ago) and she also hits me but she feels like its no big deal and it doesn't hurt and I am just a big baby, she is a big girl (6,0 200lbs) and used to be a college athelete so she is really strong, and it seriously hurts when she hits me and I really hate it, usually only like 4 or 5 times has she spazed out and really went at it slugging me, but usually she thinks its funny to punch me in the nuts or slap me or her favorite is to just sucker punch me in the mouth when Im not expecting it. so I am crazy to stay in this relationship? I mean it really isn't as bad as it sounds, most of the time she is really funny and I enjoy being with her, but there are so many messed up things that I am seriously thinking they will never change and I should get out of the relationship while I am still sane. what should I do? convince her to try couples counseling with me or separate and only get back together if things change? it is really stressing me out and I usually smoked alot of weed to excape from the bad feelings and when she would be ignoring me playing online I would go smoke up but I quit smoking recently and seems like I can't handle it anymore with out the excape of getting high. please give me some helpful advice/insight!! thanks in advance