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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. My ex is and what he did is really getting to me, I know it sounds selfish but I wish I could just keep being hurt or me hurting myself non stop as I'm finding it hard and I'm really feeling ***ed up. I honestly, do not know if what he did can keep me alive, I feel so hopeless and alone and my head is full of rubbish I cannot cope I really just want a hug 😭
  2. You heard of Suicide Letters and Cliff Notes Now I'm picking up the tempo I wanna die Shotgun blast right through my eyes Cut off ties I don't need you and you don't me Just leave me to contemplate my misery You never cared so what's it to you A woman made of lies I wish I could have seen right through you You came built me up Feel me up like I gave a You with my head Sprawled naked on my bed Legs up, Causing all kinds of ruckus Under the covers Now you leave With me on my knees I gave up everything for you I only live to adore you I'm mad depressed Getting off my chest I left my family because of you Left my job because of you Left my friends because of you Even made friends with the people you introduced to You were my queen Now you a bad dream Tearing at the seams I just want to scream I wanna get rid of all this hurt Of all this dirt Damn it hurts How could I be so dumb Chalk it up to being full of cum I wish I could go back in time Click stop and hit rewind Then I find you are an imposter Like Mr. Brooks starring Kevin Costner So just to reiterate You are the person that I hate.
  3. To be honest at 1st I didn't want to post any of my poems here but im at my lowest and it feels good to know there are people out there who listen This one is about my battle with suicide I have thoughts everyday As the days go by I miss your touch so my dark suicidal thought are a must do I let the noose kiss my neck or the blade hold my vain some say my thoughts are selfish and vain but you not understand my pain should I let the gas shut my brain down or jump from the highest thing in town my lovely suicide my lovely suicide why wont your thought subside
  4. Every moment is a constant struggle Every moment is a constant huddle Thinking if I get over it Somehow I can just make it Then something gets in my way And I spend all day Trying to make it go away See I smile, but it hides A pain that I keep buried inside It's under lock and key and can't be released Filed away in my memories I can remember when I first thought about suicide Age 10, wishing I could die Didn't want to slit my wrist Didn't know you could die like this I saw on tv that a doctor killed the elderly Assisted suicide, somewhat of a felony Its illegal thats what the law says Thought if I knew the guy everything would be okay 15 years later and still dreading everyday This ain't no suicide note so don't be stressing Just writing about the pain that's been festering There are times when I can't get out of bed There's a pain throbbing in my head I look over at the girl next to me Numbing all my misery She looks at me with those beautiful eyes Just another reason to live this lie Maybe one day I grow up and be big Fans coming asking for my sig Till that day I won't be content Just another negro late on his rent
  5. Need some comments and suggestions... A friend asked that I illustrate his short story, the end scene of which is the lovers in a final embrace after they have both committed suicide. I've reworked the woman's neck a couple of times and have become frustrated. I don't want to do any more work on it because the integrity of the paper will start to suffer. I'm wondering if it is realistic looking as is or if I do need to change her throat (maybe some suggestions as to what its lacking). link removed
  6. Fade to black Whiskey and pills No way back Lost will, forever still World in past Blood spilled My life I have killed Kids laugh and cry Love destroyed never to return Suicide in my eyes So many ways So many reasons Life faded away Heart torn and betrayed No more tears no more laughs Joy and misery combined Another world left behind God tried to take me once Now I want to go Me he no longer wants
  7. Human Through the heart's yearning I've felt a place where souls bathe each other in unconditional light Eternal warmth flows through caresses enfolding; they nurse the deepest, vilest scars only with certainty that you and I are the same Credit is no currency, only the privilege of giving and receiving And if that fails to comfort, the vision of possibility radiating as a sphere amidst a field of whispers, illuminates darkest doubt. Doctors, merchants, lords, an aviatrix gather in silent conclave with spirits of the past - a Joan of Arc, a Lincoln, a child, lovers, a nameless suicide, a murderer condemned... What would the dead tell us if we gave them voice? Ask again: who's to say what tomorrow holds? Adrift in a universe whose secrets we cannot plumb, we bumble like astronauts whose only contact with Home is a small and crackly radio Today I may fly, as in dreams we share to visit you, bouquet in hand Nevermind that cold stone - The Great Wall of China could not reach here, nor touch that inner freedom to paint sapphire skies upon the world's cold oceans. Through the mind's eye I've seen a place free from pinning daggers of circumstance, free from shackles of static failure... Each of us may pioneer her own piece of the Divide, employing broken bones in sanctuaries of sturdy truth ...Would you meet me there? Would you grant me bliss of your presence? Perhaps we may unearth that ancient art, and wielding its power unfold what it means to be Human
  8. Hi What exactly happen with a person with depression? Are they suicidal? Are they gloomy? Would the depression affect their ability to socialize or work? Would it affect you towards making pesimistic decision? Does it hurts you a lot? How does depression affect you in life? And how do you overcome it?
  9. i'm a survivor of a suicide attempt.. i took an overdose of pills 15 tablets 2b exact.. i was uncontrolably scared and unhappy and frustrated.... my parents were not understanding me but instead pressuring me whch lead 2 my suicide attempt th hardest thing abt surviving a suicide attempt is the shame that u face afterwards society places a stigma on u as a 'freak' somebody who's mentally 'unstable'... we who try to commmit suicide r no less sick than cancer patient our pain is real our problems r real.... i regret the night i spent in d hospital wid a tube in side me puming out all those pills... however tryig to commit suicide did not change or solve my problems wen i was realeased from the hospital all my problems were still there. i haven't been cured and i still am sick and depressed and overwhelmingly stressed i do wish 2 die but for wat i went through that night i cannot try 2 take my life again... but i do want to die.. please ppl out there help me fight this my own ppl r not wid me, my bf has left me, he left me in my time of need... i have no one someone pls help why should i live? i need an answer 2 that....i get a tight feeling in my chest everytime i'm stressed and i run tobthe phone 2 call my bf and he doesn't want 2 hear me orsupport me infact he has found another gf... i get up trembling in the middle of the night.. crying uncontrolably.. i cant function properly and my heart is broken my life is broken i cannot live widout my bf i need his support my parents do not understandand r involved in there own probs and i feel itsbetter 2 die than stay another day on this earth grieveing and suffering like this..... i have nothin 2 live 4..... studying getting a good job is pointless wen ur life is filled wid loneliness like minei have nvr experienced tru love or happiness i have always given up my happiness and given 2 everybody else its too over bearing i can't handle watching myself in the mirror, everytime i close my eyes i ask god why am i here? and why r u punishing me? i already took counciling but it hasn't worked, i don't sleep properly.... i don't wanna eat i get blackouts a few times 4 the day... i go deaf wid the silence i'm surronding by i have troubling breathing i'm reaching out 4 help but no ones helping me,i think to myself that god does not love me or care 4me otherwise i wuld nvr b this way but wat have i done 2 deserve this? i am sick and in need i cannot b put on any medication because of my suicide attempt, i cannot b sedated wen i'm in pain.. my body is filled wid pain somedays i can't move but inside of me especially my chest is filled wid anxiety and uneasiness and i feel like if i can see my bf or talk 2 him or just hav him hold me i'll b ok... pls this is my last chance HELP ME B4 I SINK
  10. Note: We are freshmen in college. I was trying to encourage my friend to pursue honors classes at our university, even though she didn't get into the honors program. I think she took not getting into the program quite hard. I didn't realize how hard until this conversation I had with her. She said specifically, "you're not getting it. If I "tried to get into Honors and I didn't. I will ****ing kill myself... you think i'm joking. but I'm not" She later went on to say, "even if I wanted to kill myself... [her boyfriend] would stop me >.>...i mean [her boyfriend] would be the only reason why I wouldn't do it" I know her roommate quite well and trust her, so I brought this to her attention. She said that she didn't notice anything to this severity but did feel this person was very stressed out at times, especially with the college change. We discussed my friend for quite a while. Afterwards, we went over to our student health center and looked at a few pamphlets on suicide. We then decided to call a mental health hotline to get their advice. The hotline suggested that we confront our friend with this and encourage her to seek help. The roommate and I are this girls two best friends. I want to help my friend, but I would prefer to do it in a way that doesn't result in her hating us. But I would also prefer her hating me rather than her dead. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should approach my friend with this or when would be the best time? Thanks.
  11. Ok well i've been battling SI and depression for years. Its been so hard and a horrible time. I finally got over always feeling so bad and although i'd already seeked help from someone, it wasn't the help i needed. So i have now spoken to my school nurse and two of the closest people to me in this world Mike and his son (around 19) Isaac. I told them all about my SI but kept my attempted suicides between me and Mike and Isaac as i thought Mike would keep things confidential. Well Isacc told me that he thought i should tell Mike and so i did. The only problem was Mike decided that he was getting (not reached but getting) to the point where he couldn't keep this a secret any longer. He wanted to tell the priest at church and everything. I could not bear for him to find out so i decided that maybe people were right. Maybe i did need to see a councillor. I asked my school nurse about it all and she arranged for me to call Mike and talk to him and see if he would come with me. We are still unsure if he is able to (due to the fact that i'm a minor and his an older man and his had a bad experience before) but at least i know i am going and i won't be alone. My only problem now is that i'm terrified of this. I don't know who i am without it... I guess i just need reassurance that what i'm doing is right... I don't know but i do know i'm scared out of my mind. Sorry if nothing i said really made sense i'm just so confused and all over the place.
  12. I have a friend that lives in a different state. I got a call last weekend from someone telling me that my friend had tried to slit her wrists the night before and she was in the hospital. My friend has always had issues and always looked for approval in other people, and I think being away from her family and friends (she moved to another state for a guy that she met, whom she found out about a month later was actually married ) brought her to an ultimate low. She drinks way too much and gets depressed and her friends out there are not really what you call friends. She's moving back home now, which is good. But how can I support her? I mean, I want to be there for her, but I want her to learn how to be happy with herself without relying on other people for approval. I want her to learn to love herself. And, in the past when we visit each other, or when she was still living in town with me, all we did was party. With the way she is right now I"m not going to be going out to bars and drinking with her, I think she needs to stop drinking all together. What are things I can do and say to help her, and how should I go about helping her help herself?
  13. Well im a really shy kid, i dont talk much to many people and up till recently i was in average shape now getting to be looking better tho. about 3 years ago i started talking to this guy on line and we were best friends, he commited suicide but i also have an alternate account on which i have people that i know but dont know its me sort of like an alias, now someone ive confided in about my loss and ive fallen in love with her, i know she feels a spark but she dosnt want to say anything becasue we havnt met i want to tell her who i am but i think sheel think me a creep or just wont want to talk to me me what should i do? i was thinking since im clever and always have something to say maybe i could be myself and she could fall for me that way if thats the case can someone tell me how to make introductions to people you already know? becasue if i can get in with the group she hangs out with i believe i can get her to see the real me any help would be greatly appreciated.
  14. ok...since i was 10 years old till now and still it is going i feel very very bad....i just believe that everyone hates me for who i am ...i spent hours and hours crying ..and i cant find help anywhere ..i almost dont have any friends people always pick up on me even my family like when my 11 years olded brother do something and i talk to him its like i am killing him or something ...that day my mom told me that i am the one thats effecting on my brother and i am the one thats turning him devilish and that she always have to carry my stupid complains to her ..i just shuted my mouth up and went crying I believe nobody like me at all...in school i always walk alone and sit alone and its not a good feeling lately i have lost my smile and i became too depressed that i cant even smile , instead i just cry for hours which buggs everyone off...Is there's any solution ? Why do people behave bad to me..if they cant help? Before i posted my problem and people made fun of me ..now i just feel worthless and despressed...also i ferel like i am sorta less than everybody else.. i tried to suicide but i just couldnt do it now its ok for me if i tried again to suicide...i may do it without hesitation...what i am saying here people is a part of the whole thing...i would be very very grateful to those who will help me to even get over it particially...is there's any hope ? i dont think so Dina
  15. I originally found this site looking for suicide forums, but this forum seems appropriate for what I have been dealing with all my life. I have social phobia, I had problems all my life socializing with anyone and it started in childhood and progressed from there. The first time I was called Fag, was toward the end of my 5th grade yr. I still remember it vividly, my problem was I didnt stick up for myself and say No Im not. I muddled my way through 6,7,8 grade with a few inuendoes here and there. I always found girls attractive, but couldnt bring myself to ask one out. During this time I found that I would get jealous of guys, and how they looked. I wanted to be them. But not sexually wanting to be with them. That feeling continues today, Well then Highschool started or what I like to call Hell school.. Freshman year I did start to open up a little more, I thought here is the chance to start over....Well, I never went to any parties, never went to any prom, hardly had anyone I could call a friend, didnt even go to a football game. Looking back, freshman year wasn't all that bad. But I never fit into any so- called groups, jocks, preps, etc..then toward the end of sophmore year..is when things really started to fall apart. I was staying after class to make up a test. and I took a break and starred out the window for about 1 minute looking at birds, OBLIVIOUS to a guy that moved in 3 feet away from the window. Well, I turned my head and saw this girl looking at me, And I can still see the disgust in her face.. and I even heard her say to a group of her friends he was starring at joes * * *. But as like when I was younger I didnt stand up and say what really transpired. That was the turning point as far as my good hs experience. The rumor spread quickly and and people started laughing at me here and there. Then Junior year started and guys and girls would laugh at me walking down the halls, say fag, * * * * * *, * * * * *, queen, homo, and the few friends that I did have started avoiding me, It got so bad that, I could no longer eat in the lunch room without being accousted. So I would just go into the library, and in classes guys would try and intimidate me... I was never physically assaulted, because I was 6ft. tall. I even worked hard to graduate early. NOw my one saving grace was that I did go to church now and again but by my senior year my church peers got wind of the rumr and I was shunned at church, so thats when I turned my back on god......................................................................................................NOW 8 years later I still have problems "socially" I have never had a girlfriend, and I have "only" kissed 3 girls in my life, At age 22 My mom and I were in the kitchen and she said ARE YOU GAY. And I was in shock, it was out of the blue, and I said NO IM NOT GAY. I think she has quietly thought I was since I was younger. See my Aunt is a lesbian - out since she was a teen, and my cousin on my moms side is GAY, he brought his male companion at the last family gathering, and my 33 yr old cousin on my dads side is suspected of being gay because He has never had a gfriend and he works in a marriott in Atlanta....Recently my problem stems from my Family tricking me by putting my face up on a tv commercial for there store... and for the past 4 years I inevidlbly see people from my past and they give me the finger or verbally accoust me.. this is in my car, or just walking on the sidewalk...I have No problems with homosexuals.. I just think society wants me to be one..I would call myself at this stage of life, asexual. Im 26 now, and want companionship, It's not like Ive tried, whenever I start to talk to a girl I start fumbling words and lose confidence right away, and they sense this and walk away. Ive been hit on by guys before, at a gasstaions and work, but say not interested. I dont go to bars, or danceclubs, and the healthclub that I rarely go to, everyone thinks Im gay there too, because I never talk to anyone. I have been in several psyc clinics for threatning suicide and have tried everything from paxil, to prozac, to xanex...but currently on 400mg of lamictal and 600mg of seroquell at night, Ive had somewhat of a mid/midlife crisis as of late and havent been working and avoiding society in general. My psyciatrist thinks Im imagining all of this and that people arnt saying Im gay, and verbally assaulting me... I feel terrible all of the time and I have many issues and this has been at the forfront... Has anyone else struggled with something similar to this, or another sterotype, that you are not?
  16. I look out.. to the bueatiful world. The sun shineing.. the wind blowing. Paradise, I was in. There is an open door. Giving me free passage to the great open. Paradise, I had. One day, the door had closed. A flyscreen, had taken place. Paradise, I could no longer reach. I stand there, face stuck to the screen. Clawing away, feeling the breeze, seeing the outside. Paradise, I wanted. Each day, the screen slowly got thicker, sturdier. I tried so hard to my way out. Paradise, slowly was slipping away. Then it rained in my room. Tears of pain and hurt, of what I had lost. Paradise, did not want me. Then one day, the screen was replaced with sharp steel mesh. Blood splat on the ground, from my hands and face. Paradise, had left me. More and more blood covered the now red-stained floor. Blood from my futile attempts of freedom. Paradise, was now just a nightmare. Until one day, I decided 'whats the use'. Thats when I slit my wrists over and over on my prisioner. Paradise, had killed me. © Dregnought 2006 So yea, the 'basic' structual life of someone who was once happy to depressed to suicide... Hope it never happens to anyone you know.
  17. Iv entitled this topic 'Why?' becuase im completely confused at the moment my GF dumped me yesterday becuase i said a few simple words. we were talking about marriage and i started singing 'here comes the bride large fat and wide' ...and she thought i meant herself which i didnt becuase i would never think that. I keep thinking she takes stuff like too seriosly but when i tried talking to her about it, she pushes me away and cant be bothered I honestly dont know what to do ... its causing my depression to come back aswell which isnt good. i keep getting suicidal feelings.
  18. The incident I'm describing isn't in it self the reason I'm contemplaiting suicide, but it knocked me back into the reality - that life is a battle I can't survive. Today, as I was playing football one guy took me as his target. Everytime I would do a goal or touch the ball he would attack me from behind throwing me to the ground, tackle me or wrestle with me. The guy was younger, but bigger, muscular and had been pretty much a street fighter and a bad boy for his whole life. I fought back and could shake him off of me and avoid greater damage most of the time, and people would verbally complain to him about distrupting the game and being an idiot, but no-one did anything to actually help me. At the last minutes of the game he once again attacked me, but I got a stranglehold of him, and we rolled over to the ground this time in a more even fight and I said to him I'd let go if he'd let go and as he complied I thought I had made it. How very wrong was I again. After they lost the game and I was already walking away, he ran up from behind and choked me. People yelled at him and told him to let go but he didn't, I said he wasn't being very courageous for starting the fight in such an uneven way. This provocated him more and to show his superiority he told I should take a stranglehold of him and see if I could do any better. I declined and he grabbed me again, so it became obvious I had to fight myself out of the situation and grabbed him with a fairbairn and sykes defendo choke I had learned from a self-defence manual, thinking I could win him. My psychological death and absolute shame resulted as he shook me off, headbutted my chest and tossed me to the ground. It was only then, having totally beaten me that he would stop and leave me alone. In my life, I have had to deal alot with violent people trying to dominate me. I am short and skinny, making me an easy target. I used to think that it didn't matter, as long as I wouldn't play basketball, that I would not have to be large and muscular to have a good life, but boy was I wrong. I now totally understand women's desire for a tall dominant man, for life really is about survival of the fittest. Humans are nothing more than hairless apes, with the same impulses as other animals and one can't simply trust that the modern civilized society would stop the constant fighting and strive for supremacy among males. I foolishly thought that as long as I was assertive and stood up for myself I'd be as worthy as anyone else, and that my ex-girlfriend was being irrational with her feelings of not being feminine with a smaller guy. Afterall, nowadays we have guns and other tools of self-defence, and specific systems such as krav-maga that would beat brute force and provide security for everyone. The reality however, is that one can't defend against unarmed attackers with weapons or effective fighting moves such as strikes to the groin and is considered a criminal in the society, but attacking someone innocent is considered masculine and honorable if fatal damage is not inflicted and no weapons are used. I have now lost all my remaining self-respect, self-esteem and will to live. I foolishly thought that I could defend myself against apes like him, but I can't. I am unable, unfit and have failed as a life form. I can no-longer see my therapist as he moved away to work in a different city and am ready to give it all up. My illusionary sense of control over my body has been lost and I have been defiled and humiliated. No use fighting anymore and I'm ready to end my existence as soon as I get my gun licence. I don't even know why I wrote this, it's probably that I have some kind irrational hope in my subconscious and think that some answer will turn me into a self confident fighting machine, somehow make the fact that I lost disappear and change the genetic triggering for women to swoon over powerful, tall, dominant fighting men.
  19. Aight, there's alot going on in my mind right now, which is why I am going to just get down to the basis of my girlfriend and I's situation as of right now. My girlfriend and I have been going out for three months. I am 19 and she is 18. She is my first love, first kiss, first everything but sex, because she is religious and believes in sex after marriage. She is an aspiring actor and goes to auditions and rehearsals and whatnot. She has been on the MTV show "Next" before we started going out. She met a guy in one of her auditions and has been friends with him ever since. She met him before we started going out. This guy friend would drive to her house, pick her up and go to the gym, and they would workout together, well not necesarily "together" but apart if you know what I mean. When I tell my girlfriend that I get uncomfortable when she does such things, she says that I am insecure, and she says I don't trust her. I tell her it's wrong to do such things because what if one of my friends saw her with him one day at the gym, and I wasn't there, what will they think? They will probably think I allow her to see other guys. Well, today we got into an argument and we just kept going around in circles. Tomorrow, she will be doing a rehearsal in a feature film with the same guy. So is one at fault here? Or am I just being irrational. I'm not trying to point fingers and whatnot. I just would like to know what to say to her next time i talk to her. Someimes I feel she admires her friendship with her guy "friend" than our relationship. Other past situations: The same guy that goes to the gym with her confessed his "love" to her right in front of my face two weeks into my girlfriend and I's relationship. He "threatened to kill himself" telling my girlfriend she was "the only thing he had." She wanted to jump in the car with him and drive off somewhere to make sure he didn't kill himself, because she "felt sorry for him." If she did jump in the car, she would of left me hanging, but it was a good thing she did not. She stayed with me. Her mom: She does everything with her mom. Her mom drives her everywhere, talks to her about everything, and almost decides everything for her. When my girlfriend and I got in an argument on the phone, her mom snatched the phone from her and told her my girlfriend had to go to sleep, and that I was causing her too much stress. They are both feminists. They believe men are the downfall of society, I'm never right in any situation. They both agree it's fine that she is going to the gym with her guy friend because they are just friends. I told them how I feel, but they said I need to change... So am I being the insecure bad guy here? Or are they being irrational? I just don't know anymore...
  20. Ok, Well, where to start…. Ok, well first off, I'm now 17 years of age. I am not looking for attention and generally try conceal my emotions. none of this is due to girl problems or anything. I suck at writing, so if I don't get my point accross…. Blah… I have been depressed for close to 3 years now. Around 4 months ago, I decided again that I had had enough and began my quest doing research on various methods. Having already failed a hanging attempt I was not about to screw-up this time (My parents still don't know about the attempted hanging, told them I fell while skating (Fractured 3 ribs)) I decided Potassium cyanide would be the best bet, as we all know how toxic it is and there are several well-known success's with KCN. I eventually found an easy, reliable method of obtaining it legally; I am STILL sitting with close to 1kg of the stuff – took me close to a months to get it. Well, long story short. Notes written, room organized, all ready to go, I was interrupted by an unsuspecting person and a freak accident… that was about 4 weeks ago. I had a single good week, my mood was great, I was happy then I started going in a steady decline again. Everyday for the past 4 months, regardless of my mood, I can be perfectly happy and still have this relentless desire to die; it's like a craving that I just can't get rid of. at the moment, I don't want to die, but I've still got this feeling… its like…. When you're watching a crappy show on TV and you just want to turn it off but someone else is watching it and enjoying it but you can't leave the room? Odd analogy, yes I know. I went to a shrink last year but left because I wasn't sure I wanted to year but he had to say… that was before I admitted I have a problem. My grandmother has bipolar disorder. The shrink said that I had a very high probability of having both BPD and some or other personality disorder. I don't know why im writing this, or what I want… blah
  21. Well im a really shy kid, i dont talk much to many people and up till recently i was in average shape now getting to be looking better tho. about 3 years ago i started talking to this guy on line and we were best friends, he commited suicide but i also have an alternate account on which i have people that i know but dont know its me sort of like an alias, now someone ive confided in about my loss and ive fallen in love with her, i know she feels a spark but she dosnt want to say anything becasue we havnt met i want to tell her who i am but i think sheel think me a creep or just wont want to talk to me me what should i do? i was thinking since im clever and always have something to say maybe i could be myself and she could fall for me that way if thats the case can someone tell me how to make introductions to people you already know? becasue if i can get in with the group she hangs out with i believe i can get her to see the real me any help would be greatly appreciated.
  22. I am 32 and have been severly depressed for most of my adult life. I have had one boyfriend and one girlfriend my entire life. I am fat, ugly and just plain stupid. I have social anxiety which means that I have no friends because I can't get myself to leave my room except to go to work or to the bathroom. I have tried so hard to be positive, but everything seems to be against me. I am in therapy now, but my I cannot tell my therapist that I have thoughts about suicide that take over my mind. It is as though I have an obsession with it. I consistenly think of new ways I could do it. The only thing that keeps me alive today is my mother. She has cancer and I could not imagine making her life worse with my death. Should she die, I will too! I hate my life so much. I have tried to change it. The only thing I enjoy is going to therapy as I can be myself. I can tell her my deepest secrets and not feel judged. The only thing I can't tell her is about my suicidal thoughts. They seem to be bigger and badder than before and I really don't want it to come to that. I don't know why I am posting this, but I just needed to vent a little I guess!
  23. I am flying on wings, Made in heven, By those who miss me, In the brilient white, Surrounded By your everlast love, Doing all I wished to do, Flying to abroad, Seeing those, Who long ago passed, Sitting on the sofa, Beside you, Watching, Everything we used to, I'm talking with you, Even when, I thought you hated me. I sometimes wish I hadn't passed, To be beside you this very day, To hold on to you, Protect you our family and eachother. Do not remember me in vein, I am an angel now, Looking over you, Forever and always. i know it doesnt rhyme, but i just wanted to post it.
  24. she sits alone wondering how she could feel this way so alone so cold as depression overcomes her she falls deep into herself ignoring her cuts as she cuts deeper than she has before bleeding dying crying shes tring to find her way out but she cant but she cant as she lays there bleeding she starts to die she lets out one last scream for her love with her lover by her side she says her last goodbyes her love sits with her head down in her lap wondering how she could leave her here in this dark place she cries and she cries as she writes her last letter dear mom and dad im sorry for the pain ive caused im sorry i had to go it was my time to go but remember but rememeberi died in the name of my love love always your baby girl as her mom stood over her and the police read wat it had said they had came to a conclusion it was a double love suicid with the girls in each others arms they carried them to the car the parents fell to their knees crying hurting wondering why this could ever happen to them while they were down on there knees they began to pray dear lord thankyou for the daughter you gave me thea husband i have thank you for all the memeories we shared the time we had thank you thank you as the police were doing through their stiff they found a letter she had wrote dear my baby girl i hope you will be ok with out your mommy i hope you can be strong without your mommy and when you get old enough i hope you understand i wasnt tryin gto leave you hear alone and i died in the name of my love your mommy my girlfriend and my best friend i love you love always your mommy the parents fell to the ground when the little girl came in as the police officer read that she had saw her mommies in the car and asked wat happened it was a double love suicide and heres the letter she rote you hope you can understand as the police officer read it to her again she beganb to cry as she said her last goodbye she remembered the last thing her mommy said i will always love you she began to cry harder as they drove the car away it was a double love suicide lalalalalalalala
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