Jump to content

Aschleigh

Gold Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    868

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Aschleigh

  1. Aschleigh
    I suggest getting him all worked up first. Kiss him, massage his body, make out for a long time, then the hand job will take less time. But in general , yes you need to go all the way until he ejaculates. Would you want him to stop in the middle of giving you oral sex before you have an orgasm?
  2. Aschleigh
    Then kick him out for the time being. You need space to figure any of this out. She sounds abusive, if only verbally. Tell him to stay somewhere else until you know if you are getting a divorce for sure. Tell him if things dramatically change in the month he is gone then you can work on your marriage if not get a divorce.
  3. Aschleigh
    First, take care of yourself. Are you financially independent? Do you have a job? Can you live with friends or family for a while? You can move on, you can get child support and alimony most likely. Stop thinking about your marriage and start thinking about the health of yourself and your children. Move out as soon as possible. Get the papers filed to get financial support from him.
  4. Aschleigh
    I don't see how anything can get settled with your relationship if he is only around every other weekend. If he were committed to the relationship he would find a job that aloowed him to be at home with his wife and kids daily.
  5. Aschleigh
    you sound like you are depressed. Please see a counselor and talk to them about it. Talk therapy helps, sometimes an anti-depressent helps. Excercise, even when you don't want to helps. Take it easy on yourself. Healing takes time. it gets better but slwoly. Talk to people you trust and who will listen. Write down your feelings in a journal. Your first job right now is taking care of yourself; eating well, excercise, talking to people. Good luck.
  6. Aschleigh
    It seems like you want different things at the moment. She wants the attention of many men and you want a real, monogamous relationship. She may grow out of it naturally or something might happen that isn't so pleasent . It will take time. I don't think you should spend too much time investing in a relationship with anyone who needs to make out with random people and take thier clothes off at parties. Find a girl who is a bit more compatable with where you are now. You see m to want a somewhat mature, calm girlfriend. Sounds like you don't have that yet.
  7. Aschleigh
    My point is that he can only change himself. He should do some soul searching and see what he needs and what his wife needs. This could prevent the divorce hopefully. The anger, the disagreements within the marriage are just symtoms of the real problem. Please take the time , ask the questions, committ yourself to investigating what works and what doesn't work in this relationship.
  8. Aschleigh
    Are you really committed to the marriage counseling? Have you sat down with your wife and talked about everything that needs to happen to make this marriage work? Have you done any individual counseling ? Is it possible to have a small seperation and keep in touch, keep the kids your first priority and then work on your own issues for a while? Has your wife told you what she needs to be happy in your marriage? I see that you have done a lot of things for your wife. Have you been there for her emotionally? Do you listen to her? Are you connectiong with her on an emotional, spiritual level? I would suggest you get very curious about your wife, her needs, your marriage and what is right about it and what is wrong about it. Ask a lot of questions. Ask the questions that make you feel uncomfortable to ask. Good luck.
  9. Aschleigh
    I like it. It doesn't extremely turn me on but it's nice. I love being kissed and sucked all over, from the top of my head to my toes. Try it and see what happens.
  10. Aschleigh
    Can you get a long payment plan? Or just wait until you have the money? What is the rush? Can you discuss with her what the options are? Wait for the ring until you have the money or get a ring now that isn't what she wants.
  11. Aschleigh
    Is there any way you can accept your fathers money and not see him or talk to him more than is nesseacary. That way you get the benifit of him paying for school without too much interferecne with your life. You could say you are so busy studying that you can't come home too often. Or look into loans , especially if you are doing really good acedemically you could get scholarships. I would put some distnace between you and your Dad for now. Have some time for you and your boyfriend to have a healthy relationship together. Chances are your Dad won't change very much. It's up to you to figure out what kind of life you want to have and what relationship with your dad is healthiest for you. Have you been seeing a therpist about the past abuse? I know that people in abusive families tend to accept abuse from boyfriends more readily. HAve you explored that connection with a proffessional ever?
  12. Aschleigh
    Chage for me is a life long goal. It comes from seeing so much dysfunction ( alcoholism, abuse, neglect, shame, bad anger, destroyed relationships) in my family that enough was enough. I moved away geographically, I put emotional distance between myself and my mom, I didn't date for a long time, I went back to therapy. I started excercising again. It's a day by day decision. Somedays I am wiped out by all the change and need to rest. But I know even on those days I have got the ball rolling and it won't roll backwards. I keep looking ahead. I keep focused on finding what is satisfying to me. I started a new relationship and have kept up my standards of complete honesty and openess . ( which have not honored in the past) It's hard to be honest with my partner about who I am , when I have so many misgivings about who I am to begin with. But I need to be loved for who I am really am, not the illusion I would create of me by lieing. It's a slow , gradual, day by day change. And I am doing all of this before I have kids, before I am married and in a rut. I want to set myself up for happiness. I want to create a life situation that is as little stress as possible. I want to lay a foundation for family, stability, good choices, responsibility, health in essense.
  13. Aschleigh
    Have you tried to talk to her about this lack of intimacy? Do you ever rub her back or give her a massage with oil in a sexy way but without it leading to sex? Can you talk to her about anything? This is where intimacy starts: talking. Try telling her what's going on with you. Ask her what she wants and what she needs from this or any relationship. It could be you are just naturally drifting apart and it's time to meet new people. You will miss her if you break up but it may be worth it to see what is out there intimacy wise with other people.
  14. Aschleigh
    He isn't asking for your opinions on wheather he should have sex or not. He already made that decision, she did too. As long as neither is being forced into anything , why don't you keep your opinions to yourself. Moralizing isn't going to help anyone. Just take it slow. If she can take some tylenol or if she smokes pot before hand that might help. Otherwise making sure there is lots of lubrication. Saliva is the best, but massage oil or KY jelly is good too. Remember to talk everything over. Open communication is the best lubricant ever. Women need a lot of forplay. Are you kissing and rubbing each other for a long time? Little things like playing with her hair, rubbing her back, kissing her all over will get her body in a relaxed mood. Just take your time. It will happen. Good luck.
  15. Aschleigh
    Are you sure they are your soul mate then? Are you sure their is only one soul mate for you? I think there may be many soul mates for each person. The one you want is the one NOT affraid to love. Keep looking.
  16. Aschleigh
    I think you should explore your options with other men. He doesn't seem to be taking this relationship seriously. He can't skip his TV day to hang out with you? He can't see you after basketball or after school? How old are you two? What do you really want from a relationship , with him or anyone else?
  17. Aschleigh
    Why can't you have it all with the current boyfriend?
  18. Aschleigh
    It takes a bit of time for a couple to get bakc their rythum after being apart for so long. That being said I think I would want to have sex in the airport bathroom if I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a year. Are you sure he isn't having sex with someone else while he is away from you and now feels weird about cheating on them? Do you two converse on the phone in a sexy way? How do you keep the passion alive for a year apart? I don't think I could do it.
  19. Aschleigh
    my mom had fibromyalgia. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants and sometimes anti-anxiety pills for it. Of course getting good sleep and eating well are essential for anyone's health. Excercise is important, something relaxing like yoga might help. Talk therapy and taking it easy on yourself are good things too. good luck.
  20. Aschleigh
    3 months is pretty quick to know you want to get married, regardless of the other stuff you are planning. I would wait until the honeymoon period is over to start planning a wedding, especially since there are kids involved. Why not buy the cottage, get everyone living together for a while and see how that is?
  21. Aschleigh
    My boyfriend of 7 months is very on-off into me. We will go for a while and everything is great and then he seems distant for a while. He says he loves me very much, that he can't committ until he has much more life experience. ( he's 23, I am 29) He says he thinks I'm amazing and that he misses me when he's away from me. He wants to see how things go for us. But that something is missing from his life. He wants more. We discuss all of this openly , which is good. 7 months isn't so long, I am ok with not being committed yet. ( I am glad it's on his mind though) We have a lot of love between us. Do you think this kind of indcsion is normal? How do I tell him it's fine to not know these things yet? How do I deal with the emotional unavailability he has fairly often? Is this up and down fairly typical for a long term relationship? I love him so much , so I want to be patient and loving to him. How would you handle this?
  22. Aschleigh
    Just take it slow. No need to force yourself to date until your ready. I remember thinking I wouldn't be able to have sex again after my last boyfriend becuase nobody else would be as good. Experiment, some will be good, others no so good. There is no ideal, just imperfect people trying to finding love. Just like you.
  23. Aschleigh
    The thing to find out is if you need to have a talk with your boyfriend. Not your mom's opinion, yours. Is there something that needs to be discussed now or is it better to wait and see. How strained are things? Can you talk to him in a non-confrontational way? Do you love him more than you are bothered by his behavior?
  24. Aschleigh
    hope123: How old are you? Why does he have to do all the driving? Do you have a car? Can you live on your own? That way you would be much more independent and you wouldn't have to rely on him for rides. And each of you could have a place you could be at.
  25. Aschleigh
    I would recomend the depo-provera shot. One shot every three months and you can't get pregnent. It hasn't dappened my libido. But it can make me moody for the first week after getting it. Plus you don't have to take a pill every day.
×
×
  • Create New...