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  1. We are almost three years into our relationship. She was my first sexual partner whilst she had had multiple (but none long-term). The first 1.5 years or so were great sex-wise. After that her appetite gradually deteriorated to now being at a point where she has absolutely no appetite for sex in any form. When we have had sex, it’s very clear she’s not into it. And when we don’t, I get frustrated (and she can tell). I’d say my sex drive is pretty average, whatever that means (I masturbate maybe 3 times a week, and would be happy with sex once a week). Every other aspect of our relationship i
  2. I have recently been trying to come to terms with, and accept, that masturbation is normal in a relationship. Whenever I would hear my partner masturbating in the shower I would get upset. I realised (after internet research) that it was normal and even good for the relationship in some ways. So even though it still makes me feel uncomfortable when I hear it, I'm slowly starting to get used to it. I masturbate too, but I have a much higher libido than my partner. However, something that kicked me off the understanding band wagon happened this morning. My partner and I had just finished hav
  3. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. We love each other a lot and want to be together but one thing we argue about almost once a month is our sex life. I have a low sex drive, I always have. It’s low enough that I thought I was asexual for a long time and had no interest in sex until I started dating at 20. My boyfriend on the other hand has a high sex drive and is almost always ready to go. Because of this he feels like I’m not attracted to him because we don’t have sex often and because I don’t get horny very often. I’ve told him many times it’s not him it’s me. Somet
  4. Hello All, Without getting to personal, I wanted to keep this somewhat general and ask about Sex and Marriage and the "whys" and "confusion" I have being a man with this sensitive topic - Somewhat geared towards the married woman on the boards, but open to anyone who wants to add some advice! 1. Why is it that when you date you seem to have a different perspectives on how Sex should be between the two of you, (IE - frequency, level of interest, spontaneous, experimentation of different things, and energy level etc) ? 2. Why is it when your married those things mentioned above
  5. Greetings. So, I've been through something I cant't really fix, or just can't find any solution, so I've thought I might should try write my problem down, and read other people opinions, so long story short - I'm at relationship with amazing person, she is kind, smart, gorgeous, and so much more, I trust her my life, I love her for sure. So we know each other since we were like 16 years old, now we early 20's, we been together as a couple year and a half, everything is just AMAZING, but one small (Maybe not that small) - sex. Since we became couple we haven't rushed physical things, we kept it
  6. Hey all! I have been dating a really nice guy for about 8 weeks now. We waited to have sex and became intimate on Valentine's Day. I have a question regarding libido. I am relatively inexperienced when it comes to dating- I've only ever had one long term relationship. That particular relationship became toxic...however, the sexual passion and excitement was so intense and the sex was amazing. Sex is very important to me and I would be the happiest having it at least once a day... or at least everytime I see the person I'm dating. It makes me feel connected to the other person and it is a
  7. In the past couple of months my boyfriend of 2 years has stopped being interested in anything sex related. Whenever he thinks, sees or does anything sex related he feels physically sick and recently he has stopped even thinking about it. On top of that he now says that sex is boring and is something only for teenagers. I don’t have much of an idea about what is causing this and neither does he. We have still been having sex occasionally, But only when we haven’t seen eachother in a few days, our reunions always result in sex for a few days with him interested but then he loses interest after
  8. Hello, I had a post about this while I was pregnant. I thought our sexual life would get better after delivery, but boy i was wrong.. It has been 10 weeks since I gave birth and he only initiated sex once after a fight over lack of sexual intimacy at our relationship. This same person is around me all the time. He even almost follows me to the bathroom when I am not around. His hands are always on me, he wants to kiss and cuddle all the time. However, no kiss or touch ever leads to anything more. When I finally asked him he said my attitude turns him off. Well, he had been turned off fo
  9. I`ve been with her for many years and we live together. In the beginning of our story, we used to have sex almost every time we met. I was in a bliss. Everything however started turning worse month by month, year by year.. She started wanting less and less sex, while my sex drive stayed the same. I wanted her every day, just like in the beginning, and could not understand what happened within her. Slowly this started to escalate into a number of issues for us, while everything else was still great, actually even better as our love had grown to something worth staying despite of everything.
  10. Greetings Enotaloners, It's been a little while since I sought advice here. In my usual style, this will likely be long and rambling. Also, a warning, this post is at times frank and explicit. My girlfriend and I moved in together two weeks ago after just shy of a year of dating. While it hasn't been the smoothest transition, with some pre-existing issues around communication being amplified in the process of moving and intergrating our lives, I believe we have settled down a bit and we are slowly getting into the groove. However, I am experiencing a sudden loss of sex drive following a
  11. Hi, I`m going through a really hard phase in my relationship of about 3 years. Or actually, I have been in two 3-4 year long relationships before this one, making this my 3rd long term relationship where I have moved in together with someone and shared my whole life with. This hard phase though is something i`m drastically familiar with, and I can`t even really call it a phase anymore. It`s something else, it`s like an universal rule in my life it seems. It seems to be that for many others too, from what I read and hear from time to time. So what is this, and does it really have to be this
  12. As my title says,,,sexless marriages Do they work? Is anybody in one, if so how does this work for you? Is there absolutely zero sexual activity in your marriage?
  13. Hi everyone, I feel like I’m in a tough spot. I think I’m in love. Something I don’t experience often. I’m a guy nearing my 30s who is still uncertain about his sexuality. I think I could be classified as an asexual because I don’t have a desire for sex. Not with women. Not with men. Still, I’d like to think someday I will find a partner. I dream of having a partner, doing things together, living together, caring for one another and loving each other. Just without sex, but with lots of cuddling, snuggling and perhaps even kissing. The thing is, pretty much no one knows about my asexuali
  14. I have been in a relationship for nearly two years things are not perfect we are trying to make things work But I know it may sound bad on my part but my boyfriend is not interested in sex at all he says the problem is him.I have tried to get him to get help but he won't he admits to watching porn. He has told me he's been like this with all his partners but we're only in our early40s so it's not like we are too old.I don't want to spend my life with him in an unsexual relationship but I do love him and want to be with him .I really don't know what to do.
  15. Heres the back story.... We dated 4 months and moved in together. We have lived together 2 months now.....so that's a total of 6 months. I am 33 and she is 27. Moving in so quickly was a huge step for both of us and it isn't something either of us take lightly. So to be up front....things aren't going as I imagined. I thought that we would be all over each other. That is the way I always imagined it..when I finally found a woman to share my life with. Amazing foreplay and awesome sex. Coming home to her wearing something sexy every once in a while etc... This is not happening Her idea o
  16. I am struggling to know what to do...I have been in a relationship for 11 months (I'm female), sex has usually been great, but now my OH has told me that he has lost his libido and just doesn't want sex. He says the cause of this is stress (to be fair he is finishing a PhD). I am really struggling with this though...that he no longer gets pleasure in that way from me and no longer wants to be intimate. I get the feeling that if this becomes a long term issue things are just going to fizzle out. I've already tried a few tricks like casually walking around naked, inviting him for a shower. A
  17. So basically, I love my boyfriend. I live with him things have been great in terms of our communication and (we sometimes fight) but nothing disrespectful. However, Im having various issues: 1. I do not have a sexual drive with him nor a sexual desire to be with him because, even though everything started great, he cannot make me come. So there is no thrill in having sex 2. I am concerned that, when I do feel turned on is usually while watching lesbian porn and I think about that when I am with him. I dont feel its fair for him, and even though I dont come anyways, at least I see a vi
  18. I'm about 4 years into my relationship and now I can't necessarily say I live in a sexless relationship, but I truly feel that if it wasn't for me scratching and clawing to get my partners affection, there will be none whatsoever. We have been together now for 3-4 years and she is honestly the love of my life and like many of you throughout our first few years of togetherness, we were on fire. I have always had a slightly higher sex drive than her, but now it's to the point that I wonder if she ever wants to have sex with me at all. We have sex and when we do I can feel the passion sometimes,
  19. Hi everyone - first post and I'd really appreciate some third-party advice. My boyfriend and I are both 29 and have been together for over 6 years. Overall, we have a great stable relationship with the same life goals, values, etc. The only problem is that we are not on the same page on a romantic/sexual level. In short, he does not have the same libido that I have. He is perfectly fine going a week without sex and I could have sex 5 days a week. In addition, in our entire relationship we've never had anal sex (nor does he want to) and I find that (as a gay man) important to me. Beyo
  20. Hi all My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years. I have my own flat, she lives with parents and wants to move into a place together. I've told her I'm not ready and like living on my own (I've also lived with a girlfriend before and that led to a very steady decline in the relationship) and this has been the catalyst for where we are now - a "break" to gather our thoughts and decide on the next step. A few key points I lost my job 3 months ago, and have obviously been very focused on finding a new one - in her words, "Things aren't fun anymore... I'm sick of hearing abou
  21. Hey! (Background info) Long story short, before me and my girlfriend split up, we didn't have sex for the last 2 months and at the time I didn't know why. (end of background info). Now that I am single again, I have come to the realisation that we did not have sex anymore because of me. Basically, the last time I was single I was always looking at/for attractive women. I had this huge sense of wanting to be with someone so that's what I thought I would feel again. However, I'm not. The past few months have been very confusing or me. I have lost so much interest to the extent that I do
  22. As stated on a previous post, I spent basically 14 years with my partner. It was a rerelationship with ups and downs like any other, and one thing I've learned is that a relationship takes 50% of love, 50% of compromise, communication, dedication, etc. One thing was a bit upsetting: the lack of sex drive from his part on the last few years. After long conversations with many of my male friends, they all confessed having lost all sex drive for their gfs although they loved their gfs with all their heart and didn't even considered breaking up or cheating on them because of that. I was shoc
  23. I am completely and utterly in love with an asexual man. He isn't aromantic, and I don't really care about sex. Personally I don't see the big deal and in my experience it's only made thing more complicated. If it meant being with him, I would gladly give up the physical side of a relationship. He's so sweet and I would never pressure him into anything he doesn't want to do. We were talking the other day and I was kind of down about the situation, and he's figured out that I like him, so he asked if what was making me sad could be changed. I said no, and he smiled, then replied with, nothing i
  24. My Girlfriend and I are doing great. We are really at a solid point in our relationship, its not about sex holding us together... we are more solid than that. But I do enjoy the intimacy in sex and find her wildly attractive. We cuddle a lot, but there is a bonding that sharing that happens with sex. Ya know, everyone who has had sex knows what Im talking about. Its natural. Here is the thing. My girlfriend is almost like trying to tell me wanting sex is not normal. Ill explain: For the first 2 months of dating, we had sex regularly (I made the mistake of using the word "regular" to her wh
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