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  1. So I have an appointment set up tomorrow to do coolsculpting for this double chin I swear just grew in the past two years after my second kid. I'm not going to lie; with two kids, it's been a wash rinse repeat day to day, with very little time for myself. I usually just go with things after some thought, but I'm having second thoughts on coolsculpting. My husband said if I kick start my metabolism, I can get rid of the double chin in a few months with exercise. Is this true, or do I have this chin from age (turned 40 on Monday), and just fat build-up that won't go away with diet and exercise. Thoughts??? Yeah, I know, this is nothing to sweat over about; I just want to know my options. Thanks!
  2. My partner (we are a lesbian couple) is 5'7" and 170lbs, used to be an athletic US Marine. She is very self-conscious about her weight gain the past couple years. I tell her I do not care what the scale says, and I am being genuine. I love her just the way she is and just want her to be happy. She frequently talks about wanting to go on a diet and exercise plan, but implies in order for her to go through with it, I have to do it with her. Issue is, I am 5'3" and 108 lbs and don't have much weight to lose. My metabolism is just higher than hers. I have no issue picking up my exercise game because I have been meaning to do that for awhile anyway, but I feel like it is a little unfair to feel pressured into going on a diet with her that I don't necessarily need/might not be good for an already borderline underweight person. But I also want to be as supportive as possible. What should I do? Am I being selfish?
  3. I’m not exactly sure if this is the best place to ask for advice, but It’s one of the only places I know so I’ll just go for it. So to start off, I’m an 18 YO guy and I just started going to the gym about a month ago. At the moment, I’m pretty skinny and still figuring out the gym. While I was doing an exercise, a man who appeared to be about 40ish cane up to me and asked if he could show me a better one. I said of course and he even showed me a few more. He mentioned he could lift more back when he was serving in the army, with my dad being a vet, I decided to ask him a few more questions and he said that he is now working for the FBI. so he seems like a pretty trustworthy cool guy. After he finishes showing me some new workouts, he asked what I was doing at the gym the next day. I told him I planned on doing legs and he said he had some good leg exercises that we should go together. I figured why not so he asked for my number so he could tell me when he was heading out and I thought nothing of it. So today we went, had a very good leg workout and kind of planned a workout for tomorrow. At this point I kinda wanted to back out as he does a more vigorous style of workout than I like so I was already trying to get out of working out with him. Later on though, he texted me “my legs are jello. Gonna go lay out at my friends pool. Wanna come tan.” Should I be alarmed that a middle aged man is asking me to come tan at his friends pool when I met him yesterday? Or am I overthinking it. Do I block the number and leave the gym(I only have 2 weeks before I leave for school) or do I try to go at a different time to dodge him? Any advice is welcome thanks
  4. Hey everyone, Not sure if this is an exercise in futility, but I just wanted to comment that as a recent returnee after around a year, I have noticed a significant uptick in what appears to be biased and unwarranted attacks in some of the replies here, including from some longer serving members. This is across several threads as well directed at a variety of OPs and members. I just want to express my disappointment, as when I first discovered this forum I got a lot of positive and constructive feedback, which I really feel helped me. However, I am now reluctant to continue posting or replying as I feel I may open myself to being the recipient of someone else issues (when i definitely have enough of my own to deal with). As I said, this may be futile, but I just wanted to note this in the hope that all contributors will try to remain civil, and try to approach others with both empathy and objectivity (while of course lending the benefit of experience). Much love, T
  5. Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a transition stage in my life at the mo and to cut a long story short I've moved in with my mum for a few months while I get money together for a house deposit and find a decent place. We have always had a strained relationship but it has gotten better in recent years. When I was growing up she was very critical of me and made daily comments about how I looked, especially my weight. I have carried a bit extra for most if my life except for a couple of stages where I lost an extreme amount of weight in extreme ways. I have recently put some weight back on and now fall into the 'overweight category which has made me feel quite bad about myself but she is treating me as if I'm morbidly obese and is making me feel so disgusted with myself and ashamed of what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel myself losing confidence, which I worked so hard to build, and slipping back into old habits like buying diet pills, skipping meals, obsessing over exercise and taking heavy detox drinks etc. I feel so terrible about myself I genuinely feel like a teenager again. Every day these past few weeks she has made negative, nasty digs about how I've "let myself go" and "need to get back on track". I know it sounds silly but I just feel so low right now and every comment from her eats away at my self-esteem a little more. I know parents should challenge you to be your best self but she ignores everything except my appearance and I only ever hear negative words come from her mouth. This can't be right??
  6. So this is embarrassing my iron infusions did take. I misunderstood her when she said levels were still high she was referring to other labs. I saw her this past Monday. I actually gained 3 liters of iron in my blood I had been missing. She’s rechecking the iron to make sure it sticks six months from now. I still feel sick and my joints and fatigue is still really bad! I see primary and endocrinologist and getting a referral too rheumatologist! The hematologist was thinking bone marrow biopsy if my iron depletes in six months. But luckily I don’t have to deal with that right now. I’m trying to walk on the treadmill with my achy joints at a slow pace. Will exercise help? I had my thyroid and parathyroid ruled out. I wish I had an answer to why I’ve gradually been feeling crummy for a year! Well at least my iron is okay. Sorry about that I was confused myself. Lisa
  7. I just wanna talk about this because it's horrible. I took some antibiotics had a pretty bad reaction to. I thought my ex gave me an STD because even though we were broken up we were still having sex but he said he only received a blow job. But I looked up only and I thought I had herpes(even though I had no bumps and I went on a health forum and they told me it could be it). So anxiety was through the roof and it made me have a really bad flare it a really bad one (I have lupus). For the last year all of my test have come back normal. So then why does my vagina burn almost every day? Why does it randomly start to hurt? Why can't I sit? Why does it hurt more when I sit in a car? In the end they slapped me with the label Vulvodynia and Dysuria. Why because they don't know what's going on I feel like the doctors don't even believe me anymore because my vagina not inflamed or there are no lesions one of the doctors that I went to told me to do KEGAL EXERCISES. Really Kegal exercises is going to cure my burning vagina?! I don't even know when I have a yeast infection anymore because it feels like I have one all the time So apparently the antibiotics I took injured some of my nerve endings( the lupus flare up didn't help either) because I was on them for too long. This never makes me want to take antibiotics again. I have always had depression and this just isn't helping it. I just sleep for more than 15 hr a day because I don't want to have to wake up and deal with it. I feel like the more medication I take it gets worse. It like my vagina is so sensitive that even my pee makes it hurt or just sweat or just water or just anything you know the white stuff that comes out.
  8. I’m starting my third week of no carbs and no sugar. I’ve been exercising 4 times a week and stayed active every day. The only carbs I eat are from vegetables. I’m a little disappointed that I haven’t lost any weight. I need to lose 10-15 pounds and I’ve seen no change even though I’ve drastically changed my diet and workout routine. Any advice?
  9. I just got ghosted from a 9-month relationship with a woman I deeply loved...it has been hard on me. I went to a therapist and was diagnosed as codependant - which I agree with. One of the exercises the therapist had me perform was to create a list of what I didn't like about the girl, and another list of why it was good to be rid of her - I was shocked about how bad she really was for me! Alchoholic, addicted to weed, her kids didnt like me, etc. So I now know she was the wrong person for me and brought nothing but drama, negativity, and pain into my life. But she keeps popping into my head, and I get a little endorphin rush when it happens. I then start to think immediately of how to contact her - but can't. It's irrational, obsessive, and anguishing. I am now alone and can not stop the thoughts from popping in - and I dream about her too which makes it worse! Can anyone give me some techniques to help this cycle to stop?
  10. I had an uncomfortable experience at a recent medical visit and Im not sure if it was appropriate or if Im being to sensitive about it. I am a 60 year old active male who stays in good shape who likes to exercise walk (cannot run anymore) bike and swim often. I went to a new dermatologist for a complete check up and have a mole on shoulder examined. I had not been seen for skin exam in over 8 years so i was due. my former dermatologist was a male but he left to go to a practice in another state. the new doctor is a woman in her early 60s who I thought would be good since we were close in age and she's been in her field a long time. She was professional but not very friendly and had little bedside manner (all business approach I guess). When she gave me the body scan and viewed my lower half she saw that I remove most (not all) of my hair there and asked me if there is an issue or reason that I keep myself this way. I was shocked felt totally awkward and uncomfortable. I told her I am active I swim often and feel better with that area as it is. She was blunt and simply said she doesn't recommend that I shave that area anymore because it could cause other hygiene issues. I said ok because I was to embarrassed to say anything else. Ive never heard this before and don't want to ask anyone in person because of the personal and embarrassing nature of it. but more so was she appropriate to ask me such a thing was it within her professional examination or was it an opinion she didn't have to tell me because it made me feel ridiculous. I want to change doctors but is it me over thinking it and being sensitive or was she inappropriate? Any input or advice is appreciate!
  11. Not necessarily looking for "advice" as much as ideas. I've read a good number of books since all this started with me and they all pretty much say the same thing: 1) no contact 2) get rid of reminders 3) stay busy 4) pray/meditate 5) exercise 6) get a makeover 7) find a new hobby 8) don't fight your emotions but don't stay stuck in them either 9) vent when you need to Is anyone doing anything other than these that they would like to share? Did it work for you? Are there things you wish you'd done that you think might've worked? Just interested in other ideas. Trying to keep my mind occupied!
  12. I have a question about my exercise schedule. I usually do cardio every day, followed by weights which I do monday, wednesday and friday upper body, and tuesday and thursday lower body. The thing is that I dunno if this is the most effective way to gain muscle and lower body fat. Is it better this way, or is it better to do cardio and weights on separate days (that is monday wednesday and friday I'd do cardio, and then tuesdays and thursdays I'd do weights)? Which is more effective and produces better and/or faster results as well as better long term effects?
  13. Feel free to post advice for others to read in regards to exercising, working out, and getting/staying fit. Here is a tip from me- When you are doing cardiovascular activity (running, fast walking, stationary bike, bike, etc), your body is primarily depleating calories for the first 20 mintues or so. After that, it starts to burn fat, too. So if you are trying to burn fat and are not noticing any results in the short-term when you are doing cardio, perhaps you are not doing it for long enough (and are perhaps not working yourself hard enough, too). 35-45 minutes straight of cardio is a fair amount. If you do that regularly, in addition to the benefit of not being malnourished, you will notice changes in how you feel and how you look.
  14. I've pretty much always been a person with goals, whether at school, or while planning my career, or doing projects at work. And when I was younger, I had the luxury of being single-minded, focusing on just one or two things at a time, dropping everything else. Like if I was doing a work project, I wouldn't spend that much time with friends, or I'd let exercising completely fall by the wayside. Now my problem is that I want to set reasonable goals -- while also maintaining the rest of my life. I don't want to set "killer" goals anymore. I'm no longer into the thrill of being able to pull off something huge. I'm more into my sanity now. (LOL!) But I'm fighting my "old" self. For example, I was recently promoted and I want to do well in my new job. So I've got a whole long list of things I should probably do to become good in the new position. Well, I can't just suddenly start doing all of them, because then I wouldn't have any time left over to take care of myself or my life. So somehow, some way, I have to break these things down. That may sound simple, but there's a part of me that's afraid that if I don't try to meet all of the goals right away, I'm somehow going to be screwed. So how do you set reasonable goals for yourself, while allowing some things to be put on the back burner for awhile? I mean, how would you decide what to do first? And how do you trust that you won't be somehow bitten in the rear by the things you're not doing immediately? Thanks!
  15. It has been one of those days/weeks/months. Lately it has all beening adding up. It first comes as a joke "I need a vacation, wheres a gun so I can go send myself on one", something so simple, so innocent. Its enough to raise a eyebrow or two but everyone just laughs it off the same as a really bad joke because thats what you do when something makes you uncomfortable, you laugh. But then the joke starts coming more and more frequently and for more and more mundane things. You got a problem, doesn't matter what it is, you say the same joke over and over. I hate it. It just comes out, I don't even notice it till after it has been said and then you respond with that knee jerk reaction, did I just say that out loud. The ways of beating this feeling are not working as well as they use too. Exercise, movies, music, etc..... are all getting more and more unable to dissipate this somber mood. A aura of hate starts to surround you and makes it uncomfortable for even your closest friends and family to even be around you or interact with you which leads to even more isolation. But very recently this new pattern in my behavior has caused me a great deal of concern as I can see it visiblely what is happening to me and yet I am powerless to stop it. I try to improve the way I think about things, but it feels so fake when I do it. Getting professional help or medication is not a viable option at my present time. I am hoping that just typing this out will in some way help but not too sure.
  16. Last year I was firm and fit and exercising (walking alot and some exercising at Curves). I have done some 5K's and my 1st 10K. I went from a size 14 to a size 4/6 and from 178lbs to 132lbs. (my lowest weight) This year I have totally lost interest in exercise and have lost my fit and firm look to my body. I think I suffered burnout and allowed other things to fill the time that I devoted to fitness. I want my firm body back! The one I was complimented so much on. I'm an middle aged woman, and I know it's gonna take a bit more hard work to get there. How can I get motivated again??? Has anyone ever experienced this? Help!
  17. Ok Whats a healthy way to lose weight? I know it is to eat heathly, exercise and etc But when i exercise like with my arm to lose the weight of them i seam to gain more muscles there which causes my brother to call them 'helga arms'. So has anyone got any good ideas?
  18. I'm totally procrastinating while packing up my stuff to move out the apt I share with my ex-boyfriend, but I was curious. Not sure if anyone here has read It's called a break up b/c it's broken by Greg and Amira Behrendt... but I just finished it and found it very helpful. I was totally skeptical at first because the guy was a consultant on Sex and the City (the most unrealistic show ever) and from what I can see on his talk show is a little weird. I haven't done all the activities he suggests, but just his funny tone and the light and interesting format of the book has made getting through my break up more bearable. I plan to read it again and do all of the suggested exercises but I was wondering if others have read other books pertaining to getting over a break up that were helpful. Thanks!
  19. Well, I'm not sure how to go about this. Literallly everyone has experienced what I'm about to write about so I hope at least someone can offer some helpful advice. I've come to the conclusion that if you can't stop thinking about someone (in a good way) then surely you must have feelings for them. If they are easy to talk to and are warm towards you then you build the confidence to share how you feel. There is someone who I think I have fallen for (I just cannot stop thinking about them) and although it felt artificial, I told them I fancied them by email. It was a very brief message (hi, it's me. It's past 1 o'clock. I think I fancy you, what do you think? Share this information and die). I don't like to be overtly sentimental so I tried to exercise the darker side of my sense of humour (I don't know why). I am now playing 'the waiting game' so to speak and waiting for some sort of response. I just wish there was an easy way to 'initiate' a relationship instead of going through the motions of exposing how you feel, waiting for a response, combating the feelings of awkwardness and low self esteem, thinking of what others will think... I just get so excited at the thought of being with them. I'm sure people can relate to that? You meet someone and you just feel so happy. I might be utterly alone in saying this but I have a tendency to create my own reality where I imagine what it would be like to be with someone and I just dwell on it so much that I think everything is possible. That is what gave me the confidence to share how I felt in such a low-key fashion. It's a bit hard to explain. How does everyone here ease (or rush) or flow into a relationship? How do you help the friendship morph into what you desire - something more. I am female and considering that maybe some guys would find it too brash for the girl to make the first move. The more I think about that though the more I find it to be bull * * * *. I feel something and want make it into a reality and not something that 'could have been'. That shouldn't be gender-orientated. Sorry, I have blabbed. Sometimes I feel so different from people and thereforeeee unable to initiate things like relationships without the rush of imaginative excitement, the fear, the self-doubt and thinking I'm an idiot who should have kept quiet. Whoa! Too many words. I'd really like some responses though, cheers.
  20. i really fancy this instructor in the gym, whenever i go in there, he always chats to me for about an hour on a one to one about all kinds of stuff, and he always asks me to go in when he is working. I never see him talking to anyone else, only about exercise and only for a couple of mins. he also gives me compliments and also walked me to my car the once, he wanted to see what it looked like. I really thought he fancied me, i really got 'that feeling', but when my friend said i liked him, he said he 'did not want to lead me on', i'm so confused, did he fancy me?
  21. ive put on a good amount of weight over this past year in college. i need to get rid of it. ive always been a small girl and i guess in my head i still picture myself as being that small girl. but these past few months i can see a drastic change in my phyical apperence. && its quite bothering me. Im 5'0ft. and weigh 135lbs. before i started school i was between 115-120. i have a small frame. so i really want to get this extra weight off once and for all and maintain it. i go to the gym regularly and ive been going for about 3months now, and nothing has changed. my eating habits are average, i dont consume junk food and sweets. i really dont know what im doing wrong!! any advice on food i can try to help me slim down! or any food i should advoid. i will do anything at this point
  22. I know this is gross- sorry I am 29 years old. I have very bad cellulite all over my butt and thighs. started when i was 25. im 5'5 and weigh 110 lbs. I eat healthy- exercise 6 times a week. very active. I spent about $10,000 on treatment, waste of money...nothing works. I feel like I can never go to the beach, wear shorts or be naked with the lights on again, my butt looks like an 80 year old used couch, I feel like any guy is going to vomit once he sees this and never talk to me again. I cant even wear jeans or tight pants, I have to wear pantyhose in 110 degree weather so the dimples and bumps dont show through. I have not worn shorts or gone to the beach in 5 years. I feel almost suicidal at time because of this. Anyone have any success in getting rid of it? I have major depression because of it.
  23. After 32 years of absolutely sedentary living I thought it might be a good idea to exercise. Mind you, I haven't been physically active in my entire life unless you count cutting gym in high school. I would like to begin some weight training. Unfortunately I have one single 16 lb dumbbell at the moment and that is it. I've heard that stretches are important before beginning any kind of exercise at all, but I have no idea what I should be doing, if I need more weights, and how a beginner should approach this. Advice is appreciated.
  24. At the moment I am 5"1 and almost 10 stone, I feel so down and I really need to lose weight. I try exercising but as I have a lot of course work to do at the moment I feel it hard to fit in, anyway does anyone have any success stories of losing just a bit of weight. I want to lose about a stone idealy. Thanks in advance.
  25. i'm 47 and still i have the same sex drive i did years ago, very much physically attracted to my wife and the chase goes on day after day. I feel I "need it" 2-3x/week, but often wish I had sex every day. Can this continue into my 60's?? I am physically fit, exercise regularly(but not to excess) and very happy with my life, maybe that helps.
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