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  1. There is so much pain And so many tears As I recall the horrible memories Of my teenage years I was only 15 You stole all that I had My innocence, my virginity Do you even feel bad? I thought it was my fault You called it an affair You knew you were hurting me Do you even care? All the memories They hurt so much The nights I had to endure Your perverted and unnatural touch I put on a smile To mask all the pain Through all of my suffering What did you gain? I feel all alone In this world of sin But I'll never tell So I guess you win
  2. Hi everyone, I need some advice from you guys about my relationship. I've been dating a girl for 10 months now. We are both 22. When we first started dating she told me that she needed a year before having sex because of her Christian upbringing, that she felt like she needed to be in a relationship for a year before losing her virginity (yes we are both virgins). I decided that that was alright with me because already I had felt a strong connection with her. It's been 10 months now and I still feel a deep connection between us. I love her very much and I know that she loves me very much as well. I have been happy with our relationship, emotionally at least, as we get along really great and I love spending time with her. We do have intimacy, but basically the furthest she lets me go is kiss her breasts, and anything with the genitals is off limits. I feel as though I'm ready to move things further, like we are constantly holding back. But last night she told me that she only wants to have sex with one person in her life, the person that she marries, and that she needs another year before she can commit to something like that. This has totally turned my world upside down. How can I marry someone unless I know for sure that I can be satisfied emotionally and physically? I explained that to her and she told me that that is "reasonable," but she still does not feel ready to start being sexually intimate anytime soon. I feel really torn right now. We get along so well... we rarely fight, and we both love spending our days together. She has been a really great girlfriend to me and always very supportive. But I feel as though 2 years without sex is not a healthy relationship at all and I'm worried that I'm wasting my youth away when I could be experiencing so much more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and take care, Robert
  3. Happiness, clean air, and there you are. Talking to me. No respect. My first glimpse of sunshine in a long time, and there you are, pressing on me. Be ashamed And I question my own humanity. Am I human? Or am I am object of hate. An object of lust. An object of anger. An object to do with as you wish. A possession, and an enemy. I hear nothing. There is nothing. I am nothing. But a vacuum. A hole. Dear Monster, Please Let me Be. I Want To Be Me. Wind on an open wet wound. I close my eyes. I don't belong here. I don't belong here. Do I dare to pour the tears as she pours me coffee? I wish myself away. Far far away. Nevertheless, it crowds in. The world, their voices, their anger, their pain. Is there no relief? No Pause? How many years have we been married now? Ten years? Fifteen? You wear the same suit. Every day, the same arguments. I'm practicing generosity. You can have the gown. You can have the right to be right. You can have the regrets. You can have the faulty memories. You can have the dead end dreams. You can virginity. You can have gold. One hand to the other, one hand out and letting it go... It feels so good. It feels so good to give it all away. One little thing at a time, I unarm you. I free myself. I bless myself, at last. One thing at a time. One moment at a time. This life is precious! This life is mine and mine will.
  4. I have never been in a relationship before and i met the girl of my dreams when i was 21... I am now 23 and she is 19 we have been together for around 16 months, and i honestly believe she is my soulmate, and she believes i am too... shes the best friend i have ever had. early on in the relationship she let me know of her past, she is a virgin as well as I, but in an earlier relationship she let me know that she gave her boyfriend oral sex on a few occasions.. at that time i was just amazed she was a virgin i didnt think much about it, but as time went by I loved and cared for this girl like no other. she later told me that there was yet another experience with an earlier boyfriend when she gave him oral sex in his car..... she promises that i know everything now........... Before her I had never had a sexual encounter..... but keep this in mind, she told me all the graphic details of her encounters, i know where she did this, around her home..... so everytime i see the area it reminds me of the event... I never knew that I would be this way, It hurts me so bad the images in my head of the girl i love, it feels like a poison in my brain slowly rotting away.... We have been together this long and we still havent made love because she is too "paranoid" of her parents and other things, when we are able... its such a hassle for her to do anything for me intimately. I will never pressure her to do anything, and i think i have been patient with her.... its so frustrating, having so many conflicting thoughts, and hurtful mental images in me.... She tells me she regrets it, and i do believe her..... Dont get me wrong we have a great relationship and we are closer than anyone ever could.... But i am so jealous, I know im wrong on this and should just let it go, believe me i want to.... but its so painful it wont leave me I know i can never be with anyone else.... before everyone tells me, yes i know im overreacting and wrong, and before i was in love i wouldnt care if she had been with 20 guys... but the love i have for her makes every little thing so hard. Please if anyone has any advice please tell me ...... dont be too hard on me, I know this whole thing sounds silly. Thank you Sincerly, Josh
  5. I have never been in a relationship before and i met the girl of my dreams when i was 21... I am now 23 and she is 19 we have been together for around 16 months, and i honestly believe she is my soulmate, and she believes i am too... shes the best friend i have ever had. early on in the relationship she let me know of her past, she is a virgin as well as I, but in an earlier relationship she let me know that she gave her boyfriend oral sex on a few occasions.. at that time i was just amazed she was a virgin i didnt think much about it, but as time went by I loved and cared for this girl like no other. she later told me that there was yet another experience with an earlier boyfriend when she gave him oral sex in his car..... she promises that i know everything now........... Before her I had never had a sexual encounter..... but keep this in mind, she told me all the graphic details of her encounters, i know where she did this, around her home..... so everytime i see the area it reminds me of the event... I never knew that I would be this way, It hurts me so bad the images in my head of the girl i love, it feels like a poison in my brain slowly rotting away.... We have been together this long and we still havent made love because she is too "paranoid" of her parents and other things, when we are able... its such a hassle for her to do anything for me intimately. I will never pressure her to do anything, and i think i have been patient with her.... its so frustrating, having so many conflicting thoughts, and hurtful mental images in me.... She tells me she regrets it, and i do believe her..... Dont get me wrong we have a great relationship and we are closer than anyone ever could.... But i am so jealous, I know im wrong on this and should just let it go, believe me i want to.... but its so painful it wont leave me I know i can never be with anyone else.... before everyone tells me, yes i know im overreacting and wrong, and before i was in love i wouldnt care if she had been with 20 guys... but the love i have for her makes every little thing so hard. Please if anyone has any advice please tell me ...... dont be too hard on me, I know this whole thing sounds silly.
  6. lets share some crappy first time storys. i think most people have a pretty bad first expirience with sex and i keep seeing posts about people going through their first time and are stressed out about it. here's mine: a girl i was with for around 2 months, we decided to finally sleep together (i was 16, she was 17), we where both virgins. after around an hour of foreplay we tryed getting to business, but everytime it started going in she would freak and push me out, this lasted for about an hour and a half until we where both kinda tierd so decided to get dressed and go out for a walk to relax a bit. got back and went back to business. when it finally happened it lasted about 5 minuts, she was in a redicules ammount of pain and spent about 20 minuts curled up on the bed bleeding. the only posotive thing about the entire thing was we got it out of the way P.S. feel free to share good expiriences aswell, though something tells me there will be more bad then good ones
  7. I'm a virgin and she isn't. We eventually want to do it but not yet. Any tips on how to do foreplay or doing it the first time? I really don't know.
  8. Hey everyone, I went out with the guy Im seeing last night, it was ok however I did something and now I really regret it. We didnt have sex or anything but we did do other sexual things. He didnt force me into it, he had asked like amillion times if it was ok and if I was ok with what we were doing, I was alittle doubtful but I still said yes. Now I feel really cheap and dirty, I feel like a skank Ive been seeing his for 8 months now, we have done things like this a few times before but Ive never felt this regretful! Im not sure whats wrong with me. What should I do? I dont want to tell him because it will break his heart, plus he kept asking me if it was ok and I had said yes. I did love him, I still do but theres this doubt in my heart. I havent had sexual intercourse and Im still a virgin, we have discussed doing it together but If Im going to feel this way then I dont want it.
  9. I don't mean to be big headed but i'm a good looking guy. I'm 22, over 6' in height, athletic build and a decent face. On the other hand i'm a virgin, have little confidence, terrified of confrontation and prone to bouts of depression thanks to my total lack of a social life (something i'm trying to remedy). I'm a wimp basically. I hide it as best i can and most people probably see me as a 'nice guy'. I've never said a bad word to anyone in my entire life. So do looks really count for anything when confidence is low? There are so many guys out there doing fun and interesting things like going on holidays, going to parties, playing musical instruments etc. What chance does the boring guy have?
  10. Firstly, I'm not a virgin. Haven't been for a year and a bit. I've had two partners since (one main one). There was a break for about 3 months where I wasn't having any sex. But a few days ago I started again and when I went to the bathroom afterwards there was a bit of a blood stain. I thought the bleeding stopped after a few times. I was checked out by a gynaecologist last year and they say nothing is wrong (the Pill can sometimes cause the cervical opening to become friable and bleed). But it's so embarrassing because it hurts as well and he feels really guilty about it. I seriously thought I'd gotten used to it. But I guess not. Has anyone had/have this problem? I suppose I should get some more lubrication...
  11. So... the gf is coming into town this weekend to stay with me for a few days. We have yet to go all the way, but we've done everything else. We have talked about it together, and we are planning to go ahead and sleep together while she's here. The thing is, I'm a virgin, while she is not. I love this girl to death, I really do. She makes me happy and I am 100% comfortable with her. But, for some reason, I'm terrified. I don't know why...I guess it's just a big step in our society. My biggest concern is that my nervousness will translate into um, an inability to perform, so to speak, so... does anyone have any advice to help calm my nerves? Like I said, I'm crazy about this girl, and would want to lose it to no one but her, yet I still have this anxiety...
  12. Today I lost my virginity with a lad ive been with for 9 months. i love him and thats why i did it! there was one thing tho...... I CRIED! Has anybody else ever cried when they lost theirs?? it didnt hurt at all so thats not why, and im not sad because i lost it or anything like that! i think its because ive been with him for 9 months and its like "its finally happened sort of thing! like happiness! i cant explain it! (the sex only lasted like 4 mins but it doesnt matter lol) just wondered if anyone else has ever cried? and why? or am i the only one? lol and if you did, did u ever cry again when had sex with the person again after that? (coz i dont wanna cry again coz i was to emotional to carry on!!) thank you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  13. Okay, just a little follow-up to my last progress report. Nothing as exciting as last weekend, but I did get another HI on the River Walk, from a very attractive young woman sitting on a bench outside a public bathroom when I stopped to unburden myself. Wow, the River Walk is a surprisingly friendly place! Having lightened my load, I started back. As I approached Uptown, in the semidarkness ahead I saw what looked like a very wide four-legged person standing in the middle of the bicycle trail. Hmmm... I was puzzled, until I got closer and realized it was actually two people standing so close together there was no gap between them. I got closer and realized that they were actually standing in the middle of the bicycle trail, hugging and kissing! Actually making out! Yikes! I'd heard rumors about people doing that, but I'd always doubted there was anything to them. But there it was, happening right in front of me, big as life. They were stuck together face to face, and the male one was actually reaching around and putting his hand on the girl's bottom. Blatantly touching her posterior! And she was letting him do it! I was amazed. Wow... I mean, fantasizing is one thing, but it boggles my mind to contemplate what it must feel like to do it in real life. God life is good for some people. And... there's also an update on my online project, my long-delayed quest for that one first woman to release me from my virginity. I've tried conventional dating sites with no luck. Having been a shy introvert for so many years, I don't know if I'm relationship material, but I still hope to try someday. So I've recently been using Adult Friend Finder, which is an adult dating website where people advertise expressly (and explicitly) for intimate encounters. I've been openly marketing myself as an adult virgin, and I've e-mailed well over 200 women so far. In the past few months, I've corresponded with several women who seemed interested, but with one exception, they've all fizzled. I did actually meet one woman for dinner, but we were mutually unimpressed. I've now decided that the women who corresponded with me did so only because they were intrigued. That surprised me, because I'd always believed there'd be plenty of women who'd enjoy having a clean, untouched male without having to resort to cradle-robbing. Or that maybe there'd be a little devil out there somewhere who'd get a kick out of introducing an unsullied country boy to the worldly vices. I haven't given up believing that, but I now suspect most of the women who got my e-mails either didn't believe me (why would they'd think I'd make up such a thing?), or thought there must be something wrong with me. (One woman actually e-mailed me and said, "If you're a virgin, I'm Mother Teresa, and she's dead!") So... with great reluctance, I've decided to stop promoting myself as a virgin. I'm a bit sad about that, because I felt great about being totally open and honest about my special situation, and I'd really, really been hoping to have my first time with a nice woman who understood, and was willing to be a virgin guy's first. I have a need to be understood that compels me to be more open about myself than a person probably ought to be. I guess I should really try to get over that. Oh, well... that's my progress to date. Stay tuned for the next exciting installment.
  14. My b/f and I have been going out for 2 months now and we haven't done anything near sexual. I know that he would, he's not a virgin and I still am. How do I let him know that I am ready to go a little bit farther in this relationship? If you guys could just give me some advice that would be great!!
  15. Should I be mad at my girlfriend? I feel so stupid for not noticing this but my girlfriend was a virgin and I was so rough with her because she had told me that she had sex before. I don't know why I didn't notice when I couldn't penetrate, probably because it was my first time as well. I don't know if I should be mad at her for not telling me or mad at myself for not noticing the obvious. Help me out, how should I feel about this?
  16. Ok so i have been goin out with my gf for 2 months now and all we've done is make out and touch each other a little bit. I think we both want to go a bit further (maybe oral) but i have no idea where to start (ie. how to drop hints, go down on her and actually finish the job) could you all give some tips on what to do (step - by - step) for me? Thanks a lot. Also, for when the time comes, what do u guys think is an acceptable time go for before blowing your load when ur losing ur virginity?
  17. i posted a thread aboutthis issue the other day but i couldnt find it and idk what i did wrong. anyway, i want to go down on my gf but she wont let me. she says its not appealing sounding at all to her.but if so many girls/women enjoy it why wouldnt she ya know? we were virgins when we started dating so i'm the first to try this. i figured she was just gonna be shy at first but weve been having sex for like 5 months now and she'll only let me kiss her upper thigh. i dont want to pressure her i love her buttt, i would def like to understand her frame of mind better....y would she not find the idea appealing? how/can i open her up to the idea with out being a * * * * and pressuring her to let me?
  18. Ok, before I start, can I just say that not having sex before marriage is NOT common in England, where I live. Most of the people I know have sex in a long-term loving relationship and I really would prefer it if this thread didn't lapse into a "why do young people throw away their virginity to anyone" discussion, because I'm not talking about throwing it away. Having said this, my boyfriend has told me that he thinks he doesn't want to have sex before marriage. We have been together for a year now and have done everything except sex. Meaning oral sex etc. We talked about sex a couple of times and his reply has always been "I have a few things to sort out in my head first." I was suspicious that it was that he wanted to wait until marriage, but thought it could also be that he was nervous etc. All through the relationship, he's been hinting at having sex, for example "you're going on top when we do it" "you're so lucky I can last for a long time" "I guess you're pleased I'm so big" etc. So you can see how I might think he just wanted to feel comfortable together before we had sex. I'm sitting around thinking that sometime soon he'll bring it up in conversation and we'll start talking about doing it. Then a couple of weeks ago, he tells me that he thinks he might want to wait until marriage. I feel a little disappointed at this. I know I should and I DO respect his decision because I can't take this away from him if he wants to wait. I'm also a virgin but I feel ready to have sex. I love him so much and I wouldn't want to guilt-trip into sleeping with me. But it's just driving me crazy. I want to sleep with him so badly. He says he's happy with what we're doing at the moment, but I just feel I need more. It sounds awful, but that's how I feel. Breaking up with him is NOT an option. I love him too much. We both know we won't be together forever and I just feel that I want to make the most of the time we are together. How can I cope with this? I want to discuss it with him but don't know how to address the situation. Please give your views, I'm trying to sort this out in my head.
  19. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 days oficial,and a month before that passed in flirting,getting to know each other and hot hidden sessions of making out and stuff.The problem is that I love kissing,making out and all intimate stuff you can think of.And I start realizing that maybe I just like that too much.My bf doesn't kiss me as often as I'd like to and we've had maximum 4 sessions of real making out.Sometimes when I kiss him,he pulls away in a teasing way and that just kills my desire for intimacy with him.I know he likes it,but it seems my needs are just too much for him to be able to satisfy me.Also,we don't get anywhere further this stage which at times causes me to think of even dumping him,as I start thinking how much I enjoyed dry humping with my ex.I'm not sure why I feel this way,I've tried dry sex,fingering,receiving and giving oral and maybe everything except vaginal intercouse...so I guess that makes me a virgin? But then virgins don't have this big need of sexual intimacy and stuff,or am I wrong? Just want to hear your opinion.
  20. I've been with this guy for about 18 months, I was a virgin when I met him and Im pretty sure he was too. dont wanna know weve been having sex for about a year and the first few months he could last about 5 minutes but i could never orgasm, but for the past 6 months or so he only lasts like 3 thrusts...then its all over. I made the mistake of saying nah its ok and leaving it at that so i didnt hurt his feelings. so now he seems to think it is ok and only once in a while will he say hmmm that was short. ive only ever had 2 orgasms during sex in our whole relationship! i dont know how to talk to him about it...i know he will get embarrassed... anyone got any advice?
  21. Hmm I have a tough choice to make. Two girls A.Jennifer The good things 1.she likes me 2.crazy fun 3.to my knowledge is not dating anyone 4.supposed to be pretty(I've seen her twice but didnt know it so i actually don't know what she looks like) 5.We can have a fairly deep conversation together the bad things 1.not a virgin 2.has tried to commit suicide before(more than once and in more than one way) B.Rachel The good things 1.very attractive 2.mature 3.fun to be with 4.virgin the bad things 1.don't really know her in depth 2.not really able to speak to her a lot(don't get to see her often) I like them both very much.I just dont know.
  22. I lost my gay virginity to a guy that really didnt care about me so much as just "turning me gay"- and then telling everyone. And my reaction was so truly undignified and I freaked and everyone saw me freak. How do I get my dignity back? I'm the furthest thing from this person's mind- but every time I walk down the street I forced to contend with the way he exposed me. How do I get my dignity back? I haven't technically been raped- but something very important feels like its been taken away from me.
  23. Guys and Girls. I'm 24 and my first love of my life after 20 months, broke up with me. This was my first girlfriend, first love, and I'm still a virgin (not that it has anything to do with it) but she told me she loves me but she's not IN LOVE with me and it's not fair to her and me if she stays like this. Guys, I'm going crazy. I'm crying my eyes out. I was never nothing but nice to her, I respected her, loved her to death, she tested me millions time and never once did I leave her or went for somebody else or lost my faith on her and I was finally dumped. Please help me with you healing opinions. Please.
  24. This new term of rejection (I made up) is defined as when a woman is in the prime position to make a decision of action (ie. inexperienced virgin looking for someone, or a 'serious' girl that's open to action). You are showing interest and there appears to be reciprocity. Then somehow a 'player' or other 'alpha male' ends up bagging the girl and she becomes damaged goods. She either gets pregnant, or develops a resentment for men. Meanwhile you are left out. This form of rejection is a lingering one and usually takes about a week to a month. Other types of rejection: Mutual rejection: Both parties reject each other. Simple rejection: LJBF - B-shields. Any rejection or blow off of a move, or attempt to start a conversation. This form of rejection is rapid - usually can be a few seconds or minutes - or even longer depending on if it's after a date or something. No other guys are involved and you are just rejected for something you said, did, appear, or whatever. ************ Worst type of rejections for me appear to be the beta-types because they are usually lingering rejections and once the girl has surrendered her 'prime position' to someone else, then even if she accepts you afterwards - she's never in her initial prime position and the rejection still stands. These types of rejections are rememebered often times for months and years after the fact, while simple rejections are often forgotten about a few minutes or hours afterwards. **************
  25. a2000

    Oral sex

    If a man wants a BJ but has lots of previous partners should the woman make him wear a condom? Also, this might be a stupid question.. if a man wants a hand job, what happens when he comes, where does it go? Yes I'm a virgin who is curious.. thanks
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