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  1. So for anyone who wasn't following my original post, here it is: So I actually do really like this guy. I think he's really nice and genuine from what I know of him so far. We also do have a few things in common, even though it may not seem like it from the outset. We messaged each other every day and on our third in person date I came to his place for dinner. He cooked dinner for me and we had a few alcoholic drinks and watched a movie. I was actually feeling kinda drunk and got my confidence up and I really wanted to kiss him. I started cuddling up to him and holding his hand and stuff. He said he'd been trying to be respectful and not come on to me or anything and just spend time together. I kissed him but he seemed very inexperienced and not very good at it. Anyway we ended up fooling around a bit but really all it was I took my top off for a bit and we just kissed and cuddled. I asked him if he'd had sex before and he actually said that he hadn't. Then he said we're both drunk so let's not do anything sexual while we're drunk. Afterwards he messaged me every day again. Three days later I came over to his place again and we got Uber Eats and watched some anime. I want to point out also that both times he had a hard on literally all night and I think it was bothering him but I wasn't sure what to do about it. I mean he was right that we were drunk the first time and probably wasn't good to have that as his first time. So it was last night we were watching anime and then I stayed the night. We cuddled in bed a lot and it was really nice. We discussed about having sex and he basically said he wanted to but I'd need to take charge. The thing is I've actually developed feelings for this guy and I think about him a lot. I feel a bit silly because every time I think of him I get butterflies and just feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. So feel more like an infatuated teenager even though I'm 36 lol The thing was when he said he was up for having sex, I felt ridiculously nervous and kind of just froze. It's not because I'm not experienced at sex, in fact it's very much the opposite lol I lost my virginity when I was 17-18 and since then I've done a lot sexually since then. It's just that I've never actually been with anyone in their 30's who has no dating or sexual experience. He hasn't put any pressure on me actually but I think I'm putting pressure on myself to make his first time amazing, you know? I also understand he might think it's great and just be happy to have sex for the first time. And of course he'd have nothing to compare it to lol Oh yeah and we also discussed that we both want a relationship and we want to date each other. What I'm thinking though is, should I make his first time really special or should I actually try not to make a really huge deal of it? Like, should we go out for a nice dinner or something and then I can set up scented candles in the bedroom and stuff like that? Or should I not go all out like that and just do it? Or do I just ask him what he wants? I don't know why I'm feeling so nervous but this is a very big deal for me lol The only time I slept with someone who was a virgin was when I was a virgin myself too and just one other time when I was nineteen and this guy was twenty four and a virgin. But he wasn't really my boyfriend or anything and this was a very long time ago. Men, if you were (or are) a virgin would you want to make a big thing of your first time or would that make you feel more nervous?
  2. Hey Forum and sorry about the long post! To set the scene, I am late 20s(F) dating a late 20s(M) guy I met via OLD. It's been around a month now but we've been talking for longer. By circumstances (school, work, moving countries, etc.) I'm a virgin and mostly inexperienced in the dating world, especially if the person is a complete stranger. I have done some sexual things in the past with other people but there were always with friends or people I knew from my social circles. Just haven't been able to trust anyone enough to go all the way. I am now looking for a serious relationship but want to take things slow (I rushed before and it was a bloody disaster). However, by my own admission, I am thirsty as hell and do not want to wait forever. I just don't want it to happen outside of some form of a committed relationship, in case I form emotional attachments, which I am 1000% sure will happen. I know myself that well. So, the guy I've been going on dates with has been somewhat patient with me, always checking before he touched me certain ways, etc. I made him wait three weeks before we actually met in person, I shut down a sexting attempt before we actually met IRL. So far, we've met up twice and touched and made out on both dates, so I know the sexual attraction is there. Now we've recently started sexting and I don't know if I am encouraging him seeing me as a "piece of meat" rather than a serious potential partner. He has stated that he'd be open to a relationship but wasn't explicitly looking for this, while I told him I was looking for a serious relationship down the line but didn't want to rush and wanted to enjoy the dating experience itself. So, what are your thoughts and opinions? I am aware that the best way to get my answers will be when I see him again soon but I would still like some opinions from people who do not know either of us. Thank you!
  3. I really like this girl that I work with and we’ve been on a few dates. I’m 17 f and shes 19 f. We both have never dated anyone else or even had our first kiss. I was the one to ask her out and things have been going good, I know she’s interested in me, but she’s just so damn anxious. I know it’s not her fault but I have anxiety issues too and things are just not progressing because of this. I made the leap and hugged her, but I can’t make a move beyond that. I thought she may be opposed to affection so we had a conversation about boundaries and she assured me that I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable with anything. The most affectionate thing we’ve done is hug and we didn’t even do that until our 3rd date. I just don’t know how to get her to stop being so nervous. She keep apologizing for “being awkward” and I keep reassuring her but she never calms down at all. She literally just left my house less than an hour ago, I initiated a hug before she left, and it was a normal hug, but she’s so anxious that she thought she messed it up somehow. After we hugged, she said,”sorry Im so awkward.” What do I do? She’s technically the “boy” in the relationship, and I don’t want to overstep. I hate the idea of taking the more dominant role, and I really don’t want to be the one leading the pace. I need her to make the next move. She’s made it clear that she enjoys being the “man” in the relationship- so how do I make her comfortable enough to do that?
  4. ahmaltaj

    Help!

    A year ago, and half. It was 9 march an I met this girl in snapchat, this was a coincidence. I liked talked to her immediately and she did also so we talked many hours continuously. I really like her (also translating my language for her) and she say she loves me as hell. But we scared about an long distance relationship because she can't work in my place still, her university is very serious and she can't move right now. Her family is very observant in islam and I don't think her mum will take me in. She also does strong drugs but that's okay for me and now I kind of accept this fact. She is not religious anymore but she still doesn't eat for Ramadan to please her mother . Anyway we have a problem we have decided to has sex bit she is virgin and very scared. So I decided to tell her in precise detail my earlier experiences with my other girls and now she menaces me to break up with me because I hurt her as hell. I don't know what to do, she say she wasn't jealous first and now this. I just said her that how can she think that I don't love her if I want to take her virginity? I plan to marry her soon too Also, she keeps pushing me to have sex with others girls before we met and I don't knosw if it is a tesst or if she want me to them. I am lost
  5. There is this incredibly attractive girl that works at my gym. I really want to talk to her. Honestly I think the urge to talk her is increased because I think there's a mutual attraction. I'm confident there is. The problem is... I'm a virgin. I have NEVER been in a relationship my whole life. There's no chaotic reason as why I've been a virgin for this long. I never dated in high school, never went to college or university, I don't go clubs and bars, or do any kind of real socializing. I'm just a really, really, introverted guy. Honestly this whole thing kind of crept up on me as lame a that sounds. Anyway I'm tired of this life of solitude and want to talk to her to this. But the this virgin thing kind has me hesitate to make a move. It's prevented me from talking to any women. Should this really be an issue?
  6. Hey everyone, I'm 17 years old and i'm in need of some input & advice. It seems everyone my age is having sex these days, i'm in my last year of highschool and am prepared for University in the fall. I am still a virgin and most of my good friends have already had sex at some point in their lives, and don't get me wrong I've done my fair share of things with girls, but never had sex. I still have a few buddies who are virgins as well, and I know i'm still young but I just feel like an outcast at points, and envious of the others. The fact that i'm a virgin isn't brought into light when conversing with my friends, but it's still in the back of my mind. The grads are going on a trip to Quebec City on March Break and i'm guessing i'll have some fun there. Plus, next year in University is usually where people lose their V-card I hear. I'm just wondering how I can mentally cope with being a virgin, and I feel like i'm missing out on the pleasure everyone else is getting. I just don't feel like getting into a relationship right now, i'm independent, handsome, smart, and well ogranized (not bragging).. I just want some input on my situation please. Thank you very much
  7. Any non-virgin is a retroactively infidelity case. Let's face it, you cheated on your future spouce, thus you have committed retroactive infidelity when you do meet your future spouce, gf, or whatever. What do you think? If you are a virgin, or value sexual integrity - then do you see that virginity is the highest gift that a man or a woman can offer each other, and once that's breached, then the man or woman is 'damaged goods' because the most important gift possible is damaged. Do you view sexual integrity to be the highest value in a relationship? Has anyone been engaged to a virgin, and their would be finacee lost his/her virgin to some other guy, your best friend, or perhaps some player off the net? Let's here your story, how you coped with it, and what is your take on this issue.
  8. Well its even harder to explain this into a language that you might know..I coming down the road and there is a slight breeze in the air..A bit cold and a bit warm. As i pass the air blowing through the trees and blowing between the mountain a get the feeling that maybe someone has passed through here.But now I'm gonna have to make that choice of either going through the woods or through the mountain path. (You might be thinking now,is he telling me a story or is he writing a book) Well i cant choose the path. I am 19 and i have disorder as not making a decision for me to live life. I live at home with my mom and my dad and doggy.My brother moved out he is 19 also. My parents(They adopted my bro and I at 5 days old) are 69 and 68 and my mom has colon cancer ,Alzheimer's and is now blind in right eye. Shes struggled through the treatments and the surgery's. She is the reason why i live. I love her to deaath and i like the fact that she has never give up on something that she has tried. Than for my dad , hes been disabled since the day that he was under is car and was trying to fix it ..but than....the emergency break cable got unlatched and the car ran his left shoulder over . It shattered his bones and muscles. SO now he cant move is right left very high. But thats where i play the role of trying help them with everything.. I work 4 jobs averaging 80hrs a week and i try and have gf.. My gf is 16 and is awesome..But she kinda cheated on me the first time by having sex with my best friend(not anymore).We where weren't actually bf/gf yet .They where drunk but i kinda don't see that..Anyhow 5 weeks later I gave her a 2nd chance to date me..I consider myself as a real old fashion gentlemen Well What i m trying to get at is that i work and work and help pay the bills and pay my own and i don't see myself being any more happier. I m about to dump my gf b.c i think shes just out there to take my virginity away along with my dignity. I heard from here friend like 3months ago that she was just being nice and getting close to me to do that. But i think at the same time i just want a down to earth gf. I don't have any anger problems or disease's or disability's. I'm just waiting for the right girl. I consider myself a rare breed of guy. Every girl that i have had has said that don't want to be part of me cause i m to innocent. Im not sad cause of that but.....will i ever have one that is like me. Im a virgin to this day and im proud of it..no shame...But my question to this ....Will i be putting myself into a sort of depression b.c i cant find the right girl. (like i ll fall off my pride and go out and have sex with some random girl( i know i wont but most ppl or everyone states that they something but perform in differently in the end. I just need to decide that if i go through the pathway of the rocky mountain path that my life will be cold and lonely b.c Im gonna fall off into what i believe... or I just need to decide that if i go through the lush green forest that following what i believe and staying strong will lead me to what i need..but that means sacrificing one thing . My parents. > For I wanna be here and help my folks live the rest of there life out .Like they intended( When my kids grow up..i hope that they can take care of me like i did for them.) So the reason why I"m out here in this realm is to talk to someone who is out on the same path that i am. I m basically looking to go through the forest but i like to take a risk and go the other way.. I just want to know if out of the 6 billion people that will eventually pass through here , they have the same issue that i have. I like to tell my life with a story..
  9. PLease bear with me as I'm too embarrass to share this but if it's possible I would like to hear some feedbacks to this sudden idea I have. You may all you confused as to why I'm posting this on the sex and romance forum when in fact I'm still a virgin (though I almost got tempted). Basically just, just about 10 hours ago me and b/f do get to go and spend some time in a hotel (this is the third time but nothing real happens as I don't feel ready for the act yet). Well today as we were sitting, then laying on the bed, first came kissing and making out, then there was fonding and some petting. Then as its started procceding to rubbing ourselves (with our clothes on), I kinda almost got tempted when it went to my very first getting fingered (only this time his finger went inside) and flashing each other (only the whole thing) , but I stopped things and basically say I wans't really ready, so basically nothing to do with neither oral, nor anal, nor penetration happen, not ready for that either. Anyways at first when he fingered me, it did hurt, kinda felt like a nail going on me. Then came the idea going in my head, if I actually have a hymen, so he looked through it with his finger and yes I do have, only it's tightened (which mean when in the future I get to do the actual act, there will be pain for sure). Only one finger fitted inside, not two so I thought it would be a good idea if I get the chance to get it brokened by fingering, didn't work. So here's another idea I have. What if I were to get myself a dildo (or something like a fake penis) since I'm not ready to give my virginity yet and see if that will work enough to break my hymen. That way when the real thing were to come in the future there will be no pain. Obviously my bf/ thinks it's a bad idea and that I can hurt myself from doing that and that the real thing would have to happened first then the once it does, then I can do it with the toy.
  10. hey sorry for the vague subject heading, i just need some opinions on this, good or bad i dont care i just need something besides my own get-me-nowhere train of thought. well let me say first off that i dont know if im a lesbian or not, im most def prob bi. but i wont know until i can really get out there and see, anyway most always i have thoughts of a sexual nature running through my head as i am a virgin as well. lol YES! anyway ok so i have this group of friends, and one of my guy friends has a gf who used to be gay....which in my opinion means she is still clearly interested in women even tho she's been in this relationship for a long time. i can just tell she still likes girls just the way she acts and the things she says. anyway everytime i hang out with them and she's there i cant be myself because i think she's gauging everything i do trying to see if im bi, or les or whatever. i cant take it. i cant look at anything too long i cant look at her too long or i feel like she's trying "make a connection" through our eyes. i hate that * * * *. because even if i was she wouldnt be my type. haha. so what is this? all in my head. i want to be able to be myself and not worry that she's breathing down my back all the time. i get enough of that from my parents believe me. help! haha evil bat lol
  11. hey all, i'm 16 and a junior in high school, our school had a christmas party tonight and somebody mentioned how someone still looked like a virgin, and then everyone started asking each other if they were virgins. i was completely taken back by this because i cannot even imagine having sex at such a young age, i mean 16 is still sooo young and we are still figure out who we are as individuals. so then someone made a dirty joke and everyone started laughing and then one of my friend's turns to me and says, "stop laughing jenna, you don't even get it, you're so innocent, it's not like you've done anything with a guy anyways" it kind of took me back, i mean why are girls who are 15/16 talking about oral sex and sex and are actually doing it. so i guess in a sense it would be nice to fit in with the other girls and have a boyfriend to "do stuff with", but i mean I've kissed a guy, I go on dates, I happen to think I'm a regualr teenager, I just choose not to get involved and try to grow up so fast. Yet, I still feel so left out, like being 16 means I'm SUPPOSED to have sex, and not be innocent anymore. So i Don't know why this bothered me so much, but they comment kind of made me feel like I'm not normal...I need your thoughts
  12. My girlfriend and I are new to sex so we have decided to start off with oral (we're both virgins and have decided to hold off on intercourse for the time being). I eat her out as often as possible, and it always seems like I am doing the right thing but she has not had an orgasm yet. We have done it at least ten times now without her climaxing. My questions are, how long does it typically take for a woman with little sexual experience to achieve her first orgasm? How many sexual experiences did you guys (mainly for the women out there) go through before you came with your partner for the first time? And as a general rule of thumb, what works best to help her achieve it? Thanks!
  13. Ohkay. My girlfriend was a virgin. We had sex the other day. Then the next day, and so on. Anyways, theres a problem. It hurts her REALLY bad. Her hymen is unbreakable >_
  14. Hey Everyone, I'm new here, this is my first post. I've read a lot of topics on here until now and I've finally decided to ask a question. Me and my gf has been together for about 5 months now, and I'm taking it slow, because I don't want to screw things up. We were together last night and she can get me hard real fast, like lightning fast... she has an incredible touch, the thing is, is that I'll be hard for about 15 min and then it'll just go away! And she tried for 10 min after that to get it back up and it just wouldn't co-operate. I need to know what I can do to stay hard or some pointers to tell my gf to get me going again... Another question. I've been rubbing her vaginal area trying to work my way to the clitoris, but I'm really not sure how to go about doing this... I really want to be able to please her and i'm trying new things. I've never done this before.. Only twice... I can admit that I'm a virgin, and I'm not really experience with this so Any help would be great! Thanks!
  15. i admit it. i am a virgin. and i now have a boyfriend that i love and that i believe i want to lose my virginity to. he is not a virgin and he deffinitly wants to have sex but the thing is, i am very nervous. i am scared that it will hurt a lot and the thing is, even when he fingers me, sometimes it hurts. what can i do to not be so nervous about this? i just want to keep putting it off because i am nervous even though i know i am ready.
  16. I was wondering, just out of pure curiosity, what is the best way to take a womens virginity? Sorry to be graphic, I know the women bleeds during her first time and that it is painful for up to a week in some cases and that . . . . . . what I want to know is how the man can reduce the pain and increase the experience so to speak both during the first sex and afterwards , I mean, a nice atmosphere, foreplay, communicating with one another, best positions to use, u know that sort of thing etc. . Firstly, what are the ways to make her happy during her first time? Secondly, if you (i.e. the ladies or even men) had a second chance at ur viginity what would u want different? or what wud u have done different for the boys who have taken someones virginity? Hope that makes sense lol. Looking forward to some comments. Thanks and enjoy
  17. Hey, guys, thanks for all the responses last night. They did help. But, guess what? We were talking tonight, and turns out she is a sexually active virgin as well. I apparently misinterpreted something she had said earlier, so I assumed differently. All that worrying for nothing! ~Softiron
  18. One of my best friends is a 29 year old virgin. Not only that, but he has never kissed a girl. (He has kissed a stripper once but I don't count that). He's an average to above average looking guy. Women have even given their numbers to him a few times. The thing is, he is your typical nice guy, people pleaser. He would never do or say anything to offend a woman - he would even feel bad if he made a move on a woman and it made her feel uncomfortable. I realize that he's too nice of a guy, but he's pushing 30 and hasn't kissed a woman or even made a move on one who is not a stripper. He used to frequent strip clubs a few times each week and it became almost an obsession with him. Although I discouraged him from going so frequently, I thought that maybe he would eventually become involved with one. The only thing I can think of in his childhood is that his father passed away when he was in junior high. There was no history of sexual abuse or child abuse. I have been baffled about this for years. He has witnessed me go out with women, go through a few long term relationships and still the guy has no clue about anything. At this point in his life, I feel as if he has waived the white flag and has given up. He no longer wants to go out on weekends, he shows no desire in asking a woman out, and he even made plans to work this New Years Eve to avoid going out and having a good time. I would just hate to see my good friend who is only 29 give up on women. I'm not sure how one would get through to him.
  19. I've been with this guy for about 18 months, I was a virgin when I met him and Im pretty sure he was too. dont wanna know weve been having sex for about a year and the first few months he could last about 5 minutes but i could never orgasm, but for the past 6 months or so he only lasts like 3 thrusts...then its all over. I made the mistake of saying nah its ok and leaving it at that so i didnt hurt his feelings. so now he seems to think it is ok and only once in a while will he say hmmm that was short. ive only ever had 2 orgasms during sex in our whole relationship! i dont know how to talk to him about it...i know he will get embarrassed... anyone got any advice?
  20. Hmm I have a tough choice to make. Two girls A.Jennifer The good things 1.she likes me 2.crazy fun 3.to my knowledge is not dating anyone 4.supposed to be pretty(I've seen her twice but didnt know it so i actually don't know what she looks like) 5.We can have a fairly deep conversation together the bad things 1.not a virgin 2.has tried to commit suicide before(more than once and in more than one way) B.Rachel The good things 1.very attractive 2.mature 3.fun to be with 4.virgin the bad things 1.don't really know her in depth 2.not really able to speak to her a lot(don't get to see her often) I like them both very much.I just dont know.
  21. So woot woot I had sex with my girlfriend and now were no longer virgins. But um I am sort of worried. She had to take a long pee after having sex is that normal? Or should I be worried? Also what are the % of pre-cum getting a girl pregnant. It was protected sex but the first time getting it in it was not then I said after like it being in their for 3 seconds I said I need to put a condom on if we are going any furture. So I did. But should I be worried how I am now because I am really worried.
  22. Last night we were fooling around with my boyfriend(now ex because we had a fight later) and he got hard.But when we got to the serious part(last one) he just lost the hard on.I told him it would probably be because he hasn't slept enough.He asked me to "drive him crazy" next time so his friend wouldn't go to sleep so soon.What could cause it to "fall asleep"? Also..he said this hadn't happened with any of the girls he's been with.But I have reasons to believe he's a virgin behind his bragging abour sexual experience mask.He didn't want to be on top,I'm thinking maybe because that would mean he has to do all the stuff and he's afraid to screw something up.I don't know.So there are 2 questions-why didn't it stay hard for longer and how can I see if a guy's a virgin(I know guys who don't admit).
  23. Hey, I need things explained My boyfriend knows I'm a virgin (and likes this fact about me) so he's said that he won't pressure me into anything etc. and he knows I'm not up for sex anytime soon. There's just one thing I don't quite understand, why does he look forward to our heavy makeout sessions so much, if he knows it wont lead to sex? Because I once read in someones post that heavy makeout sessions can be quite frustrating... Last time it was about an hour, and it was dry sex, he fingered me, and touching everywhere etc (I was too nervous about going down on him though). Does this kind of thing release a guys sexual frustration? If not, then why does he like it so much and mention looking forward to it? (He's not a virgin). I even mentioned afterwards, 'I really don't want to disappoint you', and he was like 'don't be silly'. Basically, I can't figure out this contradictory thing of making out and touching without full-on sex being frustrating, but my boyfriend looking very much forward to it. Can anyone explain this to me please? Thanks xXx
  24. my bf and i have been together for 8months and i absolutely love giving him head!! im very affectionate and truly enjoy pleasing him. he has never gone down on me. we've talked bout it and he says he will "one day" but it still hasnt happened!! and maybe one day if it does happen i'm fearful that i wont enjoy it fully as i'll be thinking 'is he ok?' 'does he like it?' from what he has told me he has only ever gone down on one girl (his 39)he broke her virginity and nver done it since!! apart from this our sex life is good but im craving it soooo bad and im constantly fantasizing about my ex going down on me because he just couldnt get enough!!! so whats a girl to do?? I WANT ORAL peace n more love xoxo
  25. Hey guys!! Rite as the title says.......me n my bf cant have sex........... Ive been with my boyfriend now for 6 months n i love him 2 pieces n he loves me. So far iv given him handjobs (no blow job) and hes fingered me and licked me out (not all in the same day btw!). We are really comfortable with each other BUT whenever we attempt to have sex.... it never happens ](*,) We do the whole foreplay and im always wet and i give him a quick handjob for a couple of minutes (just to make sure hes hard) and put the jonny on, but when he trys to enter me he cant. His hard-on keeps going down and when it cums bak on again he still cant get into me! Im a virgin but im not that tight!! He said to me today that he is self conchous about his penis (i thought so because i havent even seen it!! sounds impossible i no but i havnt!) But i dunno why that should stop it from happening! He said that we should try it in the dark, i agreed at the time but i know that its not a good idea because the only way to get over fears is to face them, so im going to say that to him. My basic question is guys is it easy to penatrate a girl? I mean do you ever have to use your own hand to put it in yourself even if its hard?? has this happened to anyone else?? thanks for ANY advice xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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