Jump to content

Crazyaboutdogs

Platinum Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    25,671

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    82

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Crazyaboutdogs

  1. Crazyaboutdogs
    Starwisher, So true. Just hang in there. It will be rough going but you will get through it.
  2. Crazyaboutdogs
    Rose2Summer, I have good days and bad days. I still cry and have thoughts of his engagement breaking off and him running back to me. I also realize that even if he did, it could never be the same. I could never really trust him again. I need to move on with my life.
  3. Crazyaboutdogs
    Having a dog really helps take the edge off the loneliness. You have to care for them, play with them and be there for them. In turn, you get love back. No, they can't talk to you and they are not a substitute for human companionship, but they are wonderful companions.
  4. Crazyaboutdogs
    Rose2summer I guess it depends on the person. When I found out through a newsletter about "my guy's" engagement, I was livid that he had betrayed my trust. I wasn't sure whether to ignore it and walk away or let him have it for his behaviour. I decided that if I didn't tell him off, I would just look like a doormat willing to accept any behaviour he threw in my direction. I didn't ask for answers why, in fact, I wished them both well. I wanted to go out of the picture showing him that I thought his behaviour was dishonest and that I no longer respected him. I didn't even have to tell him that I didn't respect him, it was very plainly obvious in my tone of voice. If a relationship ends through dishonesty I think the injured party has the right to tell the other person that his actions were deplorable.
  5. Crazyaboutdogs
    Since when does he think he can call the shots. He dumps you in a cold and heartless fashion and expects you to suck it up and not contact him. I say you have every right to contact him and tell him that his actions are deplorable, whether you do that by email, phone or letter, is up to you, but definitely don't let him off the hook for this one.
  6. Crazyaboutdogs
    He is not being respectful of you. You are his wife and yet he is talking to his ex about the child they had together and he keeps this a secret from you. This is not good. It is not even a matter of you being there for him to help him, it is a matter of him respecting the fact that YOU ARE HIS WIFE and any child he had in the past is indeed relevant to you, especially since he feels the need to discuss it with his ex. You need to sit down and talk to him about how this has impacted you. What other secrets is he keeping from you. You have a right to know.
  7. Crazyaboutdogs
    Elektra, that tirade was a bit insulting. Many people who choose to remain virgins until they meet the right man, or until marriage, respect themselves and their bodies. Yes, many people who aren't virgins do to, but please don't devalue someone's choice to remain a virgin and get defensive about not being a virgin. Because society seems to place a huge emphasis on sex, anybody who chooses to remain a virgin until the right one comes along are sometimes treated as a freak and subjected to harsh criticism like your post. It is an amazing thing that someone chooses to be their own person and not conform to what is deemed "normal" by society just to fit in.
  8. Crazyaboutdogs
    I agree with NJRon. Even if she does get help, know that this will be a lifelong issue. Even if she is able to stop, it will be an ongoing battle in her head and she may start again. She may be a wonderful woman in all other aspects, but being married to an alcoholic will slowly erode any feelings of love you have for her. If she refuses to get help, you need to walk away otherwise you are being an enabler.
  9. Crazyaboutdogs
    There are many people who have cheated and have really regretted what they have done. To say that cheaters don't love their partners is really oversimplifying things. Yes, some cheaters don't really love their partner, but others do. In many cases, once a cheater, always a cheater, but not in all cases. Having said all that, your boyfriend deserves to know the truth. Even though it will be painful for him to hear, at least he will have the chance to decide what to do with this knowledge. You deny him his rights if you do not tell him. If he chooses to stay with you, know that it will be a tough road for both of you and you will have to earn his trust again. Either way, you need to take full responsibility for your actions and know that you will never do it again.
  10. Crazyaboutdogs
    I think the "not trusting you" bit is an excuse for her to go out and have fun with other guys. I would give her "not trusting you" a lot more credibility if she was not out there flirting with all the guys. Be very careful with her. All the guys are after her because they think they'll "get lucky". Who she was is not who she seems to be now. Let her go. Don't even be her friend. She wants to be Ms. Popularity with the men, let her but don't count yourself in as one of her groupies. Let her find out the hard way that her popularity is only skin deep and goes just as far as she is willing to put out. Move and and find someone who wants a serious relationship and wants just one man in her life.
  11. Crazyaboutdogs
    I have never been in this type of situation before but all I could say is get out before he really does major damage to you. His abuse is getting worse and will indeed get even worse than this as time goes on. The more he gets away with it, the more he will push the envelope. You having an affair justifies anger and hurt feelings on his part but absolutely does not justify emotional and physical abuse. For your own well-being, you need to get out of there.
  12. Crazyaboutdogs
    I know exactly how you are feeling. I feel the same way. The guy who broke my heart seemed like a really nice, caring guy. He seemed kind, compassionate and would go out of his way to do things for people. Four years later I realize now that it was a front. On the surface he was good and kind the way a politician is good and kind....shakes hands with people, holds babies...just to get elected...but once elected, their true colours come out. The guy who broke my heart was like this. Very successful, well-liked by people, knew exactly what to do to rise up the ladder to success both professionally and personally. The problem is, it was only skin deep and the core was rotten. He used people for his purposes, knew what buttons to push. Given the way he ultimately treated me, I wonder how many people he stabbed in the back on the way up. I used to think he was so nice, but I was taken in like everyone else. Others don't see the real him, but I got to see beneath the surface and just how ruthless he is. He hides it so well from the rest of the world.
  13. Crazyaboutdogs
    It has been two weeks since my heart was shattered into a million pieces by betrayal from the one I cared about. This coming on the heals of several other personal crises. I too am worn out and disillusioned. I am also in a situation of starting all over making new friends. I am always the one who is there for people, who helps people when they are down, does favours for people, makes people feel welcome and wanted. Throughout my life I have also learned that just because you are there for them, it doesn't mean they will be there for you when the chips are down. I have some supportive people at work who call and make sure I am okay. I also have two friends I have known for over 25 years who are calling me to make sure I am okay. Today I forced myself to go to a singles brunch. Most of the people were over 50 so I am not interested in dating them. I did meet a woman my age who actually works close to my place of work. We seemed to have commonalities so we exchanged phone numbers and perhaps I have just made a new friend. I still came home and cried my eyes out because while I am back out there starting from scratch trying to meet someone, the guy who broke my heart is happily planning his wedding. But I am trying to soldier on, however painful it is. I have put the word out to friends and colleagues that I am looking to get fixed up. I don't know where all that will lead. I am just feeling so defeated.
  14. Crazyaboutdogs
    I would say stay away from her. It seems to me she just likes to have older men wrapped around her finger. She knew exactly what she was about having sex talks with you and then playing all coy once you make a move on her. She is trouble and if I were you, don't put your job at risk for her.
  15. Crazyaboutdogs
    Thanks for posting this. I just went to a singles brunch and felt the hopelessness of my situation. It made me miss him so much more. It made me angry to think he is getting married and has his future all sewn up and I am back out there doing the singles brunches again. It hurts so bad.
  16. Crazyaboutdogs
    Time to move on and let her find a man that will view the fact that she wants to remain a virgin for now as something wonderful, honourable and commendable. There are plenty of men out there who would see her as a great catch because she is selective and not ready to be a penis receptacle for every horny man out there. Move on, there are many women out there who would be glad to oblige to fulfill your needs.
  17. Crazyaboutdogs
    Please please please don't blame yourself for being molested by your uncle. It was not your fault at all. It was entirely his fault and he is sick. You are not tainted or dirty and don't ever let anyone make you feel that way for what happened to you. Is there anyone you can talk to about your molestation. There must be groups or counsellors that can help you deal with this. There are also books that you might be able to find. Please get some help so that you can deal with what happened. It was not your fault.
  18. Crazyaboutdogs
    One of the mistakes many people make in relationships is assuming that absolutely everything needs to be shared. People need privacy, even from someone they are dating, living together with or married to. Asking for someone's password is very presumptuous and an invasion of privacy. If you don't trust him, then you should break up with him. People are entitled to send others emails. It doesn't mean that anything is going on. People are allowed to have friends.
  19. Crazyaboutdogs
    You have told her how much you care so now it is time to back away. She needs to deal with her grief in her own way. Perhaps she is not comfortable being an emotional burden to you. The only thing you can do is keep your distance and let her come to you.
  20. Crazyaboutdogs
    Although you shouldn't have had the affair, the real problems in your marriage are due to her controlling and manipulative behaviour. She is blaming you for her problems. If she refuses to see how she has contributed then I would say separate and see if that will get her to see some sense. Controlling and manipulative people do care about their partners, but their internal self-loathing seems to take over and they can't get past that. She needs counselling. You should not tolerate being told how to behave and not to have a sense of humour. Next time she says she is embarrassed by your humour and to stop it, tell her that this is who you are and if she doesn't like it then perhaps she should leave. I am sure if you stood up for yourself, she would back down, perhaps not without a fight, but eventually she would. I have a controlling and manipulative mother so I know exactly how the scenes play out.
  21. Crazyaboutdogs
    People think that rebound relationships help them get over an ex, but what seems to typically happen is that there are unresolved issues which come up once the heady days of the new relationship settle down. That is when the doubts and the longings for the ex and what went wrong start to surface. In the end, it is the person who was the rebound who gets really hurt when they find out that what they had was not sincere and just the other person's way of smothering their emotions for their ex. Heal yourself and get over your ex before embarking on a new relationship.
  22. Crazyaboutdogs
    Eating disorders strike people at all ages, not just young women. I know someone in her 60's who has been suffering from it for years. Do a search on eating disorders. There is a lot of information out there. Other signs include rituals regarding food....what time to eat, when to eat, where to eat, talking about food incessantly, always thinking about food, going into graphic detail about what you ate, obsessive weighing and measuring of food, exercising immediately after eating, lack of focus on things because too busy obsessing about food. The list goes on.
  23. Crazyaboutdogs
    Oh, I forgot to mention, those friends who had less and less to do with me, always came around when they wanted my help or advice! Users, who needs them!
  24. Crazyaboutdogs
    If you received a letter like this, would you intrepret that as someone who wants to get back together with you, or someone who really couldn't care less and is essentially saying, have a good life? There is nothing in that note that says anything about getting together, making things work etc. It is leaving everything up to being only friends some time in the distant future. I am sure she was very upset getting this note. If you really want her, you have to go after her, even if she is cool at first. She is very hurt by your actions and very wary. You need to tread carefully. If she cares about you, she will eventually soften up, but don't expect instantaneous results, it takes time.
  25. Crazyaboutdogs
    Many people are stubborn and not because they just don't want to do something. There are a lot of people out there who cut off their noses to spite their face because they want something to be their decision or because "nobody tells me what to do". People are complex and sometimes they have to learn the hard way that their behaviour is driving people away. So many times you see on this board, people who have known they are misbehaving with their partner and once it drives them away, they regret their actions. Stubborness and pigheadedness came back and bit them on the butt. You have to back off and go about your life without him. He might not see things clearly right away but over time he might realize what his actions have cost him. Pushing him will drive him further away so you need to let him come to you. If others are trying to talk sense to him and he is shutting down, there is something up with him. He needs to get whatever it is out of his system, or, he may have to hit rock bottom with his attitude before he wakes up and changes his attitude. Only he can do that and no amount of outside pressure will help.
×
×
  • Create New...