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Crazyaboutdogs

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Everything posted by Crazyaboutdogs

  1. My brother's wife never treated me respectfully. My brother never did anything about it. I tried to confront him on this issue and it didn't do any good. My brother had always been hot and cold with me so I think my sister-in-law got her cues from him, plus, she is not the nicest person herself. Over time I stopped stressing about it, just accepted it and have zero relationship with either of them. You get to a point where you are sick and tired of trying and you just treat them as the non-entity that they treat you...and it eventually stops bothering you.
  2. Never ceases to amaze me that some adults still act like they are teenagers. You deserve better than this. Don't beat yourself up about responding to his text...it is all part of the process of working your way to closure.
  3. I think in light of her reaction you need to let her go her own way. She dumped you but was hoping you would still be on the backburner pining for her. As she rebounded with you, chances are she will rebound from you. People who rebound can't handle being without a relationship. You should not be the fallback person for her. You deserve better.
  4. Six weeks is really not a long time. Remember that if someone is going to cheat, they don't need to go on vacation to do it. You either trust him or you don't. If he has never given you any reason to believe he would cheat, then don't assume that a vacation away will turn him into a different person. A 6 week breakup while he is away is not the answer, because if he did hook up with someone, you wouldn't feel any better anyway. Lots of people travel without their partner and they remain 100% loyal. Instead of worrying about what he is doing, come up with interesting and fun things in your own life so that you are enjoying yourself and not focusing on worrying about him.
  5. You joined ENA not long after I did. I think I recall the Victoria66 name.
  6. It takes time to get over a breakup, there is no set timeframe. People heal at their own pace. Over time friends and family don't want to hear about it anymore so it can leave a person feeling like they are dealing with the emotions all alone. This forum is great as there is so much good advice and people giving comfort. Also you can read about the experiences of others who are also trying to deal with a breakup. It feels less lonely.
  7. Thanks Seraphim! Got busy with work. It is nice to be back!
  8. Some people have a hard time saying the words "I love you" but that doesn't mean they don't love the other person. Conversely, some people say "I love you" when they don't really mean it or it is still the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Love doesn't necessarily have to be expressed verbally...it is the actions that speak love more than words. The caring and thoughfulness. The little things that are done and said, the special glances and special touches. Love between two people can be felt even if "I love you" is not stated in words.
  9. I am not sure what other pavilions were at the event. I love ceramics and tiles but I couldn't actually name styles. Kind of like how I view a painting..I may love it but I wouldn't know who painted it.
  10. I was once at an event where there was a pavilion exhibiting and selling Turkish ceramics. They are gorgeous - very colourful. I bought a small bowl.
  11. I have to wonder how happy your wife is and if she is trying to spice up her sex life elsewhere. Your wife seems a bit too concerned about whether or not her friend is getting laid, not about her finding a companion to share life with....but simply that her friend hasn't had sex in a long time. Your wife's priorities seem a trifle messed up. I even have to wonder if this is that much of a concern for her friend or if your wife is simply projecting her own unhappiness and rather than saying it is her, she is using her friend as the "scapegoat". It doesn't sound like your wife is a very good friend. If I recall, wasn't there a scene in the movie "The Big Chill" where the wife encouraged her husband to have sex with her friend. That's Hollywood..but in real life it is not a great idea.
  12. I agree with Chris. By agreeing to "taking it slow" and the fact that you are so excited that she agreed to that, means that no matter what you say or do she will see through it and know you are desperate to get her back. Don't be in such a rush to see her. Flirting with her will give the impression that you are trying too hard. If she is having issues with her car and house flooding then she has a lot of stuff to sort out. At this point in time, rather than focusing on trying to be "exciting" and "flirtatious", why not just offer to give her hand if she has to clean out her house etc, whatever needs to be done to help her through the flooding issues. While that falls into being "nice guy", it also falls into being a naturallly concerned person who wants to help someone going through a rough time. That will take the pressure off of you to "perform". You want things to be natural rather than to have to put on a performance for her.
  13. Or perhaps that is his favourite place to go with his gf as well as his other bits on the side and that is why the server was giving the looks. Experience doesn't necessarily make someone wise...and lack of experience does not necessarily mean they have no wisdom. I suspect that if you told your friends, most would not be very impressed and would realize even without experience, that this is a very bad situation that they themselves would not want to be in. I suspect that many would be giving you sound advice about ending this dalliance right away. I also suspect that you are not telling them because you know it is wrong and you don't want to look bad in their eyes. End the dalliance. Then you need to change your mindset and behaviour about what it means to be in a relationship. By having a "relationship" with someone who has a gf, you are demonstrating that you don't have much regard for loyalty and fidelity in a relationship. If you can willingly invade the sanctity of someone else's relationship, then where is the moral compass that would prevent you from violating the sanctity of your own relationship. Also, if you can do that to another woman, then I guess it is fair to say that it would be okay for a man in a relationship with you to have their own bit on the side. Bottom line is that this is something that should be ended sooner rather than later. If you need sex there are plenty of single men who are out their trolling for sex.
  14. I hear you. I don't understand today's obsession with "let's pretend I am a Victoria's Secret model" or for those who like to send naked photos of themself or film themselves having sex "let's pretend I am a porn star". Even boudoir photos are not the kind of photos one would want floating around the universe...and since photos are now electronic, someone has a copy. So giving them to a boyfriend is a bad idea. One day he is your boyfriend, the next day he is not..and then he has these sexy photos he can accidentally leave lying around for his friends to see. Sure, there is no boyfriend now...but the intent was to give them to your boyfriend...so once you have these photos, and they will cost a pretty penny, it is very likely you will decide to give them to your next boyfriend. As for the boosting self-esteem...self-esteem should come from within, it shouldn't come from a bunch of contrived sexy poses that are pretty standard fare for any boudoir photo shoot. Having said all that, it is your life and your choice. If you want to do the photo shoot then do it and don't worry about what your parents think. Don't discuss it with them and don't show them. They will not change their opinion and you don't need their approval.
  15. The problem is that you are basing your loveability on whether or not a man loves you as a romantic partner. There are a lot of people in life who never find the love of their life, or they end up stuck in a marriage with a person who never loved them. Does that suddenly make them unloveable? Of course not. Finding someone who truly understands and feels very deeply for a particular person is very difficult...and sometimes people have it for a few years and then the interest wanes. Romantic love can last a lifetime between some people, or can be very fleeting. Just because nobody has loved you in a romantic way, doesn't mean you are unloveable. There is more to being loveable than whether or not there is interest from a romantic partner. Being loveable has to do with a person's character and how they behave. There are actually many unloveable people (people who mistreat others) who have found a partner who loves them while most other people in that unloveable person's acquaintance think the person is a huge jerk and someone to be wary of. Look at many of the world's evil people such as criminals and dictators...many have found the romantic love of one or several people while the rest of the world despises them. Being loveable is about how you are with others and how others see you rather than on simply whether or not you have success with romance.
  16. It is not a reflection on you at all. It is a reflection of the person who is faking it in order to not be alone. This guy has been with you for a year and he keeps telling you he doesn't love you. The decent thing for him to have done was to end the relationship rather than continue on keeping a big part of himself away from you. He likes the comfort of cuddles, he likes the knowledge that you really care for him...and he is selfish to keep the relationship going in order to get from you what he can't GIVE to you.
  17. Here on ENA people often use that overused expression "love is action" and that as long as the person shows loving actions then it must be love..whereas if a person doesn't show loving actions that means there is no love. However, life is not that black and white. There are people who love deeply and yet have emotional issues which cause them to sabotage the relationship. There are also people, like your boyfriend, who do all the right things that are supposed to be done when in love...but they don't feel the love. In other words, they are faking their way through a relationship. If people can have intense make out sessions with a stranger and sex without love, then surely it is not a stretch that they can cuddle with someone on a sofa or help them when sick, and yet not feel any romantic love. Feelings of romantic love are just as important as actions. As for the look of love..well...look at all your Hollywood celebrities who have goo goo eyes for their latest partner and then they cheat or dump their partner. Goo goo eyes does not necessarily mean love.
  18. Looks very lovely. Our autumn colours are not yet in full bloom like that.
  19. Typical of the media to have inject sex into everything and to make the assumption that a person who prefers to be single must have a lower sex drive. There are lots of married people who have low sex drives. As for a man's sex drive dipping...well, tell that to all the senior citizens who are contracting STDs because they think condoms are only to prevent pregnancy and since their partner is post-menopausal that is no longer an issue.
  20. Sometimes people react to grief by shutting out those who care. They just want to live in their own bubble and can't deal with anything else. Perhaps in his mind you represent the life that was, when his mother was around and now that his mother isn't around it hurts too much to live life the way it was so he wants to start over. The bottom line is that this is about him, not about anything you did or didn't do. This is about his own pain and ability or inability to cope. You did all the right things...he is just not in a frame of mind to appreciate it. That is not your fault. Just to prepare you, he may soon find someone else to be with...someone who doesn't represent the old life. Be strong and just move on with your life. There is nothing you could have done because this is all about his frame of mind. Maybe one day when he feels better he will come back..but don't wait for him. You need to move on with your life.
  21. The guy is a loser. I suspect he has always been inappropriate with other women in his life. This guy may be a sexpert, but he has no people skills and no relationship skills. This gift really should be the last nail in the coffin of this relationship. You are not appreciated by him, he doesn't do little things for you, he didn't deny that he is in it for sex..and then his birthday gift to you is a sex toy. You deserve to be considered as a person who has much more to offer than fun between the sheets.
  22. I hope this guy never decides to get married..he would make a lousy husband and a lousy father...for that matter he seems like a pretty lousy human being. He is not even friendship material. Yes, you should dump him and don't look back.
  23. That's basically someone's psychobabble buzz word which really means "the person is emotionally messed up, not relationship material and not worth losing sleep over". When someone really really wants to be with a person they don't "run scared", they stick around and don't let fears get in the way. People do exactly what they want to do...when someone walks away from a relationship that is exactly what they want to do...if they really wanted the relationship they wouldn't walk away, fear or no fear. It is best that you see her for who she really is and wash your hands of her. She may come back..but maybe by that time you will no longer be interested in someone who could just walk away from you like that.
  24. Sure there are indeed women who think like that...just like there are men who settle for the good girl next door who is not as sexually thrilling as the porn star type women they are used to dating. However, there are plenty of people who put sex into its proper perspective in a relationship and understand that porn star sex does not necessarily mean connection, love and compatibility. If a person assesses their self worth according to their sexual ability and how they compare to others, they are going to have an unhappy relationship because first and foremost they are unhappy within themself. A person who is truly in love with their partner is not going to give a damn about the sex they had with others....if they do give a damn that means they are not that into this relationship, and that is the bigger issue.
  25. I think there is too much emphasis on sex and physical appearance in the world and that is why everyone is so insecure. I never see threads on here from men or women who are concerned about whether or not their partner's ex's were smarter, kinder, more generous, more caring, more exciting, more fun to be around, more interesting, had more to talk about etc etc. The comparison is always about sex and physical appearance.
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