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Beyondthesea

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Everything posted by Beyondthesea

  1. Beyondthesea
    Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your father. In reality, it sounds like you are just squishing down your feelings and hoping they won't surface. That's a bad idea. What you should do is go to see a grief counselor. You really need to deal with this pent up anger and pain, before it turns into something else, like depression. The mind is a tricky thing, and it will try it's hardest to let those feelings out, even if it has to be in a different way.
  2. Beyondthesea
    Personally I think it's rather annoying that your partner got that upset over you trying to get to know him. I really hate it when you have to pry info out of someone else. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to say I sympathize.
  3. Beyondthesea
    I mean this in the nicest way possible. If she said she's afraid of you, something isn't right. You aren't all nicey nice and perfect the way you are making out you are. She's not afraid of you for nothing. That 'small temper' of yours must be a bit more out of hand than you realize. A counselor cannot divulge any personal information to anyone, let alone your employer. There's plenty that will see you on a cost based on the amount of money you make.
  4. Beyondthesea
    It seems pretty outlandish that you were served papers over a 'little argument.' Something must have happened that you aren't telling. I know lots of women who can't get the police to do anything about their situations, let alone get someone a criminal record over a 'little argument.'
  5. Beyondthesea
    I broke up with someone claiming they'd kill themself if I left. They are still out tormenting the next person. Break it off, then it's not your concern.
  6. Beyondthesea
    Having a temper that is bad enough that you punch walls and destroy property is a dangerous thing to have. You need counseling, regardless of how you have not hit anyone. Unfortunately, not dealing with these issues is what makes a person become abusive. Just because you haven't hit her doesn't mean that you are not abusive toward her. A lot of things you said in your post really hit home to me because I have been abused. You mention constantly what you have done for her, how you are always helping her, etc. Do you not think that she can look after herself? I say that with the utmost respect, I'm merely curious about what you think. I also noticed that she is very meek and in a bad situation at home...did you find it attractive to 'rescue' her? Hope you don't mind my questions, I'm really curious!
  7. Beyondthesea
    but what pulls me back is that he doesnt want a relationship Sorry, this guy is only using you for the sex until someone he wants a relationship with comes along. I'd cut the ties or else demand a commitment, then walk if he says no. I've seen a lot of women in your situation, and the man isn't remorseful at all because they mean it when they say they don't want a commitment. You are worth more than that. Walk.
  8. Beyondthesea
    I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't sleep in the same bed as me.
  9. Beyondthesea
    Why don't you agree to disconnect the internet? If he really loves you, he won't disagree. Certainly it would be hard but that's a way to ensure he's offline. Unfortunately I would leave him. While you're pregnant? That's far too much to handle.
  10. Beyondthesea
    Agreed completely. He's not your friend.
  11. Beyondthesea
    have been with emotionally and verbally abusive men who cared more about how much they could control me than about me - my previous boyfriend in particular - and this is nothing like that. Are you sure? I really have that nagging feeling this guy is not good for you. Being that inconsiderate that he didn't phone about surgery is break up material in my opinion.
  12. Beyondthesea
    I don't get it period. NC works best for people, but for fish I thought a juicy maggot would make their fishy girlfriend forgive them
  13. Beyondthesea
    Why don't you tell someone what you're going through? The best thing I ever did was spill the beans. People are more than willing to help if they know what's going on.
  14. Beyondthesea
    Exactly. He doesn't give a rat's tail about you. He just wants to control you, and by constantly making you think of him, he's doing that.
  15. Beyondthesea
    Like I said, I had no one. That's complete and utter emotional attachment. I told him to get out, he wouldn't. I moved out instead, and shortly after he left. I would not answer any phone calls, emails, or him showing up anywhere. I changed my personal information and refused to see him, period. I started going out into groups of people *taking dance and art classes* and then making friends that way. I learned to be happy alone, and that is the most important thing.
  16. Beyondthesea
    It is weird to describe, but I have trouble dealing with people who treat me well and respect me. I stay with my best friend because he constant orders me around, denigrates me, etc. I dont know how to trust people. I dont even really know who I am inside me. I am the same way. You put it down perfectly. Because I didn't know who I am inside, I let him dictate what he thought I should be. I did whatever he wanted, smiled and nodded through all sorts of unnatural demands, and let him abuse me because I didn't know I deserved better. No one here said it will be easy to walk away. In fact, it will be the hardest thing you've ever done. However, you clearly realize it's for the best, and freedom is something worth fighting for. This is relationship addiction. You are addicted to the highs and lows of the relationship. Do you go to counseling? That will really help you right now, and in the future. I completely sympathize with how hard it will be to walk. I was with my ex for 7 years, and lived with him most of that time. I had no one else, no friends and my family didn't support me. So how did I do it? I just walked. I decided I love myself more, and it took a long time to get to that point. I have inspirational notes in my purse, on my desktop at work, in all my signatures, on my mirrors....I made sure to boost myself up so I wouldn't go back again. It's not easy. It was very difficult, but I needed to be free. And if I knew then what I know now, I would have walked after 6 months.
  17. Beyondthesea
    Rachel, you are doing really well. Just be sure to avoid all contact with him and don't bother seeing 'how he's doing.' You know full well who he is inside, but are holding on to the hope that he is 'good inside' and will regret his actions. I can sadly guarantee that is not true But you have us, your friends, family, God, and most importantly, FREEDOM. Love and prayers for you
  18. Beyondthesea
    RW, I just wanted to say why I'm so 'gruff' in my replies to you is because I feel for you so badly, I think about it often. I can't stand the thought of someone so wonderful and good being so attacked by someone who is not. Why? Probably because I was so badly broken down as well. You are so sweet, good and kind to others. Do you not think you deserve that in return? Do you not deserve to have fun, good friends who love you for you and not what you give them? You may have a hard time getting rid of this loser. I really believe you'll end up having to change your phone number and email addresses to cut contact. He IS someone abusive, and you are under his grasp so well, why on Earth would he let you go without a fight? Be prepared for the freedom fight.
  19. Beyondthesea
    I read about couples that have a great relationship, and have unconditional love. Is that true? Have any of you really found unconditional love? I definitely do, and if you aren't feeling that, there's something not right within the relationship. what stops another girl from coming along? This is why I would never stay with someone who has cheated. If they do it once and get caught, it probably will happen all over again. Keep posting, we'll help you sort through your thoughts.
  20. Beyondthesea
    I would not say he is an abuser either though, because he stopped hitting me after he found his bf (so the hitting hasn’t occurred in over 7 years). Just because he doesn't hit you doesn't mean he's not emotionally abusive to you. You are terrified of making an error, are walking on eggshells etc. It's obvious he's abusive to you. I 'missed' my ex treating me badly, but I made sure to write down the reasons we were broken up. You are looking for a deep attachment is what the problem is, and you've associated your friend's treatment of you as that attachment you are so afraid of losing. The only way to get through this is to be stern with yourself. "I am not talking to him anymore because I feel badly about myself. I am not the same person anymore. I am too dependent on him to the point where I have no outside life. He has interferred in my life in a severely negative way." Sorry there's no quick answer. You just have to take the plunge and be strong. It's hard, but mucho worth it.
  21. Beyondthesea
    I am so sorry this happened. Firstly, you will feel different in time with regards to your baby. He/she will be such an important part of YOUR life and you won't think of the baby as a connection to him...at least not in any important way. Thursday is a bit away, but you are doing your best, so good for you. I would consider calling a crisis line in your situation and making sure you have lots of support right now. You WILL be alright. Good for you for standing your ground and telling him to get out.
  22. Beyondthesea
    Yes, if it's 'internal blood' your stool would be very black. Bright red means hemroids or intestinal lesions. Don't worry friend, but do get checked over
  23. Beyondthesea
    Friend, you really need to be checked over before you jump to that kind of conclusion. A growth near your anus could even be a hemmroid. I have one on the outside, and it's nothing to worry about. It bleeds, etc. HOWEVER, you must go get looked at to be safe. Why let yourself worry any longer? Go and get checked, and I'm quite sure you'll find out that you are alright. If there's blood in your stool, it could be a number of things. You could even have an intestinal ulcer that is bleeding. I am quite sure that at your age and if you have not smoked, and there's no huge history of cancer in your family that you are not as ill as you have decided you are Go and be checked over, and trust in God. You will receive if you ask in faith HUGS AND LOVE
  24. Beyondthesea
    You don't have to worry, but it sounds like you really need to see a counselor from all these unresolved issues. Your mind is telling you that things need to be dealt with instead of pushed to the side. And we all have stupid dreams. Trust me, I've dreamed some absolutely horrific and sick things and how do I deal? It's just a dream, nothing more.
  25. Beyondthesea
    You don't need to go to parties to meet people. Why aren't you involved with something you enjoy...hmmm...like....poems You should join a writing class, be in a study group, or do something hiliarious like dance lessons! I know you say you're shy, but being shy has nothing to do with not doing things that you would find fun
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