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Beyondthesea

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Everything posted by Beyondthesea

  1. Beyondthesea
    Lizzy I'm so glad, I was really concerned about you. Now remember the drill. He'll be bothering you soon, trying to convince you that it's all your fault, and manipulating you with emails, texts, phone calls, etc. Believe none of it, and refuse to speak to him. I'm so proud of you for walking. This was a hard lesson for you, but you will be alright. BIG HUGS.
  2. Beyondthesea
    Be sure that when you are done your antibiotics that you go back and get your urine and blood tested again. If it isn't completely clear, your infection will be immune to those antibiotics from now on.
  3. Beyondthesea
    Good for you girl, I'm so happy that things turned out alright. I can't even imagine the amount of stress you have been through as of late worrying about everything. We're always here to listen. HUGS!
  4. Beyondthesea
    This is a different guy? Wow. Honey, if that's the case, you probably need to go to counseling. You are attracted to/are attracting really negative men. Your self-esteem must be very low. My fiance has never called me a name, and we have never screamed at one another, ever.
  5. Beyondthesea
    And Lizzy, you worked awfully hard to stay away from this LOSER before, how on earth did you manage to get back with him? You know this will never change, you know he's useless, you know he will never be what you want or need, so why do you continue trying to draw blood out of a stone? LEAVE HIM!
  6. Beyondthesea
    Is this something to leave him over? Is this rage and explosive temper justified even in anger. TIME TO LEAVE! Can't emphasize this enough! You are being abused honey! link removed go to "articles" then read "Identifying losers in relationships." Nothing you do or don't do, say or don't say, or any way you are or are not will EVER make him be good to you. Read that article then start preparing for freedom. LOVE.
  7. Beyondthesea
    Honey, how did it go? Remember, someone like that is NOT your friend, let alone your best one. I often feel the same, that I give out way more than I get from people. But don't despair, there are many other people looking for true friends.
  8. Beyondthesea
    What do you feel your ex's or current gf/bf would say if they posted here. He would say "My ex was psycho and it's all her fault we broke up. It's all her fault I abused her because she wouldn't do what I wanted her to do. It's all my family's fault I abused her because they abused me. It's all someone else's fault." Yep, that sums it up.
  9. Beyondthesea
    But, I was so happy when we were truly together. She is a comfort zone, I know her so well. She was so full of love, she had so much to give me. Dude, exactly. She is your COMFORT ZONE. Going out of that is hard. Truly, you don't need this in your life, and keep your head held high. The one for you is looking for you too you know. Eventually you'll find her.
  10. Beyondthesea
    what he is waiting for is 1) hard to define and 2) likely may never occur. And so he will not wait for that anymore. At least he realizes that.
  11. Beyondthesea
    Does anyone else find that after anal sex they really have the urge to empty their bowels a lot that day? This may sound rude and gross, so I'm sorry....but I used to be someone who was always constipated. However, whenever I have anal sex that is cleared up in a hurry. Two benefits for the price of one! (Sorry, can't help it!) Is this a normal reaction? Oh and btw, does anyone know of any real risks associated with anal sex? We are very careful not to tear anything (not rough) and use a lot of lubrication. In that case, is it safe? We've also both been tested for all STD's.
  12. Beyondthesea
    Sorry what I meant to say, is that I expect he will look at other women. However, I also expect that he won't make it really very obvious. If he glances at a woman up and down when he's out with me, I think that's rude.
  13. Beyondthesea
    It's normal to look, but not where it's blatantly obvious to you. My fiance can look at as many women as he wants, I could care less. However, when I catch him doing it, I make it known it's not appreciated.
  14. Beyondthesea
    I am hesitent on calling a therapist tho. I dont really know what they will be able to do for him. He is young and I am not sure he even understands what is going on. I can literally guarantee that they can help him. You would be very surprised what a trained therapist can do for a child, or anyone. Child psychologists/therapists/counselors are trained to deal with children who are about 3 years old and up. They make them express feelings with drawings, etc. Children are still very 'subconscious' creatures and do things without realizing that it shows their feelings. EX: "Draw a picture of a time you were really hurt or angry." "Draw a picture of your family." "Let's play a game where you're the daddy and I am you, and let's just talk for a while." Although to us we would say "Oh doc, I so know where you're going with this," children aren't like that. They play along and don't hold back. Give it a whirl. what would it hurt to have a preliminary assessment done on him?
  15. Beyondthesea
    People think I'm settling by waiting, but I'm not. I'd be settling if I decided to be with someone else. Well if that's the case, then wait. But I certainly wouldn't expect any miracles hon, he doesn't sound like he's ready. If he's really the one for you, you'll know sooner than later I hope~
  16. Beyondthesea
    Kidney infections are really nothing to fiddle with. Left untreated, it can lead to kidney failure! I too would take a trip to the ER now. If antibiotics haven't cleared it up at this point, it's time to be checked over pronto. New antibiotics or not, that doc of yours should have sent you to see a urologist.
  17. Beyondthesea
    Psychologist in my opinion. Psychiatrists are doctors, they just want to give you drugs.
  18. Beyondthesea
    He's like that because he's a jerk. Refuse all his phone calls, emails, etc. Do not answer the phone, do not approach him or email him, nothing. If he bothers you a lot, email him ONCE and tell him "Do not contact me again. Whatever we had is gone, our relationship is over." Or something along those lines.
  19. Beyondthesea
    I know I'm wasting my time with this guy and I should go back into no contact, but I'm so grumpy and sad right now This is exactly it. You are wasting your time with this guy. Why are you so desperate to be with someone who doesn't care about you honey? You are worth much more than that. You can only 'put your back into it' for so long before you get a backache. You really don't need this guy in your life. His non-chalont attitude about you and the relationship shows he isn't someone you want to be with now or ever.
  20. Beyondthesea
    I'm so sorry you're hurting, but glad to hear he's your ex. He's just not a good person.
  21. Beyondthesea
    You should sign an agreement saying what's yours is yours, what's his is his and if the relationship should end, what you come in with is what you walk out with.
  22. Beyondthesea
    If his problem isn't an addiction by all means I'm out Sorry but I can pretty much guarantee this isn't an addiction. I also take psychology and have taken abnormal psych. If he actually was addicted, he would have cheated probably 20 times since then. Someone who is addicted just cannot control themselves in the best of situations. I really believe what is wrong is that he's a cheater, plain and simple. You staying with him and making excuses for staying together isn't making him change. I truly believe that it's time for you to move on. You are only 20 years old, and already having this severe of relationship problems? Forget it! What will it be like 5 years from now? Not worth it.
  23. Beyondthesea
    If you have read any of my previous posts you know that I am a single mom and that his father doesn't have much to do with him at all. I dont know if tha is part of the problem or not. I would assume this is the problem. A counselor can do a LOT for a 5 year old actually, and you may be very surprised what he would tell someone else about how he is feeling. Interestingly enough, children really 'sit on their emotions' especially if they are angry inside. This leads to all sorts of negative behavior, because they don't know how to vent their frustration, hurt and anger. He simply doesn't know how to deal with the feelings he is having, and is acting out because of that IMO. Do you find that you hold in your feelings about things? Do you ever discuss your feelings about things with him, or do you 'squish them down' and not talk about them? I found it interesting that he only acts out when you are not around, and perhaps that's why? Truly, consult a counselor. There are many child psychologists/counselors who can assess if your son is having an emotional reaction or a chemical imbalance. Either way he is completely treatable, and it's good advice to have him looked at sooner than later. Overall, pure speculation on my part. I have taken psychology and was very interested in children. Let us know what you decide to do.
  24. Beyondthesea
    I'm sorry that you are feeling so rejected. Truly though, I don't think it's a rebound. A rebound means you start dating someone to forget the other person IMO. He just moved on faster than you I think, and why? No one knows. I'm sorry you are hurting so much. "Get over it" is harsh advice, I'm sorry if I came accross that way. I have been in your shoes before, and can honestly say it wasn't that easy. However, what I should have said is more along these lines. You see that he has moved on, and it hurts. But you should take that as a sign that it's time for you to work within yourself, resolve the unresolved feelings you have that things will work out, and spend time comforting yourself enough that you realize you can move on. You did nothing wrong, the relationship just wasn't meant to work out. Spend time with yourself, trying to remember what you used to be like 'before your ex.' Spend time with friends and family, and remind yourself why you two broke up in the first place. Don't 'squish down' your feelings about the situation any longer, it's time to express them. Write, journal, go to a counselor or support group, and talk to others about how you're feeling. It will be alright, and you are not 'abnormal' for feeling this way.
  25. Beyondthesea
    Honestly I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My advice: your gut instinct is telling you something...what is it? That's the advice you should listen to above everyone else's.
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