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About Me

  1. No one in this world loves me. I'm not close to my moms family and I live my life alone with no family around me. I got in contact with my estranged father after 20 years of no contact and found out that he has a 10 year old daughter. I made a mistake and looked him up on Facebook and his daughter is extremely beautiful. There are so many pictures of them out and about doing things and I developed this toxic jealousy against her and I feel terrible about it. I'm realizing he will never love me as much as he loves her. She's his little girl. Not me. He doesn't even know me. He attempts to message me almost every day but its normally just small talk. I want this relationship to work out but I struggle with the fact that he is very capable of living life without me. He did it for 20 years. What should I do about this?
  2. Hi. I am 24 years old. I'm about to go out on a date (First Date) with a woman which in my view is so beautiful and everytime I see her I get this feeling in my stomach and when she smiles at me I melt like a snowman in the middle of summer She is a single mother. Her daughter is 9 years old and she looks exactly like her mother. She's so cute and If eveything works out I plan to involve her in everything I do with her mother. My date is "about" 25-26 years old. She could surprise me though but I dont care about that at all. She speaks only in french, thank god I'm bilingual. Je parle en francais aussi. I got that english to french accent going too. Anyways, """""***I looking for some advice, date tips, on flowers. Roses, colors too show her I like her and I mean it, I'm serious, and that I'm not playing a game and I'm no player.*****" I could seriously fall in love with this girl If Im not carefull. See, the reason I say "carefull" is that I've been hurt in the past and I really want to avoid it. I've been single for 4 years. Well Since I moved here to Sherbrooke QC Canada. I used to live in Niagara Falls ONT but lost my job and wanted to start fresh somewhere's else. I have a GREAT job here, everything is on the up and up, and now I meet this lovely woman. Can someone help me? Any single mother's out there? When I asked her on this date, I left a note on her car because she was working and I didn't want to make her feel unconfortable, and I wrote " I would really like to take you and your daughter out sometime, because I would realllllly like to get to know you better, start off as friends and see where it goes. " The day after she came too me, (we work together but not on the same team), and said she would love too but her daughter will be babysat. I knew she would say that, it didn't surprise me, but I thought it would be nice to show her Im willing to accept her daughter. As she told me she got all red, a little shy and smiled at me with her beautiful big green eyes and she made me melt again Now I need to call her, because I want to pay for her babysitter, because she needs her money to take care of herself and her daughter...what do you think? Ok, I'll stop rambling on and on Please oh please help me out.. Thank you.
  3. Hello all, just wanted to shed some light on a situation I've dealt with first hand! I know there are a lot of people in a situation where they find themselves pregnant, and are not sure what they want or can do in life at that point. I am not "pro-abortion" and I am not "anti-abortion", I just believe that in many cases (definitely not all), it is used as an easy way out. I would like to mention some wonderful points of adoption as a possibility, provided that you can carry the baby for the full term... I was born to a single mother of 17 years old. She originally wanted to raise me herself, and abortion never crossed her mind (obviously, I'm here...). As the pregnancy carried on, she started to look at other young, single parents who were having financial and social trouble due to their child. After seeing a counselor about this, and meeting with others, she eventually decided that adoption was the appropriate route for her, and for me. I want to bring out the fact that I have had a wonderful life because of this... and the fact that I am truly glad I had a life at all! I was adopted to two of the most loving parents anyone could ask for, who were financially stable, and just stable in life altogether. If my birth mother had decided to raise me, niether of us would have had nearly as good of lives as we have had. 20 years later (2 years ago), we connected through a website (I believe it was link removed, or something along those lines). I had never known her, and had never actually known any blood relative at all, so this was quite an experience for me! We have since spent very much time together, and we see eachother usually one weekend a month (it's a 4 hour drive). She has come and stayed with my adopted family, and everyone has a great relationship between the families! I go and stay a weekend with her and my two sisters (an added bonus) now and then as well, and everyone from that family is just as wonderful as I could have hoped for! The greatest part, you ask? She can't tell me what to do! No, seriously... we are like best friends, we go out drinkin' and stay up late talking about life, it's really a great friendship with a special bond, different than a "parent-child" situation. I just wanted to shed some light on adoption, many people don't hear positive stories, but I think it is a wonderful thing, and support it with all my heart! There are so many loving parents waiting to adopt a child, and the waiting lists are tremedously long... If this is a possible solution for anyone, I urge you to look into it further! Any other stories out there? I'd love to hear some! Thanks! S.A.M.
  4. First post on this site! :) I am seeking advice on my current relationship situation ... A little background on my situation: I'm a 37 yr old single female (never married, no kids) and I have been in a relationship with a 41 year old single dad with a 6 year old daughter for about 14 months now. This is my first relationship with someone that has been divorced and with a child, so everything has been quite a learning experience for me! I decided to give the relationship a chance since he is a really good, mature and responsible guy, and I figured that if I want to date someone close to my age, it may be tough to find someone who is not divorced and/or don't have children. He has shared custody with his ex, so the daughter split her time between the two parents. I knew from the get-go that dating a single dad would mean that I will need to accept the fact that he will always put his child before me, and I will also need to accept the fact that the ex will also be in the picture. I was prepared for that and knew what I was getting myself into. I usually see him on nights or weekends when he doesn't have his daughter. He introduced me to his daughter (and ex) about 8 months into our relationship - and since then, I have hang out with them together maybe a handful of times and also gone through a few trips together. I think his daughter likes me and feels comfortable with me being around them. She is a good kid, but sometimes she does have her moments and will not listen and throw tantrums. I also think he gives in way too easily and lets her get away with things - BUT, it's not my place so I take a backseat and let him handle the situation. Aside from that, I think for the most part, things are going well. There are some things that bothers me about him though - one being that he talks about his ex quite frequently - sometimes it's related to the daughter which is totally understandable, but other times, it would be about the things about her personally or memories of something that they have done in the past - which I really don't think I want to know about? (am I being unreasonable here?). I have expressed to him that when he does that, it bothers me and he has tried to stop that but I think he subconsciously just do it without even realizing it, ugh. I have asked him if he is 100% over his ex and he has assured me again and again that he is but I still have my doubts. Also, sometimes I question myself whether or not I can actually go through with this because I have gotten so used to having the freedom of planning things freely and being able to do something impromptu, but now it's a bit tough with the daughter in the picture. And lastly, his ex seems a bit difficult to deal with. She's a bit immature and sometimes make things very difficult on purpose. She has been cordial with me but I definitely do not think she is a good person and is always looking to take advantage of him, and he does give in to her quite easily. So with all that being said - I think I'd like to be with him and just looking for some words of advice on how I can better deal with this situation and make things better and just overall getting some words of encouragement! Sorry for the long post ... and thank you for listening :)
  5. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 8 months now and every time I offer to help her with something she always ends up doing it herself. It kind of annoys me because I am her boyfriend and I don’t understand why she always tries to play the strong independent woman. She is a single mother of a three year old daughter and from what she’s told me she’s learned to do things on her own without help due to her past relationships being lousy and with her having trust issues. Just yesterday she was telling me how she had to move her packed items item her new place, and I told her, “if you need help, let me know and I’ll help you babe.” And with that, all she said was “okay babe, I’ll let you know,” only to find out from her that she still moved everything on her own. Is this something I should be concerned about?
  6. I'm a 43 year old woman who is just over 5 weeks pregnant. My partner does not want this child. I have no children. If I have the child then my 11 year old relationship will be over. My partner will have to remortgage and buy me out of the house. I'll be a single mother with no support system where I live. I'll have to move back to my place of birth and be around my family who have problems and affect my mental health. If I have a medical abortion then the problem is solved EXCEPT I want this baby and I don't know if I can live with the regret of having an abortion. If I have the baby, I don't know if I can live with the regret of losing my partner. This is the worst situation I've ever been in. I keep living on hope that my partner will change his mind, but he's been very clear that he does not want to be a parent. He values his freedom. He is clear he will not change his mind. I've even thought about having the baby, buying a place near my partner and waiting to see if he will change his mind eventually, but I don't think I could cope alone as a single parent with zero support. He isn't forcing me into an abortion. He says it has to be my decision. I just can't decide though because I want both the baby and him:upset:
  7. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for almost 8 months. We live about 3 hours from one another. He’s a great man, has a teen daughter that lives at home and he has a great career. In the beginning the honeymoon phase was fantastic. It was so overwhelmingly perfect as we learned one another. But then a few months in, his daughter moved in with him and ever since he has been overwhelmed with being a single parent. I am also a single parent. My child is 15 and his is 17. He seems to coddle her and everything is about her all the time. If it’s not his work he is complaining about it’s about her. I am happy he’s an attentive father but sometimes it feels like since she’s moved in he really doesn’t have time to make me a priority anymore. Most of the thoughtful texts have gone away and the nightly phone calls seem forced on him. I am only assuming but when i ask him he says to just love him and he always denies any non interest. I wish I could stop feeling this way but it lingers. Of course there are several things that have emerged since our honeymoon phase has dwindled and I realize i am a very active person whereas he’s simple and satisfied with merely spending his weekends on the sofa watching movies. Whenever I text him now I always get a response but it’s nothnng like it use to be. It’s always very matter of fact or that he’s busy and it hurts me that he doesn’t give what I truly need. Is this a man thing or am I overreacting. I’ve been very supportive of his new life and transition but I’m getting burned out playing second fiddle. I’ve told him how I feel and I only get told he’s doing His best so that makes me feel bad for even mentioning it. Im not jealous of his daughter but don’t feel the balance between his daughter and me. I am independent and confident so I know i would be alright moving on but something keeps me here and i want to believe it’s a hope of change and because i know i love him. Is it just time for me to cut my losses and move on or is there hope? Help!!!!
  8. Hey guys I'm a single parent of an 8 year old in a new 3 month relationship with a man who has limited experience in relationships. He asked if I could be with him on new years because it's important to be together. I said I would if I could find a babysitter. I haven't been able to and told him I would have to be at home but hes welcome to join me. He said he would be going to a bonfire with friends instead. I feel hurt and ditched. I told him I felt that way but he didn't have much of a response. I would like some perspective as I've never had a situation like this before. I really was starting to like this guy and it's thrown me off. Maybe your opinion will calm me down. I've been depressed lately and I don't want to over react.
  9. I think, that when two people are in a relationship, that they should be focused on making the other person feel good. Right or wrong? When someone communicates their needs, the other person should try to meet those needs. Right or wrong? Please answer those two first, then consider the following. When I'm sick or not feeling well, he gets mad that I am not being nice to him. I don't mistreat him. I'm just less responsive. In a healthy relationship, shouldn't he be trying to make me feel better instead of making the issue about him? It's frustrating to me - because that's when I need him to help me and be there for me. Instead, I feel like I'm being attacked when I need help. The entire conversation is always about me not being as attentive as I should be. So, I already feel bad because I'm sick, then I have to defend feeling bad. Then, I'm a little angry that I'm the one who was sick and needed help, and then it somehow becomes all about him. I've communicated that several times. It always ends up in a fight that was my fault for bringing the issue up. I've said "I want to do everything you want, and give you everything you need." "I want to be treated well in return." We still wind up a few paragraphs above. What do you make of that? Also, I come from two happily married parents. He comes from a single parent home with a bad relationship with his mother. Does that make a difference? Advice? I want it to work.
  10. I am so depressed. I feel like I wish I was dead sometimes just so that i can stop this neverending pain. Everytime I feel like I'm going to be okay, something else happens and at this point, i've given up on happiness. I go through my daily routine only because I have a daughter that I need to raise. On the outside, people would think I have it together....my own place, car, good job, single parent and I'm putting myself through school. Only thing is, I feel like an empty shell inside. My mother betrayed my by taking her husbands' side after he molested me. My siblings also turned their backs on my b/c that's their father and he told them I lied about what happened. I moved 3,000 miles away only to fall in love with a man that left as soon as I got pregnant. I'm in a state where I have no family or friends to confide in so I've turned here. Someone, anyone, how do you get out of this black hole once you've crawled into it so deeply?
  11. Hi. This is my first post. I am a single mom of two, one each. My son has said/done some things to indicate that he may be attracted to boys. For instantance, last night while watching a movie with a boys locker room scene, he said "I want to watch this again just to see the boys in the locker room" and then immediately said "nevermind"! I think it's ok, but everytime I ask him to talk about it, he says the same thing. How do I get him to trust that I will accept ANYTHING he does in life? I am ok with it, but don't really know how to get that point accross to him and don't want to be too pushy or lead him in one direction or another. I want to raise an independent, happy man!
  12. I had this idea (well got it from elsewhere really) to get a rose, and put it under the windscreen wiper of her car, in the middle of the night, so she would discover it in the morning. However after I bought the roses I started to have second thoughts... The more I thought about it the riskier it seemed. Think about it for a second before reading on. (What would your reaction be?) Allow me to explain: We are going out together a few weeks, but we don't live together. I'm nearly positive she wouldn't see it as a stupid cliche (I'm not even sure it is a cliche), but she might see it as a bit of a violation of her home. I wouldn't be breaking and entering or anything, there isn't even a gate to open, but I am thinking maybe the idea of anyone sneaking around her house in the middle of the night might seem a bit scary or disturbing even if it's just to leave a rose. It means I have to walk into her driveway and up to beside her house. Furthermore she's a single mother, living in her house on her own with her kid, so she might feel a bit vulnerable. So what do you women think? Any quick replies would be great as it is in the next half hour I planned to do it. (I am meeting her tomorrow night and I may be a bit behind on my romantic gestures, so I want to do it before then if at all).
  13. Hi all I just want to know if it will get easier? Let me explain......I am a single mother of a 13 year old active son. He is my world but by this I mean my life revolves around his and always has. His dad took off when I was pregnant and was never heard from again so when I say I'm a single parent, I mean it. I have always been driven to give him the life that every child wants.....I have gone from busting my butt at 2 jobs while trying to finish school to landing a great job that allows me to be home in time for dinner and weekends. My problem now is this....after dinner I seem to be constantly running him to a whatever sport it is that he is playing for the season, or picking him up or droping him off at a friends house. The house work never gets done in the evenings for by the time I am able to think about sitting down it is time for me to get to bed. I spend the weekends trying to catch up on laundry, grocery shopping and housework. I never have time to just sit and relax. My son helps out as much as he can....between homework, chores and sporting activities. I just feel so guilty that we don't do anything fun together for there is no time. My friends get frusterated with me cuz I have no time to do anything.......I feel completely burnt out. How can I make time for me to be me......hell I am only 28 yrs old but I feel like I'm 40. I haven't even been on a date in 2 years. Can anyone tell me how to balance my life that will benefit both my son and myself???? Thanks
  14. I dont really know if this is the correct place to put this but I have to vent. Do single men not realize that when they date or sleep with or flirt or whatever they do with a single mom they are involved with her child also?? How can you have sex with a single mom and then tell her that the relationship cannot go anywhere because he doesnt like children?? I dont understand that at all!! I am so confused and ticked off right now I could scream!!!
  15. At my age, I understand that a lot of people are divorced with kids, so I'm trying to be open to dating a single dad. I was matched on eharmomy with a 38-year-old divorced single dad of a six-year-old boy. For my match settings, I select that I don't want to be matched with anyone who has children under the age of 18 living at home full time. I'm not allowed the option of selecting to be matched only with others in my age range (32 to 43- how I set it) who have never been married, or at least have never had children. Most single dads have kids who are living with the ex-wife. I get matched from time to time with single dads and I always close their accounts first. This particular match did not tell me until our first phone call that he was divorced and had a child. I've never dated anyone with a child before. I have nothing against kids. I want one of my own. I just have a very difficult time with the whole idea of supporting a first family (it's his obligation not mine if that makes sense). Maybe that sounds mean, but it's how I feel. I've worked really hard for what I have, and it does bother me to think that I can't enter a marriage fully and share what I have with my husband and he shares what he has with me, because he already has a first family. I know that his first priority will always be his first family. I really don't know how to date someone who has a child. I don't know if I want to help raise another woman's child while I have my own kids. It's the exwife I really don't want to deal with. I know that she lives near him. I'd like to at least meet him and find out more about his divorce and his arrangements with his exwife, whether or not she's remarried, etc. How do I tactfully ask him questions at our first meeting about his divorce? I want to know when and why his marriage ended, what his relationship is now like with his ex and child, and whether he's open to the possibility of marriage and kids in the future. How do I broach the subject without sounding like I'm grilling him? This is very important to me to find out the details early.
  16. In an effort to find out where the problem of shyness originates from, I have come to the conclusion that: (1) there is a strong corelation between whether you were brought up by a single mother, a single father, or both parents. Those who were raised by a single mother tend to be the shy ones while those raised by both parents can be either shy or extroverted depending on which parent had more influence on them. (2) shyness is related to how possessive the parent was during the child's formative years i.e. whether or not the child was allowed to go out and play with other toddlers/kids or kept inside all the time. (3) a dominant older brother/sister who is opinionated, arrogant and loves to have the last say could also cause the younger siblings to become withdrawn and grow up to be shy and introverted. Edit: do to the overwhelming number of people who have stated this, I will also add (4) parents not having friends (i.e also shy), can unwittingly school their children to be shy. (5) a physically/sexually abusive parent can totally erode a child's confidence and make them shy. So shy guys (and girls) share your experiences and your thoughts on this one!
  17. So a bit of background, we met on a dating site 3 months ago - although we had been "say hi to" acquaintances years previously. We're both in our early 40s and live about an hours drive away. We have WhatsApp'd each other a lot every day since meeting , sharing a lot of thoughts, dreams and gotten pretty deep. Having said that we have only met up 3 times, she struggles to find time with her 9 year old girl and (I think) takes too much looking after friend's children - often she gets exasperated at having little free time to herself. The kid's father has spoked the wheel a few times by cancelling the daughter staying with him at last minute (he has form in that area going back years) . Anyway it came to a bit of a head last weekend when he did that again and she said she just doesn't know if she can find time for a relationship and that I should "keep my options open". I replied that I felt a little hurt by the last comment but totally understand it was said with good intentions. I also said that I'd found it difficult to process as a week previously she'd opened up a fair bit (something she had been pretty guarded about previously) about future plans with me - and so I'd felt safe to open up myself with possibilities too. She replied with that she did wonder if her message sounded glib and was really sorry to have hurt my feelings, but appreciated the honesty and was consistent with the way we communicated. She also said she was taking a step back because her life feels somewhat out of balance and actively seeking to address it and that she does feel ashamed that she hasn't achieved more and it does get in the way of her overall sense of well-being. She also commented that her fear was, *qu, ote* "(genuinely unbeknownst to me before starting dating again)" with the little time she has, how can she find time to pursue the things she's neglected, AND to find the time and space needed to be with somebody...and while this is a question it doesn't feel fair to pursue anything. I really haven't pushed her to meet up, have been very understanding previously with last minute cancellations (which has been acknowledged) and we're both v independent people and have both said we like the fact we live it different cities. Am more happy to give her some headspace for a few weeks and contact again, but, for me own wellbeing just don't know if she really likes me but is struggling to find time or a more cynical voice that she's just not interested in taking it further but is afraid to say it - she does come accross as a bit of a people pleaser. Am feeling a bit gutted to be honest as I've felt a real connection and emotional investment.
  18. Im a single mother of one son(27) who's been dating a single father of one son (28) for a year and a half. He was very guarded when we started dating because of his relationship with his son's mother. I am genuinely oppotomistic (and attractive) but I still have a hard time finding people to date. I continue to date him because he is intelligent, handsome, christian like myself, hardworking and a good father. All things that I personally prefer in my mates. We both have similar values and enjoy each others company. We fight about one to two times about every 60 days. Its not that often but when we do its a nightmare we both just feel like walking away. We both can be sensitive and somewhat obstinant about what we want. Our typical fight begins: A. One of us is in a selfish mood and expect something (even in a blissful time of affection and fun stuff) from the other person and insist that were not getting what is right. B. So we'll do something to hurt the other person (moodiness, barking, refusal of affections). C. The other person being hurt does the same kind of behavioral thing. D. We don't speak E. He usually insists that he is too annoyed to deal with anything because I should be more clear about what it is that was bothering me in the first place (even if he started it) F. We don't speak G. I break down and apologize for things I recognize that may be wrong about a few things H. He doesn't speak. I. He refutes anything I suggest was an issue with "you should have said this when you had the problem in the first place. J. I usually try to sensitively dismiss that as not being the issue and continue to beg. K. We drop the issue altogether and eventually become friendlier again. He never apologizes for anything but whatever I complained about (if I was the one who was annoyed) he stops doing. I like that he trys to work on things but resent that he never apologizes. Lots of not talking, lots of blaming, lots of dismissals and eventually unresolved issues and ignorance. What can I do so that we communicate better during disagreements?
  19. I have lived with my bf for several years now and we have children together. He tells me we are in a "committed" relationship the he is comfortable with. I told him I feel like a single mother. He tells me he wants to marry me yet won't really discuss it. I don't think he will ever marry me. Here is my question....I went to his office today and on his desk were two pictures of him and his mother. Not one picture of him and me. I thought this was weird and creepy, and further shows me that I am not someone he wants to marry. Shouldn't he have a pic of us or me on his desk? Am I being too sesitive or is this really weird?!!
  20. hi im a single mom of a 2 yr old son. I have been soley raising him and i have met the man of my dreams...hes a great boyfriend and hes great wiht my son..he plays with him and diciplines him...but my son doesnt seem to be warming up to him he acts like he doesnt like sean and wont go with him..he just wants me.....if anyone could give us some advice on why hes doing this and how long it will last or even just soem tips on how to make this an easier transtion for him thanxs everyone
  21. I asked a woman at work out. My method was discreet, I didn't want to make her unconfortable, so I left a note on her car and crossed my fingers that I wont make a fool of myself She is a single mother, 28 yrs old, with a daughter that nine. She's beautiful just like her mother, the look so much alike its cute. I'm 24 turning 25 in March. Two days after I left her the note, she called me and accepted. We went out last night, and it was a great success, I think we really impressed each other, and she told me she would call me back soon to go out again, but she wants to take me out somewhere. I told during the date that I wanted to really get to know her, be a friend to her for now, that If she ever needs to talk or needs help, to call me anytime, I'll be there for her. She reallllly loved that and I when I said she knew I meant it. She laid her head on my shoulder and looked in my eyes and gave me this incredible smile afterwards. Can anyone say butterflies? I also gave a one single BLUE rose, it's a millennium rose for new beginnings, but she didn't want to open it there, she wanted to wait till she got home. I bet you she was surprised to find a blue rose, i think she was expecting a red one It's just my way of showing her I want to take it a day at time, slowly. One things for sure, I can see myself falling for this woman big time, but Im being careful. Since it is DECEMBER now, I figure with courage, care and patience, everything will work out great, and by FEBRUARY (Valentine's), I can send her some red roses to show how I really feel. She'll be working too that day. Can anyone give me advice on this? What do you think? Is it too fast or not? Any comment would be greatly apreciated. Now I'm thinking about New Years, doing something with her again. Is it too fast to do so? Have a beautiful Xmas and a Great New Year everyone. Paul
  23. i feel so sick it is unreal,i have actually given up going to the bathroom and am now resorting to making it to the black bag!I was fine uptil about four days ago then the sickness started.I wish i had been able to afford to go private as this could have been dealt with over a week ago.but thank god for the nhs.I feel so sick.i dont do prgnancy well seriously i looked like i had hiv with my last that is how sick i looked.i am also now unable to eat and have accepted that my appetite is on holiday.my poor daughter is literally having to provide her own entertainment as i am incapable.oh the woes of single parenting! feeling sick again so i'll post this and write some more in a moment.i can't wait till the weekend...............
  24. Hi there. I have been sober for 18 months, and am an active member of AA. Unfortunately, work and single parenting do not always allow me to get out to a meeting, thus this online plea. I would love to hear from others who are recovering like myself. Thanks for listening.
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