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  1. No one in this world loves me. I'm not close to my moms family and I live my life alone with no family around me. I got in contact with my estranged father after 20 years of no contact and found out that he has a 10 year old daughter. I made a mistake and looked him up on Facebook and his daughter is extremely beautiful. There are so many pictures of them out and about doing things and I developed this toxic jealousy against her and I feel terrible about it. I'm realizing he will never love me as much as he loves her. She's his little girl. Not me. He doesn't even know me. He attempts to message me almost every day but its normally just small talk. I want this relationship to work out but I struggle with the fact that he is very capable of living life without me. He did it for 20 years. What should I do about this?
  2. Hi! I can't believe I am posting this but here goes. I am in my 30's, single mom to a teenager and my boyfrirend is a single dad in his early 40's with two kids...pre-teen. He has been separated two years, divorce just became final this month. We have been a couple six months. He has his kids alot. When he has his kids, I don't spend time with him...his choice. I don't have a problem with taking that part of our relationship slow. He met my child (my son's eighteen), six weeks ago. I have meet his but only once spent time with them....both of us with all three of our kids went on an outing. It was a great day with no problems. I am his first relationship since his very long marriage ended. I understand him not wanting me to spend time with his kids until he was sure he wanted this relationship to go somewhere. Every single day he has not had his kids, we spend together.....have since the first date. The days I don't see him he usually phones me. He is so good to me and goes out of his way to make me happy doing little every day things that most people don't think to do or appreciate. I have been really understanding of the keeping the kids and me separate, being a single parent myself, I get that. However when's the point when that needs to change? This week he has to travel for business and every day he is not gone for business he has his kids. A few of those days were not to be his days with the kids but he has always swapped days with his ex if he is going to be out of town so he still has his kids the same amount of time. He has the kids way more then half the time. Five days this week and two days this week out of town. I have been patient with this but am thinking that by now, six months in, he would want to have me around some times when he has the kids. Especially when if he doesn't then he doesn't see me at all this week. The kids mom is not sitting at home thinking about her ex-hubby. She moved on long before he did and has even bought a house with her new partner. He is often with the kids as are his kids around them alot. As you can probably guess, I am wondering if I am asking too much to want to be in the picture with the kids once in a while? He is the best father and I love that about him but I can only be put on the shelf for so long. I don't expect everything to change overnight but I don't understand why I can't be around even one evening when there is not one "free" evening in the enitre week. I know it may sound like he really isn't that into me. But he truly is wonderful to me otherwise. I honestly can't believe I have met such a great man. Except this one thing....I'm tired of being patient. I haven't said anything to him and just hoped eventually patience would pay off. Thus far it hasn't and I am thinking it has been long enough. What do you all think? I am interested in anyone's thoughts but particularily interested in what any single dads who may be out there have to say. Thanks. Wanting off the Shelf!
  3. I had this idea (well got it from elsewhere really) to get a rose, and put it under the windscreen wiper of her car, in the middle of the night, so she would discover it in the morning. However after I bought the roses I started to have second thoughts... The more I thought about it the riskier it seemed. Think about it for a second before reading on. (What would your reaction be?) Allow me to explain: We are going out together a few weeks, but we don't live together. I'm nearly positive she wouldn't see it as a stupid cliche (I'm not even sure it is a cliche), but she might see it as a bit of a violation of her home. I wouldn't be breaking and entering or anything, there isn't even a gate to open, but I am thinking maybe the idea of anyone sneaking around her house in the middle of the night might seem a bit scary or disturbing even if it's just to leave a rose. It means I have to walk into her driveway and up to beside her house. Furthermore she's a single mother, living in her house on her own with her kid, so she might feel a bit vulnerable. So what do you women think? Any quick replies would be great as it is in the next half hour I planned to do it. (I am meeting her tomorrow night and I may be a bit behind on my romantic gestures, so I want to do it before then if at all).
  4. Not sure why I haven't posted about this before... I'm a single mommy of a 3.5 year old daughter and a 6.5 year old son. They are Wonderful!!!!!!! Just wondering if there are any other single mom's or dad's around here? Also curious about things you do to cram everything into a day, to enjoy time with your children, to make things run smoothly! As I've said in many other posts, I truly think every child deserves a two parent home! Obviously, that's not always possible and unfortunately, I didn't make that happen for my children. Being a single parent is rough - I think I need a clone so I can stay on top of everything! Can't wait to hear your stories and to get to know ya!
  5. I feel like a have committed a great crime, and need to commit another. My first great crime was going out with, getting engaged to and building a house with a single mother - when I felt in my heart that it wasn't right. My second great crime is what I want to do now, call it all off. For some time now I have felt that my lips were sealed, as if what I wanted didn't matter. I'm really not sure who actually sealed my lips, was it her or me. Needless to say, I never acted as I really wanted. I got myself into this awful mess when I was having a terrible personal and work life. I was on the rebound from another girlfriend, my father was dying of cancer and was also in the middle of changing my career direction - which was not going according to plan, and I was also living 600 miles from home. In addition to the ill health of my father, I was love sick, home sick, money sick and career sick ! Recently I have been experiencing an awakening, my old self is coming back, and I have awoken in night mare. How on earth did I get here ? What seemed like the right thing to do with myself of the past was not the right thing to do with myself of the future. Part of me says, do the crime, do the time. But part of me begs not to hurt myself anymore. I do love her, and her kids, but I am finding it such a departure from the things that I really find enjoyable in life, and the things that make me tick, that I don't know whether I can handle it anymore. One of the kids has a fear of abandonment and the other is hugely dependant on her mother as a result of huge difficulties with her father. I need help, I need advice, I havn't spoken to anyone.
  6. I think, that when two people are in a relationship, that they should be focused on making the other person feel good. Right or wrong? When someone communicates their needs, the other person should try to meet those needs. Right or wrong? Please answer those two first, then consider the following. When I'm sick or not feeling well, he gets mad that I am not being nice to him. I don't mistreat him. I'm just less responsive. In a healthy relationship, shouldn't he be trying to make me feel better instead of making the issue about him? It's frustrating to me - because that's when I need him to help me and be there for me. Instead, I feel like I'm being attacked when I need help. The entire conversation is always about me not being as attentive as I should be. So, I already feel bad because I'm sick, then I have to defend feeling bad. Then, I'm a little angry that I'm the one who was sick and needed help, and then it somehow becomes all about him. I've communicated that several times. It always ends up in a fight that was my fault for bringing the issue up. I've said "I want to do everything you want, and give you everything you need." "I want to be treated well in return." We still wind up a few paragraphs above. What do you make of that? Also, I come from two happily married parents. He comes from a single parent home with a bad relationship with his mother. Does that make a difference? Advice? I want it to work.
  7. I'm dating a man who has joint custody of his daughter, a third-grader. He wants me to meet her, which I'm happy to do...but I don't have kids myself, and have had really limited contact with children. I'm afraid I don't know what to do or say. How can I make the first meeting easy on everyone involved?
  8. In an effort to find out where the problem of shyness originates from, I have come to the conclusion that: (1) there is a strong corelation between whether you were brought up by a single mother, a single father, or both parents. Those who were raised by a single mother tend to be the shy ones while those raised by both parents can be either shy or extroverted depending on which parent had more influence on them. (2) shyness is related to how possessive the parent was during the child's formative years i.e. whether or not the child was allowed to go out and play with other toddlers/kids or kept inside all the time. (3) a dominant older brother/sister who is opinionated, arrogant and loves to have the last say could also cause the younger siblings to become withdrawn and grow up to be shy and introverted. Edit: do to the overwhelming number of people who have stated this, I will also add (4) parents not having friends (i.e also shy), can unwittingly school their children to be shy. (5) a physically/sexually abusive parent can totally erode a child's confidence and make them shy. So shy guys (and girls) share your experiences and your thoughts on this one!
  9. I don't know what to do about my 5-year-old son. I just got a phone call from the camp that he is staying at for the summer and they told me that I needed to find another place for him. They told me that they spend too much time trying to calm him down and control him. What I dont understand is why isnt he like that all the time. Yes he is a hyper child and a bit ramunctious but he isnt aggressive or mean at home or with other children. I am at my wits end and reaching the point of break down. ](*,) I have tried everything with him (i.e. spankings, grounding, taking away things, rewarding for good behavior, etc). If you have read any of my previous posts you know that I am a single mom and that his father doesn't have much to do with him at all. I dont know if tha is part of the problem or not. I have thought about counseling and I just don't know what a counselor could do for a 5 year old. I really don't want to have to put him on medication. Does anyone else have a child like this that can lend a word of advice or encouragement??
  10. Hi. This is my first post. I am a single mom of two, one each. My son has said/done some things to indicate that he may be attracted to boys. For instantance, last night while watching a movie with a boys locker room scene, he said "I want to watch this again just to see the boys in the locker room" and then immediately said "nevermind"! I think it's ok, but everytime I ask him to talk about it, he says the same thing. How do I get him to trust that I will accept ANYTHING he does in life? I am ok with it, but don't really know how to get that point accross to him and don't want to be too pushy or lead him in one direction or another. I want to raise an independent, happy man!
  11. I dont really know if this is the correct place to put this but I have to vent. Do single men not realize that when they date or sleep with or flirt or whatever they do with a single mom they are involved with her child also?? How can you have sex with a single mom and then tell her that the relationship cannot go anywhere because he doesnt like children?? I dont understand that at all!! I am so confused and ticked off right now I could scream!!!
  12. Well, I did ask the guy who wanted to "date" without all the stuff of dating. And I was correct that yes, he basically wants s*x and only s*x with no relationship ties or commitment. In some ways, it would be wonderful (there is a chemistry/attraction that has been there for a couple of years). As a single mom, to get it and send him home before the kids got back and not have to worry about conflict with my kids would be nice. He is also a single parent & has had custody of his son for 13 years so he knows/understands that I don't want to involve my kids in other relationships. After 2 years, this offer looks sooo good. But I did this type of "relationship" in college and while it definitely hit the spot then I'm not sure I can do that again and not have other expectations or fantasies of a future. I guess I find his honesty refreshing. I hate to make decisions. On one hand I want this, really badly. On the other I am scared sh*tless
  13. It's a long story, but I had a son while I was in high school (17 years old). The egg donor was not interested in being a mother, so I became a single Dad shortly after graduating high school. I wanted to be a good Dad and support my son, and I thought this meant that I shouldn't date and bring lots of women into his and my life. I lived with my parents while getting a degree at a community college. My parents watched my son while I studied, and then when I got a job after getting my degree. I lived with my parents until I was 28 to save up money for a down payment on a home... it was humiliating for me to have to rely on them like that for so long, but I'm somewhat free now in that I own a home and don't have any debt besides the mortgage. During the time I lived at home, I gave up having friends for the demands of fatherhood and a working life. There were a couple women who took interest in me, only to get bored with me because I was emotionally preoccupied with my son. When I went on dates, I could only think of my son and couldn't enjoy myself. Sometimes I wanted to cry because I missed him so much. Instead of developing a personality, I resigned myself to raising my son without doing anthing else to improve myself as someone who cold be interesting to someone else. I played video games and watched TV in the evenings to pass the time, and didn't miss actual human contact all that much. I had repressed myself. All my ambitions, my intelligence, my very personality... and I let them wither away while I was waiting for my son to grow up. When I see 'normal' people and try to talk to them, I have nothing to say. I run out of words after "How's it going". I have a poor memory, and forget new people's names right away. Well crap it's just easier to say nothing, right? I'm beginning to see otherwise. I was doing OK in this zombie state for years, and successfully avoided pretty much all relationships except family. This continues even today... but something happened last week. I met a girl who has seemingly made all the right decisions in life. She's my age, single, and beautiful. I was dumbfounded... how could someone like this be single still at 30, when most people seem to marry by then - unless there's trouble. This girl seems to me that she's so very far out of my league that I don't stand a chance even making intelligent chit chat with her. She's a very kind person, and I doubt she would turn down something as benign as a lunch invitation. Sounds easy enough. But here's the thing though: ever since I met her it's like I've been sick. My eating and sleeping habits have been altered, and I've been re-evaluating my life non stop. Video games, and net surfing... all the anti social things I once thought I enjoyed only offer boredom now. I have the sudden desire to improve myself, except I feel like I've missed too much time developing as a person to ever get myself to the point that I'd be merely acceptable - let alone loveable. Time had gotten to the point that it seemed like the weeks were flying by... but now it seems like time is standing still. This last week has been painfully slow, and I am beginning to feel emotions long repressed - with lots of solitary time to enjoy them. I'm agonizing over everything wrong with my life, while still trying to keep it together for my son and sanity (which is probably on the brink). I know I only have a window of opportunity to get to know this particular girl better... I guess I'm just sick that I haven't done anything to "enhance" my personality, and at this point I just don't think I have anything to offer except boring loneliness. If only I could tell her all of what I just typed above... of course it would be the last thing I ever said to her just before she RAN AWAY SCREAMING. I'm wondering if I should even ask to get to know her better. Why would she want to know me, when sometimes I don't even want to know myself. I sort of feel like I should go the "make friends" route before doing the "find a wife" thing... even though finding a wife is my ultimate goal. But then this girl sure seems like she could be the one I've been dreaming of. If you got this far, thanks for reading... this was mostly just for me to get this stuff out of my head and into the ether.
  14. What is "normal" between girl friendships. I was raised with 3 brother & had mostly male friends. I have a few close girl friends (but not to close, since I'm a single mom & not much of a social life) so i'm not quite sure what is normal. I met this new girl, she is Awesome, we work together & she's a lot of fun. I've only known her a couple weeks & I can't tell if she is just an oddly friendly girl or hitting on me? she makes comments daily on what a beautiful bum I have. & how much she loves seeing it (my bum) everyday (I'm never sure how to reply?). How i'm *** hot I am. & how she thinks of me a lot. Is this fairly normal? I don't quite no how to respond to some of these either?
  15. Hi all I just want to know if it will get easier? Let me explain......I am a single mother of a 13 year old active son. He is my world but by this I mean my life revolves around his and always has. His dad took off when I was pregnant and was never heard from again so when I say I'm a single parent, I mean it. I have always been driven to give him the life that every child wants.....I have gone from busting my butt at 2 jobs while trying to finish school to landing a great job that allows me to be home in time for dinner and weekends. My problem now is this....after dinner I seem to be constantly running him to a whatever sport it is that he is playing for the season, or picking him up or droping him off at a friends house. The house work never gets done in the evenings for by the time I am able to think about sitting down it is time for me to get to bed. I spend the weekends trying to catch up on laundry, grocery shopping and housework. I never have time to just sit and relax. My son helps out as much as he can....between homework, chores and sporting activities. I just feel so guilty that we don't do anything fun together for there is no time. My friends get frusterated with me cuz I have no time to do anything.......I feel completely burnt out. How can I make time for me to be me......hell I am only 28 yrs old but I feel like I'm 40. I haven't even been on a date in 2 years. Can anyone tell me how to balance my life that will benefit both my son and myself???? Thanks
  16. hello i need some opinions from relationship experts out there about my situation... ive been in a relationship with a single mother of a 3-month old baby for almost 1 month now. reason she is a single mom coz her baby's father is underaged. the father as she said sometimes gives money for support, but she told me that their realationship is unclear long ago. all the father is doin now is give her financial support, which happens only if he has money and be there to drive her if she needs something to buy for the baby, or fetches her from work(because she is walking distance from her home and its quite unsafe for her to go home alone since her off-duty is 10pm which is late already).other than that, they both dont have any other contacts with each other(like dates or such).ok i gues the pciture can be ssen a bit already... what im trying to say is that IF i want this relation to really happen, and last long.. does it me she has to disconnect herself from the father?since she already said that she doesnt love him anymore? what would i do or say or how would i say this to her... btw, all of us are just neighboors, she is 20 im 28 so i gues thats old enough, i guess....
  17. I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks back. She is in her forties, fairly nice looking, owns a business, and has been having terrible luck over the last few years finding someone to share her life with. She said that guys don't like girls who are independent and secure b/c they expect equal amounts of control over the relationship and most men need to be in control. Although I have seen this most of my life with my mom's disasterous marriages, I argued with her b/c I NEED to believe that equal relationships do exist. I went home and asked my b/f what he thought about it and this is what he said: Guys aren't attracted to strong independent women, they prefer them to be weak and insecure b/c men need to be in control of a relationship. Women who are independent expect more and can leave when they want. He said it is pure animal insinct and that is why men are attracted to looks and needs and women money and strength. Men need to be in control and women need to feel protected it is as simple as that. He even made a half-joking statment about dating single moms is kinda like taking care of "another man's garbage" and that is why guys won't usually date a single mom. I was appalled. Mind you I have been plenty weak and needy over the years, but I always thought the reason that a man stayed with me was b/c of who I am, and not how I look or what I need from them fiscally. I haven't had alot of experience dating I'm 32 and was married seven years and in a long-term relationship for six and a half years, but I am not a naive girl this is just something I never considered. Now I'm reaching my time for independance and security (graduating college) and my long-time b/f is ready to call it quits, how coincidental. Is he afraid that I might leave or that I might begin to demand or expect more from our relationship?
  18. I am a 44 year old single mother of a 15 year old daughter. i have been very blessed that my life has lead me to raise my daughter in a very beautiful place. I live in Santa Barbara California. It is so drop dead gorgeous here. There are so many great opportunities for my child here. Being a single mother with no childsupport and not the greatest education behind me, I am living under the poverty level. I make between 8-10 dollars an hour. The only way I can even survive in this expensive town is because I am on section 8 housing which lowers my rent. (The normal rent here for a 2 bedroom apartment is 1,600 a month) Santa Barbara is one of the most expensive cities in the US. I have not been in a relationship for 10 years. Im not a bad looking girl, I have a few pounds and should get rid of and am working on it...but I cant get anyone to even consider me as a mate because 90 percent of the guys in this area are looking for high $$ career women to contribute to the expensive lifestyle out here. the men are all into the theater, wine tasting, the oo la la of the rich...i am the poorest person I know here except for the homeless people. Ive realized that no guys in this town are going to be interested in me, and if there are a small few...the chances are pretty slim that Ill find any. ive even thought of moving to a less expensive area because I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life. But i just love it here! what should i do?
  19. I'm just wondering if there is anyone on the forum who has been though the I-130 file process as I am just about to file our petition. I'm so worried because I was told it can take from 6 months to a year and a half and we are worried that I can't have the baby in the US unless we can get me put on his medical insurance. We're worried he can't be there at the birth. I'm really worried right now and would really apreciate any advice from anyone who has been though this. I know I'm elegable for a K-3 Visa for seperation. But I don't know how long that takes. I was wondering if anyone can let me know if they have been down that road. I don't want to have to start my baby's life as a single mother away from my husband who I love so dearly. I'm so scared. Someone please let me know. Thanks, ~S.
  20. Single Moms: Tips on Dating If you’re a single mom and you’re currently dating, wanting to date, and/or are in a seriously relationship, here are a few tips on how to interact with your guy/date: 1) Never, ever accept instant messaging and/or text messaging as the primary form of communication. After all, this is how your kid(s) communicate with their friends! Genuine, mature, and AVAILABLE guys will use the phone. Email is okay but he needs to use the phone too. 2) Don’t bash your ex for the sake of bashing. This includes the first, second, third etc. date. The only time you can bash your ex is when your guy/date asks about him or wants to know about him. Otherwise it'll make you look like just another bitter woman. 3) Be cautious of Emotionally Unavailable Men. They will probably bring out all of your insecurities and cause you even more stress that you don’t need. (They are the ones that send you mixed signals, come and go, and disappear without any notice) 4) If you want a relationship and/or a serious relationship step-up and let it be known. Don’t sit back and wait on him to determine when and if things will get serious. If you don’t have time for a manicure, then you don’t have time to wait around for him either. 5) Don’t let your child(ren) get attached if you don’t think the two of you will last. Only you can determine when it is the best time to introduce your child(ren) and how much time they spend with him. 6) When the two of you are out for dinner SLOW DOWN and eat your dinner at a normal pace. Savor every bite of your dinner and enjoy your time away from your child(ren). 7) Let him drive you around for a change. 8) If he wants to fix something in your home let him. You know if you don’t let him it will never get fixed. 9) If you’re out with him and the child(ren) and he wants to push the stroller, feed the baby, put coats on, wipe faces/hand, etc., let him because this shows he could be trying it out to see if he has what it takes to be in you and your child(ren’s) life. Besides, it’s nice every once in awhile to have a break. 10) Pay attention to the little things that he does. For example, if when you return from a night out by yourselves and the first thing he does is check on the child(ren), you know he's sincere and has a huge heart. Excellent qualities. 11) ALWAYS appreciate every single thing he does for you no matter how small, medium or large. Tell him “thank you” and how much he has helped you out etc. 12) Make sure you keep a balance between what he does for you and what you do for him too because you don’t want him to think you’re taking advantage of him. (This is where we get bad reputations as single moms because too many take advantage of good guys which makes other good guys reluctant to date single moms). 13) Don't freak out if your house is not perfect and crystal clean when he comes over. He shouldn't judge you because a sometimes messy, disorganized house goes along with having a child(ren). And don't clean up while he's there either. He might think you have OCD! NOTE: These tips come from my own personal experience. I've been a single mommy since the day my daughter was born and it's not easy to date and have a relationship when you have kids. I hope my tips are helpful. Let me know if I left anything out!
  21. Hello I'm a single male, never married, 39 years old. I just recently (about 2 weeks ago) met a fantastic women who is 40, and has 2 children. We seem to be hitting it off real nicely. I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time. And I know she feels the same way too. And I know it's early, but it does seem like we share a lot in common. My dilemma is this, in that I would eventually like to have children of my own someday soon, and I'm not sure yet what her desires are. Being that she's a single mom, at 40, it would be hard for me to imagine that she would want to do it again. I know theoretically, it's probably still possible for her to have children, but I'm not sure how great the odds are. I have a lot of conflicting emotions right now...my heart says to go for it, but my mind says it probably is not in my best long-term interests. Am I worrying too much? Does anyone have any similar experiences to share? Would love to hear it... Thanks Larry
  22. If you're a guy thinking about dating a single mom, already dating, and/or in a serious relationship with a single mom here are a few tips: 1) You absolutely, positively MUST love kids (babies,toddlers, school age, teenagers etc.) You wouldn't believe the number of guys who say they love kids only to impress. 2) You must be understanding of the fact that being a mom is, at times, overwhelming and very stressful. thereforeeee, if it seems at times that we are "complaining" or "witchin" about something it's only because we are frustrated and stressed and need to vent. 3) Recognize that you may be the only adult conversation we've had all day long. thereforeeee, don't hold it against us if we talk your ear off every now and then. 4) Be sensitive when we try to be sexy (whether we initiate sex or wear something sexy). We don't feel as confident about our bodies as we did before we had child(ren). We need to know that we're still sexy! 5) We like it when you consider us as a "hot mommy." 6) Every now and then take us out on a date that requires us to "dress up" and wear something other than mommy clothes. This helps us feel sexy and let's us know that we're a desirable woman. 7) If there is something minor in our home that needs repaired offer to fix it or find someone that can fix it. Often we are too busy with other things that the small, simple things like missing trim around a door frame get pushed to the side. Many of us probably can fix them on our own but a simple gesture like this is greatly appreciated because it's one less thing we'll have to worry about! 8) Go grocery shopping with us. This task can be dreadful because the child(ren) can make the trip to the store either a good one or a bad one. Your assistance will make the trip more efficient because we can focus on the shopping list instead of keeping Little Johnny from crawling out of the cart! 9) Don't take us to a late movie because we'll probably fall asleep in the theatre. Shoot for the early evening show instead. 10) Always hold, hug, and kiss us so we know we matter to you. Sometimes we're too busy being mommies that we forget we are human too. This is also the best way to help us destress, relax, and makes us smile inside and out. NOTE: These tips come from my own personal experience. I've been a single mommy since the day my daughter was born and it's not easy to date and have a relationship when you have kids. I hope my tips are helpful. Let me know if I left anything out!
  23. At my age, I understand that a lot of people are divorced with kids, so I'm trying to be open to dating a single dad. I was matched on eharmomy with a 38-year-old divorced single dad of a six-year-old boy. For my match settings, I select that I don't want to be matched with anyone who has children under the age of 18 living at home full time. I'm not allowed the option of selecting to be matched only with others in my age range (32 to 43- how I set it) who have never been married, or at least have never had children. Most single dads have kids who are living with the ex-wife. I get matched from time to time with single dads and I always close their accounts first. This particular match did not tell me until our first phone call that he was divorced and had a child. I've never dated anyone with a child before. I have nothing against kids. I want one of my own. I just have a very difficult time with the whole idea of supporting a first family (it's his obligation not mine if that makes sense). Maybe that sounds mean, but it's how I feel. I've worked really hard for what I have, and it does bother me to think that I can't enter a marriage fully and share what I have with my husband and he shares what he has with me, because he already has a first family. I know that his first priority will always be his first family. I really don't know how to date someone who has a child. I don't know if I want to help raise another woman's child while I have my own kids. It's the exwife I really don't want to deal with. I know that she lives near him. I'd like to at least meet him and find out more about his divorce and his arrangements with his exwife, whether or not she's remarried, etc. How do I tactfully ask him questions at our first meeting about his divorce? I want to know when and why his marriage ended, what his relationship is now like with his ex and child, and whether he's open to the possibility of marriage and kids in the future. How do I broach the subject without sounding like I'm grilling him? This is very important to me to find out the details early.
  24. I was certain that I didn't want to date a single dad. I posted on here before about asking him questions regarding his divorce and his ex without sounding like I was grilling him. We were matched on eharmony and he didn't tell me until our phone call that he was a divorced single dad. I debated whether to meet him. I met him Thursday for about an hour. He was honest with me about the details of his divorce and his ex. They met in med school. Both are eye surgeons. He thought that was all they had in common. They divorced four years ago before moving back to the city where I live, where they both are from originally. It made a big difference to me that the house he lives in is one he built himself and didn't live in it with her. And also that he wants to remarry and have more kids. In just the hour's time, I was able to find out at least more info to help me decide to go out with him on a date. I'm glad that I gave him a chance. I'm still not sure how it's going to work out dating him, since he has his six-year-old son every other weekend and on Wednesdays. I'm also still dating another guy who is getting more attached to me. This time, I'm dating casually until the infatuation stage he's clearly in wears off, and until I find the one who's right for me. Any advice on dating single parents? Any advice on dating more than one person at a time? I've let the guy I've gone out with on three dates know that he could talk with me about anything or ask me anything, that I'm an open book, but he's not once asked if I'm dating anyone else. He just thinks I'm this wonderful woman. I turned him down for a date tonight because I want to slow down the pace of the relationship while I get to know this other man.
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