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Beyondthesea

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Everything posted by Beyondthesea

  1. Beyondthesea
    You're only 19 years old, you have a lot of life to live yet. Why do you think you won't ever have a relationship?
  2. Beyondthesea
    guess I was right all along he didn't care as much as I thought. My friend is going through the same thing right now and she just told me this today. She broke it off, hoping he would see the light but he's either blind or stupid. I'm so sorry you're hurting, but it definitely will get better. Soon you will feel better, and more confident in your decision. Also, it's hard to feel that you were 'right' about him not caring. You are doing really well, keep telling yourself that!
  3. Beyondthesea
    Yes, then all the times I've influenced people and helped them through would never have existed. I would never have experienced beauty, love, nature and happiness. Sounds pretty bad!
  4. Beyondthesea
    I read your other post and can see how hard this is on you, but you are doing the right thing. You two just weren't going to work out. At first, it's very hard, but you really are on the right track. From now on, delete his messages and don't respond to any of his advances. He had a lot of time to prove himself over and over and completely blew it yet again. He wants a relationship without putting any effort in.
  5. Beyondthesea
    This is exactly true. Great analyzing.
  6. Beyondthesea
    at 33 i am trying to SAVE my marriage i just want to make this relationship into a business partnership until i have enough money to leave him. What exactly do you want? Do you want to leave or do you want to stay? I think until you make up your mind, no one can help you. The way you switch back and forth really indicates that you are being abused in my opinion. Suddenly you are feeling guilty about having been upset and are wavering back and forth. I'm so sorry you're suffering so much, and sorry for my advice. I won't offer anymore on your threads. Good luck.
  7. Beyondthesea
    Oh honey, I am so sorry this has happened. You need to tell him to get out, period. He is taking advantage of you. Because you won't leave him, he's having the life. He has two women fighting over him, that's why he won't choose. You won't walk. You need to sit him down, tell him straight the relationship is not continuing. So either the two of you can separate things nicely, or you will get a lawyer. Don't let him walk all over you any more, because that is exactly what he is doing. He has it made! He can live with you and sleep with someone else. He isn't ever going to choose because he doesn't have to, and frankly, if he chose you I'd tell him to bugger off. Time to walk. It will be hard, but not as hard as feeling humiliated when he chooses her anyway. You are being made the fool.
  8. Beyondthesea
    Friend, completely up to you, but I wouldn't go back and be made a fool of again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. She's been stringing you along for far too long. She kept you on the side just as we predicted, so that if her affair didn't work out she would be able to go back to you and still be looked after. Nice.
  9. Beyondthesea
    I agree...can't you just take over for a while? You are just too used to having someone doing everything for you it sounds like and it's not fair to throw all the responsibility at him when you can clearly deal with things quicker and easier than he can.
  10. Beyondthesea
    There truly is nothing wrong with seeing a lawyer now. A good lawyer will see you for free for up to an hour for a consulation to tell you what you are up against. Things to consider: all your debts, assets, etc. Do either of you own other property, have loans, have pensions, savings, etc? If you have savings, etc. now would be the time to ask a lawyer about how you can 'transfer' your money somewhere else so that he can't touch it. Anything of yours is his and vice versa. Sadly you have to be just as dirty as he is, because you'll be very surprised what he will do when the first rock is thrown.
  11. Beyondthesea
    I say forget the counseling. Start saving money to get out of this. In the meantime, consult a lawyer and see what he can/can't do to you legally with regards to children, the house, etc. Also see how much child support you should get provided you take the children, and see how long the proceedings would approximately take. You can only take so much before it's time to bow out gracefully and live a better life.
  12. Beyondthesea
    Good for you! That is such an accomplishment. It's so hard to stop yourself when it's so engrained...I am such a compulsive eater, and you've given me an idea of what to tell myself next time I start..so probably within a few hours...
  13. Beyondthesea
    Personally first I would look inside myself and ask why I don't find her attractive. I know that each of us has a certain criteria for a mate, but some people, (like those who have been abused, abandoned, etc) normally don't find a normal relationship 'exciting' enough to be considered 'real' and often complain the chemistry is missing. If you two get along so well, you find her attractive, you have similar interests, what's the problem? Do you think true love entails 'fantasy' love? Do you feel that she isn't exciting enough? Just some thoughts.
  14. Beyondthesea
    I still stick with this is unfixable. She is using him until she can find a 'suitable' replacement for her relationship addiction...or should I say attention addiction? North if you had followed the story the way we have, you would also be saying this isn't salvagable. Why belittle yourself any longer? He has been waiting for her forever. That's long enough to say that she doesn't love him.
  15. Beyondthesea
    Well why doesn't your mother block her number? It's not your fault if your mom won't stand up for herself and not your fault if you don't want to endure abuse any longer.
  16. Beyondthesea
    I would not bother with marriage counseling. You have been chosen purely because the other guy isn't available! That's sick! Drop her, move on with your life. She will find someone else to latch onto now, she is looking for someone, anyone. You are only second best. Don't let her do this to you.
  17. Beyondthesea
    Agreed. This was supposed to happen. I'm sorry it is hurtful, but you two just didn't 'click.'
  18. Beyondthesea
    You have dry skin. You need to exfoliate daily with a gentle exfoliant, use a toner and use a high quality moisturizer (Oil of Olay is actually quite high quality and not greasy at all). This should provide nearly immediate relief. I'm the exact same way, so I completely relate!
  19. Beyondthesea
    Exactly true. Anyone who spends countless hours and thoughts on commiting suicide could be spending that time trying to better their lives, period.
  20. Beyondthesea
    See my best friend set us up. If it was a friend who didn't know me that well, I would have told her to forget it.
  21. Beyondthesea
    Learn to play what you like. My suggestions: Violin - but not if you're tone deaf! You have to 'know' where the notes are and this can be difficult. If it sounds 'sharp or flat' you have to know to adjust your fingers. Clarinet/Saxophone: good for a beginner because it's specific fingerings for each note, it's all a matter of memorization Piano: everyone should play the piano at some time in their life
  22. Beyondthesea
    I agree with Annie. It sounds like you are both trying to force the relationship to work, but if there's no chemistry and you just aren't that into one another, why force it? Being good friends isn't a bad thing
  23. Beyondthesea
    Personally I would never date a 'blame game' man again. I was with one and it was terrible! No matter what, nothing was his fault and he blamed me for everything and his every action. That's a sign of being too immature to take responsibility for your actions in my opinion. Thinking things through from someone else's point of view and apologizing is what a grown up does.
  24. Beyondthesea
    I was set up with my fiance! We got engaged last night!
  25. Beyondthesea
    While you're on vacation make sure you wear sunscreen. It doesn't have to be SPF 150000. If you still want some protection but want to tan, just use like SPF 40 and then your chances of burning go down but you should still tan a little.
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