icanttakeitanymore

I have a journal, never write in it, but maybe I'll start if it helps you. He treats me great! You can tell he cares how I feel and listens to what I say, wants to see me. But I always doubt. Also, I guess I'll mention this, he does ballroom stuff for Uni. So he obviously knows a lot of girls and has a lot of them as friends. I've never dated someone with friends that are girls. And it kinda bugs me. Should I be worried that something more may happen? I've aske dhim before "do i need to worry about your dance partners or anything?" he just says "I know alot of girls, some are really pretty, but I'm not attracted to them like I am you, I dont like their personality like i love yours. And at the end of the day I want to come see you. Not spend time with them" I dont know how it works with guys and girls as friends..cause I know most guy just want action, but can they be different? I have guy friends that know don't want to get with me or whatever cause they have girlfriends and adore them. SO I know it's possible but it just worries me I guess.

I didn't know which place to put this really so I put it here. If you've seen any of my other threads you'll see I had issues with my Ex, umm then I've kind of been dating or seeing (whatever) this guy from work. He's sweet, treats me like gold, takes time out of what he's doing just to come see me, everything good you can ask for in a guy. Anyway, so I dont know if it's just me being like this because of my horrible relationship before or what but as much as he says and shows me he does like me I don't believe him. Everyone around me says "Yes he does you know he does look what he does for you and how he treats you." But I just think, they why do I feel like I'm just not worth it to him, or not good enough to be around him and I'm always questioning if he is really having a good time, even when it's obvious he is having a good time! I also just think I'm hideous to him. He has a lot of girl friends that I know he doesn't like or antyhing but I always ask him why he's with me when there are even more attractive girls around him. I dont' know non of this may make sense. It's like I can't trust anyone anymore, and actually think that they may actually like me! Like I'm some horrible person or something. I feel annoying to him to cause I always ask if he's mad, if he's really having a good time, stuff like that. He notices I ask alot and tries to make me understand that he does and he has never been mad. I dont know why I think like this. I just don't seem to have any positive to think about...any advice or thoughts would be great!

Yes exactly like they said. Me and my ex bf couldn't talk for almost 2 years after we broke up. Cause we were still so jealous of each other and coudln't talk about each others relationships or handle hearing about being with the opposite sex. Although we really did want to be friends and hang out. Now though, we can talk about ANYTHING he could talk about makin out with girls all he wants it doesn't bug me cause I've finally moved on and look at him only as a friend. And he does the same with me. It takes time. For both.

Well like I dated my brothers best friend who I've known for 13-14 years. SO I can't really go by the day we met with him. So I go by the day we first went on a date. But then say there is a guy I start hanging out with, who I know likes me and I like him.. I start on that first day we met/hung out (weather it's a date or not). I dunno...I'll shut up ahha

I want to cry, I want to scream, but I'm at work all day till 9. So it's like I sit in the office my eyes are all swollen cause I want to cry but I have no place to go and cry to. ya know.

I know, I need to really just be strong. It's like I want to call him even though I know we'll fight or whatever. I know he wont call or anything anymore. I could tell in the message he left. I guess I was right all along he didn't care as much as I thought. I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting it to be THIS hard. It's so hard to hold back the tears. Thanks, I dunno, he's been my life for 3 years. This is horrible.

It's killing me. I should have just deleted it. ](*,) Hearing his voice, now I'm so depressed. I'm going to miss holding him so much! God, now it is so hard for me to even think why I did break up with him. All I can think about is his touch and his face and how much I love him. I knew this would happen, I knew it would be hard. It's even harder for me to think of the reasons why we didn't work, when I'm working till 9pm and don't have anyone to tell me it's ok and it will get better!

I love everyone who has helped me on this board. I really took all they said and tried to apply it to the relationship. Everything you said is true.

Yeah, well we aren't really ganna date or nothing. Cause of that exact reason. He knows and I know that I'm just not ready for something. I don't want him to be a rebound. We talked about this stuff and we just want to hang out as friends a bunch. It's like I'm upset about it all, but I can't help but think that it would have just stayed horrible and I would have been unhappy and so it's for the best. So I don't get too upset. I was talking to a friend last night, tellin him that I am just waiting for one of these nights to just ball! He let me know that it's going to be like that for a while probably and it's normal. But he let me know he'll be there for me. He actually recently broke up with his GF cause she cheated on him. So we've been there for one another. Anyway, all in all I don't want to date. I just want to hang out with people. It's actually real hard for me to even look at myself being with someone else. I just want to be the 19 yr old that I am ya know. Go out, have fun, and not worry about coming home to someone who will yell at me for being happy.

Depends on the person. Some probly just always want something new and exciting. Others probably are just so torn between someone bad, and wanting something good. I think some will never do it again if they find the one person that makes them happy. Then others will cause like I said, they need something new all the time.

So I finally did it...I dont know if some of you saw my thread Well I broke up with him, we tried, things didn't work. It actually just got worse and we've seen each other less. And to be honest I realized what else is out there! There is this kid at work, Attractive, sweet, funny, charming. We've always gotten along well, and recently we started to hang out. I guess I needed someone to show that not every guy is just a straight up JERK . I've never been this happy in at least 2 years. When me and this guy at work started to just hang out as friends the last few days, I was still debating on if it will ever work with my (now ex) boyfriend. But he put the icing on the cake when last saturday night we were going to do something, instead he had all his friends come over knowing we haven't seen each other in almost a week. HE was the one who said we need to see each other and set it all up. SO I call him after work and he's with his friends and says he's going to be with them the rest of the night. And it would be rude of him to send them home, especaily one who was only there 25min . im just like, AND IT"S NOT RUDE TO BREAK PLANS FOR THE 100th TIME WITH ME! And it doesn't hurt MY feelings? OH and to top it off he says "Well they came first and I can see them when ever I want!" THAT HAS NEVER BEEN THE ISSUE! I dont care if he saw his friend every day! Just dont tell me I'm going to see you and I will finally get to have time with the person I love. Then just blow me off! He's done it so much I felt like I died inside each time. Anyway, I told him, I can't do it anymore, we need to split. I wasn't happy. And I could tell he wasn't as happy either. I coudln't stand crying over him anymore. But it's like it didn't go through he comes out saying "Ok hun, see you tomorrow!" And has the nerve to call me the next day like nothing was wrong and leave a messege on my phone asking when that day we were going to go to eat and see each other! ARE YOU SERIOUS! So all day I just kept busy relaxed saw a movie. Then as I was heading over to a friends house he calls and I pick it up cause I figure he just didn't get it. (and I was right he didn't) He gets all upset at me saying I ruin time when we can see each other. And Seeing me for an hour isn't import to him. And that Everyting is always me blowing it up! He never does anything wrong. So I just blew up on him! Yelled I cant take it, he doesnt listen it is always his way and I haven't had any say in our relationship in the last year! He never respected my feelings and it was done! I didnt want to see him! I told him I love him and care for him but I wont go through my life specially my younger years when I should be out having fun just sitting around and being unhappy and waiting for him to come around. He ALWAYS got upset when i went out with friends saying I should have been with him. I NEVER made plans with him and broke them. I was always on time and always did what I can to make sure to never show him I didn't love him. K well he's called 3 times today. I just dont think he understands. Everyone is telling me to just never talk to him again. He needs to realize things. What really got me to do it all was I was just looking at this guy i've met at work and then my ex. And it's just like in my head I weighd it out. Do I want to grow up marry someone who doesn't want to ever work and just live off his parents. Who pops sedatives everytime he's with me or even just 3-4 times a day cause he doesn't want to deal with life as he says. And who drinks when life gets rough (and rough to him is an 9 hour day at work, now I work 2 jobs so.) and blames me for stuff I never even do. Who has lied to me so many time I can't trust 1 word he says to me anymore. Even when he says he loves me I know it can't be true.... OR Do I want to marry someone like this guy at work. Who has his head on his shoulders, who treats me with respect. Actually listens to me and wants to know how I feel and isn't always talking about himself. Someone who looks out for me and everytime I'm around him he makes me so happy, which makes him happy. Who knows he's not perfect but tries his best to get through life and loves every minute of it. Sorry this is long and rantful. I'm just mixed with anger and happiness. On one side I'm Upset cause I do love my ex and I will miss the good times we did have. But then i'm happy I wont need to deal with the day to day drama that we had. I haven't htought about myself in the longest time ive only thought about him and it just made me unhappy cause it never worked. And I'm happy that things with this guy at work are progressing slowing but so nicely! Of course we're just friends now, but I can tell there is something there and he says he wants there to be something someday but knows I'm getting out of something rough and he wants to help me through it. So call me bad/stupid/wrong to look towards someone new so quickly. If only ya'll could understand how happy I am around him. And he actually lets me see his friends! So now I have a group of people I just hang out with. My ex never would do those things.

Yeah I think screaming, yelling, getting even isn't the best idea. I guess I kind of see it as letting them win. Making them get an even bigger ego..thinking "Heck yeah, I had that much control over his/her life to make them go insane." Like if my boyfriend is/was cheating (I have had my worries), I would probably just say to myself. That he wasn't good enough for me, and he obviously doesn't care about me. I deserve someone who does care. So HE woudln't be worth the time of freaking out. Then again I aslo see, not freaking out, as getting back at them as well. It's like saying to them "Fine, you cheated, there is nothing I can change about that, I don't need you I'll find better." And go out into the dating scene. If I was a cheater and my bf/gf found out, and just stopped talking to me and started dating and getting on with life right away. It would piss me off horribly! Then again I just hope this doesn't happen to me.

Yeah I don't think I'm going overboard, cause I'm not dead set on "He HAS to be cheating" Just once and a while I get this feeling like he either is hanging out with a girl, or wants to start seeing other girls. I'm probably just freaking myself out cause I am a bit selfconscious. But, lately he's acted like if we're apart, then it's not a big deal. I dunno, some of those things that ya'll listed happen, but then a lot dont.

Can ya'll please just give me any/all/and every sign of cheating? So I know I'm just freaking myself out!! Thanks.](*,)

It honestly sounds a lot like my relationship was.. We have now been together for 3 1/2 years, but early on he did the exact same to me. Never called, when I called never answered. Would ignore me for a week or just days at a time. He would say he's going to show up but then never does and never calls. He always had some excuse. But it hurt soooo bad and al I wanted was to hear his voice. I mean what you just said SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE ME! Or at least how I was. To be honest, not saying this is his problem, my BF was hard core into drugs and alcohol. I had no clue when he was doing this. He was seperating himself from me because he didn't want to bring me into the situation he was in. Now that could be what your BF is doing. He doesn't want to bring you into something in his life that is going on right now. It kinda sounds like he could be depressed and just doesn't want to have to argue and put you through his issues. But How long has he done this? Just recently? If it's been the whole 3 yrs. I would say he is just not reliable. And if it is hurting you that much, you will do so much better without him. And if he wants you, he'll fix his issues and come back. It's what me and my BF went through. We broke up twice cause he was dealing with his problems and I was just going to get hurt in the process of him fixing his life and starting a new. But he did come back cause he loved me. My advice is to first of think if htis is a new habbit of his or old. If old...talk to him about it and set a time frame..if he doesn't change his habbits in a matter of months,years, whatever you decide. Then he just doens't care. ANd you don't need to be involved in that. If it's a new habbit. Talk to him anyway ask him if there is something going on that is making him distant himself from you. Maybe it's a simple problem that will change.