lizzy22

thank you blender. you're SO right. It's not love, how can it be? Thanks for pointing that out

Thanks so much. =) You're response helped me a lot

I just came here to get a little support and help from all of you. You've been so kind and understanding, even though I've done everything to deserve this. I went back to an ex I should have known wouldn't have changed. I fell for his kindness, when in all reality, it wasn't even that great. He didn't apologize either, just put on a nice act. Well, to make a long story short, the past month i've been blamed for everything that's happened. i say something wrong he snaps at me, i do something wrong i'm blamed for days. it's been awful. I'm not saying I'm an angel, but I never yell, cuss, or put him down ever, I just react to his unkindness sometimes. He views my reactions as being childish, and hangs up on me and ignores me. Then, last night he was interrogating me after i got out of a movie with my girlfriend he HEARD in the background, and still gave me the third degree. To make a long story short, he said he was sick of me, and now he's ignoring me. It's over for sure, but i just need some uplifting words to get me smiling again like i know I will be soon. I was so foolish to fall for him, but I did and now I'm trying to be strong and move ahead. Thanks everyone.

You're very right. I know what you mean about the gut feeling and I know I need to go with that. I think deep down he may be telling me the honest truth, and what he did in the past messed me up in the sense I may never be able to trust him, even when he's 100% honest. My gut feeling says he will probably get more and more short tempered with me now that we're settled in, and he may not ever cheat again, but I know what he's doing already has taken a toll on me. When I was with him before, it felt like I was always depressed- He would hang up on me, ignore me for days, throw me out of his place, and call me horrible names. I stayed out of weakness, and remembrance of the "good side" he had. I went back to him because he promised he'd changed, and realized he didn't want to lose me again. I'll give it a little more time, and if things don't change on both ends, I'll have to walk away. Thank you so much for the replies.

I'm worried about that very issue Crazyaboutdogs. I keep thinking I'm being too paranoid (which I probably am) but he isn't the kind of man that says, "everything will be ok." We've been together for 3 years and he's scared of marriage/kids, and last night he even said, "you're mean and bi**y like all other women!" If I knew he was having a hard time, or had issues with something I did to him in the past, I'd be busting me butt to try and win him back. That's just me, but I believe that when you truly love someone, you don't hang up on them, say mean things, then act like everything is ok and I'm crazy for acting the way I do. for now, I guess I'll just back off a bit, and if it doesn't get anywhere, or gets worse, I will have to go. I did it for a month without him and did just fine, so I know I can do it again. It was great for a month, now it seems he could care less if I come over or not.

Pacopaco- He's 35, so maybe the age difference (im 10 years younger) is what's preventing me from being able to believe the friends thing. Thanks for your comment. I know I should believe him regarding that issue, and not look at his past actions. He said he's truly sorry, he isn't like that anymore.... It's just he never gets together with this particular friend on Friday nights, let alone really goes out at all. We live in LA, and it's just so hard to go out anymore. Am I reading into things way too much? If he told me to come up to his place (even when he's out with his friend Friday) should I just trust him regardless. when we first got back together, he'd want me at his place all weekend. Now he's like, "whatever, come up when you want." His hang ups and name calling aren't right, but I may just be aggravating him. Should I just trust him, and stop being so paranoid? Someone posted on here that one occurrence out of the norm doesnt mean he's doing anything wrong, it's when he develops a strange PATTERN. Maybe I'll just lay off A LOT, let him call me when he wants, and stop asking so many questions, regardless of what he did in the past.

Well, we kinda mutually broke up because he had a horrid temper, and I was "annoying" him and not being mature about things. That's what he said. I didnt call him back because I knew I couldn't be with a man with such a temper, and in the past, yes, he did cheat on me. He told me he'd never do that again, he loves me and truly wants it to work, but I'm having a huge issue believing him. I may be freaking out, but can men have a good friendship with an old friend from junior high and it be strictly a friendship. I have a feeling he may see her again, and maybe even this friday when he said he's seeing his friend. Maybe I'm just SUPER paranoid and need to back off and give him space. I feel so bad if it really is all innocent, and he isn't doing anything behind my back.

I got back together with my ex of 3 years about 2 months ago. For those who followed my story in the past, he wasn't the nicest man in the world, and really treated me with a lot of disrespect when conflicts arose. Well, we broke up for a month. In my mind, it was over. he told me to go be with someone else, and he would be too so we could forget each other. we were having too many issues, and he couldn't take me "attitude" anymore. So, we broke up, and I didn't call him or anything. He would contact me a few times with texts, but I didn't respond.. Ok, jumping to the present and skipping details, we're back together. He told me in that month how much he missed me and realized how well I treated him. I'm very sensitive, and I have my issues, but I never once yelled at him, cussed at him, or put him down. When he had issues, I was there for him. I guess he realized that's tough to find in a woman. So, he's been really trying hard, and I can honestly say he's different. But, things are starting to get a little worse. I'm having a HUGE issue trusting him, even though he's trying to prove to me he is faithful. He met up with a female friend he's had for 18 years (no sex ever, just junior high friends) but I couldn't take it. I got so angry and hurt they were meeting for dinner. He said it's totally innocent, but given his past, I couldn't believe him. He's also starting to get short with me, hanging up on me when I annoy him, and getting short tempered. I'm going through a hard time, first with old issues with him, and my own personal issues, so i'm sensitive. He's been hanging up, and acting as if he doesn't really care. He told me he's going going out with his buddy Chris friday night when we ALWAYS spend the weekend together. He said I could stay at his house while he's gone, yet I still don't believe him. Do you all think there's a chance we can make it if I just stop "smothering" him and just trust him. It's so hard, and he's showing signs of his old self, but I love him so much. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you

I may need to, because I thought this guy was awesome. NEVER has he done this to me. He has been patient, kind, and all of a sudden. BAM. Thats why I'm totally shocked. He said he was having an awful day, his grandma is sick, but it does not give him a right to do this to me. I thought maybe I was overreacting because of my past, but I guess not.

This is a new guy. Why do I pick these guys? Ive been with this guy for only 5 months or so. Already a red flags

I was in a situation like this before, and never thought I would be again already. I don't want to be where I once was, and I just wanted to seek all of your advice, and make sure this man is not normal before I take the drastic step of leaving him. He has been a great guy otherwise, but has shown tendancies of anger, and this is huge. I asked my girlfriend, and she said in the 5 years she has been with her boyfriend, he has never even called her a name. I was utterly shocked, hurt, and put aback by his reaction.

I won't go into details, but my boyfriend has done something that really hurt me. I will spare all the details, and they don't even matter I guess, I just want to know if anyone under ANY circumstance has the right to call their girlfriend this: I get an email from him this morning saying, "good morning you wh___re, you are a liar, an f____ing loser wh___re, f you b___ch." I'm sorry if it was offensive to read that, but I had to blank the shocking part out. I balled my eyes out when I saw it. You all probably know the the words I was trying to use. Wouldn't a normal, loving person who was angry or hurt handle it without all those expletives??? The other day, he told me to shut up over and over, and I know its not right. Is this something to leave him over? Is this rage and explosive temper justified even in anger. I did NOT cheat on him, he misunderstood a situation, and he still is yelling at me.

Thats a good idea to set times that we do things. He is pretty good at doing something if I want to do it, maybe I just need to bring more things to his home that will occupy my attention. Thank you both for the post!

No response tells me I am.... its probably a stupid thing to dwell on, but it bothered me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. Things are overall pretty good between us. He doesn't really have a "real" job. He can make up to $200 a day if he is called into work, but sometimes he only works 3 times a week. to my knowledge, both him and his parents have income properties that give him money each month as well. Anyways, I worl 5 days a week, and the weekend is the time we see each other. the problem i face is he is OBSESSED WITH THE ECONOMY and is always on his computer, always watching CNN, and he is constantly checking stock prices and live ticker! He is always talking about economic affairs when his mom calls, when his friends call, and its all i hear. He tells me that one day we will be rich and be able to go on trips, but for now, this is what he has to do to make money and he needs to do this.... I would rather he had a 9-5 because at least he would have the weekend free! he has a 7 day a week job, and he doesnt take a break. We go to eat, we get coffee during the day, but thats it. Im either sitting around his place (i live kinda far so i can't just go home) while he is on the computer, or we are watching CNN or market watch when he isn't. We only have sex now once a week, and its getting old! Ive tried to talk to him about it, but he gets mad and says I need too much of his attention. Am I overreacting? I just feel that what he is doing is becoming an obsession