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mom2be

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About mom2be

  • Birthday 08/08/1977

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  1. Hang in there. I really think you should see your doctor and the your doctor how you are feeling. Also there are many self help books about becoming more positive and learning how to think positively. You really need to find the strength to start loving yourself. Try by starting of thinking of things that you are thankfu for l in life. It can be the smallest things. And build from that. It is important for you to like who you are. But sometimes it is the hardest thing to do in life.
  2. Tonight I have my first pre-natal class. Instead of thinking about this class I am still a big mess about what has happened in my life. Part of me is extremely tired of feeling sorry for myself. I know I have to decide which direction I want to go in, but as usual I am having a tough time. DOUBT: How does one deal with doubt? The question -once a cheater always a cheater always a cheater rings true with my husband...and what i mean by that is he did not end this relationship a year ago when he should have. When we were having a martial problems at that time. For that matter he should have come clean with truth a year ago. But what is done is done. There is no going back. What I am trying to figure out is will he ever stop this pattern. This pattern of always going outside of our realtionship to make himself feel better to have his ego stroked. And I can honestly say- I think he will always do that. He always needs everyone else to have a good opininon of him. and his priorities are always mixed up. So how do I let go of the doubt when I feel this way. I think right now I need to embrace the anger, and then move on to the fixing. I am not ready to fix anything at this point. This is all really trivial when I think about it. How come this is happening to so many people? Where did humanity fo to?
  3. perry22 I AM SO SORRY that you have to go through this pain. It is awful to know that someone you love can do this to you. The one thing I have learned is that it is not your fault. YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! You need to take care of yourself and realize that you are important to this childs life. Dealing with the truth hurts. Trust me. I hear more and more of my husbands affair and I hurt all over again each time. The problem with him is that he is unable to com clean with everything, so everyday it is a new truth and a new hurt. You need to talk to someone about this if you are not ready to confront your wife. Seek some counselling. I have been dealing with this for 2 weeks and I am still a mess. And some days are worse than others. I will update you on what is going on with me in a later post. But right now my concern is that you do not harm yourself. It won't solve anything. You are numb right now, but you have made an attempt to reach out for help. That's a positive step. Please let us know how you are doing! Upsetwife- you have been great for both myslef and perry22. Keep up the positive attitude.
  4. Well he has finally admitted that he has told his "friend" that he loved her. Apparently over coffee break..(the lies will never end)......I have asked him to move out and he has. I am so angry and hurt. This was going on for our entire marriage. I never had a chance. Even when things were good with us, she was still in the picture...so that is a big eye opener for me. Right now I just keep going because I have no choice, but I am so close to breaking down and losing it. I see a thearpist on Thursday. So I have to keep it together until then. He was carrying this on even when we were trying to conceive this baby. I don't understand. And I think I will never understand...I will never understand. I want the truth, but every time I learn something new I crumble. HOW DO I STOP THE QUEST FOR THE TRUTH? and just move on with my life. Deep down I think I always knew this was going on, I just did not have the strength to face it. Well now I have no choice. I am scared and bewildered and I regret making this child. I am so ashamed for saying that. BUt I don't want to be tied to my husband any longer....and this will be a constant connection.....How do you survive this????? I love this unborn baby, but I hate my current situation.
  5. Couples counseling, and individual counseling is a great idea. But keep in mind when you are in counselling you have to be completely honest in that room, because that is the only way you can help yourself. I have been fortunate to hook up with a great counsellor, but sometimes you may get someone who does not work for you. But you should keep trying. Good luck
  6. My husband is doing the exact same thing you are currently doing to me. Actually as I read your post I sit here and think this is probably what his work day looks like...Probably what he has been doing for so long behind my back.... You are not being fair to anyone. Not even yourself. You are hurting a lot of people,,,,and so is she. This is coming from someone who is currently going through this...I am devasted by my husbands actions and of his excuses of why this friendship has developed.
  7. Thank you for your post. It meant a great deal to me. You have provided me with some really valuable advice. And when it is all said and done I have to make myself the main priority. This weekend was awful. And I slowly saw the breakdown coming. The anxiety has come...and this time I can not let it take over me. My problem is that I always make excuses for my husband and I always worry about him. You would never believe it, But I have a great job, great friends, great family, I am attractive and overall I have a lot going for me. My problem is I get so consumed with my realtionship and I always try to fix everything. I have made so may excuses for him. I have given him everything I have. And to see that this is how I am treated in return is very devastating. And I will be the first to admit that I am forgetting about this unborn child, already forgetting to take care of it....And That IS NOT A GOOD SIGN. I have to snap out of it and heal and fix myself for the future. This baby is innocent in all of this and I should remember to take care of me, because this little person is depending on me. I am calling my physician today to meet with a counsellor and go through thearpy all over again. IF I let him walk all over me one more time, I will never respect myself. Good thing is I made it in to work....and I am taking it one hour at a time....Right now I can't think in days. I have to take it slowly it is the only way I can survive.....I don't want to stay in this realtionship any longer...Thes sad thing is we planned this child together....we were at a good spot in our realtionship....but he stopped working. Last year I was at fault for some of our problems...but I worked on myself and on us...this time I have no regrets. I just need the courage and strength to move on. I have to remember that I love myslef and my life and that the future holds alot of great things for me and . Postive thoughts. I can't run away from the hurt...I just have to handle it in a healthy manner...I will keep you posted....AND THANKS FOR YOUR THOUGHTFUL RESPONSE. I really apperciated it. The baby thanks you to ;-)
  8. This is a question many of us ask... They are both wrong. So should it matter if one is worse than another?
  9. My husband is having an emotional affair and it is devasting. Just realize your actions cause reactiosn in other peoples lives. take care.
  10. This is the first time I have joined a forum like this. I usually just speak with friends and families about my problems and go from there. But I guess you can say I have hit a wall and I am not sure what to do. My husband has been having an emotional affair with one od his co-workers. They both have deep feelings from one another. I am not sure if anything has happened sexually. He syas it hasn't but I don't believe him. WE had this probleam a year ago when he hit a low and was unsure if he loved me. He said that he was confused about his feelings. I asked him if he loved some one else and he mentioned her name....He later re-tracted her name and contributed it to being depressed about his life and our realtionship. He went on meds and theray and had a realization that he loved me. HOWEVER, he never ended the relationship with her and continued to work in the same work enviroement. In the last week he has subsequently hit a LOW!.....But he was pro-active and went back to the doctors got meds and is re-starting thearpy. I saw this as a postive step. He did something before he hit rock bottom. SO I was trying to help hime out any way I could. On Friday I found text messages from this supposed friend....." --- I love you" "Baby please don't do this" "I know and you still can" " I can't control him"....Unfortunately I was unable to see the text messages my husband sent to her. I have confronted him on this and he says she is just a firend that supports him and that he cares baout her and that is it......It just does not make any sense to me.....this has happened twice to me. Yes we have our issues. But since she has been in the picture my relationship has been empty. He has admitted that she has said I love him more than once......I called her and confronted her. I am proud to say the I was clam and rationale (for now) and I asked her why she was texting my husband these things (he was not giving me answers that made sense)....She said it was over and she had moved on and that she was dating someone.....WHAT's OVER?????Apparently nothing had happened...I have no answers. I love my husband...and given that this has happened to me twice...I know it is time to leave....BUT and there is always a BUT...is I am six months pregnant. I need to be strong for myself and thhis child...and can't have an emotional breakdown like I did last time. I don't know what to do....my life is sprialing out of control.
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