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chai714

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Everything posted by chai714

  1. chai714
    Life gets better. I've found that once you get older, you come to a point where you cut out the clutter in your life and it makes for less drama. Concerning your ex: ignore, stay away, keep busy. Everything will be okay.
  2. chai714
    - travel to Sweden - thank everyone who has ever helped me, including people from here - have a son and teach him how to play soccer
  3. chai714
    Purpose of the first date is to have fun (as Day_Walker stated) and to get to know her. No need to invite her to your place. After she makes the cut only do you invite her to your place. If she doesn't make the cut, then she never gets to know where you live.
  4. chai714
    You have chosen to allow her to dictate how you manage your issues by giving into her wants. Come back whenever you need some help; you already know there are many helpful, good people here.
  5. chai714
    Many people swear by NC, but NC is not the Bible. You can be a decent person, tell him Happy Birthday and still be able to get over him.
  6. chai714
    I've never given advice like this, but Luke Skywalker I think you need a beer.
  7. chai714
    My good friend is in a very similar position as you are. I can tell you this - your future with women is dependent on becoming action-oriented. Start small then go big. Conversations, hanging out, kiss, then more. It helps to not fear rejection too or even offending a woman.
  8. chai714
    Ok, he said he was done with you because you're accusing him of something he claims he is not guilty of doing. His ex supposedly has evidence of a phone message which would indicate the two of them have been together. For now, I'd step back from this situation. You don't trust him because why? Is it because you're insecure or because you have reason to believe he cheated? How is the 3 of you meeting up going to be productive? I would never do something like this. If you don't trust him or can't, then be done with him. Even if you find that she doesn't have that phone message from him, you won't fully trust him.
  9. chai714
    Good words, Brando. I agree with him. I also understand how difficult it can be to fully let go of someone you love and desire to be with. The internal struggle can be amazing. Good luck and stay strong.
  10. chai714
    Part of loving someone is being able to make them feel good about theirself. Sometimes being 100% honest and "sharing" that information is too much. How much to share is something you'll learn on your own. Once you say something that is brutally honest by "sharing" then you'll know what is appropriate to share and what is not. I don't believe your life or anyones life should be an "open book." Some things are better off left unsaid or in your case, "not shared."
  11. chai714
    You don't need to be getting married if you're pondering leaving your fiance for another guy, whom you're also unsure how he feels about you. Get your head right before getting married. Call off this engagement as early as possible - you're nowhere near ready.
  12. chai714
    Wow. Hopefully they will be Starbucks dates unless you're rich. Dinner Scenario 100 dates x $40 = $4000 on dating, not including second dates and beyond. Coffee Scenario 100 dates x $10 = $1000, not including the caffeine headaches you'll be getting from all that coffee. Good luck and have fun.
  13. chai714
    It could be her or it could be 3 different people. Either way, none of them really needed your attention since no voicemails were left.
  14. chai714
    Give yourself and her time to cool off. Not sure what the fight was about, but generally speaking people can be overcome by their emotions in the heat of a conflict and use regrettable words. You might send a short reply saying, "in time, things will get sorted out." It's vague, but it gives the perception that you're optimistic that your conflict will be resolved. Good luck.
  15. chai714
    What if a man never says, "I love you" but treats you like gold, makes you feel secure, and makes you feel like no other person can? What if his primary concern is being able to make you happy and is also happy himself with his life? Does he not love you because he never said it?
  16. chai714
    LittleLion24, Excellent, excellent post. Thank you for taking the time to help others.
  17. chai714
    I didn't make any resolutions in regards to dating, but if I were to make one it would be to date less until I reach 30.
  18. chai714
    Why does it matter what it's called. As long as he treats you right, makes you feel a certain way, you will like him. I always call it "hanging out" when I make this suggestion to a woman because I have found that many women in my area don't like the word, "date."
  19. chai714
    A 3 some with the guy you care about - witnessing him kiss another woman or worse, "get off" by another girls doings will traumatize you. You can't psychologically prepare yourself for something like this. Your insecurities will magnify 10 fold. This won't be good for your relationship.
  20. chai714
    Wow. Lucye, there's not much you can do except wonder now. If you want to achieve inner peace, then you can come to forgive him in time if you so desire. I don't think contacting his family again would do any good. The process of achieving inner peace is tricky because we often tend to believe that doing things that involve other people is the way to inner peace, when in reality inner peace only involves you. You might experience a roller coaster of emotions for many years to come - anger, sadness, confusion, anxiety but I think it's quite normal given your situation. If I were you (if you're religious) then I would pray about it. In addition, I would write in a journal of how I felt, as often as I needed. I think getting these emotions out of your head and onto paper or computer is something that can benefit you. Otherwise, there isn't anything else you can do as far as communicating with him (obviously). So, you might be able to achieve more inner peace by praying and/or keeping a journal as well as continuing therapy. Hope this bit helps and hang in there.
  21. chai714
    Setting goals for yourself and improve your health is a noble thing to do. However, when you set goals it's important to take an educated approach - especially when your health is on the line. If nobody told you already, starving yourself is not a healthy NOR effective way to lose weight. If you've ever talked to a person who is in good, healthy shape then they would tell you that their diet is the single most important factor in maintaining a desireable weight. This means they choose to eat healthier foods instead of unhealthy ones. It's the overall effect of eating generally healthy foods (along with cardio workouts) that enable them to shape their bodies. For most people, this means cutting out all soft drinks, no fast food, avoid fried foods, watch your caloric intake, and get your heartrate up a few times a week. It's something many people struggle with and you're definitely not the first person to think that not eating will make you lose weight. Good luck in your quest to improve yourself and your health. Please take an educated approach, so that you can do it safely.
  22. chai714
    Let your ex be lost by herself. As much as you love her, why should she deserve another chance? She's so called, "lost." Is it your job to become her savior? Nope. This other woman though - she has a clean slate with you. She knows how to make you feel good, at least for the time being. Why should this other woman have to pay the price of being deprived a fair shot while you're still figuring out what to do with your ex? If you have enough common ground then why not continue seeing her?
  23. chai714
    His video collection has nothing to do with how he feels about you. Don't confront him on this - it's part of his past. Do not relate this to you - it has nothing to do with you.
  24. chai714
    Don't ask her out. Suggest you two hang out but have something in mind. Make it away from a coffee shop since she works at one. Perhaps an activity date or a dinner date would be fine. I would shoot for a very casual dinner date. It's okay to suggest a hang out with a girl too late, but it's never okay too early. In other words, there's never a need to appear anxious. Patience is confidence. Don't ever think, "it's now or never." If her body language was good and she appears interested, do it.
  25. chai714
    That was a very insightful post. I agree with you that as people get older and out of high school, the dynamics of our friendships change and also our ideas of friendship. People eventually develop other interests, go their own way and make what amounts to be, their own life. I only stay in touch with 2 or 3 friends from high school, but our friendships have definitely changed over the years. There was even a period of a few years when we didn't talk at all. I can't explain why really though. But these things happen. New people come in and out of our lives, some of them we can consider friends and some not. You raised a good point about people caring only up to a certain point. I think some younger kids (in high school) can be better friends to each other in a sense that generally speaking, they're willing to do more for their friends. Good post.
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