I am not sure exactly how to formulate this question. I guess I’ll try to do my best. I am in a very loving relationship – we get along really well and our communication is also very good. We have also agreed that whatever fears, insecurities, etc. we have, we will share them with each other if we deem necessary (I am not talking about not being able to maintain healthy boundaries). He initiated that policy, and it felt good to follow- it really strengthens what we have, I think.
The idea is that ages ago both of us considered this sort of thing a sign of weakness, maybe even instability (especially me, the former Ice Queen) whereas now we’ve come to realize that being able to show these things to your loved one requires a great deal of strength and self-knowledge. Not to mention, it brings us even closer together.
So, I have told him things that were hard to admit even to myself (and he has done the same). The immediate result was great. But now I can’t help but wonder if I’ve gone too far. I pride myself on being strong and independent, and sometimes wonder if I’ve shown too much. If my fears may be too “unattractive”.
I hope that makes sense. The question is how much is too much? What is your policy of truth?
P.S. I struggle with some things from the past between us and would really like to mention them, but then again I am not sure how much is too much.