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chai714

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Everything posted by chai714

  1. chai714
    Dating has little to do with age and more to do with attraction and emotions. We choose people initially based on attraction, then if they make us feel a certain way we keep them around. This is human nature. As you can see, age is hardly part of the equation.
  2. chai714
    Futy, There's little good news we hear about here, but your news is fantastic. Hope things work out between you two in the long run. Have fun.
  3. chai714
    Happy, Relationships don't thrive based on the sole element of love. Love is never the reason a relationship works. I understand you love her, but that's not why you're with her. You're with her because of the things in common you share together and you're with her because of how she makes you feel. I don't believe your political philosophies or beliefs play any significant role in your relationship, unless you're a politician of course. I understand how certain aspects of politics reflect personal values, but I don't find politics in general to play any significant role in the success of a relationship. As far as the way she disciplines her child - that's her call and unfortunately, you have little right to say how she raises her child. The only thing you can do is try to influence her (your gf) behavior, which would involve getting her to change the way she feels about striking a child. This wouldn't be a necessarily easy thing to do but I think it could be done to some degree.
  4. chai714
    Guy, As long as you're both living with your respective exes, this is not even an issue. I would consider your relationship with her VOID, as in does not exist. Don't rationalize this situation - it doesn't matter if her ex clubs her with a baseball bat on a daily basis - she wants to stay with him and live with him and IS living with him. What more is there to examine here? Look no further than her living situation. She can come up with the best reason in the world why she's living with her ex, but none would be good enough. The same goes with you. I guarantee any sane person would be deterred by discovering you're still living with your ex. If you want to even begin to think about a future with any person other than the one you're LIVING with, you're gonna need to move out. If you want to have a normal dating life get out, as in move out and away from your ex first.
  5. chai714
    No need to contact her while she's out of town. Keep your life busy and diversify your sources of happiness. She won't ever appreciate you if she finds you to be the guy that will always be there for her - instead, she'll take you for granted. This is not a stereotype, but rather human nature. Keep your butt busy and be a man about this - quit seeking her approval. Next time you see her, bust a move.
  6. chai714
    To answer your main question, no it's not wrong to date multiple people. As a general rule, you should assume the person you're dating is seeing 6 other people on the night they're not with you. If you're single, feel free to date multiple people. But know that it likely won't continue for any significant period of time because you'll naturally gravitate toward the person you like the most OR simply drop all of them. It can be fun and rewarding to keep a dating rotation going though. Not forever, but you might look back and be able to appreciate it for what it was at the time - a learning experience. Good luck and have fun.
  7. chai714
    There really is no other option other than to keep hush about this - just make sure you don't tell anyone else. Regarding the baby's health status - you don't know for sure whether he/she will be born without any complications. This is one I would play by ear - one, her preganancy will eventually be known and two, wait and see how the baby turns out. You can't really control or influence much else, given this situation.
  8. chai714
    It seems your therapist has a big ego - maybe he ought to check into seeing a therapist himself. From what you've said about him, it's enough for me to advise you to walk away from him. He seems to not be aware of how you feel or how to make you feel or think a certain way. The job of a therapist is to help you learn about yourself and help you find solutions to feel better about yourself. It seems this guy is doing the opposite and possibly because his ego is so enormous. I say this because he seems to love having so called, "authority" over people. Lose this guy as he is not helping you.
  9. chai714
    Save the dough. Remember at the beginning of a relationship, you're setting the standards and expectations for yourself. Also, what DiggityDogg said was right on.
  10. chai714
    Not really fair to label her "psycho", especially since youve continued contact. Remember, you once liked that "psycho." Lose the immature name-calling. Even if she is "psycho," don't ever tell anyone - they will find out on their own. Other than that, Dako is right on.
  11. chai714
    Around the waist or neck.
  12. chai714
    I can appreciate both Honey's and Agent's point of views. I understand why each of you feel the way you do. Many probably share your view and some might share my view too.
  13. chai714
    I disagree with Honey. It's wrong to have sex on the first date. There is no justification as to why it's right to have sex on the first date. The common "he/she made me feel comfortable, we had a great connection, the chemistry was awesome, etc" cliches don't cut it. On a first date, you hardly know the person. A stranger could possibly qualify as someone you "hardly know." thereforeeee, you're essentially having sex with a stranger. I understand people make decisions, but do they ever stop to think about what they're doing?
  14. chai714
    It's understandable you went "bareback" because it does feel better, I agree. It looks like you've been blessed by her period and because of the time period you decided to go bareback. But as far as next time goes, get her on some form of birth control if you don't want a kid - this way, a condom will serve as insurance against a kid. Have fun, but prepare before having fun.
  15. chai714
    It seems like you have pictured a low impact, eliptical machine. I've used one a few times and from what I experienced, it elevated my heartrate (not as much as running though) and also worked my quads. If you have bad knees, this machine would be ideal. But if you want a more efficient and effective workout, I'd go with a treadmill. Treadmills these days also minimize impact on your knees since they have some "play" and aren't as harsh as cement would be.
  16. chai714
    An effective tactic to date people who work in retail/restaurants is to become a familiar face. This can be done and it can be done easily. Only thing is it requires patience and "putting in time." Sure, you could ask the first time you see her but what is the efficacy rate? I would think the odds would be against you. It might be effective to go into there once every couple weeks or so and browse. Maybe ask her some questions (on a business level, maybe about product) then smoothly transition it to a personal level (how long have you worked here, do you go to school, and small talk). Soon enough, you will know her name and vice versa and then you can probably effortlessly get her number. From there, you write the ending to the story. I might add that at times, it would be good to go in the store and completely ignore her. Maybe acknowledge she's there but not say much and just walk out, but only after you two are familiar with each other.
  17. chai714
    Yes, it's ok to date multiple people but I don't believe it's right to sleep with multiple people. Once you begin to like someone though, you will likely drop other people you're dating and focus on what you like. This is human nature - when we like someone, we want to be around that person more. Between you and this other woman, he might be getting two different things from each of you. I'm only guessing that this other woman offers him wild, unpredictable encounters while he might have a stronger emotional bond and more in common with you. I would guess that you're more predictable and more consistent, in terms of your behavior whereas this other woman is not. I've been in a similar situation as the man you're seeing and I'd pick the one whose behavior is more consistent. The question then becomes, how can I make him want me and only me? It seems as if he doesn't value you enough to drop the other woman he's dating. So, if he doesn't value you then that means he does not appreciate you. And if you lose appreciation for someone, that means you take it for granted that it will always be there. I might try to appear as if his time with you may end, but not by using your words (NOT an ultimatum) but rather by becoming more aloof. This means you ought to limit your availability in order for him to appreciate you more and not take you for granted.
  18. chai714
    I don't think it's uncommon for people or men to look at porn - I think this is something many women encounter and many, like yourself oppose it. However, you have discovered that your husband is a member of many online groups which makes me think that it may be a problem. I'm not sure how you would effectively change his behavior but it might start with changing the way he feels about porn, which might be difficult.
  19. chai714
    I think the bigger question is why does it matter who it is? If they're not saying anything, it might as well be a supermodel, a janitor, or whomever else you want it to be (use your imagination). If it bothers you, quit answering. But if you're entertained by this anonymouse caller, continue answering and maybe one day they might say, "hello" back.
  20. chai714
    How someone feels about sex depends on how they feel about the person with whom they're having it. The sex spectrum might go like this: meaningful/emotional-----------------------------------strictly physical Love or strong liking .................................limited emotional bond
  21. chai714
    Juddy, Once you ended things, you should have walked. Since you didn't completely walk, she's now walking from you and it's upsetting you. It sounds like you should walk away completely from her, unless you can distinguish sex from emotions (difficult, but it can be done). At this point though, it seems as if human nature is getting the best of you - that is, you want someone who doesn't want you and rejection is the ultimate challenge. It makes humans want things they wouldn't ordinarily want. My final word to you is leave. You broke up with her and now she's leaving you for good, possibly for someone else. Remember though, you broke up with her first so you can't complain of having a heartbreak when you initially did this to yourself.
  22. chai714
  23. chai714
    Little Penguin, Nobody knows the situation like you do, or how he feels about you. We all speculate based on the information you've given us. To us, it sounds like you've got some pot-smoking, women chasing guy. To some degree, it might be true but only you can really judge what he is all about. I still don't recommend moving in with him especially since there is uncertainty in your relationship.
  24. chai714
    It all depends on what he likes. It doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, but as long as it's something that is unique and geared toward his liking, it would work. One of the best gifts I received was a pair of tickets to a Los Angelex Galaxy soccer game. It was over dinner and they were inside of a gift bag. It was special because it was something I liked, not what my woman liked. You might consider getting him something similar to what he likes and make it a surprise. Maybe even just tell him you're taking him to dinner and surprise him there. Good luck and have fun.
  25. chai714
    He seems to be trying to indirectly use him smoking weed again to manipulate her, as if she somehow caused him to start smoking it. This is manipulation, but in my opinion a poor and ineffective way to manipulate someone.
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