Okay. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now. We dated back in high school. I am now 28. She is 25. We are in a very serious relationship. We get along great, for the most part. Political disagreements and things like that can be hard to put aside sometimes, but we seem to manage. We definitely love each other. We spend an amazing amount of time together, great sex life, have fun together, feel comfortable when we are together etc.
She has an 18 month old girl. I already lover her like my own. At first I was intimidated by this, but now I can't wait to spend time with her daughter. Luckily, her daughter seems to love me. We all have a blast together. Sadly, her real father is almost completely out of her life (may actually be a good thing).
Anyway, to the point now. My girlfriend smacks her daughter's hands quite frequently and sometimes quite hard. I have seen her hands turn red after numerous smacks to the hand. My girlfriend usually does this when the child is doing something dangerous (electrical outlets etc.), but she also smacks her hand, when her daughter smacks her (not knowing that it is wrong). In one instance, her daughter smacked her in the face while what appeared to be playing, and my girlfriend came back with a very light smack to her face.
I don't have a child and I can't imagine what it would be like to be a single mother. I also don't claim to be an expert on parenting. However, I am against smacking of the hands and spanking. I think there are other ways to discipline, especially with a toddler. It breaks my heart to see her cry when she is smacked and it seems like she doesn't know why she is being smacked. Sometimes she smacks her mom right back on the hand, and mom can't figure out why. The answer seems obvious to me. I usually leave the room or remain silent when this goes on, so I think she has a hint on where I stand on the issue. And obviously, I never lay a hand on her daughter. I tell her no and then distract her.
So...do I remain silent? Like I said, we are very serious. We even talk about having another child together one day, which brings up a problem. I don't have much say in how she disciplines her child, but if one day we have a child together, I will be totally against any form of spanking and will make it a point to find alternative ways to discipline the child. I think my girlfriend is a great parent, but this issue is one I feel strongly about and one that I consider when thinking about my future with her and her daughter.
Sorry for the rant. Any advice? Should I bring it up? If so, how? I don't want to offend her...
Thanks for reading...
