Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'rebound'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Relationships
    • Dating Advice
    • Relationship Advice
    • Infidelity
    • Cyber Relationships
    • Friendship and Friends
    • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
    • Abuse and Violence
    • Long-Distance Relationships
    • Age Gap Relationships
    • Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
    • Trust and Relationships
    • Marriage/Long Term Relationships
  • Breaking up and Divorce
    • Breaking Up Advice
    • Divorce Advice
    • Getting Back Together
    • Healing After Break Up or Divorce
  • Personal Growth
    • Personal Growth
    • Career, Money and Education
    • Grief Loss and Bereavement
  • Families
    • Parenting and Families
    • Pets
  • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
  • Sex and Romance
    • Sex and Romance
    • Pregnancy
  • Emotions and Feelings
    • Emotions and Feelings
    • Jealousy
  • General Forums
    • Forum Assistance
  • Journals's Journals
  • Journals's Private Journals
  • Off Topic's Topics
  • Book Talk's Topics
  • Travel and Culture's Topics
  • Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics

Categories

  • Articles
  • Career & Money
  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Breaking Up & Divorce
    • Marriage
  • Personal Growth
  • Parenting and Families

Blogs

  • Articles
  • Youtube

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me

  1. Me and my ex dated for 16 months but within 2/3 days of him breaking up with me he’s got someone else, I think it’s a rebound but he’s saying I’m in denial and it’s serious. Now he keeps telling me about her and his plans to spend time with her, for example that he went shopping for clothes for their date, he then told me the whole date and the clothes he got for it, all without me asking. Do you think he’s doing it because he wants me to feel like he’s moved on or is he trying to make me jealous? I would want to get back with him, but I don’t know whether to do no contact or stay and show him what’s he’s missing. If you think no contact, could you give me some advice on what to do I.e. do I open his messages and leave on read or just not open, do I look on his social media like his snapchat story etc. Thanks for the help and advice. P.s. I’m 17 and he’s 18
  2. I will try and make this short. Been with this girl for 14 years. We have a 12 year old daughter. The ex receives a text asking if she’s single from a co worker” asking for a friend” she laughs it off saying who would be interested in me? A few days later she gets all lidded off with me over a YouTube video of a girl in a bikini, which I didn’t watch, it auto played into the next video which was that one. She got mad for days very cold and distant. Then says we need to talk. I knew what was coming. She starts crying and says she doesn’t love me anymore it’s been like that for awhile and she’s been thinking of this for some time now. I was shocked by everything she said. Father day was a few days prior she wrote me a loving card telling me how she loves me and wants us to work things out no matter what, all that stuff. But while she’s sitting there breaking up with me telling me to move out I’m so confused how she loved me a week ago but stopped loving me awhile back. Anyways, I move out while I have no job due to covid and no where to go. So I sleep in my car. A few days later my daughter messaged me says that she found somethings on her moms computer. The ex had been looking up how to please a guy. 🤦 my daughter should be seeing that stuff. I go over and confront her and start throwing out co workers names. She starts laughing. Weird because we know she starts laughing when she gets nervous and put on the spot. Again starts crying so I leave. The next couple of days get worse. My daughter sees her texting quite a bit snd locks her phone and doesn’t let her use her phone anymore. Finds out her mom is buying sexy under wear and lingerie. And caught one day coming out of the bathroom topless after hearing her taking pictures. Most likely sending nudes. My daughter finally confront hers and tells her I know you guys are broken up I know you’re seeing someone else. Her mom told her we were just living desperate so that I get help with schooling, big lie. Even while she’s being confronted she lies and eventually admits to us being broken up and how she kicked me out. She denies talking to someone, so our daughter asks to see her phone and in front of her starts deleting texts messages. After that moment my daughter lost so much respect for her mom. Her mom sent our daughter away with her parents for the summer. I struggled to see her because she removed me from our bank account snd I was struggling finding a job. While she was with her grandparents the ex rarely saw our daughter, I’d push for her to go visit her. Our daughter would call her mom only to find out weeks later that she was being ignored because her mom was out parting getting drunk not going home to sleep. Our daughter was devastated. Her mom neglected her all summer lied to her countless times. And what makes it worse, the grama had and affair and here we are reparations history while the mom sides with the ex and my daughter is pushed aside stuck there with them not carrying that she’s being emotionally abused by her neglecting mother. I struggled so much to find a job but once I did all I could afford were hotels once in awhile so that my daughter could get away from them. Fast forward I now have a place of my own my daughter tried patching things up with her mom( who’s the grownup here) the mom tell her that she doesn’t regret lying to her, because she didn’t want to her our daughters feelings. My daughter can’t believe what her mom is telling her and all hell breaks lose. After trying to reconcile with her mom that neglected her and chose a single life over her and never bothered apologizing. She had enough and ripped up our family picture, they’re cheap prints and we have the digital files so I want bothered. Her mom threatens to send her to her parents again but until she’s 18! So I intervene and pick up my daughter and she’s been living with me ever since.(Oct 28th,2020) a week later it’s our daughter birthday and her mom wishes her such a loveless birthday. “Happy Birthday” the ex is one of the happiest, jolliest prettiest smartest hard working person is ever met. She’s gorgeous and everyone loves her. They say she’s too nice. But if they only knew how she is behind closed doors. Complete opposite, she’ll eat us alive. She messaged me on our daughters birthday saying that she changed the house lock becuse she doesn’t trust our daughter there alone. Great now our daughter waits in the complex clubs houses restroom until I can pick her up after work. She’s in there 4 hours!!! I’m here dealing with our daughters broken heart while her mom is out drinking doing who knows what. So I snap and tell her off and tell her that I’m done talking with her, we don’t need her in our life and I’ve lost respect for her as a mom. Btw she’s a RN Nurse. Her career is based around caring for other and she can’t even care for her own daughter, someone she carried around for 9 months and struggles two days to reliever. I don’t get it. My mom was a single mom and taught us that kids come first. She made that known to any guy she met. Very up front. If I were doing this, my mom would call social service on me and do everything she could to remove my daughter from me. But my ex mom believes your needs come first, and you can buy back their love with expensive gifts and eventually they’ll just forget. Play the victim everyone will come to your aid 🙄 🖕 them both. So because I told her off and told her not to message me. Told her on Nov 24th. She messaged our daughter. Our daughter basically told her off too. Saying she’ll never change and how she’s never apologized. Her mom says I’m sorry for how I made you feel. My 12 year old daughter says, that’s the problem, you never apologize for what you’ve done or regret anything you’ve done, you show no remorse. Her mom then says I’m sorry for what I did, I regret it. Never specified what exactly she’s talking about. My daughter hasn’t replied since. She says, we don’t need her, all we need is each other, I forget she even exist. Hopefully someone with something similar can give me some insight on our situation or just advance in general. There’s days that I feel like I’m going crazy here. We’re completely alone. Even more so with covid. The way my ex has been acting drives me mad sometimes. I don’t get why’d she’s turned so cold. I can get that she lost love for me and met someone during work and left me for him. But to do this to our daughter? She has made a complete 180. Didn’t like going out, drinking, swearing, or having friends or even watching anything with nudity. And now it’s likes anything goes. Forgot to mention. Her mom went 3 weeks without checking in on our daughter. I kept track. So when I told her off I brought that up. So now every Monday on cue she’ll message our daughter saying. How are you? LOL wow. Almost like her way of saying you see I do check in. My ex has turned into a total piece of crap, so toxic. She even says in not available 24/7. Let me know a day in advance to see if I’m available. You’re a mom!!! You’re job is to be available 24/7 for our daughter. My daughter wanted to pick up a sweater from her house, since she changed the locks we had to make an appt because the ex didn’t reply to us for 2 days. I can now officially say that this has been my lowest point ever. Cheated on, homeless, no money, no food, showering at the beach, not sleeping. Losing 40 lbs in 2 months. Seeing my daughter soul being torture and not being able to help her because I have nothing to offer her! I’ve been doing my best with what I have, and we’re in a better place now. Just every once in awhile I get angry and feel like I still don’t get why all this happened and why her mom to this very second is still absent. She’s a completely different person, we have no idea who this person is, but we want nothing to do with her. Sorry for ranting, it actually helped to get this off my chest after not having anyone to talk to.
  3. Ok, you guys. Short backstory: Met a girl while she was vacationing in my country, she had just broken up with her bf that day, but we hit it off, she was overly affectionate with me, and within 5 days I told her I loved her. We said we were one another's soul mates, we would post love letters back and forth to one another, and things like that. She ended up coming back to my country 4 months later to spend time with me. We had a blast! We have an 18 year age difference between us, she is 30. None of her accounts online are suspicious in any way and she is very much a real person (the first time she was here I met her family members who she was traveling with, and they all have online accounts connected to hers). I posted about the full story in another thread if you are curious to read it. One letter in particular she sent me was very moving, it was about 60 words long, and professed her love for me, and how we are soul mates; I was the first one to introduce this idea into our relationship and I thought she felt the same. This was one of the letters that I really felt showed how deeply she loved me. But a couple of days ago, I found that exact letter, word for word, on a mildly "internet-famous" person's social media account. It was a love letter that person had written for their partner! My gf had copied and pasted it to me as if she wrote it especially for me. I've spent the last couple of days under the weather upon finding this out. I don't know what to do at this point. When I first read it I knew for sure I must break up with her, and I felt betrayed. I felt I was really a rebound and she was just posting me whatever nonsense she could find to keep me hooked, filling her voids with my affection and a fantasy of romance, using someone else's words to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. But after some days have passed, I feel like maybe she had read that and thought of me and it was the most accurate way for her to express her feelings for me, and so she sent me it. Kind of like how a greeting card already has the sentiment inside? Or, that she just didn't know how to express her feelings perfectly in that way so borrowed it from somewhere else. She had posted it in response to a social media post I made for her for our 2nd month anniversary. As of now, I am still active in the relationship because I am not sure of what really is going on here, she sends me text messages throughout the day about how much she misses me and wishes she could be here with me so I lean towards this not being sinister in nature BUT there's still the very real fact in my mind that she told her ex she wanted to try again in the future, which naturally sheds some doubt on her believing we are "soul mates." Though, we have begun tagging any social media posts regarding us as "soulmates." I am split between 3 things. (1) Cutting contact, unlikely (2) Being present but understanding she may ghost me at any time, probable (3) Realizing that maybe she was confused the first couple of months due to her breakup and made some choices that could appear bad, but actually represented her deep feelings for me. Most likely One thing that consistently goes through my mind is the possibility that even if in the beginning I was a rebound, or she was over-exaggerating to fill a void, she very well may now be falling for me in spite of earlier poor choices. I now understand we moved very fast, and maybe she just did not have a handle on it, but people can fall in love over time. If I just assume she is using me and I break up with her, I will miss out on a budding relationship. What do you think?
  4. I'm still dealing with my own issues right now, but I'm curious about the feedback from the folks on ENA regarding monkey branching relationships. I was listening to Dating Guy recently and he was talking about how most ex's who move on via monkey branching don't come back. I am still holding onto the hope that in about one year or two maybe my ex might reach out to me again if I've improved on myself enough to become the superhuman person I want to me. So, ENAers - many say that rebound relationships don't last - but what about monkey branching ones? Of course, I'm hoping it's the same as a rebound, but I know that's not the case. Please post your thoughts/experiences down below. Maybe some of you can give me some hope - and maybe some of you might give me a dose of reality
  5. and they start regularly initiating texts and calls saying sorry they've made a really bad mistake and they want you back. Any advice please? thanks
  6. dark music dark shadows as i unfold the deepness of my voice smothered in a dark ocean of waves rocking back and forth on a cold white cap that circlulates the ice in my veins i bleed the crimson tears from the pores of my body as the streams are hidden under my skin i am fine i am within the holy water no longer works i am a rebound of the holyness the sin the punishment i am fine within send me to hell...
  7. Hi, Can anyone tell me about the rebound relationships or what that's all about or it's just some stereotype that people believe in? I was with my ex for almost three years and we broke up about two and a half months ago. Up until last week I was still pretty broken up about it, i even did something stupid and wrote him a letter. Anyway, he wrote back a letter where it was pretty much clear that he saw no future with me even though he still loved me so this guy that I met about three weeks ago asked me out last week. I had felt some sort of chemistry build up over these short weeks and I always looked forward to seeing him. We even had some group outings with friends. I accepted the date but then realized that I wasn't ready for it. (I know, i can't stand those girls either), I called my friends and had painful talks wherein this light bulb went off and I realized I had to stop pining for my ex. As the week rolled by and my date approached I felt like maybe I needed to cancel it, since it wouldn't be fair to this guy if I was unsure. We saw each other in the library the night before and apparently my girlfriend had talked to him about me being out of a relationship and how I was still messed up about it. He told me that I could get out of the date if I felt too pressured, that he knew about my ex and that he just wanted to get to know me better. I agreed to see him but to let things go really slow and casual. Well, my date was great! He's been on my mind for a couple of days, he's asked me out again and when I think about my ex I don't get that pang of pain, or even sadness. I'm just afraid this could be the affect of a rebound situation and not because I'm moving on or genuinely interested in this new guy. Besides it was only one date. Then again, this guy is really great and I had been asked out often these last weeks and he's the only one I even considered saying yes. see where it goes or doesn't go? He brought up the subject of my ex and seems to be understanding although maybe it's an act, as I don't know him very well. He's a friend of a close friend and she completely vouches for him though. Okay, that's enough over-analizing for now. What do you guys think?
  8. Alright, I've taken a habit of going out pretty much every weekend. I'm pretty drunk at the moment, about 45 minutes ago, I was in a nightclub packed with people, and I just can't bring myself to approach girls. I'm still much too in love with my ex-gf. This is really blowing my chances at getting a rebound because if I see a good looking girl, instead of making a move, I sit there and think of my girlfriend. Err. I meant ex-gf there. It's getting really hard to type without typos. It's funny how you guys read one sentence and yet I rewrote it 3 times to make sure there were no typos. As always, I'm not even sure there's a point to this email.
  9. Last night, my boyfriend of almost a year were sharing personal stories. I don't know how we got onto the topic, but we started taking about men who become infatuated with women and want to buy them things and take care of them. Well, i decided to share a story with him that I never share with anyone b/c I think it's a little unlike me and it sounds a little crazy. Tell me if I'm being hard on myself. He's know me to only have serious relationships and sleep with relatively few who are close to me. Needless to say, I've had this one crazy relationship. During my senior year in college, my boyfriend and I broke up. I met someone who lived out of town (who used to live in my city) at a bar. We had great conversation- he was intelligent, artistic, well-read, good looking. He asked to take me out to dinner the next evening and at first I told him it wasn't a good idea since he was leaving to go back home and that I wasn't that kind of girl. Well, he promised that he wouldn't try anything and then I agreed. Well, we had an amazing time and then we kept in touch for two months over the phone. He kept begging me to come and visit and I told him no. I was just about to graduate from college and he offered to fly me out to visit him and he wanted to take care of everything. For a while, I deliberated, wondering if this guy was a psycho. I talked to his parents, sister, friends, etc... over the phone to make sure this guy was okay. Plus, this guy had been friends with one of my exes friends who I knew well. I set ground rules before I left. Gave all of my friends his parents number and his, etc...and I told him I would not sleep with him. He agreed. He told me he felt something very strong and he wanted to explore our relationship a little more. Plus, his parents were married within three days of meeting and they are still in love together. and i guess I was a little restless and on the rebound. So, after a long time of him asking me to come out there, I did. He paid for everything. I was only supposed to stay for two weeks and then it turned into a month. I had an amazing time. But I was on the rebound and wearing rose-colored glasses. I was stupid and this guy was asking me to move out there, etc... which I told him was crazy. I feel kind of embarrased- almost like he bought me to go out there. Even though we didn't really do anything, I feel stupid for even letting him pay. I think I shared a little too much detailed info with my boyfriend. He kept asking questions about what we did sexually, etc... and I couldn't lie at this point. We didn't have sex but fooled around and slept in the same bed and my boyfriend kept asking specific details. My boyfriend is conservative when it comes to women and is a little religious. he's liberal in other respects, but he thinks women should wait until they get married and really conserve their bodies. he also knows I have a tendency of rebound relationships. He now says that it's a habit of mine not to be alone and I jump from one relationship to another. I'm sensing he thinks I'm a little pathetic in that regard. I also sense he's pulling away a little, thinking that he's not special since I have fallen prey to stupid men. On the contrary, I am very picky, but yes, fear being alone and stay in relationships that are going nowhere. As you know, men like competition and he thinks I just settle to be with anyone and I feel that he thinks he's not special. Well, this is not true! Yes, I've had a few rebound relationships which were complete mistakes, but that was to heal. Yes, it's hard to be alone. but those I get involved with seriously have always been great people. Needless to say, I think he's beginning to lose repect for me, which is now a huge issue in a relationship. how do I regain his respect? A lesson to everyone. Don't share stories about your past with current boyfriends. Honesty doesn't bring you closer- it only drives you apart.
  10. makes you realize even more that what you had was great Well i havn't had a dream about her in a long time. The ones i've had was with her gone, out of site, like she was a memory to me even in my dreams, liek a lingering presense that was there in some spiritual capacity but never a character in my dreams. I just woke up from the most painful one. I go to dinner at my grandparents and my mom invites her to dinner. I get upset and say how shedosn't deserve to be a part of my life because she's not mygirlfriend. But then she goes and tells me i was right breaking up was a mistake, and starts to kiss me but i keep saying no this is a dream, no this is a dream and she says no it's not. but yes it was. I wake up cursing and moaning. some days i feel better but my feelings for her don't die. not even a little. I just had a sort of emotional rebound, i was surprised t find myself attracted to someone. allthewhile i came to the realization that she was really not my type and i was attracted to the thoughtof not being alone rather than to her. I realized how when she started to playmind games that i could notdeal with her.My ex NEVER would have done that.she neverdid. she was the sweetest person, just not strong enough or secure enough to handle our reationship. and i was so insecure that i created drama and picked fights without realizing it as a way of having power over her, she was right about one thing, we were two good people but wesomehow hurt eachother. it's such a tragedy and i know that if she really loved me as much as i loved her where is she now? I can't continue to berate myself for the mistakes i made in the past but if only she had faith that i've grown so much stronger and aware now maybe things couldbe better. But i can't convince that to her. i can't even bear to speak t her it hurts so bad. she wants to be friends some day. i'll never settle for that IT's sucha shame things have to be this way.
  11. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up a month ago. Within the first week we were broken up he was seeing someone else. This women is older and has a child and this is so out of the ordinary for him. I just don't understand how you can be in a relationship for two years and then break up and one week be back into another relationship. He says it isn't serious but i thnik it is. She is always at his house and i had to stop by to pick my stuff up and he had a picture of the little boy on his coffee table. The odd thing is he calls me last week says he misses me and all kinds of other stuff. He said the new girl was mad becasue he still had a picture of me up in his bedroom...don't know if this is true or not. He wants to be friends but if he is already in this new serious relationship that won't work. he hasn't even had time to get over our two year relationship. I just don't understand. Do you think this is a rebound and will it work. the woman he is now dating has had a thing for him for a while. He would tell me this becasue she worked in a bank where he would pick up money and she was always flirting with him. I feel like he just jumped into a relationship with her becasue someone was showing him some interest. I can only hope and pray this is a rebound and won't work becasue he hasn't had time to get over me. Advice needed please
  12. This goes out to all the guys in california around L.A county. If u guys are tired of feeling like crap and thinking that all this was ur fault man we're on the same boat. If ur friends are lame like mine are and are of really no help in the sense of going out and meeting people(females) then hit me up. (ace90650@link removed) I would like to start a sort of a frienship club u know were u just chill with guys that know and feel what ur going through. Kinda gay I know but hey us guys need this sort of stuff to. So guys if ur ready to stop or want to stop feeling like the world has no meaning without her then we can all help each other out.
  13. hi my name marianne i recently 2 months broke up with my ex boyfriend of 6yrs cause he kept on hitting me and didnt like me having male friends anyways i managed to get over him it was just the mermories haunting me that made me miss him recently i over heard that he had a new gf first of of all i was shocked that he got over me quickly and half thinking that it was just a rebound but then i also found out that he had been seeing this girl for the last 6 months and also she is one of his ex gfs sister which made me sick she is 19 im 22 and hes 27 i thought i was doing okay till i get find out this shit why did i get cheated on and at the same time i was getting called a slut by him and getting hit all the time by him and why did he ruin my life by lying to me i feel like crying of the shit ive beeen thur recently we were the best couple b4 this shit happens ive tried going night clubbing meeting other guys but somehow it always gets messy or i just mess up. i dont know if i will find the right guy ive had other guys just muck me around and they dont know what shit ive been thur or how it feels someone help me plz Marianne
  14. I'll start with steak and work my way up to gravy. How about it?
  15. well, today i put everything my ex boyfriend ever gave me back into his locker and i just got put into his dance class. well he said he wanted to talk to me so while everyone was dancing we went and sat on the bleachers. well it prob. wasn't a very pretty sight for anyone watching us 'cause we were in a pretty big fight. well half way into our dicussion i was telling him about how that birth controle made me all phyco and how badly my ex hurt me. well and how badly i messed up and how bad i am sorry and still love him. well he was like you can't even be nice and i was all yes huh, im a lot better now, it's just i don't know how to act when im around you anymore expecialy when you act like you hate me. he told me he didn't hate me and i asked if i could just have a chance to show him that i was getting mentally better. he said the reason we broke up was because he couldn't take it anymore. well he says that he will start to hang out with me again and see how i act. so is he kind of giving me another chance to fix everything? it seems to me that sense he has only been dating the barbie for 1/2 a week and i think it is only rebound that maybe if everything goes well that he may be taking me back. well im a little confused has this happened to anyone here and turned out good. well thankyou fro all of your replys. Love Qtpie87 8)
  16. Seems like in 8 out of 10 postings about breakups here, the women is usually the one that has a new relationship before the guys do. Is there a reason why women can move on quicker? Do they just heal much quicker or is it just easier for them to get dates as they don't need to be as proactive whereas a guy has to make an effort?
  17. Hey all, I would usually see past the B.S. But I haven't been in this type of position before. This girl who I've known for about a year because we met at work and then she was with my best friend for 8 months. I would have never thought me and her would have feelings now 4 1/2 months after their breakup ( on his accord ) but he still wanted her. She didn't feel the same way and finally had the courage to not fear his reaction have closure so she can end the pain and stress that was brought onto her and so he can finally move on for himself. She's said she wanted her space which wasn't given. She's dated numerous guys, and she became intimate no sexually with another guy as well, but she decided for herself that she didn't want that. We, as friends talked frequently but just as friends. But recently we went out and something happened. I never thought it would happen but I would have liked to in the beginning but couldn't and didn't want to because of my position. She said and feels the same and somehow she see's something in me, now, honesty is something we agreed on, should I ask her what it is because I'm confused. or am I another rebound relationship for her? How can I tell the signs? I can't tell. help
  18. About 8 Months ago, I decided to breakup with my GF of two years. The breakup was horrible.. both her and I saying things we didnt mean to eachother. Friends, who were mine first, took sides. I felt I was the bigger man to leave that group of friends so I could move on with my life. Having her around would only prolong the pain. I made new friends, had a summer of 'sin' to say the least. Two rebound relationships, now I've found someone who I have a connection with. However, after finally discussing events with the 'old friends' I've discovered that she's with an accquaintance of mine.. aka a friend of mine. This really disturbes me, because its a betrayal of friendship. I was at a point I wanted to come back into the circle of friends. Now, when I heard this information am now at a loss as to what to do. He's nothing like what she wants. I've become such a better person because of what happened to me. I accepted blame for my wrongdoings, I decided never to make them again. In therapy I worked on my issues and can honestly say I'm a better person because of what happened. For her, she blamed me for everything and has'nt worked on any issues. The guy she is now with is not an absolute match. I feel as if she's comfortable with him, but not really what she wants. She's scared to go after what she's really looking for. I really wanted her to improve and date up.. not down.. I feel as if this is a rebound relationship for her and she's only doing it to maintain the circle of friends. I wish I could be friends with her and help her but she hates me so much... why is she still angry after all this time ? I guess I'm at a loss as to what to do. I could go and get those friends back and they've encouraged me to hangout. But it puts them in an awkward spot because of her. She is very immature. I think they are starting to see what a bad person she is. But the twist is their friend is seeing her now. Perhaps she's done this to maintain herself in the circle of friendship? Should I take back whats really mine? Or should I just move on with myself. I admit seeing her with him would hurt me initially, but I do have someone else.. I just dont want to step on anyone's toes. JT
  19. Hi and thanks for reading---Please post your advice! We met a year ago and fell in love w/each other. I was a rebound tho, he and fiancee (of 2 yrs) had broken up just 1 or 2 months before I met him. After 3 months he was confused w/old feelings for ex and went back to her. They've had a rocky go of it over the past months and he'd call me from time to time feeling miserable. He'd tell me he loved me, missed me, wanted me, etc. I told him that after he broke it off with her and had some time alone to heal, he could call me. He called (~4 months ago?) and i went out w/him 2 times. I asked no questions--just let him be himself to see how he'd handle himself. He didn't call back and I came out of it feeling like a booty call (no, I didn't give him anything physical other than a kiss/hug.) He called last week, said they'd been broken up for 2 months. I told him how happy I was for him and congratulations! But I also let him know that I had no need for a booty call and that if he wanted to be with me I needed him to be respectful of me. My emotions have been thru the wringer with this guy. Since he called last week, i can't get him out of my mind. I've felt like our relationship didn't have the chance to go the full course and I still harbor some hope. Being the "rebound" scares me. His initial break up w/me to go back to her hurt me so deeply and took a long time to heal from. I realize that part of my reaction is ego based, yet again, I don't want him to think that he can use/discard my feelings so easily. In his past calls he would tell me that he missed ME. This time he acted all confident about his life and simply said that he was lonely. I don't know whether to think it's me he wants or if anybody will do. He didn't outright apologize for not contacting me after the last time when we saw each other twice. He did say that I could kick him in the head when I saw him. Since our talk, he hasn't called back. So, these are my questions for you lovely folks: (if you're wondering, I still love him, have dated and found myself comparing guys to him only, want him terribly, am just scared to go there again) 1. Do you think I'm just the rebound again? 2. Should I continue to wait for him to contact me again or call him? I've been waiting for him to contact me again as that would show me that he's serious about ME. 3. He's an emotionally sensitive guy and I'm sure that it took some courage to call me...did I crush him? Should I have just welcomed him with open arms again? Friends and family tell me I'm crazy to even consider going back with him after all he's pulled me thru. Love is crazy, huh? Thank YOU so much for reading and please please respond!
  20. Well here is my story. I just broke up with my bf 2wks ago and we were going out for 2.5 yrs. (he is 24 and I 23). I broke up with him because things weren't going right. He was being mean to me and what not. Just a terrible relationship. Also it was Long Distance and he wasn't talking about the future or anything. So I ended it. The hardest thing I ever I had to do. Out of no where I meet a really great guy. I wasn't even looking. Do you think it is too soon? I am really starting to enjoy this guys company. I don't want to screw him over at all. I just don't know how to tell when I am ready or not. Any suggestions?
  21. Okay, here goes nothing... I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years a few days ago. I am having a hard time, and of course this is not the first relationship I've had that hasn't lasted. I'm just tired of feeling awful and want to be happy again. But I know that I have rushed this process in the past, and so I don't know if I've ever had "closure." This time I want to have it so I can move on without any second thoughts. So here are my current second thoughts... I want to vent a little and get others' opinions to make sure I'm not crazy or just plain dumb. My now-ex is a real sweetheart. He's one of those "good guys" that hasn't, and I still don't believe ever would, lie or cheat to someone. However, he's older than me (almost 40, while I'm almost 30), and still lives with his mother. He also has a daughter that he doesn't have contact with (long story). I ignored these initial warning signs when I met him - I believe maybe because I was on rebound from a past relationship. Yet I grew to really love him. We were very compatible, with similar interests and communication styles. But when I found out that he had accumulated tens of thousands of dollars in debt in just one year (while we were dating), I started to have doubts about his maturity. What tipped it over the edge was he recently got his license suspended due to too many tickets. I understand that this can happen to a lot of people, but I was already doubting our relationship, and I didn't want to feel like I had to take care of him like I would a child. The thought of driving him places made me think that I would resent him. I don't know. Maybe I'm just selfish, and this makes me feel really awful. So my question is... Am I dumb for letting a "good guy" go (in terms of treating me well, etc.), or am I crazy for not being able to hold on to a relationship? These may or may not be questions you can answer, I know. Thanks for reading my looonnng post, and any thoughts are appreciated!
  22. Hi, I have strated the process of separation with my wife (2 months ago) and I feel that I have already found the woman of my dreams. We have known (been attracted by) eachother for a year now. My marriage was unfulfilling and unloving and it was my wife who called for a separation. I was prepared and secretly hoping for it and now I feel unscathed and generally a lot happier. One scary thing is that my new love interest is as strong in the head as my ex. But, she is warm, loving and caring which my ex never was. Am I attracted to the same attributes in women. Do I have certain core desires or am I trying to repeat my mistakes. The only doubts that I have are that I have no doubts. I am scared that I have been affected more deeply than I think. Logic tells me this is the case but my heart tells me to get on and enjoy the feelings that I am having. One thing's for sure, I have never felt like this before! It feels like, for the first time, I am truly in love!
  23. Some quick backstory - I recently started dating a girl that I previously knew casually through a mutual friend of ours. Said mutual friend has been wanting to get us together for some time now, but the timing was never right since we were never both available at the same time. We first started talking about 6-7months ago when I was fresh out of a long term relationship - but not being ready to seriously date yet and not wanting her to just be a rebound, I didn’t pursue. While I worked on getting my self back into a good place she got into a relationship herself, that ended very badly. She reached out to me and we started to date. I didn’t know the circumstances of her breakup or the exact timeline until just recently, but our first date was only a week or 2 after the end of her previous relationship. Over the course of a month we went out a few times, and things were really going great. I met her family, she met mine and we were having a lot of fun together. Then last week she tells me that despite all of this, she wasn’t ready to date yet because she hasn’t given herself time to heal from the breakup, even though she badly wanted to be. Totally understandable, it wasn’t too long ago that I was in the exact same place so I knew where she was coming from. What I can’t figure out is if I was the rebound or did she not want me to become the rebound? I’m not going to chase her, and I’m not going to put my life on hold and wait for her, but is there any chance of resuming what we had if our paths connect down the road? Or have I been relegated to being the rebound guy and that’s it?
  24. Just wanted to know if anyone has any advice regarding my situation as I massively struggling. My boyfriend of year and a 4 months broke up with me with little reason aside from it getting too serious too quickly , i guess he was afraid of the commitment of me. I was beside myself at the end of the relationship but determined to remain in control and dignified. I spent around 4 months with no contact from him and then entered into a casual fling with another person who made me forget about my situation and how i felt but only temporarily. This 'rebound' situation did get too involved, we went on dates and sleep together, whilst I was receiving messages from my ex saying that he missed me. At this point I was angry more than anything that it took my ex to see me try and move on before he tried to get me back. During this time I never felt involved with the 'rebound' person I felt very detached and unhappy and found myself constantly thinking about my ex. I cut things off with the 'rebound' person admittedly I let it carry on for too long I was just so focused on trying to prove that I was strong and didn't need my ex. But it was so far from how I actually felt and I just can't understand how I went through with it now looking back I got back in contact with my ex and he found out about what had happened and it has destroyed him. He tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me but he cannot let it go and understand that it really was a terrible mistake. But a mistake that I made as a result of his decision. He doesn't believe anything I say anymore and we argue about it a lot. I really want to be with him and desperately clinging on to hope that eventually it will get easier and he will accept it but it's hard to see at the minute. Has anyone had a similar situation or any advice?
  25. 10 months after our breakup and broken engagement he marries this new girl. Similar stories anyone? Ps. I was the dumper.
×
×
  • Create New...