chai714
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Everything posted by chai714
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There's no need to recycle women amongst you and your friends. I say walk away from her for now. I don't see how your buddy would be ok with you seeing his ex and you two keeping you guys' friendship.
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Fast, For some unknown reason, she's not responsive to your attempt to kiss her. She will be intimate and let you "hold her" but not kiss her, which can often be confusing. I recommend spending less time with her if not walking altogether. It's not your job to figure out why she won't kiss you - it hardly makes sense. This would drive any man crazy.
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Wow, that was a long voicemail. I agree with Beec regarding your overall attitude. You weren't a wuss about it and you did display confidence and control.
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Mutha, Bringing someone new in the picture will complicate your life. Hold that off until you make a decision to continue this relationship or not. As far as deciding to have a child or not - this isn't easy. As someone else previously stated, it should not be about a compromise. It should be 100% we both want a child or nothing at all. Of course, that would be in an ideal world.
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When I walk away from a woman, it's usually forever. After having dated them long enough to cut them, I'm done with them. As far as them coming back into the picture and calling me, I'd probably talk to them. However, if they were to get recapture my interest they would have to change their game. If you can learn to seduce a man in such a way that you get him to chase you while slowly walking away from him then you've got him. Creating the desire can be difficult but I also don't know any man who isn't tempted by sexual desire.
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That's not HM, that's being needy. Needy people always feel as if they can't get enough assurance from their S/O that they're wanted. This usually stems from being an insecure person. Now that you've recognized your behavior pattern, what can you do? Train yourself and keep your mind occupied. Remember that neediness is a very unattractive trait.
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How old are you? How old are these girls?
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Juliana, You're never obligated to forgive anyone for anything. Forgiving someone is something we humans do to achieve inner peace. And, if you have decided to forgive him, that doesn't mean you have to talk to him ever again. In fact, if you see him again and decide to walk by him like you never knew him, that's fine as well. It's all about you and how you feel - not him. If you have animosity towards him - fine. It happens. Over a period of time however, your wounds will heal up and the emotional pain will subside. For now though, don't feel obligated to say "hi" or even acknowledge his existence. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way.
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Library, It's easy become upset, frustrated, and worried when you're emotionally down. Often times, people think, "my life is going to be like this, forever!" This simply is not true. There are some really good people in the world believe it or not - there are men who won't cheat, men who are family-oriented, and men who will respect you. Conversely, there are men who will sleep around, men who will have children with multiple women while deceiving each of them and men who don't respect themselves. Don't ever think you're trapped or that you don't have a choice. Just because there may not be your ideal person on the horizon right now doesn't mean that you won't meet someone who more closely aligns with your ideal mate down the road.
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Warra, It seems that when you get denied sex, you suppress those feelings then become passive aggressive. In other words, you're mad about it and will take it out on her in other ways but not let her know that you're upset about it. Figure out a way for her to compromise with you. Don't let your sexual frustrations end your relationship. Be reasonable when it comes to the frequency of your sex life. Sure, some men desire it 3 times a day but there's got to be middle ground and it ought to be communicated to her. Do not keep this inside, talk about it with her.
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I think your post reveals that not only do you have an ideal man, but everyone has particular traits and personality types they prefer. I have found in my experiences that what women want and what attracts them are often very different. Otherwise, real "bad boys" would never get dates.
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You're talking to a guy who abandoned you immediately after discovering you were pregnant. What does that tell you about him? This isn't about love, it's about committment to your husband. This other man does not love you if you haven't figured that out.
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PhD Diagnosis of Separation Anxiety
chai714 replied to ramsickle1369's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
When you develop these spontaneous anxiety attacks which leave you feeling "empty," are you saying that these just randomly occur and that they are not the result of any particular event? I think it's normal to feel somewhat empty when someone you like leaves you. That part I think everyone can agree with - nobody likes being left and it will affect their emotions to some degree. Thank you for sharing your experience. Hope things get better for you soon. -
Yes, I agree that what he's doing will injure his self-esteem. My post was about how he feels though - not about any consquences or whether or not his behavior is righteous.
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While it's easy to be critical of TommyBoy's actions, it's more difficult to get inside of his head and see the situation as he sees it. Here we have a man who met a woman, (it does not matter where because his feelings are the same as if he had met her in a church) started to develop feelings for her and has developed an emotional bond with her. Whether or not she reciprocates these feelings don't affect him - he likes her anyways. She gives him something that he values highly and it makes him feel good - it gives him an emotional high. It's very similar to a boy who meets a girl and develops a crush on her. We all know that when we develop feelings for someone and especially strong ones, almost all logic goes out the window. Humans operate on emotions most of the time and not logic - this is human nature. I'm not saying it's right to cheat, but trying to understand how he feels the way he does and why he feels this way.
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If I've ever read an honest post, it's yours. And I sincerely say thank you for being honest. It seems like you would like to be this womans savior - you see the life she has, see that she could be much more and you personally want to take care of her - and you are indirectly, by dating her and getting your sexual fulfillment in return for your money. Now, is what you're doing to your wife fair? You already know that answer. I won't lecture you on how it's wrong to cheat, selfish, etc. You'll get that from many people. What I can say is wear protection (to protect your wife) and try to bring some of this exciting sex into your own bedroom at home (with your wife). I know this is all new and exciting but as you say, there's a price to pay for everything. Whether you realize it or not, you're digging a hole.
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Coffeegirl, I'm not a photographer but have been taking pictures with an DSLR (digital single lens reflex) camera for the past 8 or so months. I noticed you're shooting with an SLR (non-digital) after having visited the Canon website. I'm not completely familiar with the film development process but the mechanisms between my camera and yours are very similar. The only thing I can recommend is doing a search on "photography basics" for now. A decent site on the explanations of technical aspects of your camera is link removed As far as developing your own photos in a darkroom, I do not know. Hopefully someone else will know how who is a member of this forum. To further develop your skills, I would become a member of a photography forum (there are lots) and have them critique some of the photos you take. From there, you will be able to get input from other people which could help hone your skills. Good luck and enjoy your photos.
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Belladonna, My sister had a miscarriage last year and from what I hear, they're unfortunately very common. It shook her lots just like it did you and she was hesitant to try again. She had a lot of fear and anxiety when it came to getting pregnant again and rightfully so. In a sense, I can understand what you're going through and how empty you can feel inside after having such an unfortunate event occur. Keep positive if you do become pregnant again - my sister just had her 3rd child a couple weeks ago. Sorry to hear about your loss.
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He's a man and real men take care of their own business. This is his business and he needs to take care of it - for his own sake and yours. His fears and your fears will be alleviated once the truth is revealed. He ought to go purchase a pregnancy test, wait with her while she takes it, and then let you know the results.
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how to get rid of a obsessive past lover
chai714 replied to SeaBisquit's topic in Relationship Advice
All these comments about assaulting this guys crotch area are childish. Don't do it. I like Dako's idea of telling the bouncer. What strikes me about your story is that this "quality" guy went home with your friend. And if your friend knew you liked him, why did she go home with him? What kind of friend is that? Please re-evaluate what constitutes a "quality" man and a "real friend." -
Your boyfriend needs to set things straight here since it's his mess. His job is to give you peace of mind regarding this so he ought to address this alleged pregnancy with his ex. And if she really is pregnant, it's his job to communicate with his ex regarding decisions concerning this pregnancy.
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MySpace is NOT the most viable way to keep in touch. That's not true. 1. In person 2. Phone 3. Text Message/Email (not Myspace, but email) 4. Smoke signals
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He's trying to be a smooth talker or is just desperate. If I were to critique his game, I would say that his game does not exist.
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Jalys, In this case, it's best not to read those bulletins. She's open to telling other people about her past sexual experiences and it's something you can't handle right now. I can understand how you could feel bad about reading these things though. The thing is, she probably doesn't think twice about it which in a sense is wreckless (my opinion). From now on, keep MySpace out of you guys' relationship and focus on what you have with her now. Good luck.
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how to get physically attracted to someone you care about
chai714 replied to abbett's topic in Dating Advice
You're not a bad guy for feeling this way. You want what you want - we all have our preferences and yes, weight can be a preference - it is for me too. My only suggestion is that you could develop a bond through exercising together. Next time you two have a date, skip the concert and go for a walk in the park or even a jog. You seem to have some reason to believe she's trying to lose weight so this might help her and at the same time, build up her self-esteem. When you put in the time to help raise someone elses self-esteem, good things can happen. Good luck.