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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Haven't written in a long time, So this poem might be incoherent, But my feelings are clear, And my thoughts are fluent, On my quest to be a better person, I know I've slipped up many times, But the drive in me never stops, It climbs, The mind is dysfunctional, Poisoned by society, A dark muse for our ego, An enemy to sobriety, I want to be a better person, Burn bridges no more, I want friends not enemies, Be rich in the heart even if I'm poor, To change myself as a whole is a journey but, I'll never forget a saying by a teacher of mine, How do you eat an elephant? One piece at a time.
  2. Since I see there are other poets around this site...here's a poem I wrote when I was feelin' a bit cynical about school. The House of Academia Its got a high end paint job that’s for sure lines laser cut colors expertly chosen earth tones for the liberal arts black and white for the sciences behind the colors within the rooms words are prudently picked and spoken to the proper audience in the living room the undergrads speak excited words to everyone in the kitchen the grad students eat chinese take-out and speak serious words to the undergrads that drift in to cook Ramen the PhD candidates lock themselves in private rooms and mumble to themselves In the windowless attic The professors rehearse Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf? Over and over and over again as Elizabeth Taylor moves from room to room observes refuses to say i love you and pours herself another drink
  3. It is just such a small world. I attended a songwriting workshop and ran into my college professor/adviser! He was more embarressed than I was but we both got over it. I know I learned a lot in the workshop and I'm sure he did too.
  4. I did this story a few months ago, just found it. It's long. Feedback would be nice. I also know the grammar is quite poor, but it was a while back. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A story of a girl trapped in her own mind. *Random title, I know* Oh not today, please not today , Sian says to herself. Sian looks in the mirror, staring back at her is the image she thought she would never see again. Fat reflects, all over her body. I thought i smashed all the mirrors in this room! she screams to herself. Quickly, as no one looks, she smashes it apart, and throws rapidly in the bin. There, that ought to do it!, Sian says to herself. The clock ticks, and tocks, Sian looks up at it, she gasps, time passed by as she stood in the mirror glaring at herself. She quickly grabs a grape or two, and rushes off to school. As she enters the classroom, the whole room stares at her. Sian stands in front of the teacher explaining she fell over on the way to school and was very sorry. The teacher dismissed her, and Sian quietly sat at her desk. The teacher hands out everyone there individual test and sets the timer. 'Ready, children?' the teacher asks. She clicks the timer on, and awaits the buzzer to go off. 'Bzzzzzzzzzzzz' the alarm screeches. 'Right children, please finish the question you are on and remain seated until the bell rings' the teacher shouts over the alarm. Sian sits, covering up her stomach with her hands, clenching it trying to pull the fat out. Thinking and wondering if others can see the fat through her jumper, she daydreams.... 'DING DING' the bell alarms. 'Right children, please pass your papers to the front of the class and you may then leave once all are collected' the teacher says. Sian collects the person behinds paper, and stands up to give to the person in front, suddenly, her stomach shows while straining to pass it to the person. She gasps at the sight of it, she quickly covers it, and looks around to see if anyone seen it. 'Here' she says quietly to the person as she passes the papers. Running into the playground, she sits alone at the steps, tears form and drop as she sees other girls skinnier than her doing gymnastics. 'Why me, why must I be this shape, I truly hate it!' she mumbles to herself. 'Hey, HEY SIAN!' Jess screams. 'Hey, Jess' Sian replies. 'Why are you so figity?' Jess asks. 'No reason, i just feel a bit edgey today, thats all', Sian replies with a smile. 'Oh ok, want to play on the skipping rope for a while?' Jess asks. 'Um, no, but you can, ill watch you', Sian replies with a forced giggle. Jess takes the skipping rope from the box by the school door, and runs back to Sian with it. 'I bet i can do 50!' Jess says and giggles uncontrollably. 'Lets see then, this should be a laugh', Sian replies, smiling with her teeth showing. Jess skips to 10, 20, 25, 28, she falls. 'Ha, almost, 2 more and you'd of done it, eh?', Sian says and giggles. 'I'd like to see you try and do better!' Jess angrily mumbles. 'What was that?', Sian asks. 'Oh, nothing', Jess replies with a cheeky smile. 'Bzzzzzzzzzzzz' the alarm sounds. 'Breaktime over girls, come on, chop chop, in you go!', the teacher shouts. 'Oh no, not math!' Jess moans. 'Go on, i'll catch you before lunch', Sian pats Jess' back. 'Ok, see you', Jess shouts at Sian running down the corridor to her next lesson. 'Your late, this is the second lesson you've been late to today, Sian, get a grip of yourself, if you are late next time you will be given detention, understand me?' the teacher strictly shouts as Sian arrives 3 minutes after due time. 'Yes ma'am, sorry', Sian looks down. 'Get to your seat immediately!' the teacher screams at Sian. Sian places herself in her seat, and awaits the assignment. 'Class, today we are going to learn about the human body'. Oh great, be thankful its not my body on the chart, the paper wouldnt be big enough for my shape, Sian whispers to herself. Time goes on as Sian daydreams about herself being skinny, and modelling. Sian says to herself I will not eat another single thing, until my body is skinnier than the models i see in magazines. As the days pass, the food fills the cuboards. 'Why are you not eating, Sian?' Sians mum asks her as she arrives from school. 'I do eat, i eat at school, and i just had a really big takeaway!', Sian replies. 'Oh, ok, well, be sure to eat breakfast tomorrow lovey, you need the energy' Sians mum says firmly. 'I will, dont worry', Sian replies uncertainly. 'Where are you going?', Sians mum asks Sian. 'Nowhere, just to Jess', we are going to bake some cookies for tomorrows funfair at school!', Sian replies. 'Be sure to eat some, they will taste lovely coming from my number one cook!', Sians mum smiles as she opens the door for Sian. 'Have fun!', Sians mums shouts. 'I WILL!', Sian screams back half way up the street. Slowly, Sian browses the shop. She says to herself, I cant believe i lied like that. She buys a load of junk, preparing for tonight. She runs home, sneaks upstairs into her room, taking the mirror out, putting it on the floor, grabbing the bin, scoffing the junk into her mouth, trying to shut her growling stomach up. She chews, and chews, and swollows. Oh god, im so scared, Sian says to herself. She gets her two fingers, opens her mouth, pulls the bin near her, and looks in the mirror... tears run down her face as she purges the food up, choking, instantly gagging at each purge she attempts. I swear, if its the last thing i do, i will be beautiful and thin! Sian says to herself. Getting rid of the contents in the bin from her stomach, she wipes her face and weighs herself. Why am i so much? Sian says to herself with uncertainty. Days, months pass, and the starvation continues, the purging continues, the weighing, the counting calories, the diets, the exercising constantly, all continues... 'Bzzzzzz' Sians alarm buzzes. 'Oh dammit, im late!' Sian shouts. She quickly puts her clothes on, and rushes to school. She enters the classroom, and suddenley, she feels dizzy. 'Im.. sorry.... im....' Sian passes out, and faints on the floor. 'Sian?' , the teacher asks Sian. 'Sian, this is no time for jokes!', the teacher says. 'Someone get the nurse!', the teacher shouts. 'NOW!', the teacher screams. The class all run to the medical room and shout that Sian has fainted and they need the nurse. 'Sian, Sian can you hear me?', the teacher asks as she kneels down next to Sian. 'What happened here?!', the nurse asks. 'Sian came in, and she fainted, i have no idea why!', the teacher explains nervously. 'Ok, stand aside', the nurse demands. The nurse kneels and checks for Sians pulse. 'Shes quite pale', the nurse says with concern. 'Her pulse is rapid... call an ambulance, NOW!', the nurse demands. The ambulance arrives, they strap Sian up, and take her to the hospital. She is placed in the ward, and is oberserved for the night. She awakes in the morning... where am i? Sian thinks to herself. She tries to get up, but her bones give in and she lies back down. Why cant i get up? What happened? Whats wrong with me? Sian questions herself. The nurses come and check on her. They smile, and ask how shes feeling. 'I feel... weak and sick', Sian replies.'Well, dear, you will for awhile, we know what your doing', the nurses say. 'What im doing? What am i doing?', Sian questions.'Sian, hunny, starving yourself and making yourself sick, you havent ate in months, thats why you are here today, like this', the nurses reply with a quick smile. 'How would you know? I made myself sick once, and its not been months, i counted, i remember counting, i dont miscount!', Sian replies with anger. 'You did, your mother has kept an eye on you, alot, shes heard you making yourself sick several times, she tries her best to take care of you sweetie, i dont understand why a pretty girl such as yourself would do this', the nurse replies with tears forming in her eyes. 'Well, pretty, no, fat, yes, have you seen the fat on me?', Sian replies with tears already dropping from her face. 'Hunny, you've lost so much, you are not fat, you weigh less than the average weight!', the nurse raises her voice with tears dropping. The nurse refills the fluids. 'What are you doing? Dont do that, get off them!', Sian screams. Sian hits the nurse and tries to escape. 'SECURITY!', the nurse shouts, as she buzzes the alarm. Security restrain Sian as she tries to get out of bed. 'GET OFF ME!', Sian screams. 'Sian, we are doing this for your own good, im sorry', the nurse quietly tells Sian as she sticks a needle in her arm and injects with fluid. 'You'll... regret.... this....', Sian says just as she falls asleep. 'Where is she? Is she ok? I want to see her, i need to see her!' Sians mum worriedly says to the nurses. 'This way, ma'am, your daughter, Sian, is sleeping, you may be with her for a bit, but when she wakes, we must warn you, she may be violent, but we will be watching her and you, dont worry, she will be fine', the nurse warns her. The nurse leads her to the bed Sian lays on. 'Oh hunny', Sians mum quietly whispers. Placing herself on the chair next to Sians bed, she takes her hand, covered with tubes, and holds. 'Sian, hunny, if you can hear me, im so sorry, i love you, your my special, beautiful girl, i didnt know this would happen, i should of helped you', Sians mum says quietly to Sian, blaming herself for all the problems Sian has. Time passes, and the medicene wares off. 'Mummy?', Sian says quietly as she opens her eyes. 'Sian? Oh Sian, my baby girl, my darling!', Sians mum says with shock and happiness that shes awake, and hugs her like theres no tomorrow. Oh god, my stomachs showing! Sian says to herself. 'Mum, please, its only been 3 days', Sian says sarcasticly, covering her stomach up, she asks 'Mum, whats happening to me? Why am i here?'. 'Hunny, rest now, you need it, ill go speak to the doctors', Sians mum replies. Sians mum kisses Sians forehead, and gives her hand a squeeze before leaving the bed. 'Love you hunny', Sians mum whispers to her. 'Nurse, whats happening to my daughter?', Sians mum asks. 'Im afraid we need to tell you something', the nurse replies. 'Please, do go through', the nurse leads Sians mum into the councilling room, where three doctors sit, awaiting her arrival. 'Ah, hello, finally we meet', the doctor says. 'Well, regarding Sians condition...', Sians mum interrupts 'Condition?', 'Yes', the doctor replies, 'Sian as you may see, has lost alot of weight, and has been doing it through certain worrying methods. Starvation, purging, ect. There is a name for this. Sian has Anorexia Nervosa', the doctor says directly to Sians mum. 'Your saying, that my daughter, Sian, has anorexia?', Sians mum replies. 'Yes, we are very sorry to do this, but she will need to be hospitaliazed until her weight is at least average, and she starts eating again', the doctor announces. 'Of course, Sians health and safety must be controlled, but, shes my daughter!', Sians mum says with a tear dripping down her eye. 'We understand that, but your daughter could die from this ma'am, and we need to do this for her safety', the doctor says with a frown. 'Ok, i understand', Sians mum says, crying in her hands. 'We will need to take her immediately, and she will need to have a say in this too', the doctor says. Sians mum sniffles, as she walks over to Sians bed. 'Sian, hunny, can you tell me, what you think of yourself?', Sians mum asks. 'I think im... i think im... fat... and ... ugly... disgraceful.. horrible..gross...', Sian pauses in disgust with herself, and closes her eyes to avoid looking at herself, aswell as her mum. 'Sian, sweetie, you have a disorder, you have anorexia nervosa', Sians mum quietly tells Sian. 'I have what? No way, im fat, look, cant you see it, im fat!', Sian shouts and pulls the covers off, as she does, she punches her mum in the face. 'Mum, im... im sorry, i didnt mean too, i didnt, i really didnt, im sorry, i am, im sorry!', Sian screams, and cries. 'Its ok, its fine, really, it is, your to weak to hurt me anyway hunny', Sians mum says reassuring Sian. Weak? What is she on about? Sian says to herself. Sian gets sectioned into the hospital the next day, and after 3 months of submission, she accepts her disorder. 'Im sorry for everything, i am, im sorry i didnt listen, i know im ill, but i cant see it', Sian says weakly. 'You will soon, dont worry, when you get better, you will see it', the nurse replies. Months pass, and each day is harder, but easier to see her true self for Sian. One day, she wakes up, goes into the bathroom, and she stares in the mirror. Her true image occurs. It flashes, back and fourth, to her true image, and the image anorexia has placed in her mind... the true image sticks for a while... and then flips back. What the... thats not me is it? Sian questions herself. She shuts her eyes, rubs them, and says to herself, this isnt happening, this ISNT happening! She opens her eyes, and she sees the true body image. She rubs her eyes, and blinks several times before staring at the image. Her ribs stick out, her stomach is flat, her cheek bones are visable, her hair has bold patches and straw thin, she sees her true self and her mouth drops at the sight of it. Im thin? I, i cant believe this, what is.. is this a dream? Or nightmare? Is this someone elses body? It cant be mine... Sian says to herself with worryness. She said id see the true me, but i never knew this was the true me. Sian then sees flashes of her anorexic mind, and she gasps, she cries, she stutters, she curls up in the corner of the bathroom, and she waits... 'Sian? You ok in there?', the nurse asks... 'Sian, im coming in', the nurse shouts. She opens the door to find Sian curled up in the corner crying and shutting her eyes tightly. 'Sian!', the nurse shouts. 'Sian, whats wrong?', the nurse asks. 'I... i.. i seen what i really looked like, i seen it, i look.. i look awful.. im thin... i am thin.. i am happy... and at the same time.. shocked... i... i... it kept.. it kept going back to another image of me, far bigger and fatter, and i.. i just.. i cant handle this..', Sian says bursting into tears. 'Its ok, Sian, its ok', the nurse says as she pats her back. 'You'll be ok', the nurse says reassuring Sian. 'Sian, do you want us to help you get better?', the nurse asks. 'Oh.. oh.. yes.. yes please, i cant.. i cant stand this.. i feel so weak.. and sick.. and urgh', Sian replies, sniffling and rubbing her nose. 'We will help you, Sian, everythings going to be ok, dont worry, you will be ok, trust us, and we can help you', the nurse asks Sian. 'I... i trust you', Sian replies. 'Do this for me and your mum, and especially yourself', the nurse tells Sian. 'I will.. i... i will', Sian says determindly. 'Ill do this, if its the last thing i do, i will do this', Sian says, smiling and proud of herself. She stands up, and smiles to the nurse. Sian walks out of the bathroom, and says to herself, i will defeat your anorexia, you can take my body, but you cant take my soul or mind, thats mine forever, i will beat you, i will do this, and nothings going to stop me, not even you.
  5. Waking up, she looks at her clock. I'm late again, she says to herself. She gets up, strikes along to the bathroom and clenches to her stomach. I ate again last night, damn it, she scolds herself. Leaning down against the toilet, slowly creeping her fingers towards the back of her throat, her stomach reflexs and the food comes up. She shuts her eyes and tears crawl down her cheeks. I need to get the calories out, the fat, the food, she says to herself. It's still in me. I have to get it out. She runs to her bedroom, plays some music, and runs around her room, searching for the rusty metal. Where is it? she asks herself. Opening her drawer, she finds the blade. Picking it up, she sits against her bed, turns the music up a bit louder, and looks down on her arm. Putting the blade against her wrist, she clenches it tightly and pushes down, sliding it accross heavily. The skin rips, and the blood drips out. The blood slides down her skin, running out. That's better, she says to herself. Letting it bleed for a few minutes, she puts the blade away, wraps up her arm, and gets dressed for school. Running downstairs, she grabs her keys and heads off to school. Arriving at school, she goes through the entrance and knocks on her classroom door. 'Come in', the teacher speaks. Opening the door, she looks down at the floor. 'Lucy, late again I see', the teacher says to her. 'I'm sorry Miss, I had trouble getting here', Lucy replies. 'Take a seat', the teacher points at her desk. Lucy walks to her desk, places her bag on the desk and holds her head in her hands. Behind her, three girls, Katie, Joanna and Kerry, giggle at her, directing insults at her, purposely making the remarks louder for her to hear, but quiet enough for the teacher not to hear. The teacher walks out for a few moments, and then it begins. Please, just leave me alone, please... she thinks to herself. The three girls get up, and Kerry goes infront of Lucy's desk. 'Well, well, well, lookie, it's the freak girl, how are you today freak girl?', Kerry asks, mocking her and pushing her tightly against the chair. 'I... please, just leave me alone', Lucy replies, lowering her head. 'Oh, look, the freak girl is being rude, we shall teach her a lesson', Joanna giggles. Kerry goes next to Lucy and pushes her to the floor, whilst Joanna and Katie hold her down as Kerry kicks her in the stomach and punches her in the face as hard as she can. Grabbing her wrist, Lucy flinches. 'Oh look, the freak girl cut herself', Kerry mocks, tightening her grip on Lucy's wrist. 'Aw, it's a shame she didn't die', Joanna giggles, Kerry and Katie giggle with her. They all start hitting her with rulers and kick her one last time. Kerry kneels down and whispers in Lucy's ear 'make it count next time'. They walk back to their seats, and Lucy regains her balance, sitting up and sitting back in her chair. The bell rings, and Lucy is the last to walk out of class. She walks outside, and attends to her lonely bench, she places her head in her hands and the tears crawl down her cheeks. 'Hey, Lucy', Abby quietly speaks, approaching her. 'Oh... um... hello Abby', Lucy stutters. Abby sits next to Lucy and look down. 'Look, I'm sorry what I did... we used to be good friends didn't we?', Abby says, putting her arm around Lucy's shoulder. 'Yeah, we did, I miss them times...', Lucy says, putting her arm around Abby's shoulder. 'Well, look, can we be friends again? I really do miss you...', Abby quietly says, looking up at Lucy. 'Okay, we can be friends', Lucy looks up, tears fill her eyes and they both hug each other. 'I've missed you Abby', Lucy tells her, crying. 'I've missed you too', Abby starts crying. 'Hey, remember this?', Abby says as she goes through her bag, getting out a big chocolate bar. 'Oh, I love that, you remembered...', Lucy looks at her, a smile speads accross her face. The pair of them share the chocolate between each other and then Lucy remembers... 'Uh... I need to go... to the bathroom...', she stutters, before running to the bathroom. Locking the cubicle behind her, she leans over the toilet and makes herself sick. Shutting her eyes, the tears crawl down her face. Standing up, Lucy gets some toilet paper, wipes her face and unlocks the cubicle.Abby stands infront of her, shocked. 'Uh... hey Abby, are you okay?', Lucy looks at her, wiping her face. 'Yeah, I am, are you?', Abby asks. 'I'm fine...', Lucy replies, walking accross to the door. Abby grabs Lucy's arm, she flinches. 'What's wrong with your arm Lucy?', Abby asks. 'Nothing...', Lucy then turns around and walks out. Abby comes running after her and pulls her sleeves up. 'No...', Lucy yells... but it's too late... Abby steps back, and she sees the scars, the cuts... 'L...Lucy... wh... what've you... done?', Abby stutters..., staring at her arm. 'It's nothing', Lucy says, covering her arm up. The bell goes. 'I'll... see you', Lucy runs off to her next lesson. Entering her next lesson, someone walks in and speaks to the teacher. 'Lucy, you're wanted in the counsellors room', the teacher calls out to Lucy. Lucy gets up, feeling all eyes on her, she walks out, and slowly walks towards the counsellors office. Knocking on the door, she opens it. 'Please, take a seat Lucy', the counsellor asks her. Lucy steps forward and sits on the chair. 'What is it you need me for?', Lucy asks, curiously, looking around. 'How is school Lucy? Do you find it hard? Is home life okay?', the counsellor bursts out with questions, one after another. 'I... school is fine... home life is fine... why?', Lucy asks. 'Someone has told us things, Lucy, do you do anything to yourself... perhaps, hurt yourself? Make yourself sick maybe?' the counsellor asks. 'I... what?' Lucy holds onto her arm. 'May I see your arm?', the counsellor looks down at her arm. 'I... may I be excused please? Toilet...', Lucy asks, looking behind her to the door. 'Of course, but please come straight back', the counsellor replies. Lucy rushes out of the office, runs to the bathroom and leans against the door. Crying, she takes out her blade and places it on her wrist. Make it count, she thinks to herself, make it count... Opening her eyes, she looks up at the ceiling... Huh... where... am I? she asks herself. 'Morning', a nurse speaks out.'Er... morning, ma'am', Lucy slurs. Tugging at her wrist, sharp pains shoot up her arm. 'I'd rest that if I were you', the nurse looks at her, sitting next to her. 'We have a visitor for you', she says, standing up and opening the door. It's the school counsellor. 'Hello Lucy', the counsellor says to Lucy. Lucy replies 'Hello'. 'You know, I never did tell you my name, it's Luke', he says, before sitting down beside her. 'Hello Luke... I'm... well... you know my name, Lucy', Lucy smiles at him. 'What happened?' Lucy asks him. 'Well, you pretty much didn't come back to the office, I came to search for you, and I found you, you were bleeding pretty badly, you've been in here for three days now, heavily sedated', Luke stops, looking down. 'Someones here to see you', Luke says, heading towards the door, opening it and opens, Abby stands there, tears filling her eyes, mascara has been washed down her eyes and her eyes are puffy. 'Oh Lucy, I've been so worried!', Abby runs towards Lucy and hugs her tightly. 'Oh, Abby, I'm so sorry', Lucy bursts into tears, hugging her tightly. Hours go by as they speak about anything and everything, then it is time to go. 'Lucy, I'll see you tomorrow, take care of yourself, and rest up, love you lots, best friends forever', Abby says, hugging her one last time before getting up and heading out, waving as she is out of sight, then Luke returns. 'Have a nice talk, I see?', he says, walking over to Lucy and kneeling down infront of her. 'Yes, we did, thank you', Lucy replies. 'Look, Lucy, we want you to get better, to get well again, we really want to help you, can you let us help you?', Luke says, looking into Lucy's eyes. Lucy looks up, looks him in the eyes and tears drop down her cheek. 'Okay, I will try, for you, and for Abby', Lucy says, smiling, with tears dropping down her cheek, hugging Luke tightly. 'I'll try', Lucy whispers.
  6. ive been thinking about all this rubbish! ...and ive come to the conclusion that when you get dumped... it sucks! lol i feel like i have been training my g/f for life,,,, i'm a teacher ye i'm a teacher! she has used me as a lesson on life and moved on! it feels like ( i bet she feels like) she has moved on to a higher level, gone from school to college so to speak! that kills what does anyone else think... u agree?
  7. When I got into my dream med school 2 months ago, I couldn't believe it. I was so happy, and felt so positive, especially since it happened recentley after a break up with a girl I was with for a year. So all was well until I get a letter from my school telling me that I have 1 more general education class I have to take before I get in, and the words in the letter spelled SPEECH101. All I could think to myself was NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The one class I purposely avoided all of my junior college career is now the only thing standing in my way of getting in. So, ok I signed up for the speech class, I had a positive outlook going in. I get to the class, and I had heard good things bout the teacher off link removed, so I'm sitting there mingling with people, etc and the teacher tells us," After this video I put on everyone has to go on stage and introduce themselves for 5 minutes." I CHOKED! I freaked out! I walked out to go think what I should do, I couldn't believe the teacher would make us do this on the first day!! I just refused to do it, and instead I just walked away with my tail between my legs. I dropped the class and now I'm taking one that starts in the 2nd half of the semester instead, which might motivate me more as it is only a 1 month class. My question is, I'm utterly terrified of speech. I have given 1 before in junior college but the teacher turned the lights off and gave us powerpoint so I didn't feel like all eyes were on me. I just feel so psyched out over this, but if I dont do this I can say BYE BYE to my dream med school. I know im going to do this, but I just need advice on how to use the fear and transfer it into an energetic speech. Any speech students, or people who work in fields where they give speeches wanna help me out?
  8. Okay, so here's the dealo: I don't know what's up with me, but I have a serious problem comprehending what people are saying sometimes. I've noticed it happens a lot when I'm talking to my Math/Logic teacher. When I ask them a question I often walk away more confused then before. I usually get by in the class by looking at examples, but if someone would try to explain it to me verbally I would be completely baffled. This happens from time to time in my daily life too, just while taking instructions. I don't know if it's ADD, but I've noticed that I often worry about not understanding what someone is saying when they are talking to me, leaving me worse off. Anyways, it's worrying me because I don't want this problem to hinder my finding a job. Thanks for any advice in advance!
  9. My girlfriend broke up with me last Wednesday and I went no contact from the beginning. I was faced with many of the same comments many members of ENA were faced with; I don't get the butterflies anymore, I don't look forward/enjoy seeing you (aka the relationship has become a chore), this isn't want I want in my life right now. Now keep in mind, we had a 3 1/2 hour "marathon" fight over the phone the night before. When she broke up she had said she had felt this way on and off for the past three months (lack of butterflies) and I shouldn't think the decision was rash. Now over the past few days I have bene trying to piece my relationship and problems into everyone elses but truly all of our situations are unique. She was my first long term relationship and vice versa. We dated for ten months and honestly had a really good time. I graduated in December and began a career as a teacher while she is finishing her degree. She is a chemistry major, extremely hard worker, and in the midst of finishing her senior thesis, an endeavor she began almost three years ago. I should also she can be quite stubborn at times. The fact of the matter is we are at very different points in our lives at the current moment. Did I become needy? Yes I did. Did I loose myself a bit and center on the relationship instead of myself? Sure did. Have I learned from it? You better believe it...and this is only five days out. Do I think that us being apart at the moment is a good thing? I actually do. I need to focus on my career (being a first year teacher is like being married) and she needs to focus on school and decisions for next year. Of course, a few weeks ago these included me, but not anymore. Again though, this goes both ways. I, unlike her, have had my heart broken before, and understand life does and will go on. I am enjoying single life and although I have my ups and downs, I have enjoyed the past few days. What I have come to the conclusion of though is this, what I am right now, is what she originally fell for, not the clingy, needy, boring guy I was last Tuesday. I find it quite interseting how many of us here have feel into those traps. I have passion back in my life for more than just my girlfriend. There is though a interesting difference in maturity of the relationship. Yes, the butterflies did go away, I felt it but never admitted it, because I knew it was going to happen. I had friends who have been in long term relationships and eventually (and perhaps sadly) the originally shine goes away. But my friends, this is a good thing, it means the relationship is growing into something deeper and commited. Other than becoming clingy I tried with all my heart and soul to make the relationship fun and enjoyable. I am one of those nices guys, through and through. Perhaps though I didn't understand her way of loving was different than mine but special nevertheless. I didn't get it. I did fall for Ann and that is why when she walked out my door I said well, I will always love and miss you. Ann might have been the first who ever really got me. Yes, I love my friends dearly and they are like friends but they do not want to make me be a better person. Ann, especially now, makes me want to walk into my classroom everyday and be the best teacher I can be. I teach Somali refugees who have come to the United States seeking education, healthcare, and protection. I want to go out running in the morning to clear my head and enjoy the sunrise. I miss her but when she left she said she needed time and space. I went NC not out of spite or anger, or hopes she would come back (maybe originally) but because I love her and respect what she needed. She said during the break up I loved having someone, not her. That was what hurt the most. If I didn't love her, I wouldn't have respected her wishes. I am not angry, I could never be completely angry at her. I know what I had was love and love is like soap, hold it in the palm of your hand and it will sit, clutch it in your first and it will be gone, perhaps forever. If nothing else makes me happy (which their are certainly many things) what I am happy about is I left with dignity, class, and most of all love. I know we all are here to support one another and have hope and that is extraordinary. The fact of the matter is though, is what you had was love, true love, the types we wish for on stars, it will come back. What I miss most about Ann is her friendship because that is what love truly is, the perfect friendship. My students know about her, have seen pictures, and were asking about her today. I was honest and told them what happened and they were honestly compassionate and felt for my situation. They offered to write letters to her saying how much I missed her. These are students who have difficulty writing for their English is moderate at best. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, but eventually I think I will have my students write letters (it is actually a really good writing excercise). Am I trying to win her back, perhaps, but as I said, if I were trying to win her back I would have them write these letters tomorrow, not a month or two from now. It isn't about winning her back anymore. It is about letting her know that yes, I did love you, and my life was that much better when you were in it. My calmness over the past week has proven to me that yes, I did love Ann, with all my heart. Anyway, thanks for reading this. I know many of you have questions concerning NC but the fact of the matter is, if you really love the person you lost, and it was mutual, they will come back. My head is incredibly clear right now and if nothing else, I am a stronger and better person. That itself is a hell of a gift. If the love of your life does return, well my friend, you just won the lotto.
  10. Following is my reply to this post Im sharing this with all of you because I hope that it may inspire someone to do what they can to become the person they want to be. SEE A GOAL and reach for it. You can do it! Someone told me that and it was almost too late. Oh, there are times I have struggled to remember it But here is a bit of my story: _________________________________________ About 8 or so months ago I gave that quote to a new teacher here on enotalone. She was asking if there was anything we could tell her to take into her new classroom as she for the first time was preparing to mold young minds. I have had this poem commited to memory since I was 16 years old. I had been getting in trouble in school ... Id been through alot. I look back now and know that I was acting out because of all the pain I was feeling, it was truly self destructive behavior. I had a teacher that really mentored me. He treated me with respect and told me that I could do anything that I wanted to do with my life. At that time, I was in my Junior year of highschool, looking at only a year and a half till graduation day yet I had little chance to graduate. I had 3.5 credits and should have had 9 at that point. (so technically I wasnt even a Sophmore) He gave me this poem. Those words inspired me. For a teacher to so touch a students soul (not in an improper way) meant the world to me. It was like for the first time someone was telling me that I could do it! This was a turning point for me. I began working extra hard. I did correspondance courses.. I went to an alternative highschool for six months that allowed me to do alot of my classes on computer and getting through them at a much faster pace. I did volunteer service at a nursing home (75 hours) which really changed me. I did an internship at a Law office.. Another internship at the chamber of commerce for my county. (those in the usa may know what the chamber of commerce is) All of these things allowed me to pick up credits here and there to have enough to graduate from highschool. It was not a GED Program. This poem and that teacher have never left my thoughts. One of the proudest moments in my life was the day that I graduated. On time. With my class. Class of 1996. It wasnt the original highschool but it was a highschool. I had done it! I had made a goal and did what no one thought I could. I didnt drop out. I went and told that teacher that he helped me a year and a half before and I thanked him. He wiped a tear from his eye and he told me never to forget what I had done and what I could do. Watch your thoughts, They become Words. Watch your words, They become Actions. Watch your actions, They become Habits. Watch your habits, They become Charactor. Watch your charactor, It Will Become Your Destiny.
  11. It has been several months since I have been on here, but I'm back. Here is my problem: -I was diagnosed with ADD about a year and a half ago. -prior to that, I had been treated for anxiety, but the anxiety was really coming from the frustration associated with my disorganization, inability to get stuff done, feelings of nonproductivity, 5 million thoughts in my head at the same time, the list goes on. -The Pill-popping cycle: Paxil to Celexa, Celexa to Paxil and then Paxil to Cymbalta which I am currently taking in addition to my Adderall XR. Cymbalta may be aggravating situation because I am worse than I have ever been. -I am a teacher and my administrator has caught to my behaviors: flip-floping from subject, to subject to subject in parent conferences and with colleagues, "not having my ducks in a row," "impulsiveness/interrupting, difficulty with paperwork, staying on task, disorganization. THIS IS ALL VERY UPSETTING TO ME. -Please don't misunderstand, I am a highly qualified teacher with a masters degree in counseling. I have had good reviews since day 1. I am known at my school for my creativity, genuiness, sincerity, and my ability to get along well with parents. My administrator is just concerned about me and I am bothered because I never realized that I was obviously ADD and that I was doing what I was doing. -I am trying to cope with ADD by making lists prioritizing important things and being aware of my difficulty getting from point A to B without taking at least 20 detours along the way. How many times have I been told "get to the point!" -I am not the most punctual person in the world. Getting somewhere on time is one of the hardest things in the world for me. Distractions derail me from my end goal. -I have never really had a successful relationship. -Sex sucks because I have so much going on in my head at one time and I cant climax. Please help. I at least want some friends who have ADD and know what I am going through. Tonight, I was so stressed out I took 2 pain pills to mellow out and I never would do that normally! They were left over from when I was hurt once but I know better than to abuse them. I know this is a lot of stuff, but my point is that I am an Adult female with ADD and am trying to cope. thx, Suzie B
  12. Hi all, OK so this is my story, pretty long but please bear with me. First of all, There is this Teacher in my school who i have a HUGE crush on. But that not what i want advice on. You see, iam extremly worried i have totally creeped her out. Im worried cos thats the last thing i want. Please read my story and tell me what you think. OK so, last year i get this new teacher, i didnt think much of it at first, just a new teacher, Big deal i thought. But when i went to her class for the first time god man she was so dam beautiful, i was smitten as soon as i laid eyes on her. From that point onwards things went ok, but then one day in one of her lessons she had this birthday card on her desk, i noticed it but someone else asked about it, she said it was her birthday today, so the next day i brought her in a card, she was greatful and said thanks, and of course i was in a brilliant mood. In my class there are loads of other guys that act tough and show off infront of her, naturally i get green with Jealousy, as iam not the toughest guy in school... infact quite the oppisite. So, things went on from there, i used to ask questions alot about the work, even though i throughly understood it, i just loved speaking to her. iam extremly nervous when i speak to her, i stutter i shake and everything! i used to think of little plans to "accidently" bump in to her, its sad i know and im embarrassed to even tell anyone about it. Then near the end of the year, End of year exams coming and stuff, i thought i could spend a little bit of time with her and stay after school for her to "help me" with stuff i wasnt sure about, ( i was sure about everything by the way, just wanted to spend time with her So i go up to her, ask her if it would be ok if i came after school to clear some things up i wasnt sure about on the exam, she said ok and after school i came. i went in, made up some questions and just generally chatted, i then asked her if i would get her next year, she said probually not as i was doing full term religious studies (which is what she teaches) i said it was a shame, cos i thought she was a really great teacher, she said aww and i just felt so good inside. Then one day me and my friend are walking past the door, which was on the route to our other lesson, and he stops at the door, i carry on walking because i didnt notice he was peering through the glass window thing on the door. Apparently he says she saw him and he ran off, dont ask me why he did it, im confused aswell. Another time im walking with him and we are walking down a different part of the School and she is chatting to another teacher in there, but as we passed the door (the door was open) i felt and saw out of the corner of my eye her immediatley follow me with her eyes. So, the last day of the year comes, i decide to get her a little something to say thanks for helping me with "clearing up those questions" and a end of year kind of gift. When it was time to give it to her, i was so so so scared, but i forced myself and managed to give it to her (it was a "Thank You" card and some minature heroes) she seemed greatful, and i went off relieved and happy that it was done. This was 7 weeks ago. Iam now in my next year I dont have her to teach me. Im really depressed, and jealous of those people who do have her. But today i was walking by towards my maths lesson, and in my route is past her classroom, i was her talking to some little first year at the high school, i was going to say "Hi" but when she saw me coming towards from a distance, she just went back in to her room. Then another guy who has a crush on her aswell (he is a big **** by the way. a bully,) and he said "Hi" and started talking about other lessons to her or something, i walked past in envy and jealousy and i saw and felt her eyes follow me, with a straight face. all the way. Then my friend who i mentioned early was walking behind me, a fair distance behind, he runs up to me way after ive passed her calling "Andy!" so i turn and look at him, and i see her staring right at us!. Now i dont know if im being paranoid but i think she is avoiding me and is suspicious and thinks that we are following her. So My big question is: IS SHE CREEPED OUT BY ME COS SHE THINKS I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER AND SHE THINKS IM FOLLOWING HER? All comments greatly appretiated, i look forward to reading them and replying, any questions just ask. Thank You!
  13. Well, I just finished my first day at school. Only had one class which wasn't too bad, "classroom management". I have a math class on Mondays where I learn how to teach math to grade schoolers. Ugh. I hate math. I am not sure if I am cut out for school again. It was weird to wake up early and go to campus around 8 AM for a 9 AM class. USD is a really nice campus, situated on a hill. The class has about 23 people in it, most of them a bit younger than me. If I had taken night class, I think I would find people more in my age group. Not sure though. Talked to a few people, but people didnt seem that friendly. Maybe I am not putting out friendly vibes. I dont know. The professor is nice. Lots to do for the class and will have to do some clinical hours at a school (I get to choose from a list) and will have to arrange that on my own. Ugh! I dont know what's wrong with me, but being around people freaks me out. I didnt hang around long after class. Didnt really talk to anybody after class either. Left campus, went and picked up some groceries, called my mom, and came back home and now am online again, along with chomping down a nice big burger . I feel more comfortable with you guys, than going to class and talking to people there. I'm weird.
  14. "Look, so what if it's our physics teacher throwing a little party for his students? It won't be that bad. Just come." "I dunno, I could just hang out with friends in the caf or something." "At least come for five minutes, eat some snacks and then you can leave." "Whatever." Eight minutes in, there are a total of 7 students, and 1 teacher over there, so the teacher starts thinking aloud: "I know that this isn't exactly cool, and there are other things people rather be doing for an hour of their day, but I expected more than 7 people to show up. I'm going to go check the room we normally have class in to see if people missed the sign." 15 minutes later, he hadn't het come back. We started getting a little curious as to what is happening, when a woman runs up to the room and tells us "Take the nearest exit, leave the building. NOW!" So we leave the building, in no hurry, thinking it's a fire drill or something. Outside, we see police men, and only then do I realise that something serious has happened. We walked accross the street into a small park, I asked around about what was happening until someone finally answered me. Someone was inside the school and he had a gun, one person was already shot, and there were hostages. I grabbed a cell phone to call my parents and tell them the news, and to assure them I was safe, but the network was full with people calling. I guess it isn't meant to handle 10,000 people calling all at once. After a bit of waiting, looking around for friend, three gun shots are heard, and all of the 1,000 or so students waiting in the park run. Have you ever seen one of those movies or commercials where the streets are full with people stampeding through? Well, it was just that. I ran to a nearby school where some of my friends go to, to see if they were okay, and just talk about it. Once I get there, they announce over the PA "There has been a shooting over at Dawson College, noone is permitted to leave the building until further notice." "Great choice for a place to go," I thought to myself. An hour and a half and one crashed course later, students are released into the streets, and I get a ride home since the busses and metros are all closed. I really don't know how to feel right now. Everything just feels a little empty, and uneasy. I'm thankful that I didn't see anything, since it would be impossible to sleep with the image of someone getting shot stuck in my head, but just knowing that it could have been me, that I left the area of the shooting five minutes before it happened makes me feel uneasy. link removed (Story is constantly being updated, so quote might be out of date)
  15. I clearly remember being about 12 years old (nearly 10 years ago), and my fellow classmates joking around, and saying I was destined to be a language arts teacher. All through high school--and now into college--I really, really enjoy language arts. But now that I've started my junior year of college, I'm beginning to wonder what to do about my affection for English studies. I thought about journalism--I even have some work experience with that--but I know it's not for me. So. I have a professor at my university who I happen to really respect (he's the co-author of a very popular book that teaches writing methodology for high school and college students. Every single one of my high school teachers had his book on their desks!). Anyway, I was talking to him one day and he asked me what I wanted to do as a career. I vaguely said something about publishing and he, to my surprise, said, "Well, from what I can tell from class discussions, you're extremely articulate. Have you ever thought about teaching?" I wanted to laugh a little bit, because the first thing I thought about was being teased when I was younger. I tried to dismiss the idea, but it kind of stuck. When I was in high school, I was in an English class with one of my friends and we ended up working on a project together. I can't remember why, but at one point she looked at me and said, "You know, you should be an English teacher." The other day, I jokingly told her that I'm seriously considering taking her "advice" and she said, "You should, because I still to this day think you should be an English teacher." I also asked a few of my other friends what they think, they all said they could see me teaching. One friend in particular mentioned that I have the "right mix of sarcasm and wit to keep your students interested, but you're smart enough to help them learn, too." I don't know what to think. I really value my professor's opinion which is why I'm taking this so seriously, but up until now I've never even seriously considered teaching. I just...I don't know. I don't feel like that's me. I'm kind of lazy when it comes to my own academics so I don't know how much of an example I'd set, lol. And, well, I'm shy sometimes...so that might be a problem for obvious reasons. Plus, I've always kind of thought of teachers as people who knew for a long time that they wanted to teach. I wish I could say with certainty that I want this, but I honestly don't know. This dilemma is also a problem because I don't want to devote time and energy into getting my teaching certification only to realize later on that I don't really want to teach. Are there any teachers out there in cyberspace with some advice? How did you know you wanted to teach? Was it just something you always felt or was it a decision you made later in life? I just...hmm. How do I figure out if this is something that I want to do before I finish my bachelors degree and have to make a decision about which path to take? I know this is long and I'm sort of asking the impossible here, but I'd like some insight if possible. Thanks.
  16. Crap.....its my fault i shouldn't have searched ner name, didn't think she wud be there, i saw her ex there and she is with him now profile says committed, she still stays where she was, workin as a teacher and also studying. One thing led to other and she is perfectly fine talkin to many guys for friendships and what not...no problem but why did i look into her friends list...hate this. i am not jealous but i am really hurt by me now....shouldn't have bothered at all, i am not healed fully... to make matters worst she will know who visited her profile, logs always show up on the front page. ahh how can i be so stupid...i am shakin now. Sorry all... Hate this...i have let down myself.
  17. Im a senior in high school, moving on to The Academy of Arts Universitie in sanfrancisco. Now there are lots of things i hate in high school, for example: - Racial segregation ( people hanging out with their own) -Rockers,thugs,Smart poeple,Rich people, Popular people, divided into groups. -Have to look nice everyday if not your looser -Clothes -Not socials with others cause of who they hang out with -Stereotypes by loooking at you And im shure there are plenty of others, you can add on. I was feeling kind of blue when i teacher asked me "Whats wrong" and i said "im a great guy, nice, consider it, smart, funny, athletic, and attractive" and the teacher said so whats wrong" and i said " i want to share that with someone but for some reason im not knee deep in girls, im not ugly am i?" then she said " no of course not i think your very attractive" and i said "right right, im not conceaded but i think im pretty hot' she said ' Of course you are" Then she said that i should care of what highschool girls think cause high school is diffirent then rest of the world and real life itself, she said that when i move on to college ill see how unimportant all the things in high school were. Now im not conceaded but if ii send you some pics or when i post them up on my space youll see that im pretty attractive even some girls have told me that in perrson. My following questions. 1 Is high school diffirent from th rest of the world and real life/ 2 Is being attractive not the only way to get girls? ( i have lots of qualities to not just that, but im just saying ) 3 Should i ignore things in high school 4 Will life after high school be much better Im looking more forward to your advice then answer to my questions. Thanx people L.P.U LOVE PEACE UNITY
  18. hi everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this! i was just wondering if anyone has tips for when you are very very shy... even painfully shy >> ive always been a little bit shy but sometimes it seems i am just soooo shy... i find it hard talking to teachers sometimes... and for example this one teacher i have .. he is a nice except i just seem to get nervous and shakey just talking to him... and it goes for everything.. ! i find the littlest things so hard.. i know ill always be shy but i just wish i wasnt so shy that it affects everything.... i only talk if talked to and i have lots of nervous habits... i think lots of people think im really weird.. especially at school! sometimes i see people making gestures or signs about me and i know they think i am strange the 2nd thing is i was wondering if it is not normal to never have had a boyfriend... i am turning 18 soon and i am sooooo shy around guys! i have never gone out with anyone and i was wondering if this is weird.. most of my friends have b/fs or have had b/fs but when i have a crush on someone i feel sooo nervous and sick & i cant even look at them ! does this mean there is something wrong withme? anyway.. i am sorry this was so long! thanks for helping me!
  19. .......................This ................. unforgiving ......................cello .............. of mine will not ..................... speak ..................... in its .......................rich, .....................earthy ......................voice ...................... if I ..................... come ...................... to it ......... in anger, selfishness, or .....arrogance. My cello is my teacher, ... requiring patience, love, and passion .....of me before it will sing. Its voice is ......more familiar to me than my own, ......and these strings have been under ........... my rough fingers for far, ............. far longer than I can .............. remember. I spoke .............with the music of this ........ instrument long before I ever ....used words, and even now after the ... hundreds of words that I have read or ..spoken, the things that I can say when I draw my bow accross the strings is far more .eloquent than anything I could ever speak ..or write of myself. My cello has a voice ..that sings alone in the darkness, crying .out its joy when there is no other comfort ....in the world. If I could not play, then ............ I would have no voice. .........................My ....................... cello ......................... is .........................my ..........................h ..........................e ..........................a ......................... r ..........................t
  20. a maroon collared long-sleeve modern casual knit shirt. it looks velvety - he wears it well. vertical stripes conforming to muscles, pectoral curves, the sleeves pushed up over clean, robust forearms with fine blond hairs. masculine, skillful hands brush that gorgeous angular chin for a moment; those killer bow lips parted, barely, those straight rectangle teeth, those peculiar pensive blue eyes - i've been shot. I have a rather indecent crush on my art teacher. Shhh.
  21. My boyfriend enjoys non violent, loving kinky sex. He wants it with his partner only, with no anger or abuse. He likes fantasies with anticipation and role playing. Such as the naughty school boy getting spanked by his teacher in a seductive outfit. How can you start doing this and not look like a fool and please your partner. I think I could get into this , but I need some advise. Any ideas??? Freefallin
  22. I've been in NC for 3 weeks. We had a relatively short affair of some months, but I fell for her big time and it scared her away. I was wrecked. Anyhow, NC means doing other things, maybe new things. I understand that it's not "No Contact" and that's it. That will drive you nuts. Here's what has happened so far: 1. Got my classic car back on the road and on the books of a film producer/location scout down here who wants to meet this weekend to show me around his studio etc. I am learning filmmaking and hoping to get some unpaid work experience with him. 2. Made the NC graphic to help me cope with any communication that may happen when I am too sore to think properly. I have already seen her with another guy in my local bar and spotted them skulking around the neighbourhood at 3:00am. So much for her needing time and space. If she had only said "from you, that is" I would have been out of there, reluctantly. Nah, probably not. Still looking for more feedback on the graphic, you can find it here: link removed 3. Established a conversation between my adult head and my childish heart so he doesn't go chasing parked cars for a while. Helps me to think of them that way. 4. Started working on my software project again - means 2 days a week out of my home office. Some more structure and I don't run into the ex who comes up my street every Friday. And my heart can't run into the back of her van. 5. Wrote down everything that happened between us, why, and what I will do better next time. Still working on that but it's been therapy for me. Oh, and I have been using my story as a conversation piece with my Spanish teacher (changing names and places to protect the innocent). I thought a big part of the problem with the ex was my Spanish but apparently I can make a Spanish woman laugh quite a lot. Turns out my ex was just a bit boring. Yikes! I thought it was me. So.... tonight my teacher asks me out to a fiesta in the next village on Saturday night - not expecting anything (not in the mood for love) but it will be great to meet some new people and we might even bump into the ex - a little bit of jealousy on top of the NC wouldn't go amiss. Damn, I'll have to blow off the producer. Someone has a quote on this forum from "The Shawshank Redemption" I would like to borrow... "Get busy living, or get busy dying" Here's another one from the same movie ... "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." and the retort , much later in the movie "...hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies" And another "there's a - there's a - there's something inside that's yours, that they can't touch." And here is where I want be: "I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain." Hope some of this helps. River Dog
  23. Hey, So I dated this girl a long time ago..more on the story at Today, I was sitting outside my lab, grabbing a coffee and a smoke and she passed me by..looked at me & smiled, I didnt and just looked away..she walked another 50-60 ft, got talking to a guy and then when she finished talking to him..turned back and walked up to me to say "hi". We talked for 15-20 mins and it looked like she was reminiscing/maybe missing the old days. We talked mostly about what we wanted to do with life and life after graduation and a little about the past..she ended up saying "So I just wanted to say "hi" and I know I've been a real b***h to you and you are one person who doesnt deserve that". She told me she had a bf (and I kinda knew she had one) and that he'd asked her to marry him but she didnt wanna get married, honestly I got the feeling that she doesnt want to settle down with him. She asked me what my plans were about marriage and I said that I dont plan to have one for a long time. She sounded confused with what she wanted to do after graduation, said she wanted to be a dance teacher instead of being a chemical engineer. I have 6 months to go before I graduate and I'll be out of this place and maybe never get to see her again, anyone in this situation? This girl brings out emotions in me like anything..about the only girl i've truly selflessly loved and its been a hard track to try and get over her and thought I'd finally done it before she walked up to me and now I am a little bit of a mess. Thanks for reading, send in any comments about this post.
  24. ok i talked to my school coundelor today and we set up a plan for me to graduate on time. i need to either take an online course or a college course which will be oodles of work plus i have to keep working my "32" (for legal purposes) hours a week. i also have to pass all my classes this year. the only one that my pose a difficulty would be psychology/sociology college prep. I dont think English will be too rough cause my teacher is my homie, lol i like that word its so anti-me.not to mention those of you familiar with my writing know i excel at english. other than that i have 2 art classes PE and govt with a teacher who sleeps all period. its gonna be difficult to do all this especiall with my little problem*coughs* im gonna try though any advice?
  25. My professor asked me to provide him with a CV for him to write me a letter of recommendation to grad school. What is the difference between a resume and a cv? Has anyone ever written a CV that I could look at? I'm really not sure what the format is supposed to be.. Any information is very appreciated, thanks everyone!
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