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Beec last won the day on September 4 2007

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  1. If you have tried everything, but hurting her, I do not know what to tell you. Hang in there, and I hope it gets better.
  2. That sounds very good. It also sounds like this attitude of you doing what you want to do is maybe somehow working to make her want to do IT with you. Do what works, do what works for you, and if you can do what works on her. Good luck.
  3. You are talking about someone who has learned to put up barriers to certain emotions, because she did not get to have them. She also learned to not trust you. It will take time for thiose things to change, perhaps a bunch of time. It may help if you remain independent of her, at least form time to time.
  4. Orlander, You had a good date, with a woman you are not too sure about. it was good enough that you want a second one, but not so good that you think there is a real future. In addition to that, she is out of a recent relationship, and you could be putting yourself in the position to be a rebound guy. Either way, don't look for too much until you are sure you want it, and keep seeing her, maybe less frequently, until you know one way or another. This sounds to me like a good situation for some infrequent dating, and nothing serious. And when soemthing worth being serious comes along, go with that one.
  5. Just be careful. Don't make any sudden decisions. If you are going to be friends, or have any realtionship, give it lots of time to develop.
  6. What you did sounds very good to me. You got out the important words, you said what needed to be said, and you probably seemed very sincere as you were emotional. Now when you see her, say hello or hi and try to be nice. It will take time for anything to be happen between you as far as friendship, and it may not. But you did what you could have done. Nice job.
  7. If she is going to move back home, the one thing you will need to be able to do is trust that the insanity is over. She is going to have to prove that over time. So letting her right back in should not be an option. When relationships go south, they need to be rebuilt. You don't just jump in at the point where things went bad. You must back up and get thigns right that have already been gotten right. the more things went wrong, the closer you go to the beginning. If you want to date her a bit, you can try, but she should not move back in until you can really trust her to be the woman you want in your life.
  8. I know nothing about being female, a lesbiuan or otherwise, but as far as the sexual aspects of your story, I think you have some figuring out to do. It seems as if B was the guy you wanted, so you must have been attracted to guys. Now, you seem to have fantasies about E. Until you have figured out what it is you want, i would be very careful about proceeding in any direction sexually with anyone, even as far as kissing. If you are a lesbian, you risk, right or wrong, social stigma and family issues and who know what else by coming out. If you are straight and try something with another woman, that may not simply go away. If you are a lesbian and go out with a guy, well, it's not fun to find out your woman has gone gay on you. It is pretty devastating to find out your relationship invovled someone who did not ever really want you. So, something has you confused, etc. take your time acting on it. You may just have an obsession with this fantasy. The thought of it may do soemthing for you, while the reality won't. Second, apologize to E. Just do it. Let her know that you are aware that you have at times treated her in a manner that was just not right and that you are sorry and regret doing that. You can be vague.
  9. I very with Hope on the why are you still there comments? If she is still doing what she was doing, then she's still kind of walking all over you. That needs to end. It's fine to be agreeing and doing as she wants when you first find things getting out of control, but it needs to end.
  10. Life is good.... That's a good outlook to have. Seems also like you are probably getting some help in trying not to be bitter. Good luck.
  11. Good question. Crushed, life has changed for you. I wish you luck in you changing your life into what youwould like it to be. Try to heal as mucha s you can and not to get too cynical.
  12. Well, except for possibly calling you less, if I was asked to tell him what to do in order to get back with you, I would tell him to do what he is doing. I would tell him (AND YOU for that matter) that trying to move on and date others is not mutually exclusive with trying to get back togehter with an ex. Not at this time, you're probbaly not ready to date, but working toward moving on helps you move on. Doing the things that you would do if you were moving on, helps you get over someone. And it also may attract them to come back. Ironic. Sorry, but that's about all the help I have with regard to what you wrote. Other than to keep busy to keep your mind occupied. Hang in there, it will get better. It takes time.
  13. It seems to me like you have met a guy who has an awful lot on his plate, and he just does not have the time and energy to date, anyone we'd hope. I think keeping contact with him from time to time, not every week, but space it out more, would be a decent idea, but otherwise, I like the plant o let him initiate, and to continue seeing others.
  14. I think that if you still want to try, one of the best ideas I read that was suggested was to move out and only date him, to see how things go. Dating is an investigation, and if you want to investigate to see if he can change, then make sure you are not in a position that would allow you to become stuck or abused. His behavior bordered on that at least. Don't put you at risk.
  15. First, yes, people can change. But any change in this regrd will probably require time and effort. A simple 12 week anger management course won't cure him. It could give him what he needs to cure himself, but he will need to put in effort over a couple years probably. Whether you continue with him or let him try or not, that's your call. Your clothes folded or not should not be that much of threat to his life. This seems like a guy with control issues. Your clothes being in a heap should not bother him, unless it effects him in some way I don't get. If anything is out of place at all, then he feels out of control. Don't be controlled whatever you decide to do.
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