The Morrigan

Don't you understand the lure of the forbidden, and the contrast between a guy who really WANTS a schoolgirl, and who wants to relive his school years with a mature woman? Come on, just because a guy wants to see his girl dressed up as something to bring him back to his school days when he liked schoolgirl outfits on schoolgirls doesn't mean he wants a schoolgirl per se today, only that he wants to get the thrill he couldn't at 15 or 16. There's nothing wrong with a bit of roleplaying when that's all it is - adding a spark to the fantasy aspect of sex. Generally the whole POINT of roleplaying is just that - fantasy, not something you want per se in REALITY. And be real - there are plenty of guys who would LOVE their girls to "act like a hooker" as long as it's exclusively with them. It's not like plenty of you guys have the best rep for being faithful either, so why is it that guys are praised for what women are denigrated for? Wake up, it's not the early 1900's. Until you can show me the male of the species has any better track record than the female, don't stand in judgement on us. Guys are so DENSE!!

No matter what - getting someone's alternate view of your situation, even if all it does it make you think instead of emoting, helps. Most of us tend to post when our emotions have us in a loop of thoughts that are getting us nowhere fast - and ANYTHING the derails that, and starts real thinking, and a bit less panic, is helpful. You take a little of what everyone says... maybe not word for word, but generally, more people's opinions give a lot of different views, levels of experience, and different people who have been in different situations see things, well, differently. It's everyone contributing that helps, since no two people will ever see anything EXACTLY the same. Be at ease - anyone here, just the fact they're willing to BE here when they're in need themselves, says something, and something strong and good about them. Keep your chin up!

Ok honey - you're young, he's young. You didn't seem to be thinking too clearly to sit on another guy's lap - even if it was just for cuddle comfort. I doubt you'd have been too happy in the other position, and that's how you have to look at most things to understand where your partner is coming from. How would you have felt if you came home, he wasn't where you expected, you were asked to come over to where he was and found him with a girl happily ensconced in his lap? Probably not too thrilled, to say the least. Also consider what you've told us - he's working two jobs to support you and Aiden, and has another baby on the way. While that's commendable - it's stressful, and he's going to be reacting to that as well, just as you find your hormones and stress affect you, his worries about his growing family are going to affect HIM. Give him a break - just acknowledge what you did was a bit thoughtless of his feelings and was something you hadn't considered, and you can understand why he reacted the way he did. Remember it only takes one person to end a conflict by simply not arguing the point, and saying you can understand where he's coming from - and really meaning it. How sincere you are is going to play a big factor in his reaction towards what you say to him. Sometimes admitting you made a mistake is the only clean and honest way to go.

It's safe even if it's not a yeast infection, yep. More economical is the generic version of monistat 7 - it comes with 7 prefilled applicators, just use it at night for a week. If there's no other symptoms, and this clears it up, then you're right - though some white discharge can be normal. If any other symptoms develop though - make an appointment - you can always tell your mom now that you're older you'd be more at ease with a female for gyn checkups and she may well understand where you're coming from.

link removed and link removed Read through, and see if you can find some words of wisdom or help in there. It won't be easy, but you can choose just how much harder you make things on yourself - try to put yourself and your feelings first, and do what you need to to heal.

Also check the specific ones she's using - you can probably get a list of the active ingredients off the web and see just what you're dealing with as far as what they put in the pills she's taking. The more information you have on what you're dealing with, the better. It might also help her just knowing you went as far as to really research what she's taking and the possible problems it could cause since it'll show her your level of concern. It probably won't be easy to get her to admit it's a problem - even if you can get her to talk to a counselor or someone to "humor you" it would be a step in the right direction, like any addiction, or addictive behavior, it's not easy to break free from. You might want to check out some sites on anorexia and bulimia since it sounds like this is where it's headed - abuse of diet pills is often a symptom, don't assume there's nothing more behind it. Not trying to scare you here - but even if she says it's occasional, and doesn't try to starve herself or purge - I'd lay at least even odds something else is going on as well, it's rare it's all on it's own since it's a "body image" and control issue. Here's a few to start with: link removed - a "screening" for warning signs link removed - one support group link removed - a forum with a specific subforum for family and friends of support.

Arrid, Secret or Degree soft solids all seem to work well - the soft solids overall seem to work better than either the liquid roll-ons or the hard solids. And I tried the clear gel - once - it didn't work worth a damn for me. So I've stuck with the soft solids, the "springy" scents, and I'll pick up extra if one is on sale

While it's far LESS likely, it's definitely not impossible. The odds are she's not pregnant this time - but counting on it is like playing Russian Roulette - this is not a form of thrill and excitement you want to add to your sex life, believe me. If she's not pregnant this time - next time, ignore the friends, ignore your hormones whispering in your ear, and double check on anything you hear. It's not just the specific day you have sex you have to worry about - sperm can survive 3-5 days inside a woman's body. Always better to be safe rather than sorry.

Honey - I think part of the problem here is you weren't on quite the same page of this "open" relationship. It seems he was thinking by breaking with you when he was tempted to sleep with someone else, he felt he was living up to what you both wanted - and you wanted a bit more in the way of committment. Since you were both free to date, and this was basically a friends with benefits situation, it seems the expectations of how long it would take him to decide he wanted to sleep with someone else just didn't line up between you. He probably figures he was living up to your understanding, breaking off with you before actually doing anything with someone else (even though it turns out it was you), and you felt slighted that he would break off with you to have a sexual relationship with someone else. You're going to have to come completely clean and talk to him about what happened - that it wasn't intentional to begin with on your part, but after it started you were tempted to find out how far he would go - and gave into that temptation. If you really care for him as a friend and don't want to lose that, well, sometimes when we screw up with our friends, the quickest and cleanest way to get it over with is the hardest - admit to what you did wrong, swallow the pride with a bit of humble pie for dessert, give him a heartfelt apology, and throw the ball in his court. And umm, be careful to make sure you understand in advance just how much committment to giving notice to the other party is in any "friends with benefits" relationship like this - or what comes accross to one party as disrespectful is what the other party thinks is being respectful.

Another "girl gift" that never goes wrong is a gift certificate to the nail or hair place she likes to go, it's a little more personal than a store certificate, but she's still sure to get what she wants with it!

Ok honey - this guy is 25 and still lives at home, and he's calling you a failure? His "life experience" is seriously short of yours at this point. He may indeed be getting ahead - but I doubt he's sat down and thought through if he'd be anywhere close to where he's at if HE was out paying rent, utilities, groceries, etc and not only focusing on his career. He doesn't have any right to say you're a failure in comparison to him - he's never been close to where you are, so he really has no right to make judgements like that. If anything, it seems he's holding you back - making you question your own value. And that's not a healthy situation. Without getting too personal - why are you not getting any child support? It's something I'd seriously consider depending on the circumstances - because anything you manage to do with even that little help for your children added in can only benefit them in the long run. And kids aren't baggage - after you've got kids, it's a package deal. If he can't accept that, that's a major problem, your kids are part of you, and shouldn't be considered anything other than a unlooked for benefit by a guy who really loves you. If you guys do decide to try again, tell him just saying "work harder" doesn't address the real issues you face as a single parent - if he truly wants to see you get ahead, he needs to come up with some more constructive advice than that. This should be something he puts more brainpower into than push - ask him if he has any REAL ideas of how to get around some of the things that have been problems to you getting ahead, not just assuming you're not trying hard enough.

There's a thing such as being too open - this would be one of them in my opinion. Would you really want him telling you if his hormones lit up at the sight of a cute cheerleader shaking her poms? Or would you feel challenged, angry, or resentful if he confessed he'd had thoughts on occasion? Occasional, fleeting thoughts happen from time to time to the best of us, with no intent behind them. If you are starting to worry about your committment or intentions, make sure the relationship you're in is where you really want to be, but if you're happy with him, and these are definitely going to stay as nothing more than thoughts - they're ones you're best keeping to yourself. It would probably come accross to him as questioning if you love him and are committed to him and make him insecure.

link removed read the last part, stage 3 - Michael is right, especially if she doesn't like being pushed, be open, not so available that there's no balance, and let her lead. You can let her know through little comments you find her attractive without pushing the whole relationship idea on her. Keep it light and interesting - and keep yourself interesting by not immediately falling all over her. If you go out and do something - try to think of "fun" things you know she'd like that other guys who don't know her wouldn't think of. You've got an edge knowing her and her personality, let it work for you, and let her show you when she's interested.

Take away the opening - you can always add her back or unblock her later, but for now, your first priority has to be you. Privacy settings are there for a reason - it's time to use them. It's not like you're leaving on a grand tour of third world countries - when she's REALLY wanting to get in touch with you, she'll find a way. If she emails or gets a message to you in some other way "why don't you want to talk to me?" just be direct, tell her you're not ready to come straight out of a relationship to friends, and you need space to heal so you can move on as she's doing. She's not going to appreciate what she had until she feels she's really lost it - as long as you're being a supportive caring friend, the only thing she's going to miss is the pressure of wondering if the grass could be greener - not the position you want to put her in!

I suppose first, you have to really be sure in your heart he's being honest with you. If you're sure of that, you'd be better off seeing if there's a support group, either online or in your area, for family members and loved ones of rape victims. I'm not sure the typical "infidelity" type counseling would be of as much benefit since you trust his intentions were in no way to cheat on you - and reestablishing that trust is what most of those would be aiming at. It's more his judgement you have to be able to trust, that now that he's wiser, he won't find himself in a similar situation again. It might be of benefit for you to consider going to counseling as a couple for that - after all, both of you are involved in this. The situation with your friends is different altogether - but if you can get through the issues you have with your bf, you might feel a little more able to handle them with the confidence you need.

Wow - I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, you're a strong person to be able to post about it, and be coping as well as you have so far. I'll second the notion of joining a support group - but for several reasons. Not only will you get acceptance and support yourself like nowhere else, you'll have the opportunity to use your own horrible experiences, possibly for the first time, in a way that could help someone else. It doesn't make it better - but it will give you a better sense of control over what you're DOING with those experiences, and let you take charge of yourself a little more. There's also this - sometimes seeing other people's reactions and seeing your own in them brings home more firmly than any counselling that the words you've heard are more than just words, and while you're talking through with others how their relationships after their abuse have been influenced, you can take a little more control over your own. You'll also have the opportunity to form friendships and relationships with people who understand where you're coming from - healthy relationships that aren't influenced by your past in a negative way. Sometimes one of the best steps to healing from old wounds is proving to yourself that not only will you not allow it to destroy you, you're going to USE it and do something constructive with it - and it gradually loses it's hold, and stops running your life for you.

Make that three - you've done what you needed to to protect yourself and take yourself out of the combat zone so you can really start to move on. There's no reason whatsoever to feel badly about that, and if she's ever THAT desperate to get in touch, it's not like she doesn't know people you know, she'd just have to swallow her pride to find out. But it'll make you inconvenient enough the games should cease and you can get one with healing and making more of your life without getting dragged back to an emotional place you don't want to be.

Ok, just from the way you're frantic, you're NOT ready to see her in person. Is there a third party you could trust to give her things back to her? If you want to make your intentions clear, that you're not trying to be cruel, write a note to go with the things, and ask a friend or a family member to take them to her place - but I'd avoid the opportunity for what could end up becoming another emotional confrontation that would only leave you feeling about as good as being run over by a truck, dragged a couple miles, and left in the rain for a week. You can be nice about it without putting yourself in the position to invite disaster, and while she might not be thrilled about it, it'll probably be a good bit less painful for her that way as well.

Hair - not obviously gelled and slicked, hands nicely in proportion, eyes - nice direct stare or a bit broody. Body parts nicely proportional, no specific body type though. Talk, debate, kick back and listen to music or watch anime or maybe some old horror dvds and even do things in the same room without it always being "together," be content to hang out. Why? I'm basically a homebody but I like my mind and opinions to be challenged, I don't like being able to walk all over someone. And I like to share interests, but if I want to read a book, work on graphics on my computer, or have quiet time, it's nice to have company in the same room without feeling pressed to entertain each other all the time. Turn-offs, bad hygiene and really horrible teeth, body odor, dirty hands and nails. Not terribly fond of a lot of facial hair, though a little trimmed neatly can be appealing. An excess of cologne is also a no no. Turn ons - confident posture, casual dress and hair, confident moves without being pushy or slick. An air of independence from the crowd, so to speak. Strong opinions and strong personality is a must, I have them myself, and don't want someone I can walk all over. Intelligence is another biggie, not necessarily IQ score wise as much as a flexible mind that can make good interesting conversations - and debates. A strong "independent from the crowd" mentality, not care about what other people think too much of likes and dislikes. Dislikes, except for what runs counter to the above - I don't like the drug scene and wouldn't get involved with someone who's in it. Don't like someone who thinks they're God's gift and I should cater to them either, or who puts all their importance on material things and appearances.

It sounds like you need to have a chat with your friends and make them see the difference between looking out for you, and respecting your decision, whether they think it's a mistake or not. If you don't think you can find the words, write it to them. Maybe something like "I value your friendship, and your opinions, but while I realize you're only trying to protect me, there's a point you have to respect the decisions I make and let me make a mistake if it is one. I'd appreciate it if you'd try to give me the benefit of the doubt for having enough sense to have done some heavy soul searching before making the decision I did. You're not going to be able to protect me all the time, and I need to learn and grow from choices I make, both good and bad. I don't want a schism in our friendship when you disagree with something I decide, even if you think I'm wrong. What I need is your unconditional friendship and support so I can make those choices without fear of it causing trouble between us, where I feel like I'm having to choose between my boyfriend, who I love, and you, who I love as my dear friend. Please try and understand what I'm saying, and how I feel. You'll always have my friendship and support whenever you need it, I hope I have yours." Right now you're in between a rock and a hard place emotionally - and friendship shouldn't come with that string attached. Yes, it's hard to see someone we care about making a decision we think is wrong - but there's a certain amount of faith we have to have in our friends as well that they are capable of making their own choices and might not be making a mistake after all. They need to acknowledge you as having the wit to maybe have access to information and knowledge they didn't - and that you acted accordingly. This isn't something your boyfriend can solve here - he's the "subject" of the conflict so to speak, and has little to no control over how your friends feel about him. So see if you can get a little understanding from your friends where they're just being that, a good friend, and where they're questioning your judgement to the point that they can't accept you have a right to make your own choices. It's when things like this come up that we find out who our true friends are - the ones who are willing to think about what you say and consider it, and accept you without conditions, even if they disagree, are well worth the keeping.

link removed You might want to start there. A big part of it will be accepting that the important person here is you - and both your ex, and the girl he cheated with and went with, are not worth as much consideration as you are. Is this girl really worth the power you're giving her over your feelings? Of course not. She's not worth your time, and she's not worth your pain. Don't give her that power over your life or make you a bitter person, let her go on to find out the hard way what will ultimately result from her actions - and get on with focusing on the person who really matters here - you.

It's possible it was just shedding tissue, the lining from the uterus - but it's also possible it was an early miscarriage. Pills can also change your period a bit from what you're used to, but if you're bleeding after sex - go see a doc. Even if it wasn't a miscarriage, there's other things that can cause infections of various kinds, and it's always better to be safe than sorry. Get checked out and make sure everything's ok, both for your health and your peace of mind.

Spend like, 10 bucks on an ovulation thermometer and chart. Directions are included - but basically you'll take your basal (morning) temp and note it - when you ovulate you'll notice a shift. 14 days is only an average, there's a variance in there, so it'll give you a much firmer idea of your true cycle. And above all - relax. It can take easily six months to get pregnant trying (Murphy's Law - when you're NOT trying is when it's easier!) and the more stressed you are about it, the more your body won't be so receptive. And make sure you have sex/make love for the sake of it, be careful it doesn't become an exercise bent on a goal - because especially if it takes a few months, that can really wear on your relationship. If you're trying, you've probably already taken into consideration - make sure you're really ready for a baby, both yourself, and your relationship. While it does make another bond between you, it will really affect your lifestyle and can be frustrating from time to time - so enjoy each other to the max before having babies!

It's possible - but highly unlikely under the circumstances since she took precautions afterwards. You're likely safe this time. It's a very good thing you stopped, for whatever reason you did - I expect you'll be much more careful in the future after this experience!

I don't know about abuse per se - but it's certainly thoughless and inconsiderate, and you shouldn't have to tiptoe around his temper wondering what's going to set him off. Does he call you names, put you down, belittle you, or make deliberately hurtful comments? When that's a typical thing, that's abuse - your self esteem will go down the tubes, your nerves get shot, and you'll doubt things you thought you knew about yourself. Don't let it go that far - if it hasn't, and he's basically very touchy, try talking to him. If he even gets angry about that, even when you put it calmly and logically, it might be time to think about why you're staying with him. You can want things to change and be willing to work with him, but unless he sees something wrong with the way he treats you, he's not going to change his behaviour, and love isn't supposed to be used to cause pain to your partner.