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I completely agree on taking it slowly. What I was saying though was that I had already made reservations before we broke up. I can always cancel, but then comes that fee...ah well. I am definitely NOT getting my hopes up - I think I am doing pretty well, and I don't know why, for all I know I should still be totally in the pits. It kinda gets me on and off sometimes...like right now I'm fine and I'll probably be fine for the rest of the night, but when I wake up tomorrow, I may be blah... My sister invited me up to New Hampshire a while back for the weekend of Valentines day because my older brother is going over to visit her from California, and they and a couple of my friends from NH are all gonna go out so if nothing happens, I have that to fall back on. =) I'll wait and see what happens. In the interm, I've been working 10 hour days these past few days so I've been pretty occupied and my mind has been off her for the most part, which is good.

thanx for the reply. sorry to hear about your situation. I think I'll be able to handle it if she contacts me. I can play it cool and not over do it. I had planned a big day for us for Valentines day, which included me making reservations at a wine bar. I'm sure I'll be alone on V-day, and so will she, and I'm assuming by then (almost 2 weeks) she'll have contacted ME, so....I can't forsee how things would go until then, but I think I'd still like to take her anyway. Good idea? Or 'seems good and will turn bad' You guys have been awesome, keep up the good opinions

Quick question....at what point do you initiate contact? When she trys to get ahold of me? I don't want her to get the impression that I completely gave up and don't care at all anymore, I mean if that were the situation, I wouldn't be posting in these forums =) Just wait, if she calls or IM's or whatever, then I guess I'm fine to talk back, right?

sounds good. The amount of other stuff I've been finding out since then is making it extra hard not to talk to her, but I've been doing well. My friend hung out with her 2 nights ago and said that she misses me a lot (understandably so, we just broke up) and that she thinks I'm putting up a front that I don't care about her anymore or that I'm already over the entire thing. I was sort of afraid of those types of things happening. I'd like her to have the impression that I'm not sitting here sulking and crying everyday, wallowing in my own misery - which I'm certainly not, I'm doing pretty well - but I don't want her to feel as if I didn't care the entire time we were dating. I guess my only option is to have my friend talk to her for me indirectly about how I'm really feeling. Good idea?

I'm really confused now because she wants to do the no-contact thing, when she initiated the break up. I dunno how this works out exactly.

ok so she broke up with me on the 29th, called me the next day just to talk (we talked just about how we were doing cuz we were both physically sick from different things) and that was about it. Nothing about what'd happened the day before. We talked for maybe half an hour. She IM'd me to tell me that she couldn't come to the party because she had forgot to pick up her medication, and that her Mom didn't really want her going anyway. Towards the end of the conversation she goes "some friends have been telling me that maybe I shouldn't see or talk to you for a while, I think I'm gonna take that advice", doh. She's using my own weapon against me. I told her that that's what I was going to do, but I didn't want to blatantly tell her. This was Friday, and later on I went to the party I talked about befor, and obviously she wasn't there, but I tried to enjoy myself....which ended up being hard since pretty much everyone there knew about what'd happened between me and her. I'd asked her on the phone (Thursday) who she was going to tell at first, if anybody (like her parents, etc) and she said only her close friends. Well I had about 10 (no exaggeration) people asking me "how I was" and "how I was holding up" etc - I came to the party to get away and have a good time, not to be engulfed in pity. I txt'd her and told her I was angry that everyone seemed to know about it. I probably shouldn't have done that but ....... I dunno. I talked to her about it a little yeserday (Saturday), and she said she was sorry but we didn't dwell too much into it. Then she said at the end of the convo, I hope we can hang out sometime in the future, or something like that......I just said "later" (as in 'bye') Other than that I'm doing my best not to contact her. I haven't since yesterday. Any opinions/comments? Appreciated by the way...anyone have dreams after you've recently broken up that you were back together, or that you never broke up, and you were happy as can be..then you wake up, and the pain and sadness is just as bad as when you initially broke up. That really brings me down. It happened to me last night when I was sleeping. Holding hands, laughing and kissing, carefree, then I wake up on my friends couch and I want to cry. Sleep is the worst, if you're not awaken by a dream like that, then you still wake up at a point and remember that you no longer have a significant other. Ok enough blabbling from me. This is making me too upset. Thanks guys.

What should I do if she talks to me online? Just ignore?

I visited and read some posts on this topic: [link removed you want your ex back? Tips, do's, and don'ts! I suppose it makes a lot of sense and answers a lot of my questions. If anyone would like to talk with me though it'd still be nice

I see a lot of people on here (I'm glad I found this site by the way) saying that the best thing to do after a breakup (it's been just 13 hours for me now) is no contact. "None, it's hard, really hard etc, but just do it, it's the best thing to do" I had a relationship about 2 years ago and she broke up with me, reasons uknown - she said it was her fault, she didn't know what was wrong - and I was so upset that I did the "no contact" thing without anyone having to tell me to. I was so angry that I wanted nothing to do with her. I didn't talk to her at all - she tried talking to me a few times and I just blew her off. I got over the relationship a couple months later. This past relationship is more complicated IMO. We were going out for about 8 months, not a long time compared to some of you I know, but my longest to date. I really don't want to dwell into a whole lot of detail just yet, unless you guys (and girls of course) think it will help. We talked for over an hour last night, and I asked her "So what is this?"...to which she replied "breaking up?", and I asked her what type of breaking up it was; Still be friends, don't see each other, don't talk to each other, talk but don't see, etc. She said "of course" she still wants to see me, and later on today (Friday) we were both supposed to go to a party for our friend who is leaving to Virginia. I asked her if she is still going to go, and she said she wants to, she wants to see me, and she asked me if I were going, and I said yeah (I was going regardless) I talked to my sister about this whole ordeal (she's 30 and been through a divorce and has a son), so I knew she was someone I could talk to. She said that I'm in a life rut, and it's gonna be hard for me to think clearly, and that I need to think what's best for Kevin (me). She also said that I shouldn't go to the party because it'll just get dramatic, and if I were to have a few too many drinks, that could lead to more problems. I told her fine, I just won't drink, to which she laughed "we're Irish remember"...that's what I needed - humor. It helped with the last breakup My sister is awesome Anyway, after reading a lot thru these forums, I've come to already respect a lot of your guys' opinions since many of you have been thru same or worse scenarios. I tried doing a forum search for "no concatc" but I got hundreds of results, so I figured I'd start out my first post with this. Is it really the way to go?