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LiquidCherry

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Everything posted by LiquidCherry

  1. LiquidCherry
    I'm not a big advocate of hope. Regardless of all the hope you have things will still end up the same. It is possible, I'll give you that, but we've all heard the saying, "Anything's possible." It could go either way. If 5 people think there's hope and 3 people don't you're still not any closer to your answer. That right there, that's hope. You've suffered through the end of a relationship before and found one even better. That's the way it goes. Only one relationship will ever work out and they keep getting better until you find the one that does.
  2. LiquidCherry
    I'd assume it was a brain fart. There are certain numbers I can dail without even thinking, it's automatic. Other's I know by heart but if I'm slightly distracted I'll dial one of the numbers I can recall without even thinking by mistake.
  3. LiquidCherry
    Hmm.. Yeah, I don't know how you missed this.. My mom dated a man who was an alcoholic. When she wanted him to stop drinking he said, "What did you expect, you met me at a bar." ANYHOW.. I go to school in the morning and afternoon. My boyfriend works third shift so our scheduals are very similar to yours and your husbands. I totally understand not wanting to be in bed alone and having a nice warm body to fall asleep with. My boyfriend will almost always lay down with me and spoon me until I fall asleep. After that he'll play his computer games or whatever until it's time for him to go to sleep. He'll get into bed, I'll wake up, and then I'll lay down with him until it's time for me to go. (This is on the weekends in my case of course but I don't see why your hubby couldn't lay down with you even just for a little bit.)
  4. LiquidCherry
    Aww, yer cute!
  5. LiquidCherry
    My parents slept in separate rooms as well, my mother's choice. They divorced when I was 11 and my brother 9 and I was glad. Not a common reaction but there were other issues as well. Anyway.. Yes, your children are young and their feelings have to be taken into consideration. This doesn't mean you have to be a martyr. Don't teach your children that a relationship, especially a marriage, is supposed to be void of affection and caring. Children learn from example. Think about what that means, both with your marriage and your affair. 4 years is a long time. I'm sure you've tried to solve the problems in your relationship over and over again. There are things that can be done to make a divorce easier on children. Making sure they know it is not in any way, shape, or form their fault is one. Making sure they know that they will not be "losing" either parent is another. I'm sure there are books on the subject.
  6. LiquidCherry
    Regardless of her reply the second question would be kinda (very) scary... I agree with melewen.. Try asking her out on a date.
  7. LiquidCherry
    I'm soo sorry.. I've been in your situation before and it sucks.. a lot. I felt like I was a filler and really, that's what I was: someone to kill time until he found someone else he wanted to commit to. I was a stable companion he could count on and he didn't have to go through the randomness of bad dates until he found someone he really wanted to be with. I know he cared about me, he just didn't care about me enough. With an ego blow like that I didn't really have much of a desire to be friends with him anyway. I felt used. I had wasted mine time while he bided his. I would move on if I were you. Dating is one thing but a relationship without real commitment is another. You deserve someone willing to give you that.
  8. LiquidCherry
    It is a pretty crappy diagnosis but really it's not the end of the world, trust me on this one. Be honest with potential partners.. You'll be amazed sometimes at how well things can work out.
  9. LiquidCherry
    Everything you said is pretty much true except for one thing.. HPV or Human Papilloma Virus is a virus that can cause cervical cancer and/or genital warts. Herpes is called HSV or Herpes Simplex Virus. The two are VERY different with different names.
  10. LiquidCherry
    Most people, when they find out they've hurt someone's feelings, apologize.
  11. LiquidCherry
    How old is your nephew? Is he still a child? The reason I ask is because children who sexually abuse other children are often sexually abused themselves. (yes, I know the "abuse excuse" is a load of crap coming from an adults' mouth but children often aren't capable of dealing with things like this) Starting fires is another symptom of sexual abuse as well. Regardless of how old he is it's not fair to anyone that he gets away with this. Something has to be done to protect these children.
  12. LiquidCherry
    I'd be pretty po'd too. Having to drive all that way, wait around, wait around some more for who knows how long until you're on the right train back, and then driving all that way again. How boring, inconvienent, and worrisome. Sure, it was a mistake, everyone makes those. But I think your parents are right to question if your story is true or not.. That's their job. Try apologizing without being defensive and I'm sure the tension will clear in no time.
  13. LiquidCherry
    Some people have a hard time being direct, especially when they know what they need to say will hurt someone else. I think in her mind she is probably trying to let you down as gently as possible and probably doesn't have the heart to just simply say no.
  14. LiquidCherry
    One of my "friends" boyfriends has to stop every once in awhile. And "she" never minds, in fact "she" thinks it's a mighty fine compliment and loves it when he orgasms regardless of how many minutes have passed. Also, "she" gets to kick back and relax while he finishes her up.
  15. LiquidCherry
    When my bf and I split he would write me an e-mail every so often and ask me to call him. I didn't. I figured that if he *really* wanted to talk to me he would call me. And he did. I wasn't feeling very happy either but I sure sounded like it when I answered the phone. I even sounded happy when I told him it was time for me to go to class soon and I had to go. He even said, "Wow. You just sound really happy."
  16. LiquidCherry
    It's not a matter of it being okay or not, it depends on if you are okay with it or not. Are you? Can you hang out with him as a friend, leave without a kiss goodbye and not cry once you're alone again? I know I couldn't. I find it impossible to be friends with someone I care about romantically because bottom line is, I don't want to be friends with them; I want more. While my boyfriend and I were broken up I hung out with him 2 or 3 times I think before I couldn't take it anymore. If you really want to be friends with him that will have to wait until you've healed. I have to point out that you've already been broken up for a year and when you started having contact with him again he didn't persue a relationship.
  17. LiquidCherry
    When my boyfriend broke up with me he wanted to continue a sexual relationship as well. My exact words to him were, "I will not sleep with someone who does not care enough about me to actually want to be with me. Six weeks later he asked me to take him back. If I had gone about things the way he wanted, hanging out as friends, and having casual sex I would have been left with nothing while he got exactly what he wanted. He never would have had the oppertunity to explore the idea or getting back together. If you ever want him to believe that you are way more important than a fling you need to stop allowing yourself to be one. This can only result in two things: Either he'll see the light and realize he doens't want to lose you or you'll realize that someone who doesn't value your love doesn't deserve to have your heart. No matter what happens you'll be able to stand tall knowing you didn't settle for less than what you wanted.
  18. LiquidCherry
    I sent you a private message.
  19. LiquidCherry
    One ex of mine when I ended things refused to accept it. I had to cut off all communication with him. A few weeks ago I spoke with him online, I didn't realize I still had his sn and he asked how my father was doing. I told him my father had gotten remarried and he replied, "I know, we were supposed to go together but we got into a fight the day before so we didn't." To which I said, "We were already broken up long before that. I was living with somebody else, somebody else I was ENGAGED to." He said, "Oh. I went kind of crazy for awhile." Another ex of mine who dumped me cut off all contact. I tried calling him once and he said, "Why are you calling me? Don't call me again." That got the point accross. I find that the dumpee, be it me or someone else has a harder time accepting that the break up is final if there is contact.
  20. LiquidCherry
    Everybody lies and anyone who says they don't is lying. I understand that lying is an unfortunate aspect of human nature but at the same time it is not acceptable behavior. My boyfriend has lied to me two or three times, about small things, stupid things, things that didn't really matter at all. He lied because he was trying to avoid conflict, the same reason a lot of people lie. They figure a harmless lie is better than an argument. That's true in theory but in practice a lie will cause more of a problem than the truth. It wasn't even what he lied about that bothers me, it's that he lied. I still trust my boyfriend, I just ask more questions for the time being. (And if I don't like the answer he likes to say, Would you rather I lied?") At some point if your boyfriend wants to continue a relationship with you he's going to have to trust you. Part of that is on you, part of that is on him. You have to build it, he has to accept it. He can't dangle this over your head forever. It doesn't seem to me that you lied about anything overly important. I think the issue here is the fact that you lied, not what you were lying about. Tell him your reason for lying and that you are sorry for dealing with it in this way. Ask him what you can do to start rebuilding the trust. (start by telling the truth!)
  21. LiquidCherry
    My boyfriend and I also play MMORPG's together. I'd be mildy upset too if he quit playing because this is something we enjoy doing with each other. Sometimes my boyfriend won't respond to me in game if he's in the middle of a battle, same goes for me. And I know if my boyfriend suddenly quit it'd be because something happened to *really* make him mad at the game. It would have little if anything to do with me. I also know if he's in a bad mood I'm usually not subjected to it as he likes to cool off by himself. Many guys are like this. To be objective it is also possible that he is doubting the relationship but if this is the case there are better ways to handle a situation like that. When my boyfriend and I split for a time neither one of us stopped playing our game, we just simply stopped playing together so again, I don't think it is likely. I do think that you are being a little bit too romantic about this game you play with him. Your actual relationship is much more important and it is only that, a game. People change, interests change. If all pans out a new hobby or activity will fill it's place. (My boyfriend and I also like to watch Angle, we've watched the entire series on DVD and just finished the last episode tonight. It was part our our weekend routine but I know we'll find something else to do.. It's not the end of our relationship!)
  22. LiquidCherry
    I don't want to be judged really but here's what I know from my experience. I used to dance, only for about 6 months but that was long enough. I worked at a nice club.. I never even took off my thong to do a lap dance but some girls were basically prostitutes. Managers and bouncers looked away. Not all the girls were like that but some were. And not all guys will do something like that either. Some go there and just watch and if you try talking to them they'll say they have a girlfriend. Most are respectable enough and keep their hands to themselves during a private dance. Others guys made me feel sorry for their girlfriend. It all comes down to trust. Do you trust your boyfriend? On a side note.. If my boyfriend ever got a lap dance that would be a deal breaker. To me that's cheating.
  23. LiquidCherry
    You've pointed out things that you know are affecting your ableness to be in a relationship and are making strides to improve. Do this for yourself, for the future, and not for someone else. Don't loose heart if she doesn't notice, don't loose a valueable lesson. In my experience I've found that hearing an, "I don't know," when it comes to feelings usually means no. If someone doens't know if they want to be with you they don't want to be with you.
  24. LiquidCherry
    And why the hell not? (sorry, couldn't resist \\ ) Try moving your hips back and forth. Hmm.. It's hard to explain from a woman's perspective.. Let me think about it a bit more.. Ahh.. I got it. While you're inside her move your hips to the left. Pull out (not all the way here of course!) and move your hips to the right at the same time. Insert and move you hips to the left. Repeat. Repeat. Reverse.
  25. LiquidCherry
    I was watching Angle tonight (awesome series btw) and heard some wise words. This isn't an exact quote but it's close enough: "If you keep running in place you'll never catch up with them but if you move on you might catch up with them someday." I also wanted to share something. I don't know if this is the best place to put it but there was a point in time that I wanted desperately to get back together with this person. He absolutely broke my heart. He ended things through an email after over 14 months together and still to this day I have no idea why. One day things were fine and the next it was over. I cried every day for eight months, cried for the last time three years later but I don't really know where that came from. I would have cried and begged for him but he didn't give me the chance. No Contact. ANYWAY.. I found an old friend from highschool on myspace and she has my ex as one of her friends. I couldn't help it and I looked at his profile. It didn't hurt me. At one point in time it would have but now.. I remember I loved him but I don't remember why. I remember mostly how much he hurt me, I just don't feel it any more. I thought for a second that I would send him a message, just to say hi. And then I decided I would not. Why? There's no reason, not one. It's been NC for about 5 years now, a little more I think and I can't think of one good reason to break that. I'm actually kind of bothered at myself that I wanted to send him a message. I don't really know what my point is. I guess that NC is the best way to heal though hopefully no one else here will cry for eight months. That even though you feel at the bottom of the world it really does get better. So much better, I promise. That sometimes they do come back and sometimes they don't. And the only way to know for sure is to move forward. Don't get stuck like I did.
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