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LiquidCherry

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  1. LiquidCherry
    I still think about my ex's. Don't you still think about yours? I regret that I lost feelings for a great guy because he is a great guy but I don't regreat my decision to leave him. Some I think fondly of and have lots of good memories, others I despise and try not to think about but sometimes they pop up. None of them I miss at this point in time, even the one who broke my heart, though I do hope they are all doing well. I've learned something from all my relationships which has helped me develop into the person I am today. I never forget the past nor do I dwell on it; it is simply a part of who I am. So I am sure your ex will still think of you though I don't know the hows, whys, or whens.
  2. LiquidCherry
    Just right.
  3. LiquidCherry
    bkjsun- Wait for her to contact you first. Let her come. Don't chace her now or she'll run away.
  4. LiquidCherry
    I never went through NC. My ex would call me occasionally and sometimes I would answer and other times I would not. But I DIDN'T call him. I always remainded somewhat distant and this was more to protect myself than anything else. What I did was LC because I did want to get back together with him. For me things took a positive turn and so our contact increased. But if they had not I would have began NC.
  5. LiquidCherry
    We have been back together for about a month and a half, longer than we were separated for by only a few days but to me it's a landmark. Things are better than ever because he chose to come back on his own.
  6. LiquidCherry
    Thank you all very much, I tend to agree with you all and just needed to make sure I was looking at this in the right way.
  7. LiquidCherry
    What I did.. Wasn't exactly NC, more like LC. Sometimes I would pick up, sometimes I would not and I would NEVER call back. NC is NC is NC BUT if you want your ex back there has to be SOME contact. And it should all be initiated from their end. How often you respond depends on you, how you're feeling (ie: can you handle the contact without breaking down) and also on why they are contacting you. Is it for friendship and if so do you want to be friends? Are they stringing you along and feeding you false hope? OR are the beginning to realize they want you back? NC isn't used to get an ex back, it's used to heal. Heal if you need to and don't get strung along.
  8. LiquidCherry
    My boyfriend and I successfully got back together but I don't have any really great ideas that are sure fire to get an ex back because well, there really aren't any. Some things I didn't do: (after doing them all ) I didn't call him I didn't ask him for another chance I didn't accept a friendship I didn't beg I didn't explain to him logically why we should be together I didn't tell him I would change I didn't send him cards or other tokens You get the drift. I made most of these mistakes at first and they only pushed him further away from me. I lost hope, gave up, and did my best to move on. I still loved him yes, but I was doing really good and found happiness without him. That's when he came back. I'm a big advocate of doing nothing because anything else you do you will probably regret.
  9. LiquidCherry
    I have a question and would really like the opinions of others on this one so any input would be great! How important is it in a relationship to be open with everything, specifically with sharing passwords to e-mail accounts, voice mail, etc? What are reasons for and appropriate boundaries for password sharing? Is in necessary or irrelevant? If one person in a relationship doesn't know a password is it because the other is untrusting or has something to hide? And on the flip side if one person does know and feels the need to make use of the password does that mean they are untrusting of their partner or untrustworthy themselves? Any thoughts, opinions or answers?
  10. LiquidCherry
    Everyone is intitled to their own opinion and since I disagree with this, here's mine! My very first date with my now boyfriend: We had plans just to hang out at his place, nothing much, but he casually asked me what was my favorite dish and when I came over a few days later he had made me a romantic dinner. I loved this and thought it was very sweet just like I think it would be sweet to get roses delivered. After dating for several weeks I do not believe that most females would be put off by receiving flowers. A kind gesture of this sort doesn't appear desperate to me at all. If this relationship doesn't work out please don't let this keep you from being romantic in the future.. I think you're only mistake was in not realizing exactly how slow she wanted to take things and really you had no way of knowing until now. Wait a few days and see if she calls you. If she does not you might want to call her up, ask how she's been and tell her that you never meant to make her feel pressured in any way and from this point on you will let her lead, which ever direction that may be it.
  11. LiquidCherry
    My boyfriend broke up with me for about a month and a half. After he had made up his mind to break up with me but before he actually did he made out with some random girl he met at a bar. He told me in an e-mail while we were still broken up and I was angry at the time but now.. I dunno, I'm kind of confused and mostly because I still trust him. I really believe that he wouldn't have cheated if he wasn't planning on breaking up with me. Am I being foolish or realistic about the situation? I'd like to hear other's opinions.
  12. LiquidCherry
    I have my own personal opinions about this one. Here it goes: I was married, on BC and trusted my husband 100%. I started developing severe stomach pains and basically felt like I was dying. I went to the hospital and found out I had PID, pelvic inflamatory disease, from untreated chlamydia which very often has no symptoms. Great way to find out your husband is having an affair, right? Of course I divorced him but what gets me most is that even though I was treated and am clean now, because it developed into PID I may be infertile, unable to have another child of my own. If my ex husband had been up front with me about his cheating of course I would have left him AND gotten myself tested for STD's. By not telling me he took away my choice! I have the RIGHT to choose who I am with and what kind of relationship I will have with that person. Sure, even though you never took it that far and never slept with someone else you are still taking away your boyfriends choice. If you can justify that by never doing it again, fine by all means, let it go. BUT if it ever happens again it most certainly is NOT selfish to let your partner know though it IS selfish to hide what you are doing behind their back.
  13. LiquidCherry
    Respect her wishes, as painful as it is.
  14. LiquidCherry
    I'd be concerned if it wasn't that way...
  15. LiquidCherry
    No reason to be depressed! Sure, it might decrease your sensitivity but I've never met a guy who considers it a bad thing. Most guys have enough trouble lasting as it is... I was with one guy who wasn't circumsized and he always wished he was. He didn't feel like he fit into the social norm of what he was "supposed" to look like and always felt a bit self conscious about it. And yes, being circumsized does make hygiene easier because the foreskin has to be pulled back and takes a bit of extra time.
  16. LiquidCherry
    One of my best friends in the whole world is very much gay. I used to go to the bars with him for moral support when he first became open about it. There is a term for women like you. It's called "fag hag". I don't think it's an insult, it just happens to rhyme. While I would never be agreeable to an open relationship, to each their own. But I think you should stick to what your husband is comfortable with. If he is agreeable, great and if not oh well. For any relationship to work you must stick with what either partner is comfortable with.
  17. LiquidCherry
    It sound to me like you ex felt a little pressured to move in with you so quickly, it was probably a step he was not ready for and I think this is understandable after only dating for 6 months. I think after your next outing with him you should simply initiate NC without telling him that this is what you are doing. To me telling someone you are going the NC route seems elementary: "I don't want to be your friend anymore!" or I don't want to talk to you!" If he starts contacting you and depending on his intentions you may want to start LC but let him lead. If he asks why you haven't called you can either tell him you have been busy with your life, family, holidays, etc. or that you find it difficult to maintain a friendship with him at this point in time.
  18. LiquidCherry
    BTW: If you cannot restrain yourself from adding your thoughts on why you should be together in your birthday greeting why not send nothing at all? Sometimes cold turkey is easier. And if you cannot send it understanding you may not get any response you desire or even a response at all do not send it. Don't do anything that will set you back.
  19. LiquidCherry
    There really is no reason to send him a birthday greeting. Like I said before, if it really was important to him for you to be there on his birthday he wouldn't have broken up with you. Now, if you still feel like it would be rude not to (which by the way, it isn't but if that's how you feel..) it would be okay to send him a simple e-mail saying, "Happy Birthday, have a good one," or something like that. Nothing more. Trust me, if he was having second thoughts of wanting to be with you he would bring them up. Trying to convince him with words and logic won't do a darn thing other than convince him that he really doesn't want to be with you. The dumpee is put in a rather helpless prediciment because nothing they do can bring their ex back, the only thing they can do is drive them away. If your ex comes back it will be because of him. When my boyfriend broke up with me after about a week I came over, pled my case, and basically begged for another chance. He agreed but it didn't feel right deep down. I got an e-mail later that night. He was angry, he felt like he was guilted into saying yes and made it very clear that if, IF he comes back he wants it to be because he made up his own mind that it is what he wants to do. He was angry he was convinced and felt manipulated. That's when I let it go and did my best to move on. And yes, he did come back but it wasn't because of anything I did. If I had continued acting the way I had been I would have pushed him further and further away. I stayed away and that's when he realized he wanted and needed me in his life.
  20. LiquidCherry
    It seems to me like he does care for you but doesn't want a long distatce relationship. My advice? Continue your studies (you're not going to put your future on hold for some guy are you?), keep in contact with him as friends and when you return perhaps see if there are any sparks.
  21. LiquidCherry
    It is good to write to get your feelings out and I'm glad you are also not planning on sending this to him. Just for some confirmation that you're doing the right thing: You cannot convince someone by using logic to want to be with you, Logic does not change feelings which simply are what they are. The only thing that causes feelings to change is time and circumstance, for better or for worse and even this is not a gaurntee.
  22. LiquidCherry
    Oh I'm so glad you told him that!
  23. LiquidCherry
    This is a much better attitude to take. You might feel weak but really you are not. It takes a lot of strength to make it through heartbreak. It is a good idea not to write anything about your relationshipw when you wish him a happy birthday. Short and sweet and to the point is the way to go. Stay strong and keep in mind that if there is a chance you won't have to fight for it or make one.. He will let you know. Until then, stick with your plans of NC.
  24. LiquidCherry
    This is what he did say, as your previous post stated: When someone breaks up with you they don't say that they want to drag things out for a bit longer first, they break up with you. They don't need to verbalize that they are ending things today because that is exactly what they are doing and it should be fairly obvious. He didn't say that you had to leave right away because the two of you were living together. He is giving you some time to find someplace decent to live, pack up, and move out. That doesn't mean he wants to continue dating you during the process. If he simply didn't want to live with you at this point because he thought things went to fast he would have said, "Hey, I think we moved a little too quickly and I think it would be better for our relationship right now if we didn't live together." He wouldn't have broken up with you if this was what he wanted. Some people when they break up keep their plans that they had made during the relationship. I've done this before, had friends who have done this before, and read countless posts about people doing this. I hate breaking plans, most people are taught that it is rude. I think this might be why it happens but regardless, I've always found it to be both painful and awkward and it certainly does not gaurntee you will get your ex back. I remember crying myself to sleep after a trip to NYC with an ex who wanted to remain an ex. I am sorry for being so harsh but I get the impression that you are not accepting what he has told you. I know it's hard but it's something you have to do.
  25. LiquidCherry
    He said that he is open to the idea of getting back together. This is not the same as wanting to get back together but at least he's let you know that he is thinking of it and I'd say it's a positive sign. That being said, I would wait for him to conact you and let him lead BUT I strongly suggest that you tell him you are no longer willing to sleep with someone who you are not committed to. I think you know that when my boyfriend broke up with me he acted in a very similar manner to your ex so I've felt somewhat of a connection to your post as I understood how confusing and difficult the situation is. He tried on several occasions to hook up with me and I always turned him down. I told him casual sex was not what I wanted in any way. A saying ran constantly through my mind: "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" If he gets to have you, physically or emotionally, while the two of you are not together you are probably not going to end up having him. Wait for him to contact you and let him lead. Do this by remaing somewaht distant. That's the best advice I have to offer.
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