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LiquidCherry

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Everything posted by LiquidCherry

  1. LiquidCherry
    She might not even realize she is sending them to you. Usually chain letters are just sent to everyone in the address book. I'd just block them, it'd be over and done with just like that.
  2. LiquidCherry
    FYI: "Red Wings" is NOT another way of saying a female has her period.. It goes a little bit beyond that... So to share my vast knowledge of gross slang here goes nothing. Everyone knows what a milk mustache is and now that you have that image in your head think really hard about how a guy can get his "red wings". Okay, stop thinking about it now. Yuck!
  3. LiquidCherry
    I know how you feel, my boyfriend is very close to his best friend and sometimes I'll start feeling the same way. For me it mostly has to do with my own insecurities and jealousy issues though so it is an issue that I don't bring up because I'd rather deal with it on my own. Look at all the time your boyfriend usually does spend with you and try not to hold this against him now. It's only for 6 more days. Also, guys usually don't have a lot of friends that they are actually *close* to so the friend or two they are close with tends to be a highly valued relationship... as it should be. I'd also give your guy some credit for inviting you along.. Even if it is no fun sitting around and watching video games. Sure, you feel left out but look at it this way, you are still welcomed into his life. I had a rough weekend cause my boyfriend went to a lan party. (Yes, it was an all weekend party.) I was invited but didn't really want to go... No space on my computer, no other girls, etc.. I felt really left out too, much like you do now. I felt unimportant, jealous, insecure.. But it was only three days (wait, no, four) and things are back to normal and I'm feeling much better now. I'm sure you will too!
  4. LiquidCherry
  5. LiquidCherry
    I'm in no place to judge your relationship but I know I would never open up a joint account with someone I wasn't married too. Perhaps you could save separately and combine your funds when you actually go on the trip... It sure is a long way off.
  6. LiquidCherry
    I don't really think that it's a "problem" that you get bored easily, you just haven't found someone you want to be with yet. Nothing wrong with that and it's never a problem knowing what you want. I do think that telling someone that you think they are boring is a little mean though, I know it would hurt my feelings and being rejected hurts enough as it is. Perhaps just telling someone that you simply aren't clicking would be enough, especially in the early stages of a relationship. btw, "well I think talking to you is pointless so I have nothing to say" is COCKY
  7. LiquidCherry
    nikkers04- What you say is technically true. I believe I read once that on a women's most fertile day of the month there is a 70% chance of getting pregnant. Don't forget about Murphy's Law though!! I had sex once without a condom. Guess what I have? A four year old! shorty04- Was the condom you were using lubricated with spermicide? Not that it's nearly as effective in preventing pregnancy but it would still help. The MAP prevents a fertilized egg from implanting itself in the lining of the uterus. When do YOU consider an embryo a baby? At the moment of conception? When the heart starts beating? When it looks like a baby?
  8. LiquidCherry
    I keep photos of formal dances I went to while in high school. I'll keep photos of an ex IF other friends are in it. Other than that I won't, they all get thrown away. Why? Because to me it's a part of letting go and moving on.
  9. LiquidCherry
    You did the right thing! I was married and my husband left for another girl. He came back and wanted to work things out with me and for the sake of our family I agreed. But when things got tough he left yet again for the same girl. That's when I stepped out of the picture. No way was I going to fight for him, no way was I going to compete with this other girl. He would have been happy to continue jumping back and forth when things stopped being rosy and he was great at trying to string us along. But like I said, I didn't want to play this game. I didn't even bother with an ultimatum; I divorced him. He is now married (and quite unhappily) to this other girl, what a catch she got! I know what you're going through is painful and like you said, I too think it is possible he may decide to be with her ("easier and no rules"). If he doesn't want to change his behavior he'll have to find someone that will put up with it. Don't let it be you.
  10. LiquidCherry
    I think you're right. In fact, I know you are. If I keep asking more and more of him, and never having it be good enough I will drive him away. Stupid, insecure questions will drive him away and that will only feed my insecurity further. I guess I could become pretty good at turning unfounded insecurities into something newly founded. And you're right, I should question decisions he's already made. I guess that is rather foolish. He tries as best he can to make me feel secure. He's not perfect in this but he tries the best he can, I know this and that should be good enough. Maybe I will try a different approach. Maybe I will tell him that I have been feeling insecure but rather than asking him to do more I will tell him that he is doing a good job and thank him for it. I'm going to try my hardest to let the past go and stop letting it get in the way of our relationship now. Our relationship now.. There isn't a lot to complain about if I look at it that way.
  11. LiquidCherry
    To me it sounds like he's mad cause he's afraid now he'll get into trouble. It doesn't really matter if your mother tells his or not, you did the right thing by coming clean.
  12. LiquidCherry
    The problem is.. I think many of my insecurities are in my own mind. That's why I don't know if I should talk to him or not. The reason for our break up was.. Complicaited.. To say the least. But the solution was very simple. That reason is partly why I am still able to trust him not to cheat on me. It's his feelings for me I don't trust. I know I should but I don't. I spent so long feeling this way I don't know how to stop. There was a time when I had every reason to feel this way. He wasn't over his ex and he was debating to stay or go. Now he is over his ex. He still cares for her yes, I'm fine with this. None of their interactions are hidden from me. They are minimal anyway and don't really bother me. He also made up his mind to be with me, that I am worth the risk and the reason for our break up is no longer an issue, it was a change that had to come from within himself and it did. In fact it should prove to me that he truly loves me and yet it does not. I'm starting to think this has something to do with my self esteem. Essentially these insecurities continued even though the situations were resolved. How do you make something like that go away? I want him to hold me, look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me. He does this. The only thing I can think of to resolve this isn't working and I don't think it ever will. That's why I believe I have to find a way to fix this on my own. I don't think there is anything more he can do. Except maybe listen. Maybe if I just sat down with him and got it all out at once instead of in bits and pieces. Maybe if he knew the depths that he's hurt me I could start letting it go instead of holding it all inside. Maybe it's not even that. Maybe I have to forgive him.
  13. LiquidCherry
    We got back together on 11/7 so it's been almost 2 months. But I've felt this way for most of our relationship starting when I realized he wasn't over an ex, continueing on when I sensed he was going to break up with me and now still because of everything. Whenever I try to bring it up I'll say something like, "If she came back to you would you still stay with me?" Just questions like that, insecure stupid questions so no, I've never sat down and just told him how I really feel. I just kind of hint around at with with stupid questions. I'm afraid to talk to him about it cause I don't think anything can really be done about it. I'm also kind of afraid he really won't care to even try and I don't know if that is founded or not.
  14. LiquidCherry
    I have anxiety issues and have actually had heart paplations so strong I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the ER. It doesn't happen all the time though sometimes when it happens I don't even realize how stressed out I am. I think it has something to do with the fact that I internalize a lot of my emotions. Learning how to better manage stress has helped.
  15. LiquidCherry
    My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. I love him, things are great. BUT... For a long while my boyfriend wasn't totally over his ex. He didn't want to be with her but he still had some feelings I guess. I knew this and made a decision to stay with him anyway. He broke up with me for a period of about six weeks. He did return to me, said he had made a mistake and I took him back. A day before he broke up with me he made out with another girl at the bar. He said when he did it he had already made up his mind to end things with me which was how he rationalized it at the time. He has apologized, feels bad and knows it was wrong. I am very insecure in our relationship now because of these things. I'm afraid if we fight he'll end things again. I worry that he really still isn't over his ex and I'm second choice to him. I also don't trust him like I used to. Mostly I just don't trust how he feels for me. I worry he doesn't really love me or that he'll leave me again. Sometimes I try telling him how I feel but I don't think I do a very good job. He'll tell me he loves me. He tells me he wants only me. It just doesn't make me feel better. He tells me it's all in my head because he really does love me. His words just aren't sinking in. I don't know what to do. This is slowly eating up on me. On one hand I want to sit down and really talk to him and just get it all out at once instead of in a sentence or two. On the other I don't know if there's anything he can do to make me feel reassured and secure so why bother. Is the security in our relationship lost for good? Is there a way to get it back and if so how? Is this something I deal with on my own? I'm tired of feeling like this. I love him so much but if I can't fix it I'm afraid our relationship really is broken for good. I don't want that.
  16. LiquidCherry
    Don't go tomorrow selfi. Don't let him torture you even just one more time. Write him out of your life for good and take a step towards regaining your pride and self worth. This has been drug out long enough and he doesn't deserve to get the last word in. Don't let him do it. NC, NC, NC!!
  17. LiquidCherry
    I spend some of my free time on the computer usually playing games or chatting to friends. I don't tell my boyfriend about my conversations unless one happened to be interesting but usually they are not and hardly worth mentioning. In fact, if I were to tell him, "oh I talked to so and so today over AIM," I think he'd look at me funny and wonder why I was about to bore him with this conversation. I couldn't sleep last night and "talked" to one of my friends online. The conversation lasted about 40 minutes. In real life it would have taken less than five, I'm sure. I understand why you would want to know a little about what your boyfriend does but for me the computer has this nice brain numbing quality about it and I know I also don't consider conversations I've had online as something I've done that day. When telling my boyfriend the trivial things that happened to me I'll tell him about how my son's dentist appointment went, how my classes are going, and the idiot who cut me off when I was driving to the store.. Never have I brought up the internet. It's not that I'm hiding something from him I jiust don't consider it an important part of my day.
  18. LiquidCherry
    While I have my own doubts about this story I also think it is possible. I always take rape claims with a grain of salt but still consider them to be very serious. The first post said he woke tied up the next morning. If he crashed and was raped the next day that solves the drunk/erection dispute. (Also, just because someone is drunk doesn't mean they can't get an erection AND just because someone doesn't get an erection doesn't mean they weren't raped.) And I know a male can and often does get an erection even when being sexually abused. Like other's have said, their body is simply responding to stimuli. Men often keep quiet about being raped because they are embarrassed and ashamed so to me it makes sense that he would confide in a female friend he was not dating. And while I do think it is possible that this happened there is one thing I am finding hard to swollow.. That he was raped by two girls. Not one. Two. Which means they were both doing this to him. Unless they were assuming that they were preforming what they thought would be any guys fantasy.. I dunno. I'm kind of hoping that he is just feeling guilty about cheating on his girlfriend. I don't like to think that others have to suffer because they were raped.
  19. LiquidCherry
    It hurt because you're only getting a small part of what you want and are left feeling, putten lightly, unsatisfied. If you were content with only seeing him you wouldn't have driven home so sad. Don't settle for less than what you want. You want a relationship while he doesn't. Don't settle for contact that makes you cry. I think letting go entails many things. It means taking care of your own feelings and needs first because you matter. It means stepping up to the pain one feels when a relationship ends, confronting it, and overcoming it. It means relearning to be happy by yourself and moving forward. Ultimately you will fall out of love with him. Don't be afraid of that! The love you have is good and should be given to someone who will give that same kind of love back. Unrequitted love is so painful because you are getting none of the love you deserve in return and you do deserve it!
  20. LiquidCherry
    I broke up with someone and we wanted to be friends very much. He was hurting and started NC for 6 months and then, when he was ready we started a friendship and have been friends every since. (6 years now) So... It IS possible to still be friends with someone after NC, in fact, I think it is necessary on both parts so that emotions can settle. Oh, and BTW, my ex never told me that he was starting NC. He simply blocked my AIM, my email, and didn't return a phone call. I never once thought he was being rude and if I had made any kind of protest I think that would have been quite selfish on my part. I think you're doing great too.
  21. LiquidCherry
    Wether or not you parted on good terms is irrelevant in regards to NC. He ended your relationship so it really isn't a mystery. Also, no reason to feel rude about supposedly "leaving him in the dark." You don't have to think in terms of "we" anymore and have every right to think and act in ways that are in your best interest. You don't owe him anything at this point, not even an explanation. Now, if you are in NC/LC with him and he shows up unannounced at your doorstep I would first think that he is being rude. If someone broke up with me and then after a time I became stronger and stopped him from stringing me along by starting NC and then at that point they showed up at my house I'd think they had a lot of nerve. They cared little enough to end the relationship but care so much about a missed phone call that they feel like they have to check up on me? Actually, I don't see this being an issue at all BUT if it were to happen you could simply tell him at that point that you've been busy and don't wish to spend the time you do have on someone who walked away. Also, imagine how awkward it would be to see him at one of theaters after you've told him that you want to start having NC with him. It makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it! Now if you don't tell him and you happen to run into him you can briefly say hello and then continue on your own ways.
  22. LiquidCherry
    No you're not being mean and selfish! And I think the best way to communicate NC/LC is to simply do it. No need to tell him or write him a letter. Remember, you are in control and owe him no explanations.
  23. LiquidCherry
    I learned this lesson years ago and remember very well how much it hurt me. It broke my heart all over again, I was simply crushed. In my situation, and perhaps in yours it lead to a painful realization that our relationship truly was over. I was devastated but I knew at that point I had to move on. It feels awful but you're not being destroyed, you're becoming stronger. Stronger, wiser, and I promise you, when you're ready your next love will be greater for it all.
  24. LiquidCherry
    If he wants to press charges he does need to report them, at least the girl he knows and if a confession is made they can charge the other girl as well. The longer he waits it is less likely he will be taken seriously. In fact, it would have been best if he had gone to the hospital or police station as soon as he could have after it happened. It is really up to him what he does though. Some people wish to press charges, others do not. If they were laughing.. Is it possible that these girls weren't taking his no's seriously? Even so, no always means no.
  25. LiquidCherry
    So.. Your friend went to a party and passed out only to wake the next day to find himself tied to a bed and two girls.. I don't know how big your friend is but I know if my boyfriend passed out at a party it would be pretty much impossible for two girls to drag him into a room and lift him onto a bed. Dead weight is heavy. So these two girls raped him the next day, when they were no longer under the influence of alcohol? It sounds like people crashed at the house the party was at... And no one else was there to help him? There are two possibilities that I think are likely. The first being that your friend got drunk and cheated on his girlfried. I hope this is what happened. The other is that your friend really was raped because yes, his story would be considered rape. Going on the assumption that it is true Ghostrider is absolutely wrong. Your friend confided in you, NOT his girlfriend and unless he wants to tell her she has no right to know, none. Rape is often embarrassing for males in addition to many other feelings, and regardless, it is a personal issue and only the people he feels comfortable with telling should know. You can advise your friend to seek counseling or to contact authorities but again, this is a personal choice and his decision alone, not yours or anyone else's. Also, he should be tested for STD's regardless of whatever else he decideds to do. Tell your friend that it's called "giving your virginity" because it's a gift. A gift can't be stolen or taken from you, it's still his to keep for as long as he chooses.
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