selfi

Hi Dorsay, I dont think your pain is due exclusively to one factor only. Theres nothing wrong with having sadness over your ex, when I think about Evan I dont exactly feel great that he chose to finish our friendship. I tried for months to romantisise the break up...what a silly thing to do. Now I see that HE has opened up doors for ME! Through my break up I have strengthened friendships, discovered my own emotional strength, saved alot of money (!) and as an extra perk, have attracted a new man in my life. You too will soon realise that it is our choice to be free, and it will happen when you least expect it!

thanks turqoise, hugs to you too ...guess what? Ive met a wonderful guy. Well, not "met" exactly, he's been a friend of mine for nearly a year now Its so strange how at one point I thought I could NEVER have feelings for another being ever again, and then one day Im here developing real feelings for another. Im taking things very slowly, and not ready for any full blown relationship right now, but weve been spending alot of time together recently and its great to be happy and free again.

Nice post Dako, sums it all up.

Hi shoes and dorsay thanks for your insight, quite helpful and relevant to what im writing about today. I havent been on the forum for a little while, as a friend of mine was involved in a horrific car crash that he barely survived. Time is too precious to waste on my primarily self centered ex partner. Ive come to the realisation that he isnt and never was, responsible for my happiness. I do miss the wonderful times we had together and in some way probably always will, but this guy left me. TWICE. This is not the type of person one should idealise and hold candles for. No matter how 'nice' his letters were... what's the point in analysing them? As each day goes by, I miss him less and less. Our relationship was fantastic, but dumping the one you love over the telephone is anything but that. p.s you made me blush ghost - Selfi

Thanks very much as always Scotcha and Rosie. You lifted my spirits.

*shudder* the whole lyrics sending thing is immature and reminicant of my own ex. Ignore the lyrics, do not get enveloped in someone elses words he has given you.

You guys are right- keeping in contact with him via email isnt healthy when I dont want to be his buddy. I checked his myspace for the first time in a while and it made me instantly cry, which is a strong indication that any form of contact is only going to cut into me. I really trully miss him. The holiday season allowed me to push the sad thoughts aside, but today Im having a bad day

Happy NY to you too sillygurl! Rosie - Im sure NC will definitely be a rewarding experience for you, not checking his webpage is a great step to freeing yourself, not long ago I used to check my ex's myspace every few hours, and now I had forgotten he even had one till just now! Although this is a little off topic; I slept with the first person since Evan leaving me recently, it was a friend of whom has liked me for some time now but not someone I have any romantic feelings for. I do treasure him as a buddy. Although it distracted me entirely, afterwards a huge guilt wave came about, as I felt bad for what happened. (Things wernt helped when the friend I had sex with expressed his desire to have a relationship with me) ANYWAY my ex sent me this email two days ago, I havent replied. Dear XXXXX, Hello In more than an hour... or several it will be 2007, i hope you are surrounded by good friends and many drinks tonight. I'm goin to jacks house, he is having a hawaiin party, but im going to be rebelious and just wear what i want! i've been working a lot recently, at 10pm christmas eve i got called into work for christmas day at 8am, was very angry. Had to work boxing day for 9 hours and also i have to work tomorrow at 9am and then tuesday at 6am till 4pm. Feel like ive been dodged over a bit, but i spose someone has to work those * * * * days. Hope you are well and i know you will be looking at the stars tonight, i will to okay. Have a great night, xo E ps. the larry david star wars thing had me laughing, i recorded it on my phone ANY thoughts? All I can denote from it is that he took pretty much the exact amount of days to reply as I did and from the last "p.s" remark, that he still regulary checks my MySpace page Thanks in advance as usual

Rosie and stotcha how was your Xmas? Mine went well (and I also got quite spoilt too!) X hasnt written back as yet, but im not worrying (really im not!). Guess Ill take that as a "no I dont want to be in contact with you I just sent you that letter to load off excess guilt"

Scotcha and Rosie, thankyou for your thoughtful and logical advice. I feel very disappointed in myself, as I sent off the note last night before I read your replys. Im so sorry, please dont feel like im throwing your time and effort in your faces, since I didnt get to read your replys, I thought the whole letter thing was no big deal after all. Sorry again, I didnt even stop to think about his hidden motives in making contact with me wouldnt be as wholesome as he claimed. Sorry again p.s Its Xmas day here in Australia right now, so Merry Christmas

Sillygurl, rosie, turquoise, thanks so so much, for your input. Im going to send a reply to him now. I know it sounds like im blowing this out of proportions, but its been hard for many reasons. Do you think by me asking if he is interested in keeping in touch is not appropriate? Dear XXXX Hello. Its hard to believe tomorrow's already Christmas Day, I was bought a fish in a jug as a present. It was really nice to hear from you. Would you like to keep in touch? -Selfi ??

oh my god, I dont think Im strong enough to do that...

Thanks sweetheart. Theres a part of me that this letter also makes me mad. He knew it would make me crumble, Id have much rather him have called me to say merry christmas then hang up I also dont understand the whole, "forgetting to put a stamp on the envelope thing" it sounds like an excuse for him to type up an easy email. And whats with the whole "guess my new email password?! Theres also a few other things he wrote that contradict eachother. I do need to send some form of reply... So do you think I should just send him back a note with the necessary details so he can pay my father back, with nothing else written AT ALL?

Last time he came back...yes it was his decision. He knew I wanted to be with him but when he did come back he did everything he could to built the relationship from scratch and SHOW me how much he cares for me Obviousely his most recent actions are on the contrary Thanks for the suggs so far everyone, i feel really hopeless

I honestly have no idea what i would reply to him, it all feels very raw... I want to tell him how I feel and that I really want to be in contact and see him again. But his words seem distant and like he no longer cares for me to ever be with him again. Im trying to analyse the letter, I feel that he doesnt particulary mind if i respond or not, he was just trying to rid himself of some guilt. Either way I have to give him my account info as he owes my family $500, so should I just send him those details and absolutely nothing else? I feel somewhat trapped. Last month he broke it off with me, we were dating for 9 months and for 5 months before that....this is the second time he has left me He broke it off this time citing that he "couldnt be with me anymore"