BabyGirl_1

Okay, since I've found this website I've noticed that I can depend on everyone for their honest opinions(which I really appreciate)so here goes. Along with all the other problems in my life, my family has never really been the type to express our feelings to one another and in a way, we are (in a way) split in half by my mother and father. I have three sisters and one brother, my father has his favorite, my sister that is the second youngest and my mother has her favorite, which are my brother and my oldest sister. My sister that is the second oldest and myself pretty much stands alone. Well...a year ago things got even worst. My sister (the second oldest) noticed that her two year old daughter was very red and complained about pain in her private area when she bathed. With a bit of investigation she found out that my nephew put his private part inside her. Hurt, confused and angry my sister went over to speak with my oldest sister and her husband (my nephew's parents) about the situation to see what to do about it. The next week my nephew was out playing sports as if nothing ever happened. My oldest sister and my mother persuaded my second oldest sister not to take her daughter to the doctor. They did not want the doctor to ask how it happened and end up contacting the proper authorities (which is what I wanted). Now a year has passed and no one has told my brother about it even though he has a daughter, and no one has punished him or brought the situation back up. My mom and sister works together to cover it up. Recently, tension has been building up more because my oldest sister allows my nephew to play with girls and expects my second to the oldest sister to be okay with the fact that my nephew hugs and kisses on my niece. What is wrong with her? What does she expect! Anyway, new-years eve my oldest sister's house burned down due to my nephew, he was playing with fireworks in the house. Should I not be smiling about this? I see it as only the beginning, I am curious of what he is going to do next. Of course, they tried to hide the fact that he did it and the same night he popped fire works and is back to playing sports. My nephew is great when it comes to sports and I believe they think he may be famous one day and that is why they will not pull him out of sports or really discipline him. What should I do? Continue to sit back and watch and allow them to have this gag order on myself and everyone else? Or should I speak up and make something happen?

I still don't know what to do about my marriage. I posted a few days ago that I wanted to leave my husband but I just didn't know how to go about doing so. Well, I have been so depressed, up one day down the next. I Love my husband as I said but I just don't feel that we are compatible. The sex is great sometimes but only because I'm able to masturbate I believe. The first year of marriage was hard; we dealt with abortions and miscarriages, my beliefs that he cheated his mother and his son's mother we would actually fight behind these issues. Our second year of marriage got better much better but the sex was predictable and boring and our finances were shaky because he lost his job behind some girl at work (I still don't really know what happened there). Now we don't fight but only because we don't talk about our problems we just swallow our pride and put on our brave faces. In the past I have gone to a therapist about our problems alone because he didn't want to come but I stopped going because I felt I was fighting battle not worth fighting for. I just don't want to be here anymore but I don't want to abandon my husband and my step-son. Plus I am dealing with personal issues such as my family and my future. My husbands mother and father split, he and his son's mother were never married but split, and now he and I might split and I am afraid of the emotional toll it may have on him. What he may do scares me because he doesn't want me to leave and....I don't know I feel sorry for him. He has been great here lately but only because I think he knows that I am really fed up with arguing with him behind every little thing. I can't even make a comment about anything that annoys me without him going from 0 to 90 in 5sec. flat. I believe he has cheated on me before also but of course we can't sit down and discuss it because he ignores me or goes crazy (not physically). His being older (5yrs.) has a lot to do with it as well he is too mature for me at times. He knows that I am a loud person he knew that when we were dating but he continues to shush me when we are in public; He has to know everything that goes on, in or out of my life. Things like: what my conversation was about on the phone with my girlfriends or my sisters. Not that he's controlling he is just really nosey and it annoys the hell out of me. Anytime I have a friend over he sits and makes it his company instead of speaking and going on with his business (is that rude of me to say?). He has his friends, he just chooses not to hang out with them and whenever they come around I give them their space. I have had to get on to him and a friend because I came home one day from work and my gf came over and they were joking and talking as always but the conversation of her not wearing panties to a party came up.....She told him that a lot of girls were at this party with no panties on and he asked her if she had on her panties and bra. I found that conversation to be very inappropriate and when I approached him (alone) he was angry at me for having a problem with it. That is always, he seems as if he is perfect and anything he says or does I should accept. Yet I love him and care for him but I think we would make better friends than lovers. What should I do? There is much more, just don't want to have you reading all day.

First of all, If he wanted to be with you and If he loves you as he says he does, he wouldn't have to hide the fact that you two are together. He is telling you only what you want to hear, not the truth. Why does he have to wait for his girlfriend to leave if he is so in to you? Don't be naive sweetie. He must be telling his gf something because she's still around, you are way to young anyway. Im sure there is another guy out there that wants to be with you and ONLY you. Find another guy, life is too short and you are young so live it up.

Bad Idea... Bad Idea.....Bad Idea!!!!!!! You should have sex with someone you are attracted to and Love. It may seem meaningless right now because you are young and obviously bored or should I say curious. Sex has a major affect on an individually emotionally especially a female, are you sure she doesn't have stronger feelings for you and wants you to be her first? If that is the case then you are about to open a huge can of worms. Your friendship will NEVER be the same after sex, Don't do it. If I could go back in time I would have saved my virginity for someone I really liked or loved. I did it just to please the guy, and regretted it to the fullest afterward I never spoke to the guy again I was disappointed in myself. Think about it. What happens afterward?

My husband met when I was seventeen. At the age of seventeen I became pregnant and feared for my life(my mother was very strict and opinionated, my father a preacher)so I aborted with them never knowing I was pregnant. Well, my husband and I married shortly after and I became pregnant and aborted again because I wasn't ready to be a mother. I know I should have just used protection(stupid of me I know). Anyway again I was pregnant but miscarried how I don't know it just happened. It has been three years since then and I have yet to become pregnant and my husband wants kids but is patient. I have seen a doctor and they say everything is fine but It just doesn't add up, what is going on? Any advice?

I have been married for only four years and I can relate to what you are experiencing . I wish I could help but we stand in the same shoes....Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I too don't know how to go about telling or should I say "conviencing" my husband that I need out of this marriage. I've analyzed my marriage to it's depts and still I have no answers. Good Luck!

Thank you everyone for your GREAT advice. Just for the record and for my husbands sake. My husband supports me 100% with my singing that is what makes it so much harder to leave. He would really give me the world if he could, he just can't bring himself to share his true thoughts and ideas about us and anything else that really matters. I battle with my sisters because we sing in a group and I don't want to sing without them but have no choice but to sing solo. My husband incourages me that I can do it on my own and that I have the true drive and talent to make it. Ushers(the male singer) song Let It Burn is exactly how I feel about this situation.

Hi, I'm 22, I live in Louisiana and I am in desperate need of advice. I met my husband at my place of employment at the young age of 17(he was 22). Yes, I am 22 and already I have been married for four years now. My husband and I knew one another for almost ten months before we were pushed into getting married by everyone in my family. Don't get me wrong I loved him and of course I thought I was in love with him (in a way he was my first real boyfriend) but….. Well, I am maturing now and I guess you can say I am starting to notice what a huge mistake it was to marry so young and so soon. I have a different view on what I now want in life and I don't know how to get it. I don't even know where to begin. My husband has a son and I love him to death but he isn't my son and it's starting to become more and more obvious to me that I really don't belong or I just don't want to be here. I've helped raise his son since he was almost two; we rotate weeks with the child's mother and as he grows older more and more problems occur. Such as him being spoiled rotten by both parents, and my disagreeing with that because he is with me a mass majority of the time and the fact that I don't think I want kids now because I am forced to be a mother right now and I'm not ready to be one right now or at all. His ignoring my imputs on raising his son or how to deal with the mother. That isn't my biggest problem; my biggest problem is the relationship with my husband of course. I have tried to sit down and talk to him about our sex problems, how it is boring and I would like to spice it up in some way but he ignores the situation and continues on with life as if I've said nothing. I have suggested marriage counseling but he thinks that if I'm the one who is unhappy, then I should be the one to seek counsel. We can't talk about serious situations without getting annoyed or frustrated with each other, which is what makes it even harder to continue in this marriage. We have never shared fantasies or even experimented outside of normal sex. I have a more aggressive sex drive then he and I've told him this and like every other situation, he will bury our problems and continue on. What do I need to say or do because I've told him that I want to leave to find out what I want in life and stop going by what every one else wants for me or from me in life. He pretty much took it as a joke because he changed the subject and continued on and acts as if everything is perfect. What do I do? I do love him and he is a good man he would give me the world if he could but, I don't want this relationship anymore. Honestly I want a feel of what I've been missing in life because it has to be better than this. I moved out of my parent's home when I was 17, graduated from high school and then I was married, aborted at the age of 17 and it's all just moving too fast for me. I am now in college and my husband supports me but...Maybe school is an influence on freedom or something. I have a dream of being a professional singer and at times I feel like I was pushed off track when I got married because I'm just now entering school.I think I would be closer to achieving my goals if I would have stayed at home and worked on my goals first. I can't speak for him because we don't share how we feel about my feelings but I don't see us together too much longer and I don't know how to end it because I'm afraid of the aftermath(such as the house and the cars who gets what) and what my family may say and think of me because in a way I'm the rock of our family the only one that seems to have it all together. I am so depressed about this. I wrote my husband a letter expressing my feelings because my tone is often a conflict and he spoke about my feeling toward his son but that was it.He never brought it up again he really acts as if everthing is perfect. Help me please because the depression is way to overwhelming I want to just up and go.