red10

thanks for another... well, i asked if he was seeing anyone...he said no...and my friend told me he was single.... he put my number in his phone....in the way that you call that number (mine) and it automatically saves it, you know? and at the same time maybe that was his way of giving me his number? as far as the email, i was thinking it's easier when you don't know someone very well to communicate via email/text.... hmm...guess i'm answering my own question, huh? i should text him tom. what have i got to lose i guess!!!

so i met this guy the other night...he's a friend of a friend. we def. are attracted to each other, we kissed - it was wonderful and we hung out all night....it was at my house (halloween party)... and i tell him that if he wants, he can call me sometime...(meaning i'm interested of couse!)...so he quickly whips out his phone and kind of looked a little surprised, put my # in his phone...but i noticed he dialed my # and then closed his phone...all the time showing me what he's doing....so basically he called my phone so i had his #, didn't put my # in his contacts list..but it was in his phone...what, does that mean i should call/text him? earlier we were talking..a couple things i learned about him: he's shy, and loves to text message... he also emailed me during the week, and i replied...but it's been since tues. and haven't heard from him....supposed to go out tom. night with his friend...should i text him tom. during the day? or is he not interested?? just not sure i guess. i'm not good with the dating scene...and i've only met him 2x....but i can't stop thinking about him... any ideas? thanx for reading this

hey - i've been in a situation like that before...really though, take it like any other relationship...just be careful. my ex and i also talked about all of that stuff before we "got together" and after we broke up he didn't move out like he had promised..that's when things got tricky..but every relationship is different in its own way, and even if it may have worked out for someone else, it may not work out with you and vice versa....life is about taking risks, but just remember that things aren't always going to go the way you want them too. and definitely tell him about what you posted.. communication and honesty are a couple of the most important part of a relationship best of luck to you.

there's no time on how long it's supposed to take to heal.....everyone is different with different situations - all I can say is take however long you need there's nothing wrong with that - i think maybe if you feel like you should heal in a month, year...etc...and when that times comes, if you're not, then you might feel even worse... Don't put a time on it. Just do what you need to do and eventually you will feel that weight off your heart

hey sadie - welcome to ENA! I think it's tough the situation you are in. It's always harder when you are actually in the spot rather than the one to be on the outside...you seem like you know what you need to do (leading to the ultimatum) HOWEVER, based on personal experience, I think an ultimatum is hard for both parties, even if it's for a good purpose - in your case, you need to know what this guy really wants for your own sake, thereforeeee you need to give some sort of ultimatum! Have you two really sat down and talked about this? does he really know how much this bothers you? Communication is key to a relationship - but if you have done that, and he still continues this behaviour, then I think you should just call it quits...as easy as it sounds - I know! Maybe he really just needs to see what it's like for you to not be there for a little while? it's hard, but this is for you, you certainly do not want to be in this if you're not going to get what you want out of it....do you know what you want? I don't know if I helped at all, but just a little input for you...hopefully others can help too

oops. i meant to say don't let those moments get the best of you!

NC is extremely hard....but so important. I think you did the right thing, he has to know he can't have you as a backup - you deserve to be treated fairly. For me, NC has been at times very difficult. but other times I have been okay. It's been about a month. I think you will have your moments, but don't the them get the best of you, stay strong!

Miti, I know how you feel...went thru the same thing, I wish I had done NC right when we first broke up, it would have saved me going through so much more pain...a month ago he told me there was someone else....and all this time, I thought we were going to make it through this....It really hurts, but you have a chance now to stop this and do NC. You derserve better. This is not something that guys just do either, I think everyone is different, so sure there are probably guys out there that don't give a damn, but there are also guys out there that are genuine. Same goes for the ladies. Please don't judge men based on this experience. Take each person for who they are indivudually.

a really fun song that eveyone should listen to at least once (it helps if your very depressed..) Bongo Bong by Manu Chao it just makes you smile and for some reason i recently have been into the All American Rejects - i actually bought the new cd, song #3 I love...think it's called Moving On (that's the chorus anyway), but I love it! and I love Keith Urban...or Alison Krauss....country music is just so different, even sad songs have a great tune

no problem keenan, it really does help

well at nighttime I feel better because that's one more day I made it through...plus I have been taking Tylenol PM....i try not to, but the nights I don't - well, i don't sleep at all. I know I need to just get out of bed in the morning and go do something, and i have been trying to keep busy -hanging out with friends and family...but then i kind of feel like i'm just putting it aside and that feeling is still there, waiting for me - it keeps building up...aarrrgghhh.... and when i do let myself cry, i feel better, but it just keeps happening! i know it takes time, but until then - it really just sucks.

hey shamus - when I have the urge to contact my ex...and it's quite frequently...since I have 2 email accounts I will write to him and send it to my other one....that way when i do send it I feel better, and then later when i check my other one that i sent it to - i can read it....and be thankful that i didn't send it - no matter what it was about - stick with NC. it hurts, but for me, i think it would hurt more to talk to him - it just wouldn't be the same, i know he has someone else now, so i am trying desperately to move on. one day at a time.

Shau nee - My situation seems like the same thing...my ex and i were together for a while, broke up, but still were close - still had feelings for each other....he moved away for a job - we did the long distance....and then one day he tells me he wants to pursue someone else... I would do NC - don't let this drag out like I did, it hurts like hell. plus, the fact that he was in contact with her thru letters and emails and phone calls for a couple months before he told me (he told me a week after she signed her divorce papers) he drove to see me and tell me. but he still wanted to be friends. i'm not saying this will happen to you, but be careful, you're heart is precious, take care of it! NC will help you no matter what happens in this relationship - I WISH I had thought of that way back then, but i was very foolish. hope this helped a little bit! listen to your gut...follow that - even before your heart. That never fails.

yes, i have had that thrown at me before....after 8 1/2 mos....but we continued to be close (also known as friends w/ benefits) and we weren't see anyone else...this dragged out and after another 1 1/2 he told me he was pursuing someone else - aarrrggghhh....all that time he kept me hanging...always said and did things that did nothing but lead me on....and i'm so frustrated, at myself, for letting this happen! but I know he loved me and he didn't mean to hurt me, you can't change the way you feel. anyway, no, we are not together - to answer your question. Personally, I think that other person who says that may just be a little scared - I mean, in my situation, i think we got past that honeymoon stage and we really comfortable with each other, it grew into a companionship kind of love - so when this other woman came into his life (again - they were old friends) he got that "spark" maybe and just decided it was over between us, although he wants to just be friends - no thank you!

yes, age and experience are very significant when it comes to relationships. my ex is 29, so he was looking for that person to be with in the long run - and we did have that, or so i thought! - but I know what you mean...actions speak louder than words (lol. I'm still trying to figure out my situation b/c of that saying!!) but I definitely agree that you have to follow your gut, that inner voice...so crucial!!! Take care!