ElektraHere

One question for you why did you marry him if you felt this way?

It will work as a barrier against the air and give some slight relief

Go and get Puffs Plus tissue with lotion they are great when having to blow your nose a million times. As for the red and raw feeling Neosporine works well. It has the consistency of Vaseline but is used for wounds and such. Take an ibuprofen for the pain and then go lay down. Hope you feel better,

Your young and you will have many friends come in and out of your life. Some will be toxic and others will be there for the long run. It is great that you are recognizing this now at such a young age. I would say if she doesnt make you feel good or doesn't seem considerate towards you then it's time to move on from that friendship.

Have you had boyfriends break up with you before? I am asking because maybe the lashing out is testing him? You know seeing how much he will take from you before he finally has had enough. It is a screwed up way of treating a relationship but sometimes when you don't feel so good about yourself and have had bad experiences in past relationship this happens. It also could be a chemical thing too? For me it took about 5 different type pills until I found the right one.

Hey that is wonderful. Yes Vegas is a great place to go. I think getting away from "home" and rediscovering each other outside your element put a spark back into the relationship. Congrats and good luck alot of people would have called it quits and you stuck with it Good Luck,

I think you will be fine. It's alot better then forgetting to take your pill. Just take the next pill on the day it says so if your pill is for Tuesday then take it on Tuesday. Also make sure you stay consistent with the time of day you take it.

Hi Anxietygirl, The feeling like you have to tell everyone everything is because you don't have the proper boundaries set. Read up a little on co-dependency that is one of the traits. Also always looking to others for approval because you feel guilty about something. As for the anxiety I too suffer from that from time to time. It was really bad this last 6 months. The Dr recommended Passion Flower drops. I must say I was skeptical but they truly do work. There is some sort of compound that calms your nerves and mind down. You can find them at naturapathic stores and I think GNC has them too. I take them when I feel very anxious about something and within 5-10 minutes I feel back at level again. Something to look into. Good Luck

Hello Kitty Kitty, Don't you see that this is the first step When you can get mad about something it sort of kicks start everything else into gear. I feel for you I really do, I have been dealing with some pretty crappy stuff as of late and it took 2 people on this site to actually piss me off. That kick in the butt set the gears into motion and I realized what I was doing was not productive. I wasn't mad at "Robert" I was mad at the way I was dealing with the whole situation and how I was dealing with my life. I do believe things happen for reasons its when we have fully dealt with it we say "Ahhh thats why it happened!" You know I am gonna quote Oprah she says "God speaks to us in whispers, we can choose to hear it or not." You can call it God, intuition, whatever but I think we choose not to either listen or deal with the issues and that is when all the "crap" hits the fan. Good Luck and keep the gears going you are the road my friend your on the road

In order to get the friendships and social life you want you have to go out and get it. It will not come knocking on your door. It is hard making friends especially if you are shy, intimidated, or have a low self esteem. I tend to be on the shy side (my friends disagree with this statement) but really it's hard to try something new or to talk to others. I don't have alot of friends but the handful I do have I have had some as long as 28 years. Here are some questions for you to try and answer about yourself.... Do you put off an air of "Do NOT approach me?" No one wants to approach someone who has that air about them. When someone does talk to you do you give yes or no answers and not really expand on your answers? People tend to lose interest in someone who doesnt say more then yes or know. Do you look others in the eye? Looking someone in the eye is a sign of confidence. Try joining a club (sports, hobby, activity) or maybe a gym? Go to local music concerts. Get out there and live and meet those people you want in your life. A good friend only brings out the best in you. Good Luck,

god, he is such a pain in the ***. everytime i call him he seems annoyed or not that pleased to hear from me. he sounds so insincere when he wants to do something...it's always something cheap like coffee. there is never any commitment when i ask him if he wants to do something on a certain date or a certain time. im so sick of being jerked around. he knows i havent been treated well by men and im sure he knows he doesnt treat me right though he feigns ignorance. im sick of his games and his keeping me on a leash for when he wants me. i think there is some manipulation or something, i dont know. is it all in my head? and then when he hangs up the phone...click. I hope you read and re-read the above paragraph and REALLY know this guy is a louse! He is the end all of LOUSY guys. You are a convienence to him and no woman should EVER allow herself to be a convienence!!! PERIOD im so tired. im tired of him. im not happy. i dont feel well. i need my mind back. im taking my mind back. im taking my heart back. im taking my life back. im taking my way back. im taking my strength and focus and concentration back. i think i've finally had enough. im going to listen to the little voice inside of me. im going to use the brains i have. im going to stop repeating old mistakes. im going to stop expecting things to fix itself. im going to stop calling him period. i feel better, happier, free without him. i can actually think and focus on me. You see what he is putting your body and mind through?? Is this guy really worth all this trouble? I hope that you really take to heart what you wrote up above that you do take your life, heart, and strength back. As they said in the 60's "I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!!"

Teacup, Like I have said in my other posts to you I sympathize with your struggle. I too have the same issues at times. The one thing I am coming to realize is that one needs to be proactive in their life. I have sat on the sidelines so long and worrying about others I have forgotten who I was. I suggest like Scout says and go in first thing Monday AM to see if you can talk to someone ASAP. Also don't let your family say that you are just a whiner, you could have a depression and with the proper therapy and even medication you can help alleviate some of that. Also by reading the others who know your story well I get the sense that this guy you think is the Savior of all your problems is a major one in itself. I too had a guy that I thought was the end all of guys. Yes he was the end all of the lousy guys. He broke me financially, emotionally, and physically. It has been a long hard road back from this and I still am not fully recovered from it and it has been 5 years. If you need a little pick me up go out and buy "Illusions, the adventures of a reluctant messiah" by Richard Bach. Its a short book and about $7.00. It isnt a religious book it is an enlightening book and makes you think "hmm maybe life isnt that bad." I read it years ago and went out and bought it today. Hang in there Teacup it will get better I promise you that. The only way it will is if you allow it to. Good Luck

I agree with Annie and S2S that if this guy is too busy to at least say "hey" then just move on. I would say that if it was the 2nd date maybe he just isnt interested and instead of returning your calls or answering your text to tell you this avoidance is his MO. Good Luck

It sounds she needs more help than what you can and are willing to offer. Are there any rehab centers in your area? It sounds she needs to get some professional help immediatley. The first thing you need to do is stop being her go to guy you are just saying by your actions that you are the one to call upon. This is a hard one because she is so bad off that you wouldnt want to say the wrong thing. Call up your local hospital and ask to speak to someone in the psych department or call a crisis line and ask them how you should handle letting her down. Good Luck

Hey Magic, You say you really like this girl and dont "want to screw it up." Well I think with the worry of this made Mr Happy a bit limp. I wouldn't worry too much about it or about wanting things to go smoothly in this relationship. Remember no expectations and then there is no room for worry. These things happen and a message to you and all men out there I can't speak for all women but the ones I have talked to about this it doesn't change our mind about you or if you are a sexual tiger in bed. It happens and you can't control your body all the time. If the guy is someone we care about then we understand this happens from time to time.

The reaction should tell you everything. I am sure she was embarrassed the laughing seemed to distract from the moment. I don't think she was interested in that moment but who knows down the line? Ask another gal or go stag with some friends of yours. I know when i was in HS many many moons ago there were some guys that did that and I think they had more fun then the rest. Whatever you decide don't take this as an end all go and have fun with HS these are the moments that prepare us for whats to come in the future. Good Luck

Hello All, Ok the other day I posted a post and 2 members sort of kicked my butt about how I had been posting about the same thing over and over and to just "buck up." Well I was pissed and hurt about what they had said I had the post removed. Well I think the being pissed help jump start something in me or it could be because where I live we have had gorgeous weather for the past week. Today is another beautiful day the mountains are out and it looks almost fake. I digress I wanted to say my mood has seemed to have spiked up a bit. I have been moving on with what I need to get done. I have been partaking in my gym membership that i have been ignoring for so long, setting up activities with friends, classmates, and even looking into what avenues are available to me for purchasing my first home. It is a bit strange to be only focusing on me. I still think of my friend who I will call "Robert" and the regrets I have of telling him my feelings but like Robert, family, and therapist have told me I cannot change the past. I am a living in the past sort of gal never really living in the moment and so life sort of passes me by. I also think my mood has improved because I was able to talk to Robert. I was able to thank him personally for my Xmas gifts and how much they meant to me. I was able to hear that we can continue our friendship once my feelings have been put to rest. I was able to hear Robert say that he cares for me and that he will call me soon. I just have to trust that he will do that. Which is something I know he will. I know I will still have bad days that is a given. However, I shall think of only what is happening right now. It is difficult but needs to be done the other way wasn't working for me. So I guess I want to thank the two female members (you know who you are) who got me pissed enough to start doing something about myself. Thanks

I too struggle if their really is a higher power. When I feel down and low I pray it just seems a natural thing to do. Sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't. A girlfriend of mine gave me "A Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. There are some great things in that book. I would suggest looking into that or another inspirational book I read long ago when I was down was "Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach. Now that book really inspired me. Maybe I should go buy it today I don't think worrying if others are getting anything of religon will help you. Just focus on your faith. As for the depression talk to your pastor or someone you highly trust to talk about your feelings. Also you could look into medication not all people like that route but sometimes it acts as a buffer while you deal with the depression. Good Luck

It depends on what he is like? Is he in this with no expectations and taking it slow? If so I would suggest you just stick with getting the puppy something. If it's not like that I still wouldnt really go all out but if you feel you must perhaps a funny card with no romantic connotations to it and maybe to be funny tie a Hershey Bar (safer than a heart shaped box of choclates) to the envelope. I would think he might laugh at that and think it was a nice gesture.

Teacup I can sympathize with how you feel. I too constantly think of all the things I wish I could change about my past. Unfortunately we cannot go back in time to undo what has already happened. I too am seeing a therapist and what I did is research them out. Sometimes you can go to different associations if you google their name you may find something about them. You may want to try that or at your appt tell them exactly what it is you would like to work on and ask them how they participate in the therapy. I found that my therapist takes an active role in giving me feedback or asking me why it is I feel like I do. It's funny we talked about what you are talking about today. Trying to fix the past. I have MANY regrets of the choices I have made. One is I dropped out of HighSchool my senior year. I regret that so much and that I didnt have a graduation. I am enrolled in college now so I will graduate and i will get the cap and gown ceremony. I have made many bad choices with men. Trying to fulfill a void in my life with a man, that doesnt work either. There will be good days and there will be the bad days too probably more of the latter at first. Just know that you are on the road of recovery and that is a postive. Good Luck

Darketernal I think what you are saying is awful. If you really are there friend and care for them despite what they are doing you never hope someone falls flat on their face. Also to tell someone "I told you so," is rude and doesn't help the other person who is supposed to be your friend. I would hope you never have a friend that would treat you like that or that you would treat your friends the same way.

Hey Rn2aR I have been on both sides of that coin. I have been the draining friend and I was in a really bad relationship that caused me to spiral downhill fast. Everyone told me he was a creep, a liar, and he was just using me for his own gains. I refused to believe my close friends and my family so what did I do? I shut them all out. WRONG choice. When all was said and done that's who I needed the most. So my advice is don't tell your friend to get rid of him because when someone tells us something like that we always seem to do the opposite. Unfortunately she will have to learn for herself. If you feel that it is draining and that the drugs are something you will not tolerate then tell her that you must put the friendship on hold. When I started shutting out everyone that is when the picture became alot clearer. Good Luck

This song came out sometime ago but I just heard again recently. It is Baz Lurhman (director of Moulin Rouge) reciting this over music. Kind of like a commencement speech. Some of the lines are pretty true. I guess my mood has perked up a bit. I got flowers today. I NEVER get flowers. My girlfriend sent them wishing me a Happy Friend Day. Aren't girlfriends something else? Although for all the calls I have put into her I should be the one sending flowers Enjoy!!! Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97, Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions. Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but that a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.

Hi there, I am sort of on the opposite side of this scenario. Where I really like my friend but he only has feelings for me as a friend. This has been hard coming to terms with. You know trying to find different angles or ways he can look at it. The thing is we are on a "break" for a bit so that I can sort out my feelings for him. We are still friends and always will be. We do have a special connection and once my heart can come to terms with the reality I think it can only make our friendship stronger. I try and look at it as Jerry and Elaine on Seinfeld they were a couple and then were the best of friends. We weren't a couple but nonetheless we will be great friends. I think that if you have told your friend that is all you want to be and he still is giving you the vibe that he wants more...go with your gut because you are probably right. I would say maybe not hang out for awhile and let him get used to the fact that you are just his friend. Good Luck,

If you work for a company that has an EAP program you would call that and they would refer you. I think you get the 1st 5 or 10 sessions paid for by your company and then its a co-pay with your insurance. Also its about trying out different therapists. You want to be comfortable with them and they take an active role in your therapy. You know not just sitting there with a blank look on their face.