ElektraHere
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Everything posted by ElektraHere
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At least you see it for what it is. You crave attention right now. That is normal. Take up a hobby or take a class. That way you get the attention but for your mind or your abilities that always is the best attention anyways. It helps us grow Be Strong it will hurt but remember it wont hurt forever.
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No need to get defensive. I was basically agreeing with you on the abuse issue. As for the Mulit Personality Disorder or Bipolar question thats all it was..... a question. What I wrote was clearly written. Do you even know what they are? If not look them up. People who were sexually abused sometimes have to compatartmentalize their feelings to another"personality" because the abuse was so traumatic to handle. Bipolar is where you swing from high highs to the lowest of lows constantly. Take a look at all your past posts has there been any sort of resolution in your issues or any progress? It seems as though it is the same over and over again. I didnt write your posts you did. If you dont want to hear things then why post here? Do you really listen or ponder to what people offer you on this site?
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And you think stranger boy will give you that intimacy or treat you right? Yes he could be a distraction for you but you cant avoid things, plus you could get attached to him and transfer all what your feeling towards him and be in the same boat your in now. So pretty much its a no win situation with him Sweetie you need to be on your own right now. I hear ya sister on the intimacy part but you have been single for 2 weeks. This is strange to hear but fall in love with yourself and it will definitely open the door to wonderful possibilities.
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Hun it is too soon. Keep having fun with your girlfriends. The meeting the guy while walking home is a bit... well scary. I mean you have no clue about this guy what his background is, if he has a criminal past. You are pretty lucky you got home safely. Who knows what could have happened? You could be the most beautiful woman on the planet and all the men in the world telling you that but if you don't believe you are you will never be happy My opinion dont see this guy, heal up from your last relationship, and hang with your girls!
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Any sort of abuse is deplorable. Its not a contest on which abuse is the worst they all are. As for the "disgusting" men on this site you need to PM the administrator and have him track the PM's. I am sure he has record of every PM you have ever gotten. I am going to ask you something and please dont take offense. Have you ever been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder or bipolar?
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Martha, If you need to work hard to let it be "natural" then is it really worth it? Come on sister be the whole woman you are meant to be in this world. Nothing is perfect and if you try to make it that you will be in constant dismay. Question for you to ponder.......What is the worst that could happen if you get to focusing on you as much as you seem to put into your relationship? Would it be so horrible to make you a whole and complete person who doesnt need a man to make her happy?
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This song is off the new Madonna cd "Confessions on a Dance Floor." When I listen to it I think of it as my own personal "Rocky" song. Perhaps it can become yours too! JUMP There's only so much you can learn in one place The more that I wait, the more time that I waste I haven't got much time to waste, it's time to make my way I'm not afraid of what I'll face, but I'm afraid to stay I'm going down my own road and I can make it alone I'll work and I'll fight til I find a place of my own Chorus Are you ready to jump Get ready to jump Don't ever look back, oh baby Yes, I'm ready to jump Just take my hands Get ready to jump We learned our lesson from the start, my sisters and me The only thing you can depend on is your family And life's gonna drop you down like the limbs of a tree It sways and it swings and it bends until it makes you see Chorus2 Are you ready to jump Get ready to jump Don't ever look back, oh baby Yes, I'm ready to jump Just take my hands Get ready to, are you ready Spoken There's only so much you can learn in one place The more that you wait, the more time that you waste I'll work and I'll fight til I find a place of my own It sways and it swings and it bends until you make it your own I can make it alone I can make it alone I can make it alone [my sisters and me] I can make it alone [my sisters and me]
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The thing is if this is a pattern for her. I mean really would you want to be with someone who was disrespectful to you all the time? Dont think so. I know I wouldnt. If this is a one time deal then I would think about what it is you like about being with her and things that can be worked on.
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Boricua, I am so sorry you feel this way. I too have my days in the dark and I have contemplated just ending it all. I am 33 so I havent been successful or too serious in doing that. We all want to give up at some point in our life when things aren't going the way we want them to. I am dealing with that at this very moment. I have a friendship with someone very dear to me that I need to back away from until he is ready to come back. Last year I lost the only person that I could truly count on and trust and who loved me unconditionally which was my Nana. Lets just say last year was not a good year. What I am getting at in a round about way is that life throws us curve balls and it how we choose to catch them is up to us. I know I let a few hit me at times and then there were times I caught em and threw them back. Your life is IMPORTANT and needed in this world. You may not think so or think others think so but you are. We all are looking for the LOVE that is like fireworks going off in the sky. I am coming to realize in order for that to happen it starts with me first. Love myself??? How can I do that when I dont really like myself at times. One little step at a time and that sets everything in motion and it gets easier and easier as time goes by. Someone told me "dont look for someone to complete your life look for someone to complement your life." I agree with Bill perhaps therapy and meds (for just the time being) will help with the beginning stages. Good Luck and dont give up you are a special person and you deserve much happiness.
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So everything was ok until you stepped up for yourself and said enough is enough. Good for you. Why would you feel regret? You were tired of being disrespected and she wanted to hang out with another guy than with you whom she had plans with. I am sorry when people say that true love scares them what is there to be scared of? Especially if the other person is on the same page??? Makes no sense to me. You're young and will bounce back you may end up going back to her or you may stick to your guns and really look out for you? Only you know the answer to that. Good Luck and yes vent away that is what this forum is for
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S2S Too bad 90210 isnt still on That was my show too. I would rather watch Brandon and Dylan duke it out of Kelly then dealing with my crappy soap opera ;-) It is a process that I know I just wish it werent so painful.
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Miracle I have NEVER been sexually abused. I was mentioning Oprah as sort of someone who didnt come from anything had the abuse happen to her and then where she is now. Yes she has gobs of $$$ but there is help out there for everyone. It is a matter of really taking control and getting that help. I was emotionally abused by my father and by an ex boyfriend. Those scars stick with you for a looooong time as probably the sexual abuse scars. I just cant keep thinking that I am the person they would tell me I was. If I did I would probably be dead right now or dealing with a very bad drug problem and neither are the case. So sometimes tough love needs to happen its sort of a slap in the face for the person. You are right in saying that TeaCup is letting her abuser win and still have the control. TEACUP TAKE THE CONTROL BACK SISTER!!! DONT LET THIS PERSON STEAL ANYMORE OF YOU!!!!
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I have posted on here and I have given advice. I realized some of the advice I was giving I should be following. For example I told someone to not be so dependent on their guy and want there every minute spent with them, I have told people to "buck up" and start to deal with their problem instead of wallowing in it. I have also shared my past experiences with those that are having the same things happening to them now. I have been posting quite a few posts lately on the same subject...a friend who I had feelings for and now dealing with the pulling away. I have been working on the fact that we are never going to be a couple. I get that, however I want the friendship we had before. He is refusing to let it go back to that. He is very selective when it comes to answering my emails, and he doesnt answer my calls anymore. If i were to see this post I would tell the person "when is enough enough?" I should value myself as much as I value this person and our relationship. A friendship shouldnt be this complicated and with so many rules and conditions. Friendship should be about give and take and an equal balance. I have been tipping that scale way out of balance. I have been giving giving giving but he hasnt been taking? I have given my time and emotions. I cant keep on this rollercoaster. I told him I would never say goodbye because i cant seem to stick to that. I miss what we had and miss him but he doesnt miss me all that much so why should I keep this up? I continue to beat myself up over this and its getting to the point i dont know where to hit anymore I feel battered and defeated and is that how anyone should feel? ](*,) A note to the guys out there it isnt so bad when someone expresses their feeling towards you. it does become a problem when they expect to change your mind but not if they are dealing with it and want to move on. Dont change the friendship so drastically because not only did this person express their heart to you but then you change and that my friends is what really hurts the person in the end.
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TeaCup - I have read over your posts and they are almost verbatim the same thing. It's like you need the attention for that moment and its like you copy and paste a post. I have never been sexually abused so I dont know that element however i was in a mentally abusive relationship and had a mentaly abusive father both that wrecked me. I still am recovering from that. You seem to seek some sort of validation in your life and you are not getting it from the people around you so you come on these boards to get that. It is going to have to start with you first then it will trickle down to other parts. You are the ultimate person who can control this and you alone. No amount of posts and repsonses will fix this for you. I dont want to sound callous or mean but there comes a point when you have to "Buck up!" If you need an example of a woman who moved ahead and beat it look at Oprah. She took what happened to her worked through it and is now actively trying to stop these men and get them back in jail. You have to quit posting the same thing and actually do something about it. Good Luck,
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Have sick feeling after what I call being stood up
ElektraHere replied to coollady1957's topic in Dating Advice
GOOD FOR YOU COOLLADY!!! I wish I could be that way with my friend Robert.You know a "dude I dont have time for these silly games." It is just so hard. Especially when things ended so abruptly. Enjoy your day and its ok to feel a bit smug its all about Karma and his ened up runing HIS plans for today -
The problem is with Robert he wont allow me to talk with him. He is very choosy when he replies to my emails if he even decides to reply and when I call him he doesnt answer the phone. I always go right through to voicemail. I could be IMing and ask to just call him so I can stop typing and he says "its a slim to none chance he would answer." I am not sure if he finds anything wrong with the way he acts at least towards me? I know I have apologized many times for things I have reacted badly for. I guess you cant ask someone to be sorry about something they need to truly feel it.
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Have sick feeling after what I call being stood up
ElektraHere replied to coollady1957's topic in Dating Advice
Ahh Cool his loss right? He missed out on a great night of catching up with a kindred spirit, and some yummy pizza. -
Have sick feeling after what I call being stood up
ElektraHere replied to coollady1957's topic in Dating Advice
Coollady, I agree with Echo I would be steaming. I mean if he had these plans in place he should have rescheduled with you about 3 days ago. Instead he waits until the last possible minute. That was RUDE RUDE RUDE. I hope it rains tomorrow for him and I hope you dont answer if he calls. He lost out on his one time chance! If I were you I would take myself to the movies for a matinee tomorrow. Perhaps a comedy? Pizza sounds yummy I know I would have been there for sure!!!!! -
Thanks ladies. What you said has made me feel a little bit better. I do have some very good friends that I have had for 15+ years. I really want my friend Robert in my life and I just would like him to want me in his life just the same. Coollady sorry about your feelings. It is no fun having hurt feelings. This evening is almost over and then morning will be here. I hope you feel better too.
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What is the purpose anymore? I am so sick of feeling like emotional crap! I went to see my therapist and even the suggestions she offered me to work on for the week I already blew. I dont know if I will get my head on straight. I continue to hurt my self over and over again. Not physically but emoitonally. I can't say goodbye to my friend Robert. I have tried 3 times and I just cant. I just have to realize if I want a friendship with him I cant give so much. He does not give alot at least lately. We were just IMing and he stopped talking and I asked him if he was on the phone or smoking or making something to eat. Throughout the 1/2 he told me to hold on. I just wanted to know if I should just wish him a good night. Then I asked him again and he abruptly said good bye talk to you later and logged off the IM. Thats it nothing more. My feelings are really hurt. AM i the only one who would find that rude? SO now i sit here wondering if I pissed him off and Im crying and I am upset with failing myself yet again. My therapist said to work on me not contacting him for a week and see if he would contact me. Well so much for that. I failed again and again and again. What a great Friday night.
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Teacup if you cant even trust yourself then you just answered your question. You are not ready for a relationship. You need to come to terms with the past and then once you have done that you will attract at look at different type men.
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well I have never cheated on my boyfriends so I am not in that category! He came on this site for validation of his cheating. Now do you really think he would get much positive feedback here....NO!
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Sorry Mac I agree with the others. This is plain out infatuation and the 19 y.o. she will get bored and move on. I think that what you are doing is appauling and that you are totally disrespecting your girlfriend. You have a pattern of being with someone and then moving on with someone else before you end it with the person you are currently with. All I can say is all the CHOICES you are making at this moment are going to come crashing right back into. Sorry you get no sympathy from me what would you expect people on the boards to say to this? That they would actually agree with your actions and choices? I think you will be hard pressed for that.
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Hi There, I am sorry you are feeling the way you are. It is hard to move on but it is a must in order to gain the control of you back. Your husband is a player not only with you but with these other "friends" he has. How many times can you go through the push pull, push pull game? Do you feel you deserve to be treated this way? You may love him and care for him deeply but hun he is NOT doing things that would show he feels the same way. He left you on Xmas day then when it was convienent for him to come back he just simply calls you up and he knows he can ALWAYS come back. Stop this guy in his tracks. You were not placed on this earth to be someones doormat. Be strong and yes it will be hard and it will be painful but the end result will make you a stronger woman for it Good Luck,
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Antideprressants or just time?
ElektraHere replied to butterflycloud's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
If you have lost the desire to do things you once enjoyed then yes I would talk to a professional to see what they recommend. I think some people take it thinking it will be the cure all. Like miserableme said it numbs it a bit but it is always there you have to work through it all. You might want to consider therapy perhaps talking it out might release some of the sadness. It will get better it just will take some time. Good Luck