ElektraHere

Sorry I agree with NJRON. 3 weeks still is pretty fresh and you may think you can do it but you may get there and BAM you are right back to minute 1. Ask a girlfriend to go to the movies or go rent one. Your friend WILL understand if they truly are a good friend and looking only for the best for you.

I have been told that also. I wonder why people dont approach me. All my friends say I have this presense that gets peoples attention. I laughed I was thinking well if I get peoples attention I am blind blind blind! Then they said I get the attention but then I looked like I am having a bad day. I have practiced looking in the mirror and softening my expressions and learning what they feel like. Try that it might help.

Not sure if she will come back but you know what? Accepting is half the battle. As Frisco suggested use this forum instead of contacting her. DO NOT SEND ANYMORE TEXTS. It's hard......I know that for a fact. The phone is like crack for me. I have to really show some restraint to not use it. 2 days phone sober

I've been lurking here for a few months but haven't posted my situation because I'm lazy. All I have to say is...oh my, the heart-ache stings like nothing else. Welcome to you. This is a great site and you may not find all the answers but sometimes it directs you to the right ones for you. We probably needed to break up...I was sexually bored(almost to the point of dreading sex with her) and she was consumed by her new profesional carear for the past year or two. If you were bored sexually and feel you needed to break up why are you so heartbroken? Do you feel you lived your life through your ex? I'm an idealist though, and figured love was all important, and no matter what, love would see us through these times...WRONG!! Love can be the greatest thing but sometimes it just isnt enough. It sucks but it is the truth. If love were enough I think sites like this wouldnt exist. It all started when she was in an auto accident(she was not injured), and started seeing a therapist due to emotional tramua. apparently somehow the therapist convinced her that she shouldn't be in a relationship because she is just using others to fill up areas in her life to she should be filling herself(which is valid to a point). . I am sorry that your ex was in a car accident but a therapist cannot convince anyone to do this or that. They are there to listen and observe and to question why you think that way and help keep you on track to self discovery. You say that the therapist brings up a valid point of your ex filling up voids within herself with others. Perhaps thats what happened with you two and then you both got comfortable with each other. Didnt really have that spark or passion any longer but stayed for the comfort factor? Good Luck and welcome to Enot I hope that you can find a little peace of mind while here

Hey Dako ~ So are you happier alone with you just to deal with or are you ehh just alright with being alone?

SO Shy if you don't believe in dating what does that mean? Have you ever had a relationship? Do you know what it's like to be in one and then not and being "alone" nursing a broken heart? Dako ~ I have been unhappily single but to be honest I think I was unhappily together too. I tend to look at what Scout said I was and still am looking for what I want and not what I need. Scout you're a smart cookie! I never realized that. Hmmm lightbulb moment.

I took the advice of not listening to the sad heart wrenching songs. I am listening to my rap music because that I don't associate with anyone. I have no emotional baggage with the genre. Frisco what kind of music do you spin?

Fricso, Gosh I hope so. Like you all said once you hit rock bottom all you can do is make your way up My way up are baby steps but nonetheless they are steps.

I think my heart is cursed, I try and joke about that I must have been a heartbreaker in a former life and now I am paying up BIG TIME! So NJRON I don't think you would want any of it

Thanks for responding everyone I just was having one of those low moments. I don't think the song was helping any. I tend to do that listen to the most haunting emotional song. I am not sure if its torture or if its cathartic. I don't feel as low as last night although I woke up with swollen eyes. I know I should just move on and look ahead but it is so hard not to be called back by the "happier" voices of the past. To look back at all the happier times its almost dreamlike, but isnt that what is?? A dream of what was. If we are meant to be in each others lives we will. I did give him one of the best broken pieces of my heart carefully wrapped in hope, love, and appreciation. He will always have that piece of my heart even though he didnt want to accept it. Thanks again and I really am trying to move forward. I promise.

I sit here crying and just feeling lost and alone. I am listening to the most beautiful heart wrenching song. You know how when you hear a song and it connects with your heart right away. This song has connected with me on so many levels. It's called "Songbird" originally done by Fleetwood Mac but redone by Eva Cassidy. It is haunting the way she sings the song. This may just be ramblings so I apologize now. I am thinking of all the things I have lost. I feel my heart has been so broken it will never be completely whole again. I have tried to fake it along but it's too hard to do it anymore. I just want to sleep. Go and sleep forever and not have to deal with all this pain and heartbreak. I just bought a new car and you would think I would be excited about it but I'm not. I sat here all night long thinking of him and wishing so hard he would call or email or something. He didn't, he won't, and that is what hurts the most. Why is it that we meet people only to have them leave? They always leave. The last conversation I had with him we didn't leave on good terms and my heart just hurts over it. It hurts that hes gone and there isn't anything I can do for him to come back. There are so many bad things I did in the past and I think I am reaping all the bad karma now. The things I want most in my life I have pushed out. I know I tout NC like everyone on this site but I don't care who you are it is so HARD and hurts like hell. I am not even good at NC at 100%. I sent 2 songs today one was the one I mentioned up above. I didn't hear anything back. I sent him an email about a week ago asking what it was he wanted? Was our friendship worth keeping? I put the ball back in his court and he walked away with it. I am devastated it all turned out this way. I guess I invested way too much of myself and I went bankrupt. Did I not deserve his friendship? I gave him the best part of the broken off pieces of my heart and I don't even know if he wanted it. I've begged God, I've prayed, I've asked my Nana who has passed to help take this pain away. Its still here and it seems to be manifesting itself. I just want to know I mattered to him and his life. That he does in fact miss me. I don't want to talk to my friends or family about this anymore because I feel they are at a loss with this. They have done what they can. I am sure there are people on this site who are sick of my posts too. I just can't seem to let go. I am so afraid to let go.

X why are you getting so upset? You were asking for advice and based on the limited info you have given us Rae and Carn Butterfly only had that to go on. Look at all your posts in this thread everyone has some sort of drug reference or that you have done that. It is great that you are out of the meth scene because I have seen only bad things with that. I did meth gosh it has to be 10 years now and it is HIGHLY addictive and made oout of the most toxic chemicals. I had a friend who was beautiful, had her children, a job. She got into it and stayed and I ran into her this past summer and she looked HORRIBLE. Hair, skin, teeth just a wreck. So I commend you on leaving that situation. Question: What does your social circle look like? RW - I know that alcohol makes me a bit frisky. Pot on the other hand hmmm? Would make me fall asleep.

Girl you gotta lay off the drugs. What is the need? Enjoy life naturally

Doesnt it have the same affects as meth? Where it basically eats the brain which casues the brain clouds or worse.

Maybe your just not ready to take that on right now sex that is. I have never heard of the E & sex thing never being the same. E is not good for a person. I dont know what the facination with it is? I took it about 7 years ago and it just wasnt for me. I would rather feel everything naturally then on some sort of chemical. Stop the E that might be the first thing to do.

First thing I would do is find out how he knows where you are going and how he ends up there too. Thats a bit scary. Next if you really dont want him to have any communication with you there is always the restraining order route to go. If he is saying to you things will change between you and him I don't think that will last. (the change in him) Unless he had some serious counseling while out to sea I doubt he is a changed man. If I were in your shoes and felt uncomfortable about everything I would seek a restraining order and change my #'s. I would also figure out who is telling him my whereabouts. Hope this helps? Good Luck!

well I am not here to argue over a 14 y.o. cyber wondererer. I just had my opinion on it and I wasnt tryng to make a joke of it. I was thinking of what I mentioned previously about kids who cyber and think they are talking with others their age and it turns out to be a predator. I am looking at it on the safety side.

I dont think we were making a running joke about it. I think we all thought about the proper way to respond. Even Yin answered the question but very tactfully. Also you mention about teens being bombarded with messages about sex well who knows he could be cyber sexing some sick person he thinks is another teen. Shy sometimes I think you are not as experienced or have had the life experiences with some of the advice you give.

yes I know but come on now. Well besides you and Shy everyone else seemed to be on the same page about it. At least you werent graphic about it or explained instead of saying this say that. Yours had a little bit more restraint and responsibility to it.

Check out there are some great food reviews and what to choose instead of the high calorie high fat products.

What has this thread turned out to be the Ren& Metro dating game?

SHY if you havent gotten it by now look at all the previous posts. It seems all the posters are in some sort of agreeance that if someone needs to ask about it then they are way too young to understand it. ANthd you come and post that!!! Come on use some common sense!

I hope that isnt the case but here is some of the things to look for of a cheating mate. Hopefully its just the stress of the wedding I would to hate to think that cheating is the case. A sudden change in manner of dress and grooming. Secretiveness. Unexplained absenses. Unfamiliar charges on credit card or phone bills. Hang-ups on your home phone. More business trips. Stops confiding in you or asking your advice. Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you. Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you (They either knew about the cheating or have been told stories about how horrible you are). Refuses to let you take him to the airport. Carries condoms even though you are on the pill. Deletes incoming phone numbers from caller ID. Leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns smelling like Speedstick. Becomes accusatory, asking if you are being true to him. Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?" Buys new underwear. Keeps child seat, toys, etc., out of his car. Stops wearing his wedding ring. Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. Suddenly wants to try new love techniques. Has scratches or bruises on his neck or back. Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry. Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house. Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music. Has a sudden preoccupation with his appearance. Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed. Works long hours on weekends, but is never at his desk to answer the phone. Has lots of "emergency errands." Having to ask the question in the first place. Listen to your gut.

Hey Metro now you cool YOUR jets!!!

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