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About Me

  1. So back in the middle of October I took a trip with my Boyfriend. I ended up wetting the bed, I was also bloated, stomach cramping and gaining weight fast. I saw the Urologist when I got back who blew me off. So I got a second opinion. The second urologist did imaging and saw I had a large mass in my bladder. She just went off the Ct Scan, she didn’t order any further imaging. I had a Cystoscope in November and she saw my bladder looks really good and healthy took a sample to biopsy. The only odd thing was she told me I had a large protrusion inside the bladder. But she said to follow up with obgyn. In January I end up in ER with horrible stomach cramping feeling like I’m dying. They order another CT scan which I’m not happy about. This one shows the mass more on the pelvic side then bladder side. I see her again, she says I must have tissue from the bladder protruding into the pelvic region and orders a ct guided biopsy. I go see my Gynecologist and he says not to do the biopsy. He sends me too Urogynecologist. I just saw her today and now I’m even more confused. She is sending me to an Oncologist Gynecologist who I got in STAT to see next Thursday. She’s top in her field and books always off in advance so to get in this quick is rare. The Urogynecologist went over all my procedure notes from what the Urologist did and found then through the Ct imaging. She told me I need to have different kinds of imaging. What’s being seen is this weird annexal structure with moderate amounts of blood flow that is in the right pelvic area. She told me it must have confused the urologist thinking it was in the bladder. Because it’s large and the ct scan was unclear. She told me it’s a right ovarian mass that’s probably been there since the Urologist went looking in the wrong area. So basically I’ve had this thing since the Cystoscope back in November and even farther back. It’s just unfortunately the Urologist accidentally over looked it. So my head is spinning because this confused me even more. She said that’s why the Oncologist Gynecologist will order an ultrasound and MRI to get better imaging on this thing. Unfortunately it’s not something she does in her field. I feel like an alien, what the heck is this thing on my Right Ovary that’s confusing every doctor? I’m bloated, I have back pain, it feels like I have endometriosis back. I asked, it’s not Endometriosis. I guess it doesn’t fit the look on the ct images for it to be endometriosis. I’m still leaking to where I’ve worn depends since October. I’m getting frustrated! I’m having a hard time losing weight because I’m so bloated. So I’ve just maintained. I’m on WW. Each different doctor has a different theory of what their looking at. They all do however agree on one thing, and it scares me! They think this may be a malignant growth of some sort based on its characteristics. Also the fact Ovarian and Breast Cancer run rapid in my family history. I’m 38, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink nor do I do drugs. I’m healthy in that regard. I had a hysterectomy five years ago due to endometriosis. The doctor took out everything but my right ovary for estrogen purposes. Lucky me! 😂 I see the oncologist gynecologist and I hope she has a better idea of the next steps forward. Sorry I wrote a novel. It’s been hard going through the run around. I needed to vent.
  2. My partner (we are a lesbian couple) is 5'7" and 170lbs, used to be an athletic US Marine. She is very self-conscious about her weight gain the past couple years. I tell her I do not care what the scale says, and I am being genuine. I love her just the way she is and just want her to be happy. She frequently talks about wanting to go on a diet and exercise plan, but implies in order for her to go through with it, I have to do it with her. Issue is, I am 5'3" and 108 lbs and don't have much weight to lose. My metabolism is just higher than hers. I have no issue picking up my exercise game because I have been meaning to do that for awhile anyway, but I feel like it is a little unfair to feel pressured into going on a diet with her that I don't necessarily need/might not be good for an already borderline underweight person. But I also want to be as supportive as possible. What should I do? Am I being selfish?
  3. Hey everyone! I know there is no perfect way to lose weight...and what I have done is just started eating better. I have not counted calories or fat grams...and I WILL NOT lower good carbs (IE whole grain bread). Pretty much my take is, getting lots of fiber and I have completely eliminated fast food and junk. I have been staying away from foods that are processed as well. So far, I have lost 40 pounds. With my body type...I have gone down 4 dress sizes. What I want to do now is start exercising more. I have tried going to the gym...and it is really out of the way for me, and I find it really boring. So after doing some checking around I have found an indoor pool that would be pretty easy to access...and since I picked up another job while in school, the price shouldn't be a problem. I think I can squeeze in 2-3 times a week...for about an hour and a half to two and a half hours at a time. Obviously any exercise is better than none...but will that be enough to lose more weight? I chose swimming because I greatly enjoy it, I find it soothing and relaxing....and find it far more enjoyable than the gym. It is easier on my joints (I have tendonitus in my wrists and elbows), and I get a cardio workout while toning. So...any info anyone? Thanks for your help!
  4. SO i've called and begged, pleaded, whined, threatened (not in a scarey way). I've met up with him a few times (a month later) and lost weight got brown and managed not to get blasted and tearfull and made him laugh. I've even had sex with someone else. Still he is in my thoughts every waking hour of every day and I want him back so bad it makes me feel physically sick. We'd been rowing a bit before we broke up- I,ve got a new job and was stressed. So he calls me up and says he needs to concentrate on his career and be selfish for a while which makes me wanna wring his neck as I really needed his support. Help.
  5. when a girlfriend or wife loses alot of weight, like 210 down to 130, thats a tremendous alot of weight to lose, do most lose attractiveness toward boyfriend or husband? while thinking they can get better now or as more people look at flirt it could get in the way of our relationship???
  6. I have been in a relationship for 6-years & we live together. (I am 30) I have been miserable now for 5 years. I don't feel like the relationship is working. She loves me, but I just don't have those same feelings. I have not touched her (meaning sex, kissing) in 5 years. (She wants to have sex but I dont) I fight with her over insignificant things. I have been fantisizing about other woman (noone inparticular, just ones I make up in my head). I just feel like she is controlling. I have no friends. I used to have friends, but they are all gone. I am living a miserable existence. I tell her I need some gay friends & losing weight, but she gets jealous & mad. Saying that I am going to meet someone else & leave her when I lose weight, etc. If I am on the phone or receive a phone call she "jokes" that I am talking to my gf. I have no life. I can't go anywhere alone without her being with me. We don't go out b/c it is a miserable experience. If I talk to other people at a bar (women) she gets upset & starts fighting with me. When I take a day off from work she does to. Isnt it enough that we ar together 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. I need some free time. I want to see other people. I want to know what it is like to be in love. I can't take it anymore. My self-esteem is so low. I am afraid of leaving her. Afraid that I won't meet anyone else. Afraid that I will be alone. I feel old. I feel ugly. I have put on so much weight b/c I am depressed all of the time. I am not blaming her for these issues. She is a great person. I love her like I would love my sister & that is all. I just dont want to be intimate with her b/c I am unattracted to her. I am afraid to break it off. Thinking that I am making a huge mistake. I am posting here b/c I have noone to talk to about this. No friends. My family doesnt know I am gay.
  7. I dont know if this topic has been discussed before,it probably has,but I havent been here long so forgive me if I'm starting it again I was just wandering around here and reading all these posts about women dieting and wanting to lose weight and being fat,that I just thought about it.I wonder why is it so important to be thin? I know being overweight is unhealthy but being skinny is too. I just hate the fact that society makes standards for how our bodies should be.And why have the standards change so much through the years? A century ago men liked women who were almost overweight.Havent you realized how those fine artists used to paint all these women? My bf told me a while ago: 'Until the 50's,most of the stars on tv were curvy,with nice legs and all,and then in the 60's it started to get all screwed up,peple started liking skinny women' LOL,well,he does not like skinny girls,thats why he said it like that,but then,isnt it true? Marilyn Monroe wasnt really thin,she was curvy if anything,and yet she was beautiful and men loved her! So what do you think about this topic?
  8. hey my name is Stefanie and im onli 13 years old ever since i was lil i hav always been overweight so in the summer of 2003 i decided to lose the weight so i stopped eating aka became anorexic then in september of 2004 i was admited in to the hospital and gained the weight bak then wen i left the hospital i lost the weight again coz i got sick again then i decided to start eating again so then i did and then i gained more weight then i had to so now im at 115 pounds and i dont wanna stop eating again coz living dat way was lyk HELL!!!! so my mom put me in the gym CURVES and ive been goin there for a lil bit but the thing is im not sure if i should diet coz i dont wanna stop eating all the stuff i lyk and people say that i should just eat healthy and excersise and imnot sure if thats gonna work so my plan is to lose 15-20 pounds in 2 months do u think dats possible becuase im used to excersisin everyday for 2 hours so do u think i will lose the weight in 2 months by eating healthy and excersisin????
  9. Hey, im trying to lose about 30 lbs as soon as I can, and i would like to gain muscle in place of that... I need a healthy diet, im 15 years old. What kind of foods should I eat? I don't want to eat anything fatty. I have cut out sweet food comepletely and I'm only drinking water. I'm starting to lift weights every other day, I work out every part of my body and I run every day and play basketball. I would like to lose atleast 20 lbs in 2 months. (lose the fat and gain the muscle)
  10. Yesterday, my best friend told me she was aneroxic.. she found out she was anemic early this year.. and things hve been really hard on her.. i had noticed that it looked like she was losing weight... but about 3 months ago when she went to the dr. they said in 1.1/2 months she had lost 30 lbs.. so i am really worried.. the dr.s then said that she was anemic and she is on medicine for that now.. but she said i am the only one that knows she is aneorexic and she doesn't want me to tell anyone.. i'm so worried and comfused and i need some advice quick! thanks!
  11. ok first of all i put on a few pounds over the summer because i was at my grandma's house and she's a cook'n fool. but i started to get stretch marks on my arms and stomach, they aren't too bad but i wanted to know if the will go away if i lose weight and how much do girls care about them??? o yea i'm also wondering about penis size. not trying to be a perve or anything, but i'm 15 and at 6". is that small for my age?
  12. I use to weigh 54 2 years ago, when i was a gym junkie... Early this year i weighed 67, but managed to lose 7 kgs. I've maintaned my weight of 60 til this month... Now, its increasing... I just weighed myself and I'm now 62! I'm feeling really ugly. I know looks aren't everything... That's what bothers me! WHy do i care so much about my weight? argh!! Maybe its just cos i just finished high school and since then i been slacking off excercising cos i've been busy. I planned to start excericing like i use to (walk everyday for an hour and weight training), but because my sleeping pattern has been derailed by the mentality of 'no school tomorrow' I never get up early enough to excersice. I wake up at noon! I spose, the fact that its xmas and new year doesnt help.... *sigh* Yes, at the moment i am overwight... not much, but overweight nonetheless... My BMI is 26.... I'm thinking of losing 10 kilos, to drop my BMI to 22... is that a good thing? I mean, i seriosuly don't want to end up anorexic... ARGH, my mind is in constant battle: I dun need to lose weight, just control my eating and get back to the usual excersice and stick to 60 kgs... The other says lose weight, feel better, look better blah blah ... Damn celebrities. If i can only afford a gym membership...
  13. I've written many things on here in the short time I have been a member because im still in the process of accepting its over, but I still need answers. Right now I keep learning new things, but most of them are lies ... I need a girl or two to help me understand and translate this code that has been given to me: It has been less than a week since my ex broke up with me, and she went after a guy. Well this guy didn't like her ... now my ex has got a new boyfriend (who she is using as a rebound because the other guy didnt like her) yet she hasn't rebounded with anyone to avoid the pain of breaking up with me (we were together for 2 years). Naturally it is strange to me that she acts like i don't exist. Anyhow ... the new guy is 15 and she will be 18 in a couple months just to give you some insight. Anyhow, over the course of our relationship she was fairly heavy, but i didnt care. I always told her she was beautiful and helped her diet. Well she lost 30 lbs and started becoming vain. I didnt notice till later tha she took advantage of my support and my confidence building. So me and her are into the music scene, but im not a "scene" kid who is completely living and dying by the music. Well she now has this image of being a scene girl and it seems like she is dating this guy just because he is in the "thick of things" when it comes to hardcore music in our area. Her friends have even told me that she has become very vain always commenting on how she lost weight, and what size jeans she wears, etc. I didn't care whether she lost 10 lbs or gained 10 lbs so long as she was happy i loved her the same. Well i finally get the courage to be at the same show that she was at. I havent contacted her, i dont think I even saw her there. Well apparently she told her friends that she had to "apologize to her new man" because he felt awkward that I was even there. WTF? honestly, i dont see how she can think like that. and she said i am "acting dumb" --- serioulsy i havent talked to her since the break up, period. nothing has been going on ... i have been writing music and being by myself. also --- she told someone that she likes her new boyfriend because "he talks to her and she can be herself" --- I dont think I have had so many people tell me she is so "confused and lame" after hearing that. If i could describe to you the freedoms i gave this girl and how often i would talk to her (call her when she wanted me to, surprise her with dinner, spend the night together). im trying to figure out if she is just trying to make excuses for dumping me even though no one (including her) can come up with any. ill update this in a bit maybe if i can figure out more. PLEASE LADIES, DECIPHER WHAT IS GOING ON (or guys).
  14. I am almost 300 pounds and I am only 20... I do an awesome job hiding the many pounds I have, But I want to make my man happy... and I feel that if I lost some weight it would make him happy... and not to mention it would make me EXTREMELY happy to lose say.... 150 pounds. Does anyone have this problem... or better yet HAD this problem that can give me a few good ideas??? Im so lost and my weight has been a problem since I was say, 11... I dont remember the time I actually fit in anything less than a 20. I dont know but I know my health is on the lines... but no one can help me without surgery... ANY IDEAS??? Jessica
  15. I am a 16 year old guy and going through some extreme changes. I am growing constantly, and in the past couple of months I have grown almost a foot. Also I am gaing weight like crazy, and not good weight. In the past one and a half months I have put on just over one hundred pounds of pure fat. I have not been eating anything other than what I normally eat, and I've tried dieting to lose weight and it doesn't work at all. I have to keep on buying new clothes for my new height and my new weight. I have seen no one I know go through this kind of change. Is this like some weird thing to do with puberty or adolescence? This is really weird, I could really use some help on what you think this is and if you think there is any way to stop the gaining of fat, since the growing thing really can't be stopped. Thank you for the help
  16. hey guys...i dont think im fat but latley ive been "feeling" fat and i thought maybe i should lose 5 or 10 lbs. to feel good about myself...and well i kind of need some help..if anybody reading this has lost weight quickly without harming or starving yourself..tell me how u did it! i dont want atkins..or stuff like that-i want ways to work on it at home running and etc..has anybody lost lbs fast? please help soon! thanks so much! -celci-
  17. I am 5' 155lbs. I body builded for 2 years then I became pretty skinny then I met my recent fiance, 3 1/2 years ago then I put on the wieght. when I met him I was 135 lbs very toned and muscular, and now I have put on the pounds. So please help me out. And I don't want to bodybuild again for a while. Advice is much appreciated
  18. denzal


    ok there is this girl at college and i think she is so great i think she likes me too but i dont know and i am chronicly shy. give me advice heres some background info. Im in the same Computer class at college as her at first i couldnt talk to her i just couldnt do it then my friends became her friends and now we are good friends. ill walk into class and sit next to her if there is a free seat but i dont know if this is too forward/obvious sitting next to her whenever i get a chance i think she likesd me becoz she will come and sit next to me sometimes and when we are on the computers and she finds a good website or something to get my attention she puts her hand on mine (can be for quite along time) and when we are walking to the pub or sumthing she will just grab my arm (you know like they do at weddings arms linked an stuff) and today i realized that i may be in love with her but i dont know how she feels. we were sitting eating lunch and she said to me i cant lose weight, i dont know why she said it but i was thinking you dont need to lose weight u are gorgeous but i couldnt bring myself to say it. i was giving her a lift home and i was thinking of bringing up the weight thing by saying something like" you know earlier when u said u were fat etc i think your gorgoues and dont need to lose weight" and i was so close to sayiung it but i just couldnt and i dont know why??? anywayz we arrived at her house and she put her hand on my thigh and said thanx for the lift.... i dont know if she is just really friendly or what but she is not like that around the other guys in our class.... i dont know what to do thanx for any help/advice etc DenZal email removed
  19. I been talking to this guy for about 4 months now....I know that his family said take things slow with him.. But I want to know what he thinks about me. I know when I tell him that i am trying to lose weight he said that i love ur body how it is. I mainly want to know where is this going to go but I don't want to just come out like that.. is this a line that i can say without just saying but that he can also know what i am trying to say too @ the same time.... Thanks... Sorry if the grammer is not good
  20. I have recently gained a lot of weight...Does anyone know good suggetions of losing weight that isn't too stressful....I have access to a really good gym, but can't get past eating a lot of crap foods in large amounts...I think it has a lot to do with the amount of stress in my life and it's kind of a way to feel better, but now it's just making me feel worse and more self conscious than before...please help
  21. Since my last relationship. I'm starting to miss having someone, but other then that I still am working on myself. But truly that's a lifelong project. I'm working on losing weight, I'm stable emotionally, my job is stable, may be moving. So working on paperwork for that. If I move I'll have the project of furnishing my appartment. Have a few things but not everything. Case Manager has a way to help with some of that. Though meeting someone isn't a priority it's something I'm starting to think about.
  22. I don’t really like talking about my feelings with people because I feel like often times people ‘I think’ I can trust are dismissive of what I’m feeling. That’s why this post is mainly just to vent what I’ve been feeling since the beginning of this year. I don’t even know where to start but I feel like I’ve slowly become numb and I don’t think it’s normal that I haven’t cried about my problems when I remember myself being an emotional and sensitive person years ago... I’d cry over something so small or anything that would just tug gently at my heart strings and now it takes a lot more than a tragedy to make me cry... Anyways, last year I was talking to a guy whom I had attended high school with (through social media) We had a great time talking - or at least that’s what I thought. He was the one who seemed like wanted a relationship with me (more than I did) and would call me ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ after only talking for about a month. We went on two dates and after that he just completely ghosted me. I was okay with that, I mean I was obviously hurt but it was fairly easy for me to move on because we weren’t really dating. However, I thought it was because of my appearance. I thought that he just didn’t like me because I was ‘big’. So after that I decided to lose weight. Flash forward to March 2019, I began my weight loss journey and from March to now I’ve managed to lose 25lbs. I want to be as honest as possible so most of that weight loss was because I’d starve myself or throw up my food. I KNOW that’s bad but I was THAT desperate. I know now that, that wasn’t the way I should’ve done things and I’ve corrected my mistakes since then.I’ve always been so insecure with the way I look. I’ve always felt ugly. I’ve always felt fat and I don’t want to put the blame on anyone but I feel like I’ve never felt good enough because the attention was never really on me and always on my siblings who were prettier and skinnier. I love my siblings and I don’t want to blame them but that’s just how I feel. I know it’s an evil thing to say and I feel disgusting for having this mentality but when you have people constantly trying to talk or get close to you (getting your hopes up) only because they want to get closer to your siblings - it just really makes you feel so worthless. Over the months I’ve had guys want to talk to me or hang out with me but I just can’t bring myself to reply or keep a conversation going with these guys... It’s really not because I feel like I’m better than them or because I feel like I can do better... I don’t know what it is. And I feel like it’s reflected on my relationships with friends too. I have very little friends and the very little friends I do have are lifelong friends. I’m 23 but these are people I’ve kept in my life for 7+ years. But I have this one male friend who I know really likes me. I don’t feel that way about him and he knows that. The thing is that I WANT to talk to him because he’s an amazing friend and he’s always been there for me but I can’t talk to him and give him false hope. I don’t want him to think ‘She’s being nice! It’s because she likes me too’ I don’t want that. It’s hard to softly ignore him because 1) I don’t want to and 2) I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’ve thought long and hard about it and I don’t like him romantically but I can’t help shake off that I enjoy talking to him because he’s the only person I want to talk to. It’s left me wondering if I’m just a shallow person who doesn’t like him because of his looks but it can’t be that because I think he’s very attractive but that’s not enough for me. Our relationship is quite complicated because I KNOW him and the way he is. I’ve liked him and he hasn’t liked me back, then he’s liked me and I haven’t liked him back. We’ve had that cycle go on for the 12 years I’ve known him. I also know that he tends to have crushes on different girls every other week. I can’t take his confessions seriously when he’s displayed behavior like that in the long time I’ve known him. Could it really be that I don’t want him as a boyfriend because I don’t think he’s boyfriend material? I don’t know what to do... All my life I’ve always been in relationships with the same type of men. The first person I ever fell in love with cheated on me with a family member and also broke up with me after he slept with me. That was so painful for me. I lost my virginity to someone who I thought loved me too but left me feeling stupid after getting what he wanted. I was only 16. The second person I loved strung me along for years, always promising me a relationship - but then always going back to an ex. When we finally were in a relationship everything seemed good but towards the end I found out he was a liar. He hid so many things from me and then got mad at me for breaking up with him. He has so many problems, he would go weeks without talking to me and it was just a lot to handle while being a senior in high school trying to graduate. The third person I loved was a sweet talker but he was manipulative and narcissistic. He always made me feel like it was me and that I wasn’t putting in effort to make things work. It was always him first and it was always what he wanted. Given my relationship history I feel like I have a type I’m attracted to, even without realizing it until I’m actually in a relationship with that person. I just don’t know what to do really... I don’t think I’m depressed but at times I feel so sad and so lonely. I constantly ignore the only people trying to reach out to me and I don’t know why I let this self destructive behavior continue. The only person I WANT to talk to is the only person I can’t talk to. I feel like my head might just explode because of how constantly I think about all of this. I know this post is all over the place but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read all of what I’ve just wrote. Thank you for hearing me out. I truly appreciate you, whoever you are.
  23. So I recently moved to a new place and want to lose some right badly. They have a gym, a tennis court, badminton court, yoga, swimming, tennis, squash. Also a running track. The problem is the classes for any of these cost quite a bit. I'm not great at any of them but know how to play. I also currently don't have any friends here yet. What can I do that will help me lose weight ?!
  24. Growing up I was always the skinny one. Now that I started to lift I have gain 12lbs of muscles and fill out a little bit. However, for some reason I'm not gaining anymore weight. It's been like this for two weeks. I even took a week OFF of physical activity in the case that I was over training but I started to lose weight. This totally knocked out my motivation for lifting. How can I gain more muscles?
  25. I joined this community since I have seen many members that provides information about health supplements. I do take enormous health supplements and now that I wanted to reduce my weight I searched for products that are all natural ingredients and the one of the top of my list is this Liptoprin Rx weight loss health supplement. But there is one ingredient that I wanted to avoid and that is ephedra. Is there anyone here who have actually used this product and give me some insights on the ingredients and what was the effect in your metabolism upon taking it? It will be highly appreciated for those who can help me about this product. Thank you very much.
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