blueangel

If I post more. I'm paranoid somebody will steal

Only time will help her discover these things with you. Until then, get her to realize what she's doing and talk about it. When I wanted to breakup with my boyfriend, I kept doing stuff like that to get him to break up with me. After a while, when it wasnt working, I stopped. He finally then confronted me about it and I realized that I was with him to make me feel better about myself. And since my past made me feel worthless, there was nothing he could to fill this void. It was up to me to... There is nothing you can do to fill this void. It is up to her to.

We dont realize what we've got until it's gone. Without it, we cant definitely feel the absense. But time has a way of melting everything back into what's normal... or atleast what once was. It is when you actually FEEL that you need what is now absent in your life to live your life that you must double check yourself- especially when it's a person. In every relationship, we get something out of it. Determine what you were getting out of a relationship and bring yourself to find another source for it. A person will never fill your "needs" for life because all you need is YOU to be complete. So I wouldnt suggest finding another source in another person. Find it from within. And if you really feel like you are devoid of it (for example- love) than give to others what you wish to receive... and you will find you've had it all along. Relationships are open oppertunities for expressing our love, our true self. So is it the person you are missing or self expression you got out of it? Be honest with yourself. Really honest You know when you love someone when that someone's presense makes you love YOU. But remember this: love for yourself is the only love you need... and when the oppertunity (relationship) is gone, dont let it cause you to feel less about yourself. Instead, remember what you discovered... and never stop growing. Never stop loving. What goes around comes around. This is life.

If you want to have an honest relationship, then be honest. Not just with yourself but with him. TELL him everything you've told us here- not in a third person way but you know what I mean. Tell him about these doubts and little things in the back of your mind. Sit him down and tell him to just listen, and speak gently. It is only through a loving way, any messages can be sent and so confront him in a loving way. There's nothing wrong with having these feelings but if your boyfriend really cares about you, do you really think he would want you to remain in tumult, keeping everything from him? The answer is no. And if he gets defensive, keep your calm and say, "Please just listen to me. This may or may not be true, but this is how you have been making me FEEL." If you change your reaction, he will change his. Keep control of the flow of the conversation and once you're done, leave it in his hands, and sit back and listen. If he tells you things you dont want to hear, dont get upset. Keep your cool because otherwise, he'll be afraid to ever tell you anything again. The real question here is not whether or not he did what he did. It's whether or not you will still try to make it work nomatter what. If he's going off and avoiding you, then obviously there is something deeper going on. And so instead of focusing on the actions, try to focus on WHY.

I think this is exactly what many need to hear

waiting for my time to shine

Okay, I read your post and here's what I have to say: He is his own responsibility and anything involved with him, is not your own. You dont have a responsibility to be the perfect daughter if he hasnt (and sorry to say but probably wont be) been the perfect father. You can love him even if he isnt included in your life. What you are responsible for is your feelings and what you do with them. Stuffing them or telling outsiders does not make the issue go away. It's your father who needs to understand what he has done to his little girl. Write him a letter and pour out everything. This is probably the only way you can release them (even if you no longer think you feel them) and this may be the only way he can come to terms with himself. This is what he is doing: running. Running from his whole life... which probably has to do with something dealing with the past because you dont start poisoning yourself unless you want to die (even without the intention of doing so on the spot) How he is handling his childhood is affecting his adulthood. From what you've said, it seems as if you understand the pain he is causing and from what provokes him to act out. Because of this, be sure not to follow his steps. You may end up never going as far as poisoning yourself, but there are other ways. 90% of people who are made victims later turn into an abuser... of anything. I can see you're stronger than that (for now) but someday this all is going to start to faintly show through your life until you have to deal with it. It's best to deal now. If you want your father to change, he has to prove it to you, prove that he loves you by changing. If he isnt willing to love you through his actions, neither should you be. What goes around comes around and if he really wants to save his relationship with his daughter, he will really think hard about those words. It may take a lot to get through his thick head until he actually faces himself. There is a soul in there. There always has been. But it's not up to you to save him. It's first his choice. Second, comes your supporting. And you dont want to support what he isnt doing. Your life or any part of it should not be wasted on him if he isnt willing to give up on himself, wasting away. If he wont read your letter, dont stop sending it. Right now, time spent with him wont do anything since he is giving his time to other powers. And a real father who understood wouldnt want their daughter in an unhealthy and unhappy situation. Since he cant set those boundaries for you, it's up to you to decide what is best. Communicating and trying to break through to him with your own feelings is the only thing that could work. There's a father in him somewhere that might eventually start to hear. But after many years of abusing, it may take many years more. Seriously think about the letter. Tell him until he hears... and even if he never does, atleast you'll have no regrets. Hope it helped

If in a clothing store, hold up something as if wanting to try it on, turn to her, and say, "pink is so my color, what do you think?" that'll make her laugh

Want to know some experiences I've had with God- Well, throughout my childhood, I had always been intrigued in the supernatural. Because of this, I would often play on the quija board (board for contacting spirits) and maybe opened some doors I shouldnt have? I dont know. Strange things happen to me every once in a while (or did) such as in the middle of the night, random things would be thrown against the wall, jolting me from sleep. Sometimes when I'd put a pencil to paper, something (feeling like a real life hand) would grab my wrist and start literally moving it back and forth. I cant sleep at night anymore (or atleast for a long time) because I'd get scared when my dog would randomly snap at the air, awakening from sleep or when the lights would start flickering. I dont know how to explain all of that, maybe I'm crazy(ha! probably) but I would get so scared at night, that I would have to leave my light on until morning. I tried praying to God for help but it never did anything. Then, one night (not saying I believe in Jesus or not but Im just saying it how it happened) I prayed to Jesus and this calm came over me like nothing before. Maybe it was because I believed it would work or just coincidence... but the next morning, I was so happy that my fear or any reasons for fear were gone that I just broke down into tears out of pure joy. I even called my mom to tell her but she just said, "take your medication lately?" so I hung up on her. But that's besides the point. Another thing that happened was once at my youth group, we had to stand up and sing with the band on the stage some worship song. I thought it was stupid so I didnt really join in. But then the lights suddenly started flickering, and the music was dying until all we were left with were the surrounding candles on the stage, the darkness, and our voices. It was such a strange but beautiful moment. I felt safe as my own voice faded in with theirs. The guy on stage put down his guitar and so did everyone else with instruments. It lasted for a good while until the backup lights came on and they figured out how to get the guitars playing also. I remember thinking to myself, "see people? that isnt what it's about..." I'll add more experiences later. I have some cool ones. So... stay tuned, folks!

We are the ones giving advice but it is you who decides what to do.

We have grown into a society in which people are afraid of simply reaching out and being nice. Because of this, whoever you do so to will be startled. To ease their "startlement" start by smiling everytime you two pass each other. Then, follow them into the store, find them alone, and depending on the store, say something about the products they are looking around in like, "Never worked for me, this stuff." "dont you love sales?" and then say, "hi my name is____" If a guy did this to me, I'd be so touched!

I think you're right. edit: well not about everything- but I'll reply more when I have time

I agree with stopping the head games. Confrontation is the only way.

You wont know anything about God unless you believe in God because only then do you experience him and the truths that come with. Not knowing how the world began is not affecting much of where we are going... and so where we are going is all we need be worried about. Seriously though, you too would really benefit from The Case for a Creator because it shows both sides and is really interesting. There's a lot we dont know about science and much of it is that there is a lot more of strange intervention then there is of natural causes... especially in dealing with the creation and design of the universe. Good read. Above my head. But still a good read.

Anything can lead to love. But right now when it's onesided, it's NOT love. That's what I'm saying.

A girl backs off when she wants you to give HER more attention. We like to talk about feelings and beliefs a lot, so maybe try getting into that. We all desire a conversation to help fill up that void and since everybody wants this, so would she. But really I think you need to ask her exactly what you asked us. Tell her it's childish of her to not tell you what's wrong and just wait for you to get it on your own. Tell her that if she doesnt change her act and start meeting you half way, you'll break up with HER. You dont really have to mean that last part but you got to get real with people sometimes... and to do so, you got to let them know where there actions are leading to. And since you know it's to a breakup anyway, it wont matter who does the deed.

If it doesnt feel right or if you ever unsure about something, this is your chance to take a step back, listen to your gut and say NO. If you want a relationship then you need to build a relationship first. So let it build up to this. You'll know when you feel comfortable doing this that you're ready. Dont ever let somebody make you feel like you owe it to them. They should respect your choices. And his choice to bring into such a thing so soon was very immature on his part, I'd have to say.

lol JUST STOP!!!

There's no such thing as perfect and if he lost interest then he wasnt at all perfect for YOU.

social security must take you away from this or something. You need a loving environment. stay in school and get a job someday so you can create a good environment for your kids... to avenge the death of your homelife today. And now for some lyrics by Good Charlotte: This world, this world is cold But you don't, you don't have to go You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely And no one seems to care You're mother's gone and your father hits you This pain you cannot bare But we all bleed the same way as you do We all have the same things to go thru Hold on...if you feel like letting go Hold on...it gets better than you know Your days you say they're way too long And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on) And you're not sure what you're looking for But you don't want to no more And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more But we all bleed the same way as you do And we all have the same things to go through Hold on...if you feel like letting go Hold on...it gets better than you know Don't stop looking you're one step closer Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on What are you looking for? What are you waiting for? Do you know what you're doing to me? Go ahead...what are you waiting for? Hold on...if you feel like letting go Hold on...it gets better than you know Don't stop looking you're one step closer Don't stop searching it's not over... Hold on...if you feel like letting go Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on

We dont realize how much we need God until he is all we have. I think that if your soul hasnt left your body on it's own, then there's still a purpose for you being here, for it wanting to be here. (it's ok if you dont know what im talking about- i don t think i do either)

lol yeah, we got off subject alittle but hey, a conversation goes where it goes.

This is supposed to be about him, not me. (but thanks!) Seriously, though, I really liked your poem. It made me feel sad and any poem that has the ability to make you feel at all is a good one. Be proud of yourself.

For the past to replicate itself completely is impossible. It's up to you to create the future- not what happens around you, but inside you. Everything out there you dont need to be happy, to be you. Doing this will not cause you to "forget" your baby because he (she?) IS inside of you and in your heart. But it's not up to you to try and hold it there. Let it go naturally and it will all fall into place naturally. Fears only bring us down. You already know that the better choice is to take the chance. Life is swinging things around constantly. Either you reach up and hold on or you fall. It's up to you. Good luck

Dont think it unfortunate you two have a bond. Keep it cherished in your heart. The more you try to make something go away, the stronger of a hold it has on you. You can't MAKE something ever go away. You just have to LET it go away. Let it go, release it- you dont need anything to be happy and once you realize that, you'll no longer feel the need to force things away. (thanks everyone- Words have a way of articulating themselves when they are the truth)